Chapter 53: I've Got a Question

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Jace's POV

I get off the plane with a nervous feeling in my gut. It'd been there for days - pretty much since I'd left mom and dad's. I know it's old fashioned, but I wanted to get Luke's permission before I asked Clary to marry me. I wasn't even sure when I was going to do it yet, or how I was going to do it, but I thought this was a good first step. I take out the piece of paper that has Clary's loopy writing on it, listing an address. I read over the line once more, even though I already have it committed to memory. Maybe this piece of paper is the real reason I'm nervous; I like Luke, and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. But if I go to this address, it could open a can of worms I may never be able to clean up. What is behind this address could make Clary hate me, or love me more. It's a gamble, and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do.

I get in a cab and head straight to Luke's house. I'd called a few days ago to let him know I was coming, and though he sounded confused, he said I was welcome. The car drops me in front of a bookshop in Brooklyn, and I get out and calm myself before heading in.

There is a girl standing behind the counter who looks around my age. As I drop my bag on the ground, she looks up to greet me, but the words get caught in her throat once she realises who I am.

"Uh, hi," I say, unsure how to go about all of this. Usually I'm so confident, but with this question weighing on my mind, I can't be sure about anything until it is answered. "Is Luke Garroway in? I… told him I'd be coming by."

"You're Jace Herondale, right?" she says so confidently that it's barely a questions.

Nonetheless, I answer, not sure what else I should do. "Oh, ah, yeah. That's me." I hold me hand out for her to shake.

"I'm Maia Roberts. And Luke's upstairs. I can let him know you're here if you want," she says, already moving away from the desk in front of her.

"Oh, that would be great, thanks," and then as an afterthought, I add, "Maia." She turns and smiles at me, before heading up a winding staircase to what I assume is an apartment above the shop.

I hear shuffling above me, and a moment later Maia starts walking down the steps, followed closely by Luke.

"Hey Jace, come on up. I was just making a pot of coffee," Luke says, gesturing up the stairs. "I'll fix you a cup."

I grab my bag and start following Luke, calling out a thank you to Maia.

Luke's apartment is small, but filled with older furniture, pictures all over the walls and a fire burning. I don't think I've ever been anywhere that felt more like a home.

"You like milk, sugar?" Luke asks from the kitchen.

"Ah... just some milk please," I call back. I gently place my bag next to the stairs and head further into the living room. When I said the house was filled with pictures, I meant every wall, with about as many frames as you could possible fit. I walk over to one wall, where I see a bunch of pictures of Clary as a kid. She's with Simon in some of them; somehow looking even geekier. In others she's with, whom I assume are her mother and brother. She's smiling in every single photo.

I hear Luke set the mugs on the coffee table, so I quickly turn to face him.

"I used to own a farm house upstate…" Luke explains, smiling at the pictures I was looking at. "We'd go up there every summer for a couple of weeks… when Clary's father wasn't home. Some of my happiest memories were made at that farm house."

"Why'd you sell it?" I ask, sitting down on the couch behind one of the mugs.

"Clary needed help with the bills. After her father died, a lot of pressure fell on her shoulders, and she was so young. So I did what I could to help. It meant I could help her if she didn't make enough in a month, or if I needed to take a couple of days of work when Jocelyn was really bad. Clary has a lot of pride, but everyone needs help sometimes; especially thirteen year old girls who just lost their father."

"Sorry I asked," I say, noticing how unhappy he looked.

Suddenly, his happy face reappears. "You didn't know. Anyway, what can I do for you Jace?"

"I need to ask you a question... " I say, trying hard to maintain eye contact.

"Go ahead," Luke says kindly.

"Well… I wanted to ask Clary… if I could have your permission," since when did I get tongue tied like this?

Luke smiles and moves a little closer to me, "I think I know what you're trying to ask. And yes; you have permission to marry Clary." I feel that nervous pit in my stomach release a little. "Not that need it. You're a good man, and she's been happier this past year since… well probably her father's funeral. I know you'll treat her right."

"Thank you, so much Luke. You have no idea how much that means to me." He gives me a bit of a confused looks, so I explain further. "I mean to have your permission, obviously… but it's also...the way Clary talks about you - the way all the guys do really, it's hard not to look up to you. The few times I've met you, you've been so warm and accepting: I guess you're the type of man I want to be when I'm older. You just seems to have this… aura of calmness and authority around you."

"Thank you for saying that Jace. But you're already a good man. And I'm sure you have some better role models closer to you."

"Not really… I kind of lucked out in the father department." When I realised what I just said, I quickly start to back track. "Not that I think of you as a father, it's just… maybe I wish my father was a little more like you…"

"I get it Jace, it's fine. Clary once told me that I'm like a man with a lot of kids, but no actual children. I'm just glad I can help you all when you need it. Not a lot of people get that honour… so if you ever need anything, give me a call." He nudges me with a small smile, "I've been told I give good advice."

"I also wanted to get your opinion on something…" I say, reaching into my pocket. "I found Clary's mothers ring once, and I have pictures of my own mothers ring, so I designed Clary a ring based off the two. I made a few alterations, but…" I open the box and show the ring to Luke.

"May I?" I asks, indicating the ring. I nod and hand over the box. He looks at the ring a little closer, and I assume he sees the inscription because he smiles, before closing the box and handing it back to me. "Clary will love it. She's never been too materialistic; she prefers things with memories attached - something that has meaning and thought behind it. She's going to love it."

"Well I've actually got one more house to visit before I have to go to work, so unfortunately I have to leave, but it as great seeing you Luke, and thank you… for everything." I say, holding my hand out for Luke.

Luke quickly shakes my hand, before pulling me in for a hug. "Thank you," he says, while still hugging me, "for everything you've done for Clary. You're lucky to have each other."

I hug him for a moment longer, before I pull back, and grab my bag. "Oh - and tell me how the big day goes," Luke says, before walking me down stairs and to a cab.

"Where to?" the driver asks.

Where to? I could just go straight to work - no one would be angry that I'm early. I take a deep breath, and recall the address I'd read a hundred times over. As we approach, my nerves begin to grow. I pull out the ring, and tell myself that I'm doing this for Clary. Maybe you're doing this to Clary. I quickly forget the thought, knowing that if I let doubt start to creep in, I'll never go through with it.

The cab pulls into a curb in front of a small house. I thank the driver and distractedly hand him a couple of notes, before getting out of the car. I hear the car leave, but I'm still staring at the front door. I could still go back. Nothing's happened yet - Luke gave me his permission. I don't really need anyone else's.

I take a deep breath before walking up to the front door and knocking. There's a moment when I consider running away, pretending I never came, when the door opens. I women open it, holding a child with green eyes the exact same shade of green as Clary's. As those eyes stare at me, I know I've done the right thing.

"Oh my God - you're Jace Herondale!" the lady exclaims, her eyes widening in shock.

"You must be Mrs Morgenstern, it's a pleasure to meet you," I say, trying to stay calm. Maybe this was a mistake.

"Why are you here?" she asks, still in shock.

"I was hoping I'd be able to speak to your husband," I say.

"How do you know Jon?" she asks. I'm about to explain, but I hear a male voice from within the house.

"Honey, who is it?" he calls.

"It's Jace Herondale," she calls back, her eyes never leaving my face.

A man I'd seen only in a few photos appears next to the women. He looks nothing like Clary, except for those goddamn eyes.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you Mr Morgenstern. I'm Jace - I was hoping I could talk to you for a little bit." I say, trying to stay calm and respectful. I know he doesn't deserve it after everything he'd done to Clary, but he was still her brother.

"Ahh sure. We'll talk outside, honey, maybe you could make us some coffee?" He says, clearly also shocked. I think his has less to do with my celebrity status, and more to do with the connection I have to a life he tried to forget.

Jon leads me to a small table and chairs that they have in the backyard, and offers me a seat.

"Is everything okay with Clary?" he asks quickly, but quietly.

"Why are you whispering? And if you thought something was wrong with Clary, why didn't you ask me before?" I know I wanted to be polite, but if what I think is true, that was about to become a lot harder. He doesn't answer the question, instead just looking at me unsettled. "She's fine. At least now she is," I say shortly. "I came here to ask you a question, but the two minutes I've spent with you has already answered it for me; I don't even have to ask you. If you don't want anything to do with Clary, then she shouldn't have to have anything to do with you."

"It's not that I don't want anything to do with her," he begins, but his wife comes into the back yard, she's carrying two coffee cups, and places them down in front of us with a big smile. I thank her, and she actually giggles. She seems to remember that her husband is sitting in front of her, and quickly leans down and whispers something to him. He excuses himself and goes into the house, slowly followed by his wife.

I look around the yard for a minute - everything dead due to the cold New York winter, before Jon returns holding his kid, who looks like they had just been crying.

"Sorry, where we?" he says, bouncing the baby on his knee.

"Oh, you were just explaining how you haven't completely abandoned your sister," I say, with as much spite as I can throw into it.

He looks at me guiltily, "it's complicated. Of course I want her in my life - she's my baby sister. But I don't think she wants me in her life after everything I did. And now I have a wife and a kid to think about..."

"Oh, you were sure thinking about them when you sold her out, weren't you?" I ask, starting to get angry. It was definitely a mistake coming here.

"Yeah, I was. I know it was a shitty thing to do, but I didn't see any other options at the time. We all have to support our families somehow," he says, trying to look strong, but I can see straight through him. The bastard is scared of me, and rightfully so. If he wasn't holding that baby as a shield, I probably already would've jumped him.

"By tearing down your existing family, apparently. Nice move with the baby shield by the way," I say, getting up ready to leave.

"This is Adele," he says, calmly. Clary's middle name. I look down at the baby, with those bright green eyes that I thought about every single day. If for nothing other than Clary's niece, I sit back down.

"Why do you deserve to be back in her life?" I ask.

He looks shocked at being asked such a straightforward question, but answers none-the-less, "I probably don't. I know I fucked up - more than once. God - I fucked up before she even left. But I'm ready to make amends. I just want to have a sister again."

"Well I can't speak for Clary; and I'm not going to tell her I came here - it's up to you to reach out to her, but I know she's made a new family. She already has brothers. So you better try goddamn hard, because she's moving on, quickly."

I get up, ready to leave again, before Jon calls out, "why'd you even come here. Just to make me feel shitty."

I take out the box from my jacket pocket, and hold it between my thumb and pointer finger. "I actually came to ask your permission to marry Clary, as her last blood relative. But now I see that blood is all that ties you two together. Your wife doesn't even know your related - so why should you get any say in the matter?"

I turn and finally leave his house, wondering the streets for a little bit before I can get a cab. It's up to me to give Clary a better family, and that all starts with one question.

Well... that was a bit of a tense chapter. I hope you enjoyed. Leave me a review to let me know what you thought! Hope you have a great week, and I'll see you at the next chapter :)