'You know, it is super fucked that Naruto literally spends every birthday at a festival about kicking that fox demon's ass.' She tried not to grimace as the boys rushed from stall to stall, playing games and begging coins off of her to get their butts kicked at catching fish.
A giant wooden fox sculpture had been erected in one of the larger streets, which children took turns throwing small projectiles at. Evidently, later in the night it would be burned to the ground.
'Cheery.' Regina kept a smile plastered on her face as Naruto physically pulled her around, utterly unaware that occasionally some of the more inebriated festival-goers gave him distinctly unkind looks.
Oddly enough, suddenly the tides regarding her had entirely changed. People smiled and waved, and bowed. Real low.
'All the Hokage had to do was go to bat for me and this would have been over?' She thought, lightly throwing some balls into cups at a stall. Naruto cheered in her ear, sticky fingers wrapped up in her obi. 'That's…depressing'
There had been a few lingering glances that weren't so friendly, but for the most part it seemed like Konohagakure had immediately taken their God of Shinobi at his word.
'I feel like I internally harp on this point a lot, but unaccountable dictatorships suck. Even when I'm empowered by one. I feel vaguely dirty.'
Sasuke led them imperiously to what he had determined as the best area, containing a sign-up sheet for a game.
"Flower game?" She asked, peering at the sign next to one of the friendlier office chuunin. Ameki? That sounded right. Regina gave the woman a smile. "Uh. I don't know about you, but it says it's for shinobi. I can't play."
"I'll play in your name, Rejina-hime!" a familiar voice boomed from off to her left. Sasuke immediately perked up, dropping her other hand. Naruto took the opportunity to snuggle her all by himself.
"Gai-san!" She greeted him with a genuine smile. "I'm so glad to see you."
He gave her his trademark thumbs-up and a winning grin. "And I am glad to see you, beautiful flower and new fukukage of Konoha!"
She snorted despite herself. "Don't worry too much about the title, Gai-san. I mostly do paperwork."
He winked. "You and I both know how important that paperwork is, Rejina-hime. I'm glad you're here to do it."
Then he turned to Sasuke, ruffling his hair. "Sasuke-kun has been rapidly improving in his strength training and taijutsu." He informed her with a smile. "You should be very proud."
"I'm always proud of him." Regina said easily, tangling her fingers in Naruto's hair. "I'm proud of both of them."
"Ah, Naruto-kun!" Gai held out his hand, and Naruto gave him an enthusiastic high-five. "It is good to see you as well. You've grown!"
"Are you both going to sign up for the flower game?" He asked the boys, and they nodded. "Good! Healthy competition allows us to strive for success!" He turned back to Regina. "And I promise you, Rejina-hime, that our team will be victorious!"
"I'm glad!" She said, lightly pushing Naruto between the shoulderblades to encourage him to walk up to the booth. "I hope you three have fun."
"Oh, you can come with us!" Gai beckoned. "The game is merely to seize as many flowers as possible throughout the festival- not in a certain place."
"Oh! Ok then." Regina waited while Gai helped the boys sign up, and then watched as Gai immediately and suavely snatched all the flowers from the boys who did gate guard duty.
'Lol, actually they're cute.' She realized a bit belatedly, after Hagane-san gave her a rather lascivious wink. 'Hmm. How old are they again? They look about my age…'
'A few years younger, but acceptable.' She watched them pass, and winked back.
He mouthed something, but Naruto tugged on her obi. She mouthed 'later' back, but had no idea whether he got it. She turned around.
"Let's see the dancers!" Naruto tugged- and she had the sneaking suspicion someone had snuck them more sweets. His mouth was covered in red candy slime, the kind they dipped apples and grapes and strawberries in.
"I thought I told you no more sugar." She said, and all three of them suddenly looked a bit sheepish.
"Rejina-hime, you are only young once." Gai wheedled, effectively outing himself as the one who had succumbed to their combined charms. "It is normal for children to want candy. Can we not indulge them?"
"Oh believe me, Gai-san, I indulge them." She made a motion to wipe her mouth, and Naruto dug through her purse to find a face wipe, eliminating the evidence. Sasuke's mouth was clean, but his wipe was crumpled in his hand. "But we're supposed to be going somewhere very early for Naruto's birthday tomorrow, and I don't want them to be so hyper that they stay up late."
"Very reasonable!" He said enthusiastically. "Perhaps we should let them run!"
"Not here." She said amiably. "Maybe on the way home." Regina looked at her little goblins. "On their hands. That's a shinobi thing, right, Gai-san? I see you doing that all the time."
Her sons looked betrayed, but Gai was obviously 100% sold on the idea. It was like sparks lit out of his eyes.
"That is a wonderful idea!" He clapped both boys on the back, before swerving around and snatching another paper flower from a passing Jounin. He was back in a flash, and winked at her. "We will run to your home on our hands at the end of the festival!"
"Now, Sasuke-kun. Naruto-kun. It is our solemn mission to win, steal, or sneak every flower from all the other shinobi at this festival. You two will be responsible for genin and Academy students, while I will aim for the Jounin and Chuunin." He said quite seriously. "You can challenge your opponents to games, or steal them from their person. We meet back at the booth at 21:00."
They nodded. "Got it."
Regina went to go sit down at one of the tables, and nursed a chuuhai. After a while, someone made a polite noise.
She looked up.
Yamanaka Yuina was standing there, behind her daughter.
"Would you mind if we sat with you for a time?" She asked politely, casting her eyes to the ground. "Although I'm sure Ino-chan will want to run off with her friends in a moment."
"Not right now." The little girl grumbled. "Sakura-chan is being annoying."
They both ignored that.
"Please, make yourselves comfortable." Regina gestured to the table and the deserted seats around her. "I think the boys are with Gai-san, trying to win a bunch of paper flowers."
"Ah." The corners of Yuina's mouth turned up. "A rather old game for shinobi."
"Is it." Regina took a long sip of her drink.
Yuina and her grumpy daughter took seats, and Yuina stroked her daughter's hair absentmindedly.
"I believe that I owe you an apology." Yuina said, rather quietly. "Though I did not treat you as badly as others for the past few weeks, I did not… treat you as well as I should have. I apologize for my behavior."
Regina turned to look at her. She sighed a little bit.
"Thank you for the apology." She said, contemplating the exact words to say. "It was unfortunate to feel that you no longer desired my company."
"That was not my intention, though I understand why you would feel that way." Yuina bowed her head. "It was merely… that my husband and I are bound by what the clan council decides. When the issue was raised, no one had the thought that it might go as far as it did."
'I have no idea what to think or feel about that right now.' Regina finished her drink.
"I was used as a rather specific and evidently glaring example." She said, staring out at the crowd of dancing people. "It's a bit hard to believe."
"I believe that some flames were fanned by certain members." Yuina said delicately, brushing Ino-chan's bangs out of her big blue eyes. "And so while I was interested in continuing our friendship and having playdates with our children, I was concerned that being overly friendly would cause further issues. My own husband, you see, was worried that those accusations of nepotism would fall back on him."
'He is the Intelligence department head.' Regina reasoned. 'Not that I don't think he's qualified.'
"Konoha has long relied on some degree of nepotism in its leadership." Yuina said quietly. Regina was surprised to hear a faint degree of bitterness in it. "All the Hokage are directly linked to their predecessors. Certain clans are venerated, others can be ostracized." She took a deep breath. "I am truly sorry that this squabble affected you and your sons."
"Thank you, again." Regina looked over at the stand Covert Schnapps was operating, selling more liquor. "So, where does this leave us?"
"It is entirely dependent on what you'd like to do." Yuina said easily. "If you are uncomfortable continuing our friendship, I would understand. And if you would like to continue and are able to forgive me, I promise that nothing will come in between our friendship again. I am entirely at fault." She dipped her head. "I enjoy your company and believe you are a person of compatible tastes and morals."
"You know, I feel the same about you." Regina said honestly. To her credit, Yuina hadn't technically excluded her whatsoever. It was mostly that the degree of verbal openness had changed, while Regina had been in a very stressful time. She'd still watched the boys, drank with her. She just hadn't expanded on their prior commitments. "But I do tend to require more… openness, where my friends are concerned."
"I understand." Yuina smiled gently, and Ino-chan squirmed. Yuina let her go, and she tore off to jump on Naruto's unguarded back about twenty feet away. Regina winced as the pile of children collapsed.
"Shall we try again?" Yuina asked, gesturing to the stand Regina had been eyeing. "But this time, with more honesty."
"Let's." Regina stood and walked with her back to the stand, where they ordered too many drinks to haul back in their arms, and ferried them back to their table.
They were somewhere in their fifteenth-ish game of 'never have I ever' when the children reappeared, flush with paper flowers and victory.
"They never would have won without me, kaa-san." Ino-chan said, pointing to the boys. Sasuke was panting and red-faced from exertion, and Naruto had only managed to crawl onto Regina's lap before immediately passing out.
"I'm sure you're right, darling." Yuina said, giving Regina a highly conspiratorial look.
"I feel like you two might sleep well, at least." Regina said charitably, poking Sasuke in the chest.
He grunted, and leaned into her hand, pushing it back towards her. He snuggled up to her side.
"I got a lot of them, kaa-chan." He said breathlessly. "So many."
"How did Gai-sensei do?" She asked him. He gave her tired eyes.
"He's unstoppable." He breathed, before burying his sweaty little face into her cotton yukata. "It's as if he has unlimited energy."
"I think he just trains a lot." Regina said, rubbing his back. "You two almost ready to go home?"
Sasuke nodded into her side.
Naruto snored softly in her ear.
"I think it's unanimous." She said dryly, as Yuina giggled. "Well, Yuina-san, I should get them home."
She stood slowly, lifting Naruto up carefully around her torso. "Sasuke- can you walk?"
He yawned in assent and took a gentle handful of her yukata, as she bowed and excused herself.
The festival was still going in full swing when they left, and she heard the distinct sounds of fireworks going off behind them as they reached the house. Sasuke crawled up into the genkan and lay on the floor, before slowly hauling himself into the bathrooms. She carried Naruto into the bathrooms as well, helping them both peel out of their sticky yukata and throw them into the washer.
Ikemoto-san knocked on the lounge door, and Regina answered.
"I went by your office to get your other clothes." She said, ever business-like. "Everything will be cleaned before you return in a few days." Ikemoto-san smirked a little, and Regina followed her gaze to the two boys slowly shuffling towards the bathtub. "Do you require any assistance?"
"That would be lovely, yes." Regina sighed, looking at her stained yukata and her exhausted kids. "We all need to get cleaned up and in bed as soon as possible. If you would…"
"Of course." Regina moved out of the way, and Ikemoto-san walked briskly into the room. They helped get the boys cleaned up and into the large bathtub, and then Regina ditched her outer layers in the basket by the washer to climb the stairs and venture into her own bathroom.
After she'd bathed, she put on a thick bathrobe and a moisturizing face mask, and wandered downstairs. The boys were finally in their pajamas, rubbing at their eyes.
"Bedtime snack?" She asked, and that managed to perk them up enough that they scrambled into the kitchen, where they shared a small tub of matcha ice cream at the kitchen island.
She tucked them into bed a few minutes later, watching as they passed out almost immediately.
'Must be nice.' She thought fondly, pushing Sasuke's bangs back to give him a good night kiss. 'I never get to sleep that quickly or deeply anymore. Is that adulthood?'
Naruto snored loudly from the other room, as if to attest that his sleep was damn good.
She turned out the lights, and went to her own bed, pulling the thick covers over her body and willing herself into a restful night.
Her alarm woke her up on time, and she had time to check that Ikemoto-san had repacked Naruto's luggage and put it in the genkan with Regina's and Sasuke's bags.
'I probably should have requested a shinobi escort who was less of a Debbie Downer.' She realized as they left the house and arrived at the gate, prompting the arrival of their travel companion.
Boar seemed to be in a real mood today, their body language was stiff and awkward. They were studiously pretending not to acknowledge the newly-minted nine year old crawling all over their body, getting stickiness (and HOW, he had just barely woken up) onto Boar's chestplate.
'I guess they don't spend much time with the kids, though.' She mused, as Naruto admired how coooooooool this person was. She put a suitcase near the back of the carriage that was going to ferry them out to the capital of the Land of Hot Water. The driver scrambled to put it up and tie it securely. 'Also, Naruto can be kind of an intense experience at 6 am.'
"What's the occasion?" Hagane brushed his hand over hers for just a moment too long when he handed her papers back. His partner huffed.
"A holiday sacred to my people." She said, tucking the approved papers back into her bag. "It's a tradition."
They seemed intrigued, mostly because they did not have access to her planner of appointments, which mostly included "amusement park, onsen, Naruto's birthday dinner (at the most famous ramen restaurant in Hot Water), a hair appointment, nail appointment, spa day, shopping day with onsen, spa day for recovery, then an indulgently long return trip.
"And it's Naruto-kun's birthday, so it's doubly special." She turned back to smile at him. Boar was holding him in the air by his torso as if he were a smelly radish.
"Have fun, but not too much." Hagane winked.
"Ugh- Have a great trip, Jiraiya-hime." Kamizuki shoved his friend back into the booth. "We'll see you in a few days."
'Yeah, maybe, if Boar drags me back to actually work again.' She smiled. Their driver was waiting, so she gently took Naruto from Boar's loving care and deposited him and herself into the carriage. 'It's 'treat yourself' day.'
Boar evidently decided to ride on top (for tactical advantage or avoiding being crammed into a small space with her and her two children, hard to say), and they got going.
They arrived a few hours later, pent-up with energy.
"I'm gonna ride every. Single. Ride!" Naruto crowed, nearly knocking all of them over in his haste.
"How, when you don't have money for a ticket." Regina said, feeling preemptively exhausted. "You have to wait at least a little bit."
He suddenly stood in rapt attention as she walked up to the fancy, exclusive ryokan she'd reserved to go check in.
"Boar-san, we'll check in and get cleaned up, then go to the park. Any questions?"
They shook their head, and picked up a suitcase. She grabbed another- which they quickly whisked out of her hands.
"Thank you, Boar-san." She smiled at them. "I appreciate that."
They did not comment. They never did.
She checked in, ensuring that ANBU Boar had their own room adjoining theirs- easily accessed. Then she went to unpack, cleaning herself up a little bit and re-doing her lipstick, while the boys ran frantic circles in their room, pretending to be fancy ninja again.
"Ready, Kaa-chan?" Naruto called for the fifth time. "I wanna go!"
There was an audible 'whumpf' sound as Regina assumed Sasuke tackled him to the ground.
"No fighting." She enunciated. "You know I don't like it."
"Sorry, kaa-chan." Sasuke barely sounded sorry. He must be giddy.
"Okay, fine, you win. Let's go to this amusement park, throw up a bunch, and then get ramen. Do you two have your civilian clothes on?" She asked, walking out of the bathroom and into the genkan.
They did- which was good.
"Don't forget to tie your sneakers." She cautioned. "I don't want you running around barefoot."
They rushed out of the genkan, and Boar appeared by the door. They were under a pretty thick genjutsu- she assumed. At least for today, Boar was a man.
"Ready for an afternoon of fun?" She asked wryly.
Boar shook their head, sending imaginary locks of thick black hair shaking.
"Escort me?" She asked, holding out her hand. They huffed, but held out their buff arm.
She still had no idea who Boar was, but their arms were great. 10/10.
"Off we go, into the unknown." She chirped, yanking her bodyguard down the road and to their destination. "I hope we survive."
She almost felt bad- Boar's job on this trip seemed to amount to holding her bags and staring from corners. Also letting her feel up his biceps.
"I should probably pay you more, huh." She said to him idly, as they supervised Naruto and Sasuke ramming bumper cars into each other. 'I don't even care how those got here. I can't. Aren't they gasoline or electricity operated? Why did I have to take a horse and buggy here?'
That actually elicited a small grunt from her companion.
"I mean, you can't possibly have busted your back training for years just to watch nine-year olds throw up into garbage cans and hold my purse."
Silence. But he did lean into her a little bit.
"Should I go fling myself into at least a little bit of danger? Like." She snapped her fingers. "Get a splinter. Or find a rock shinobi. I've been told they're comparable."
There was a tiny, low rumble from his throat.
'Ah. Either that's yet another genjutsu, or Boar is a dude. I am a detective.'
"Well, if we don't find one, I'm glad you came anyway. Cat is such a pill. All he does is fix his hair in any available reflections and stare."
She looked over at him. He was actually around her height.
"Please don't tell Cat that."
He lightly bumped her elbow.
"Please. Really. Don't. He's so weird." She paused.
Her stomach grumbled. "Can I bribe you with snacks? Unless you're super excited to eat ramen. I, however, would like a fistfull of yakitori sticks and enough umeshuu to knock out a horse. The spa cannot happen fast enough."
She looked over at him again. He calmly met her eyes.
"Did you want anything done, by the way?" She asked. "It seemed rude to just inform you I was getting your hair done or something. And shinobi don't seem to enjoy… extraneous touching."
He huffed.
"It's fine." He said.
"You speak! My hero." She lightly squeezed his arm. "So dreamy."
He did not dignify that with a response. Which made sense. He was a professional.
"Shall we?" She asked, gesturing with her free hand. He followed along easily enough, allowing her to guide him over to the nearest snack stand. Regina bought more than she should have, handing over a significant chunk of them to her companion.
They sat on a bench and watch Naruto and Sasuke make their way towards a rollercoaster that made her heart drop into her gut just looking at it. It was rickety and wooden, and would not have passed any safety standards that she would respect.
To be fair, no rollercoaster would ever pass her standards.
"That thing looks like an accident waiting to happen." She said lowly. Boar turned to look at her slowly, but didn't comment.
She grit her teeth as they made their way onto the ride. 'Come on.' she reprimanded herself. 'It's probably fine. You're just a very anxious person in general. But they probably maintain that thing just fine.'
They went up the first bump and she shut her eyes on instinct as they made their way down.
"They're ninja." Boar's rumble washed over her. It was calming. "They'll be fine."
She put her hand over her chest, rubbing at the pendant around her neck. "I still don't like it. I don't have to like it."
Silence. She breathed in, and out.
When she opened her eyes, Naruto and Sasuke were clambering out of the ride and rushing to the end of the line again.
'Christ, I am not built for this.' She grimaced. 'I'm gonna die of stress before they even become genin.'
Boar was watching her again. He lightly took the empty sticks out of her hands and threw them away.
By the time the boys were finished, panting and exhausted, she was more than ready to leave. Boar took point and led them to the restaurant, where he and the boys put away more bowls of ramen than Regina cared to count.
She crawled into her futon at the end of the night, listening to Naruto stack his birthday presents in piles and judge them against Sasuke's earlier. It seemed to be a great debate- even though she'd included receipts for comparison, and the shinobi equipment was all exactly the same but in different colors.
'Siblings.' She thought exhaustedly, putting earplugs into her ears and pulling her silk eyemask down over her face. 'Always the same.'