Chapter 42: What Bugging You?

Meredith pulled her scrub cap off with a sigh as she opened the conference room door and stepped inside to see Bella sitting at the table with her homework spread out around her. She glanced up at Meredith for a second but then scowled back at her homework.

"You know if you write any harder that table's going to have United States geography scratched in it permanently."

"So." Bella muttered "What do you want?"

Meredith sighed as she walked to the other side of the table and took a seat.

"I want to know what's got your panties so tight?"

"Huh?"

"Sorry." She shook her head and remembered she was talking to an nine year old "What's going on with you."

"Why do you care?"

"You're my daughter."

"You didn't want me before, why do you want me now?"

Meredith felt the sting of Bella's words but looked past it and saw tears in her eyes. Not tears of anger, tears of pain. She hid them quickly by curtaining her hair in front of her. Meredith leaned forward and stared her daughter down softly.

"Is that what they told you." Meredith asked softly "Did they say that I didn't want you."

Bella glanced up for a second, enough for Meredith to get her answer.

"Bella," Meredith shook her head "You know that's not true. If I didn't want you then why are you here? Out of obligation, no. You're here because I want you. Because I love you. Because due to very unfortunate events I somehow am getting a second chance. And those little bitches at school are just trying to get under your skin."

"I know." She sniffled "But it hurts ok?"

"I know." Meredith mumbled "I was nine years old too, once upon a time. I'd come home crying to an empty house with only the television to keep me company."

Bella lifted her face and her eyes grew wide "They had TV back then!?" she gasped "Was it black and white?"

Meredith glared slightly and rolled her eyes "No. I'm not a dinosaur thank you very much."

"But you're old."

"I'm going to ignore that for now. For the sake of our conversations staying on topic." Meredith said through her teeth "My point Arabella, is that I was there too. I used to be the girl with big hair and weird clothes, and everyone made fun of me, you know why?"

"No…why?"

"Because I dared to be different." She said "Because I wouldn't mold myself to conform. And you're different too. Whether you want to admit it or not you are me. And you don't want to be like them."

"No." she mumbled "I don't. They're stupid."

"So do you still want to cut your hair?"

"No." Bella mumbled as she grabbed a strand and held it up to look at "I really like my hair."

"So keep liking it." Meredith smiled "You can like yourself, even if no one else does."

"But they're so mean." Bella scoffed "I hate letting them get to me, but it does."

"Maybe you should use your anger in different ways."

"Like what?"

"Get back at them." Meredith shrugged "Show them that you're not going to take their shit."

"I'll get expelled if I get into a fight."

"Bella." Meredith smirked "You're my daughter. I know you're cleverer than to think with your fists."

"I'm confused."

"You'll get it." Meredith smiled. "So is that all that's bothering you."

"Mostly." Bella mumbled "But it's all I'm going to say."

"Spit it out Bella." Meredith sighed "You can tell me anything."

Bella looked at her with contemplation as she hesitated what she wanted to say.

"Can you be quieter when you and dad are having sex, it's really hard to sleep through something like that."

Meredith nearly fell out of her chair as her face fell and her mouth dropped into a wide O.

"You…you can hear…you…you know what sex is?"

"Yeah." Bella frowned "Earlier this year two of my classmates got caught going at it in the bathroom so they started doing sex education in fouth grade."

"Seriously." Meredith gasped "So you…I mean…you haven't…"

"Ew!" Bella scrunched up her nose "No. It's gross, and I still hate boys."

"Ok." Meredith said with a whooping sigh of relief "Ok good and yes. We'll be quieter."

Bella nodded and went back to her homework "Hey, when I'm done here can I go watch Dad's surgery?"

"You want to watch surgery?" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah." Bella smiled "It's really cool."

"You know what."

"What?"

"When all those twats teasing you are my age, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with five kids under their feet while they try to get dinner on the table on time…you'll be saving lives."

"You think I'll be a surgeon?"

Meredith smiled, one that beamed with pride.

"I know you will."