When Donatello finally woke up the next morning, Casey and Michelangelo helped him out of bed. He needed to move around to ensure that blood clots wouldn't form, but it did feel like his guts were going to spill out onto the floor. He tried not to complain as the three walked in slow circles around the bedroom.
It was weird to have lost so much weight all at once. Towards the end of his pregnancy, it had been a constant balancing act. He'd had to tilt a little backward while standing, to better compensate for the size of his belly. He'd had to plan out every step so that he didn't stumble. He couldn't see anything directly beneath him.
Don made it a point to look down. "Hey, my feet!" He was still swollen, but he could easily see them down there. "I feel so much lighter," Don told no one in particular. "How much did the babies weigh? I never got a chance to ask."
"I forget the exact numbers," Michelangelo replied. "April wrote them down for you. The first was nine something-"
"Pounds?" Don said dubiously.
"Yeah. The others were eight something and a little over ten," Mikey finished.
That didn't sound right to Don. Triplets usually had low birth weights. On the other hand, his were born far later than most, and the shells would've added weight too. Maybe it did make sense. Their mutant pedigree also might have accelerated their growth. It would explain how strong their kicks were.
Casey did the math. "You were carrying close to 30 pounds of baby."
"Believe me, I felt every ounce of it," Don groaned.
"You're a warrior, dude," Casey declared.
"A wounded warrior," Michelangelo added, noticing how pale his brother looked. "Let's get you sitting down."
Don wasn't so sure about sitting. His bottom was in terrible shape. Michelangelo saw his hesitation. "If you can handle sitting up, we can try to get a picture with you holding all three babies at once." Mikey knew that was something that Don wanted.
"Alright," Don agreed. "To the living room."
"You do know that Raph is still out there, right?" Casey checked.
"Raph and I are cool now... I think," Don panted. "Hey, what day is it?" Don had lost track.
"December 22," Michelangelo answered. "All the babies were born on the 21st."
Donatello nodded. It was a good birthdate - 12/21. Nice and symmetrical. It was also the date of the winter solstice - the shortest and darkest day of the year. Don had always liked the solstice. It appealed to his scientific mind, even though it tended to get lost in the chaos of the holiday season. While it may be short and dark, it was a time for new beginnings. Each day that came after it would be a little brighter, a little longer and lighter. Don liked the poetry of that. He certainly hoped that he had made it through the dark times.
Don's living room looked like a warzone. April and Casey's suitcases were sitting open. There was a garbage bag of medical waste and diapers by the door. There was bedding piled in a corner and a blanket on the kitchen table. It occurred to Don that there were now eight people in this one-bedroom sewer apartment.
It was kind of nice, given how lonely he had been for so long.
Raphael had been sitting on Don's chair, but he instinctively hustled out of it. Casey and Michelangelo settled him down into it.
"How are you feeling, bro?" Raphael asked.
"Not bad, all things considered. It's nice to be up and moving again," Don answered. "How are you feeling? Any after-effects from donating all that blood?"
"Just a little lightheaded," Raphael admitted.
"Make sure that you're eating and drinking a lot," Don preached. "There's plenty of food around here. And, get as much rest as possible."
Raphael cracked a grin. Don's voice was nice and strong now, and his eyes were much clearer too. "I missed you, Doctor Don."
"Glad to hear it. I missed you too." Michelangelo handed Don a mug and he took a sip. "Does this mean that you'll be staying awhile, Raphie?" Don wondered.
Raphael chuckled at Don's use of the affectionate nickname. "I'd like to, but it feels a little weird knowing that Leo is all alone in the Lair."
Donatello considered that. Leonardo had hurt him very deeply, but that didn't mean that Don wanted to hurt Leo in return. Don knew what it was like to feel alone and ostracized, and he didn't wish that upon anyone. Besides, this was the first day of his children's lives. There wouldn't be any chance to relive it. "He should come. Meet the kids," Don decided.
"I know he'd like to," Raphael slowly replied. "I called him last night and told him that everyone was okay. He said that he wished he was here."
"Let's make it happen," Don said. He was feeling generous. It was like a literal and proverbial weight had been lifted. He and the babies were here and okay. Now it was just a matter of letting wounds heal.
"Okay," Raphael agreed. "I'll call him."
"But first, let's take that picture," Michelangelo suggested.
It took quite a while to get the babies all arranged. Don was very tender, and he couldn't have too much pressure pushing down on his middle. Faith was fussy and Mei needed to be fed. Nevertheless, it felt great to be holding them all at once. Don had never developed a pregnancy glow, but he was definitely glowing by the time the photo was taken.
Michelangelo was amused at the scene. "Look how big they are. It's hard to believe that only yesterday they were all still inside of you. I don't know how they all fit."
Donatello shuddered.
"They're not going back, that's for sure," April remarked.
When Donatello had a moment of privacy later in the day, he texted the photo to Valeria, so that she would know the babies were born. He knew that Bishop might see it, but at the time he didn't care. He also explained to Val that he would be out of touch for a while. His focus needed to be on the babies, and on his own recovery.
Don took turns feeding the babies. He left the diapering up to others, since getting up and moving around was so difficult. He was in awe of the babies' tiny fingers and toes. They had excellent grips and reflexes for newborns.
Donatello was beginning to feel the need for a nap when Leonardo showed up. He was carrying a bunch of pizzas. Casey took them and set them down in the kitchen, leaving Leo without any armor. He gulped and approached Donatello's chair.
"Hey, Donnie. You're looking much better." He said it like he was a stranger. Leo then looked down at the bundle in his brother's arms. "She's beautiful."
Don felt himself growing red in the face. Whether it was embarrassment or anger, he couldn't tell. He looked down at Mei's perfect little face while he collected himself. Love replaced whatever that mysterious feeling had been. "I agree," he said quietly. "I always knew they would be."
"I'm sorry, Donnie," was Leo's only response.
This time the anger that rose within Donatello was undeniable. He whispered, for the sake of the sleeping baby. "Sorry for what? Trying to convince me to cast them aside? Throwing me out of the family when I needed you most?" His voice broke at the last part and he lifted a hand to gnaw on a finger. He didn't know why he was melting down. He had wanted to see Leo. No one had forced him to invite his brother here. Don reasoned that it must be the hormones leaving his system.
"Yes, for all of that," Leonardo replied. "I was only doing what I thought was best for everyone. I know you couldn't see it, but I really did think that I was looking out for you."
"By abandoning me when I was helpless?" Donatello snapped.
Leo's eyes widened. "You were never helpless, and I certainly never intended to abandon you. I figured as smart as you are, you would've seen-"
"Seen what?" Don interrupted.
"How much the rest of us were struggling too." Leo sighed. "Don, we were all so worried about you. Dad's death was so fresh. We couldn't bear to lose you too. And, this was dangerous. It was so freaking dangerous and the rest of us were completely helpless. As leader, your safety was my responsibility, and I wanted you to be somewhere that you'd be able to get proper medical attention. You said that you were staying on earth for the family. I guess I thought that if you realized that your family wouldn't stand by and watch you destroy yourself, you would figure it out and go somewhere safer of your own volition."
"You thought that if you took everything from me, I'd have no reason to stay on earth?" Don recapped. "That there would be nothing left for me here, so I would just leave?"
"When you phrase it that way it makes me sound like a monster," Leo mourned.
"Yes, it does," Don said simply.
Leo's eyes hardened. "I thought you might die."
"I almost did, and you wouldn't have been there. I would've died believing that you didn't love me enough to walk a couple of miles down the sewer when you knew damn well what I was going through and how much I needed you."
"I was trying to save you. You just couldn't see it. I do love you, Don. That's why I did it. We couldn't save Dad. Not even you could save Dad. I was just so terrified of losing you too. I was willing to revert to drastic measures to make sure that you would be okay. Sending you away killed me, Don. It killed a part of me, but I did it because I loved you, and I was just so desperate to help you."
Don looked at his brother with tear-filled eyes. He wasn't buying it, but he also didn't want to fight anymore, especially not with a sleeping baby in his arms. And, hearing Leo say that he loved him meant more to him than he wanted it to. His family's love was the most important thing in the world to him, the only thing that mattered. "I love you too, Leo," he squeaked. "In spite of everything. I know I share some blame, too. I just wish...I wish we could do it all over again. Try to get it right, because I'm not sure that I can get past this."
"We have to, Don."
"When… when it became obvious that I wasn't going anywhere, why did you keep freezing me out?" Don begged. "Why… why weren't you here for me? You knew exactly where I was, but you never came."
Leonardo looked at the floor. "If you had asked me to, I would've been here in a heartbeat, but you never did. I guess, in my mind, after a while, I'd already said goodbye. At a certain point, it felt like seeing you again would've just made it harder to bear if… when you died. Why lose you twice when the ties between us had already been severed?"
Don's voice quavered. "Are they really severed?"
"I don't know, Don," Leo replied. "I don't want them to be, but you already moved out. You're a dad now, and fatherhood isn't exactly compatible with the ninja lifestyle. Plus, I don't know what my role even is. I may be head of our clan, but you're now the head of your own little family. I don't think that we're irreparably broken, but I don't know how we fit together anymore."
"It's your family too," Don whispered. "The babies have genetic contributions from all four of us, not just me."
"That just made it weirder for us, believe me," Leonardo replied. "All four of us had different thoughts about what the future should look like, and how involved we wanted to be as parents. In the end, it seemed like we'd better step back and let you do your thing. But, Don, they're the closest thing to kids of our own that the rest of us will likely ever have. Stepping back was really, really hard."
"I know," Don answered. "I didn't mean to be so closed-minded and emotional about some of that stuff. I think that the hormones did some funny things to me. I wasn't always myself. Maybe now, we can figure out a plan that makes sense for all of us."
As you can imagine, these guys need a very long talk. The next chapter is a continuation of this conversation. Thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows. They have all meant a lot to me.