A/N: Well, it's been a while. After a week of being sick, during which I managed to write every day, I'm now back at work. I'm still writing every day, but I don't usually get my daily word count. At least this chapter is a bit longer. You'll get a short flashback again in this one, one Evan and Alex moment, some Sheppard, some Ellen and some Oliver. Hope you like it. :-D

Chapter 48

2008

"You'll be okay?"

"Evan, we've been through this before you tried leaving the first time."

He grinned down at her and kissed her brow. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Alex couldn't remember seeing him this happy in a while. Since Keller had checked her bloodwork and confirmed the test results, it was as though he was riding a wave of euphoria. And it was catching. Seeing him these days made her heart race and she felt like the girl she'd been thirteen years ago. "Take care, babe," she said, squeezing his hand.

"This time around we're probably even gonna make it through the Gate!" he said laughing. He made no move to go, however. Behind him the stained-glass window was almost glowing with sunlight as he shifted closer, his hands placed on either side of her on the metal desk.

She put both of her hands on his cheeks and shook her head. "Probably," she agreed quietly. Two days ago Evan and his team had been set to go on a mission when the city went into lockdown. There hadn't been an outbreak or anything, but the city's sensors hadn't yet been fully calibrated to the new surroundings yet, which sent the systems into a frantic escalation of events. First, quarantine had been established and the city had started broadcasting a signal, which could very easily have alerted the Wraith or Ba'al to their current whereabouts, then quarantine had been breached by Sheppard smashing his way through a window and the self-destruct had started. Not a good start of the new year, all in all, but they'd survived. And for a moment there, Alex had been sure Evan would ask her to go back to Earth. But he hadn't.

"You should go," Alex said, her gaze drifting to the doorway, where she'd heard footsteps, but he shook his head.

"I know." It was just a routine mission. He and his team were alerting their allies of Ba'al trying to take advantage of their fear of the Wraith. So far without a whole lot of success. They either didn't take them too seriously or, as had been the case with two more settlements, they'd visited, had vanished. "Just one last kiss?"

Laughing, Alex pulled him closer and fulfilled his wish. "Go! I have to go talk to Oliver anyway. I should've left about five minutes ago." So far she hadn't talked to him yet. Anna had been ordered to stay in bed by Doctor Langdon, the on-base gynaecologist. Not a fun prospect for her friend, and she knew that Oliver was constantly worried about his wife. To pester him about having to pause going off-world with his team wasn't something she was looking forward to and suddenly she understood why it'd been hard for Teyla to talk to Sheppard. Well, apart from the other obvious issues.

"Fine," he breathed and let go of her. "I just hate that we have to tell so many people straight away."

Alex nodded and got off her chair. Oliver needed to know, and by telling him, she could just as well tell Anna. She and Evan had already talked to Carter the day before and with the next bunch of reports, the news would also reach the IOA. They might as well tell his parents, her mother and Adam. And somehow talking to their families seemed harder than talking to their co-workers. The expectations of parents and siblings were just that much higher. And they'd keep bugging them about doing all they could to be stationed back home. To keep in touch constantly.

Well, they'd cross that bridge when they had to and not a moment sooner. "It'll be alright," she said, repeating it like a mantra, the way they had done for days now. Taking his hand, she led him to the door. He had to go, or he'd be late, and he'd be embarrassed about it to say the least. "I can take care of myself."

"I know that, too. Hey, have you heard from Jackson?"

Vala, Daniel, Teal'c and Mitchell had returned via Midway Station back to Earth. Their appointment had been rescheduled, but they'd be back once they got any new leads on Ba'al. Mitchell didn't appear too sorry about leaving. He was probably just looking forward to being alone in his own home and back at the job at the SGC. Not that Alex could blame him. She knew Evan didn't feel all that different about it. It had indeed taken Daedalus two whole weeks to get to them, and another three more days to take them back to Atlantis. By then, she and Evan had been almost sure, of course, but they hadn't told anyone stranded with them about what was going on. Alex still suspected Vala guessed something, but she and Vala hadn't talked about it. Neither had she told Daniel.

"There hasn't been a dial-out, you know?"

Evan let out a long breath and nodded. "No, no, of course." It'd be three days before Carter dialled Midway to send the next package of reports and messages and two more days until the next data package from Earth was expected. And Evan wouldn't be back to hear the news straight away. Daniel had taken pictures of the book which they had brought with them and Evan was interested in the result. He usually was about the archaeological research. He said it was interesting and it didn't make his head spin like McKay's talk often did. If Alex hadn't known him, she surely would not have taken his words as a compliment.

"I'll save Ellen's and your parents' emails for when you get back."

He nodded, threw an arm around her and kissed her temple. They were in front of one of the transports now and already he was in full gear. He only needed to get to the Gate Room now and meet up with his team. Jonas among them. She wasn't looking forward to that talk either.

"Sounds like a deal," he said, leaning in to kiss her one last time. He was grinning now. From ear to ear and he looked like that boy again. The one she'd met in the ruins of Trier. "I love you!"

"Love you too!"

Daniel looked down at his watch. They'd been waiting for about half an hour. Thirty minutes had already passed since their set appointment. And he looked more nervous than Alex felt.

"What-"

Shaking his head, Daniel leaned his head against the wall. "I have to be at work at midnight," he grin and with a look at Ellen, who wasn't even smiling. She would have been a year ago. But things were so different from what they would have been then.

"I'm gonna go inside and ask what's taking so long," she said. "We have reservations after all."

"No, we don't," Evan said, his thumb brushing over the back of Alex's hand.

"Yes, we do." Ellen sighed and got up from her chair. They were the only people waiting in the long, clinically clean and embarrassingly bureaucratic hallway.

"Ellen-"

"I know. But my brother is getting married and I want to take him out for dinner at least… well, and his wife and the best man." She threw a look at Daniel, who just raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

Best man.

Things were rushed, they were messy and the world had flipped upside down several times these past few months. The usual terms didn't exactly apply to this wedding. Daniel was just one of the witnesses, so was Ellen. There was no celebration planned, no cake. Daniel and Ellen had agreed to come and be here with them. Who else should they have asked? Daniel was the closest friend Alex had. Ellen was another friend and Evan's sister. It'd made sense to ask them.

It wasn't as though this was a secret. It wasn't as though they were eloping. This wedding didn't even need to take place if it were up to Alex. She just wanted that document. That name attached to hers and the old one deleted from her passport. So they could officially be perceived and called husband and wife. They'd been that for months already and neither she nor Evan felt like partying. Not with their child still missing. Not with the constant fear that they'd never see her, or the knowledge that she was probably already dead.

Millions of pictures would start flooding her mind as soon as she allowed herself to think about it. About what Ba'al might be doing to her.

Killing her in various ways to dissect her lifeless form.

Raising her as his own.

Raising her so she could be his next host.

Killing her when he couldn't get from her what he wanted.

And their daughter would never know that she had parents who loved her. That there were people looking for her, because that child couldn't think that way yet. She couldn't feel that way yet. She must be cold. She must be terrified without being able to put a word to the things she was perceiving.

Evan's hand lay on her arm as though he'd read her thoughts. As though he was doing his best to try and calm her down. "Ellen, we-"

"No!" Ellen argued, shaking her head again. "You're with me, Daniel, right? We should at least have dinner? We need to eat, right?"

In response, Daniel cleared his throat. He looked at Evan first, then at Alex. His blue eyes were serious and full of sympathy. "It wouldn't be the worst thing. You're far too thin. Both of you."

Alex would have laughed, had she felt like it at all.

"We're going, or I'm calling mom right now."

Evan blanched and, just as Ellen had intended, he grunted and nodded. "Fine," he hissed. "I'll get you back for that."

"Major Lorne and Doctor Woolston?" The public official said, just as four people, one young woman in a short white dress and three men in suits left the door at the end of the corridor. The woman eyed Alex suspiciously, then Evan. Evan was at least dressed for the occasion. eHe was in uniform, the dark blue matching his eyes and for a moment she felt her heart starting to race. Had they had time, had they had the opportunity to do this properly, had they thought it necessary to do this just right, he would have worn it as well. As it was, he just didn't have a suit anymore, and the uniform had been the easiest thing for him to pick.

She held on tight to his hand as they both got up, just as she'd been holding on to him since their return. She'd never let him go again and she didn't care how unhealthy that sounded to outsiders.

Evan's thumb stroked gently over the back of her hand. "Well then, let's get married."

"Such a romantic," Ellen sighed, but she wasn't smiling, or grinning, or mocking them. This wasn't romantic. They had no intention of making it so. There was just no place for romance in their lives. Not as long as they didn't have their child with them. And that might never be.

At least they'd be together.

"Do you want a beer?"

"Huh?" Alex almost flinched when Oliver asked her. She'd just sat down in front of him. She'd already arrived too late. At first she'd been to see Anna to tell her and she'd made her friend promise not to tell Oliver. Not that Anna'd had the time and Alex doubted her friend had used the radio to contact him.

Alex stirred her soup and shook her head. The smell of tomato wasn't making her nauseated. That was something. She'd met up with Oliver in the mess hall just after his shift had ended. He'd returned back to active duty while she, Evan and SG-1 had been stuck in that frozen village, and he clearly enjoyed being back on his feet again. She hadn't wanted to talk this through with him while he was patrolling the corridors with a team of Marines, as she would have had to do for being so late. This was better. Even if there were several people nearby. People who wouldn't be able to overhear what they were saying if she just talked quietly enough. A few tables over McKay was talking quietly with Keller and the way she looked at him was certainly a surprise. When had that happened? Well, at least McKay didn't seem to notice. Where was his girlfriend anyway? She'd better ask Oliver or Anna about that. Just not right now.

"Beer?"

Alex shook her head. "No," she said. "No, thanks." She cleared her throat and bit her lip as she looked up at Oliver. Anna had freaked out the moment she'd heard the news and Alex was sure Oliver would be happy for her and Evan as well, but still… she was nervous. In a way she was more nervous than when she'd told Evan. Because, although Oliver was a friend, he'd also been very involved in the search for Nora. He'd been there with them on Larsa, had been there when they were chased to the Gate by Deathgliders, and had been there when she and Evan had been declared Missing in Action. He'd be happy, but also concerned. But he wasn't Evan. "Oliver, I won't be going with you on the next missions."

"Oh?" Oliver asked, taking a sip of beer and almost choking on it, when Alex added:
"I'm pregnant."

Coughing and thumping himself on the chest, Oliver tried breathing normally again as tears shot into his eyes. Tears, which didn't vanish when he finally managed to get rid of the foreign matter in his windpipe. Shaking his head, he got up, practically ran around the table to throw his arms around Alex.

She stiffened and it took her a second before she was able to pat his arm. She hadn't expected such an outburst, not the tears, not the rough hug, or the way his hand ruffled her hair.

"Yes," he laughed and sat down next to her, completely forgetting his meal and his beer. "Alex, that's great!" There were still tears in his eyes as he looked into her face, smiling and shaking his head. "I didn't even think you were still… you know, trying?"

She swallowed hard and dropped her gaze. "Well, it's still early, so let's not get too excited."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him shake his head and wipe his eyes. "Don't talk like that, okay?" He reached out again and patted her hand. "You stay safe here, alright? Stay here, listen to Anna whine about not being able to walk around anymore, tell me which items I should bring back for you to study…" he trailed off and cleared his throat. "I'm happy for you. I really am."

"But?" She turned her head then. He still had that boyish face, and not even the trace of stubble could erase that impression. But his eyes were solemn and though the tears were gone, it was hard to look at them.

"There'll be three kids here soon."

"Yeah… maybe." She shook her head and automatically her hand shifted to her belly. It was still flat, no trace of the pregnancy could be seen yet, and still she felt like her body was already changing rapidly. But who could tell if that child would actually be born. It was still too early to say, and she hated thinking about losing another one, this time in a completely different way. She wasn't sure how she'd bear it.

"Are you- are you going to stay here? I mean-"

"Evan's staying," she interrupted him with a shake of his head. "I'm staying. My work is here."

He nodded, though he didn't look entirely satisfied with her answer. The smile wouldn't quite reach his eyes.

"What?"

"I-" he smiled vaguely and shrugged. "I'm just a bit worried. It's not exactly safe here, is it?"

Biting her lip, Alex shook her head. "But knowing what you know about the dangers lurking out here and in the Milky Way, do you seriously think any one of us is safer on Earth?"

Oliver scoffed, reached for his beer and took a sip. "I guess you're right. But I'm allowed to be worried, right?"

"Sure. It's not like I'm not."

With a nod, Oliver reached out to take her hand. He'd never done that before, but the warmth of his hand and the earnest expression in his eyes were more comforting than she would ever have thought possible. "It'll be okay," he said. "I have to believe that. Even here," he grinned and that boyish expression appeared again. "I mean, Teyla is staying, so I guess you're right."

"And Anna wants to stay with you."

He nodded. "Yes, well," his sheepish smile made her laugh. "I'd say it's her own fault, but-"

"Let's put it like this, there's only one Chair on Earth as well, so there's only so much super protection there."

Oliver grunted, but before he could reply, Alex spotted Sheppard steering straight towards them. Since their return he had dropped his grim demeanour and he wasn't constantly frowning, which was a big improvement, but he had lost some of that carefree boldness Alex had always associated with him. Not that that couldn't have been just an impression.

At the SGC, Oliver would have instantly jumped to his feet at the sight of his commanding officer approaching, but as it was, he stayed put and raised one eyebrow at Alex, who couldn't stop drawing comparisons. She should really stop that. She, like Anna and Oliver and Evan was going to stay here. This was their life for the foreseeable future.

"Hey," Sheppard said, slipping into the chair Oliver had just vacated and folding his arms on the tabletop and fixated Alex with a smirk. Not a knowing smirk, just the usual, Sheppard-typical grin. But that grin had ceased reaching his eyes. "You good?"

"Sure," she said, exchanging a look with Oliver. Clearly, Sheppard had come to talk to her, but Sheppard wasn't dismissing her. "What's up, Colonel?"

Sheppard nodded. "You know, I'm aware that you were gone a while, but, we sent you our reports of that outpost about a week ago. You haven't pestered Carter or McKay about it yet. Lorne hasn't said a word-"

"I haven't read it yet," Alex said, her heart dropping. It was the first time she hadn't prioritized her work while she was here on Atlantis and the way Sheppard was raising his eyebrows at her, made her want to curl up in a ball and pretend not to be there. The disappointed look in his grey eyes was probably the worst thing about that.

"You said that place might be an important find, McKay agrees by now, so that's saying something, and-"

"I'm sorry," Alex interrupted him. McKay agreed?! Why hadn't he said so?! "What- what did you find?"

Sheppard raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely. Now-"

"Well, Jonas did a bit of translating while you were away. There was some writing on the footage we took. I'm sure he's pestering Lorne about going there with your team as soon as they're back."

"Thanks," Alex said, looking over at Oliver again, who was guiding the bottle to his lips again. "I-" she cleared her throat. She wouldn't be going, she realized with a sinking feeling. She couldn't. Not unless they were three hundred percent sure that nothing could happen to them there. "Is-"

"How many Wraith did you meet, Sir?" Oliver interrupted her before she could stumble into a sentence which would then force her to reveal the pregnancy to Sheppard. And Sheppard, by the looks of it, wasn't crazy about that topic. Even if he'd only been upset about Teyla, he sure as hell wasn't going to like the idea of more babies on Atlantis, no matter how genuinely happy Carter had been about the latest news and no matter how openly she supported Alex's and Evan's decision to have the baby here and for Alex to stay here for the foreseeable future with their child.

"None?" It was almost a question. "It was like that other planet. No trace of anybody coming there since the last meetup there. Or whatever that place is." He shrugged. "Just take a look at the footage and my report with Doctor Schäfer. McKay has a hunch, but he'd like your confirmation."

"A hunch?" Alex asked. "Since when does Rodney McKay not immediately jump to conclusions?"

Sheppard wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Growth?"

"Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Lorne, please report to the infirmary." Alex stiffened and she automatically raised her head to look out for the voice that hadn't come from any visible source. Just the intercom.. She took a deep breath. Nothing had happened to Evan… surely not. Her hands were clammy and she got to her feet at the same time Sheppard did. He reached for his earpeace. "Johnson, what is it?"

Alex hadn't even recognized that voice, but she didn't exactly care. She walked towards the transport right by Sheppard's side, completely forgetting all about Oliver and the fact that he was still there. And he was by her side as they reached the transport. Sheppard threw him a look, but didn't object.

"What is it?" Alex breathed, her heart racing as Oliver put a hand on her back, steering her into the transport.

Sheppard shook his head. "It's okay," he said with a shrug. "Lorne and his team brought back a guest with them."