Guest: Cool, me too!

The-Vegginonymous-Potato: I mean... that's all true, but... is there a reason you reviewed that?

Harryscuzin: I ship FedEx too, but not Drarry.L: Aw, that's sad. Hopefully you come back soon!

Country-Fangirl: Yeah you tell him!

MidnightBunnyy: Wellllll thank you then. And YASSSSS FEDEX!

Well, hope you guys enjoy! This update isn't... as late as it could be! In fact, by my standards-

Wylie: Blah, blah, blah. No one cares.

Me: Oh, so now you're tormenting me in my A/N's too?

Wylie: I mean, you could just let me leave...

Me: Lollllll good joke Wylie.

Anyway, guys, enjoy the chapter!

Me: Hmm... who do we have left? Let's see... *goes back and reads other fanfic chapters because I'm just an inconsistent forgetful author like that* Fitz, Keefe, and Sophie! This is going to be interesting! Now, who should be my first victim- I MEAN, READER! Sorry, I tend to say crazy things when I'm sleep deprived-

Wylie: And when you're not sleep deprived.

Tam: And when you're sleeping.

Wylie: Basically, anything that comes out of your mouth is crazy.

Me: Even this?

Wylie: Even wha-

Me: "LYLIE FOR THE WINH!"

Wylie: Well, except that.

Me: Ooh, and "Bam! It's Tiana, because it's all about the ***Bangs™***!"

Tam: Hmm, and that. But otherwise-

Me: "WYLIE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE IN THIS FANFICTION!"

Wylie: Fine, fine, you've made your point.

Me: "Tam is salty."

Tam: Will you just shut up and get on with the story?

Me: Fine. So, as I was saying, who should my next vic- reader- be? Hmm... *Creepily stares at Keefe, Sophie, and Fitz* Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head! You shall read your fanfiction!

Fitz: Do I have to?

Me: Yes. Because I am writing a book nine prediction. I could easily kill you off. And then at your funeral Sophie will say "Oh, good! He's finally gone!" and proceed to make out with Keefe. So, in conclusion, never annoy an author because she will get her revenge. Did I make myself clear?

Fitz: Yes... please don't kill me in Swan Song... but... I really don't want to-

Me: You wanna know how you'd die? You'd get stuck in a chandelier again, and then the chandelier would fall- and land right on top of you! RIP Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head!

Fitz: Okay. Okay. So I wrote a fanfiction for Solophie.

Sophie: Does that count as a ship?

Me: Hmm, good question. Better ask the book of shipping.

Book of shipping: Hey, haven't seen you guys in a while! How are you?

Me: Dying. You?

Book of shipping: Fanpotatoing. So, anyway, what do you need advice on? Is it on whether or not it's okay to ignore a character death in order to keep shipping your OTP? The answer is YES! WHOO! KENRALIE FOREVER!

Me: Good, 'cause I do that. But that's not why I called you here. I need to know: Does a Solophie fanfiction count as a ship oneshot?

Book of shipping: I mean, not really, but Solophie's great so I would support you making an exception.

Me: Great, thanks!

Book of shipping: Anytime!

Me: So, Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head-

Fitz: Could you not call me that?

Me: *Takes out notepad* Fitz... caught... chandelier... creaking noise...

Fitz: Call me whatever you'd like!

Me: Good, good. Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head, proceed with the Solophie fanfiction.

Fitz: "Sophie walked up to Everglen for the Black Swan reunion. 'Wow, it's been a while since I saw you!' she said to her EBWSATBJFWBMSLSNS, or Fitz. Staring into his gorgeous teal eyes made her heart flutter, as it did so many years ago, when she loved him more than anything else in the world."

Tam: Wow, egotistical much?

Fitz: Uh... big word!

Tam: *Salty eyeroll* Just continue.

Fitz: "Sadly, they were broken up years ago by Lord Uglyhair-"

Keefe: EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! KILL HIM, FANGIRL, KILL HIM!

Me: *Takes notepad back out* ...Fitz... WANNA SWING... CHANDELIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEER... another creak...

Fitz: Sorry! Typo!

Keefe: Good.

Sophie: Also, Keefe isn't what broke us up. I realized my feelings for him way after we finished dating. We broke up because of your stupid matchmaking obsession. Duh.

Fitz: LET ME TELL THE STORY MY WAY. "Even though Fitz resented Lord Ug-Hunkyhair for stealing the beautiful Sophie, he was still sad when Hunkyhair was killed by his psycho mother. Nowhere near as sad as Sophie, though. She was heartbroken. But then, after living in zombie-mode for months, she realized- Yes, it was sad that Keefe died, but she didn't need a guy to be happy! Or a girl, so don't look so excited, A. Fan. She could move on and live a perfectly happy life as SINGLE SOPHIE! However, her friends were not so happy about this decision.

'Sophie, I really like you, would you consider-' said Deck.

'No.'

'Sophie, will you marry-' said Salty Boy.

'No.'

'Sophie, guess what, I'm gay, do you like me ba-' said Linh.

'No.'

But then, the most attractive one of all, the one Sophie fell for so many years ago looked at her with his beautiful teal eyes. Ah, those beautiful teal eyes. Even as she told her heart to stop, it couldn't help but flutter. Those eyes... so breathtaking."

Keefe: WE GET IT, FITZ, YOU LIKE YOUR EYES!

Biana: I HAVE THE SAME EYES!

Fitz: But- but Team Fitz! It's all about the ***EYES***!

Keefe: The ***HAIR*** is far better!

Dex: No, the ***DIMPLES***-

Tam: The ***BANGS***

Sophie: Boys! Stop arguing! Fitz, continue with your story!

Fitz: Thanks, Beautiful Sophie.

Sophie: Um-

Fitz: "Truly, Fitz was... different... than the rest of these morons. Sophie prayed he wouldn't ask her out, for she had doubts about her willpower. But... would it really be the worst thing if she gave up her Solophie ideals and dated Wonderboy? She... wasn't sure. Oh, the indecision! How it plagued her! Before she had time to really think it through at weigh the pros and cons and ask for the opinions of experts, Fitz opened his mouth and asked that dreaded, yet amazing, question.

'Sophie, I... I know you want to be single, and I know we broke up years ago, but... no matter how much my head tells me to leave you alone, my heart just wants to be with you. Sophie, I'd understand if you say no, but it's impossible for me to not at least try- Sophie, would you be willing to give me another chance at being your boyfriend?'

Sophie was only given a second to make her decision, and she hoped it was the right one. Before she could change her mind, Sophie opened her mouth and gave her answer."

And it just ends there! Look at that, I pulled a Shannon, and it's not technically a Sophitz story! I am so talented.

Me: Fine, whatever. Keefe, your turn.

Keefe: Um, I think we all know which obvious OTP I'm gonna write about- sadly, not Sokeefe, since Fangirl said I couldn't, but the other OTP- can anyone guess?

Fitz: Sophitz!

Sophie: Chandelitz!

Biana: Sparkana?

Tam: Bam! It's Tiana?

Wylie: Lylie?

Dex: Dover?

Marella: Dexella?

Linh: FedEx?

Me: Fangirlmelt?

Keefe: No! You're all wrong! The answer is, BO AND RO! I am going to recite the ballad!

Ad break! You can find this story as a fanfiction on A very obsessed fangirl's account. It is entitled The Ballad of Bo and Ro. Would you be so kind as to go and review it?

Wylie: Fangirl, you're pathetic.

Me: Probably. Anyway, Keefe, go ahead!

Keefe: "Bo and Ro,

And ogre couple.

Bo and Ro,

They'll do an ogre snuggle.

Their names rhyme,

Isn't that so cute?

Ro's pointing a melder at me.

I better run before she shoots."

Ro: *Has magically appeared to listen* *Takes out melder* Yes... you'd better. By the way, you might want to watch out for some flesh-eating bacteria...

Keefe: *Gulps* "I don't really know their story,

But I know I'll win the bet.

I win every time.

Ro is not a threat!

Ro: *Aims melder* Wanna repeat that?

Keefe: Um... no. "BoRo must be

The best couple ever.

Well, except for Team Foster Keefe.

I know we're even better."

Sophie: Well, that last bit is true.

Keefe: Obviously. "Now Ro is looking at me,

Like I'm going to die.

Um, running away now!

Hope you liked it- BYE!"

Ro: Smart decision, Funkyhair.

Sophie: But I really liked the ballad!

Biana: Yeah, it was really good!

Tam: Mallowmelt, Fangirl, you're pathetic.

Me: Yeah... yeah, that's true. Sophie, your turn!

Sophie: Okay, so I wrote a Keefitz fic. It's obviously not my OTP, since I'm dating Keefe, but I don't feel like getting involved in any ship wars. So I'm just going to give a joke resolution to the ship war over me. Plus, it's funny and I know Fitz will hate it.

Me: Lol I like your reasoning.

Sophie: Thank you! "Sophie hesitated. Both of the boys asking her out were so wonderful- how would she ever choose between them? The answer was, she couldn't. When she told them so, both boys sighed. Fitz was especially shocked later- when Sophie Foster chose his sister!"

Me: OH YES SOPHIANA YES YES I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP THANK YOU SOPHIE YAYYYY SOPHIANAAAAA!

Biana: Um... she's insane.

Me: Fangirling and multishipping does that to you! *Maniacal laughing*

Sophie: Okay then. "Keefe and Fitz were in Fitz's room at Everglen, sulking about how Sophie didn't choose them. At one point, Keefe had the brilliant idea- make her jealous by dating each other. Of course, he may have had a subconscious ulterior motive, but shh! He doesn't know that yet! Fitz agreed to the plan, and thus began the start of their fake-relationship.

As it turns out, the plan worked! Although really, it never does in real life. But this is a fanfiction. So the jealousy plan worked."

Fourth wall: OH MALLOWMELT! OH THE AGONY, I'M DYING!

Me: Lol. I killed you a while ago. Continue.

Sophie: "Sophie tugged at an eyelash and said to Keefe 'Hey. Um. Biana and I broke up-'"

Me: WHAAAAAAAAAT!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sophie: Chill. "'So, um, Keefe... it's fine if you want to stay with Fitz, but I was... wondering if you would give me a second chance?'

Keefe looked between his longtime crush and his fake boyfriend. This was the moment he had been dreaming of for years- so why did it feel so wrong to say yes? Was it... no, it couldn't be... but maybe...

...because he came to actually like Fitz...?

The more Keefe thought about it, the more it made sense- especially all his jealousy over Fitzphie. Maybe he had really liked Fitz all along? Ugh, being an empath really didn't make him smarter about his own feelings. Either way, by now he was sure he had fallen in love with Wonderboy. And his empathy didn't fail him this time- he could tell that Fitz felt the same way.

Keefe smiled apologetically at Sophie. "Sorry, but... I guess I just chose Fitz, you know?"

Fitz grinned and squeezed Keefe's hand, turning bright red.

Sophie sighed. It was sad that Keefe rejected her- but both ends of the love triangle fell for each other, how could that be considered anything less than pure gold?"

Sophie: Did you like it?

Me: Yes very good. Now, speaking of things that are pure gold... I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE KOTLC WRITES KOTLC FANFICTION SERIES! *Confetti*

Well, hope you enjoyed! This was actually a lot of fun to write- both the fanfictions and the others' reactions. My personal favorite fanfiction was A. Fan x trash, lol.

Longest chapter- exceeding 2,000 words! Remember when it used to be like 300 per chapter? *Sigh* fEeLs LiKe JuSt YeStErDaY!

Anyway, I have an Iggy color poll up on my profile page- would you be so kind as to go vote on it? Thanks! Please review!