"It's been a while since we had a meal together, huh, Kid?"

I sighed and took a bite from my fish sandwich. "The downsides of being a Professor, it seems. No free time."

My dad laughed. "Heh. I can imagine… Seeing you run around these past few days has been a new experience, at least. Reminds me of when I first started as the Captain here all those years ago… Didn't know a damned thing about what I was doing."

I nodded and took a sip from my cup of juice.

After morning lectures, I invited my dad out for lunch. Well, I say invited, but it was more like I barged into his office with a pair of sandwiches and some juice.

The two of us were sitting at his desk, with his paperwork roughly tossed to the ground beside it. Not that it mattered anyway considering that he didn't do any of it.

My dad took a swig from his drink of choice, a bit of mead kept in a wooden flask, and said, "So what's this about? Not like you to be the one to ask me out to eat. Usually I'm the one who's gotta drag you out to get food."

I paused for a moment, mulling over my thoughts, and then said, "I need some life counseling, Dad."

"Life counseling?" He frowned. "Well, dunno about counseling you… but if you need advice, your old man's got plenty of tips. Especially when it comes to women."

"Great. So… What's the best way to have a date with someone?"

My dad looked at me.

I looked back.

After a moment, he shook his head. "You… Huh. I was half-joking there, but you're really asking me to give you dating advice?"

I sighed. "If I had any other person I could ask, I would, but sadly, you're the best bet."

Hanneman was smart, but he wasn't the social or forward type when it came to romance.

Manuela… well, her idea of a date tended to end with her crying in tears, so that was out.

Seteth was a widower and also out of touch with the times due to his job and true identity.

Any of the students around the monastery were terrible choices for advice, and it would also immediately get out to Hubert, which would in turn lead to Edelgard finding out, thus defeating the purpose of me asking around.

I could ask some of the mercenaries in our troop like Clark… but their idea of 'romance' usually ended with a one night stand and running as fast as they could. The only exception to that was Clark who was dumb enough to break that rule of "don't date your coworkers".

Thus, I had to resort to my dad.

…Well, in hindsight I could have asked Alois, but I hadn't seen the guy since the first day I arrived.

From what my dad kept saying, Alois was still around somewhere, but he was probably swamped with paperwork anyway, so I didn't want to bother him.

My dad sniffled and rubbed his eyes. After that, he gazed up at the ceiling and said, "Look at our kid, Iris. All grown up and asking me for dating advice…"

I rolled my eyes. "Could you stop with the melodrama?"

"Hey, your mom would really be proud right now." He paused. "…Actually, she would also be fussing over you and grilling you about everything you need to do to not mess up. And to do the opposite of what I tell you to do since I'm hardly the best-" He cut himself off, suddenly realizing what he said.

I sighed. "…Great. So you give bad dating advice too."

"Give me some credit, Kid." He took a swig from his mead and said, "I managed to get Alois shacked up, didn't I?"

"True. But that guy also got his bad puns from you. And I applaud the woman who not only put up with that but found it charming."

"What, and you think your constant teasing is any better? Being all smart like that can turn people off you know. Especially women."

I raised an eyebrow. "And who do you think I got that from?"

My dad coughed.

…Well, I suppose it wasn't entirely from him. It was something I did before I became Byleth too, so it only became more pronounced now that I was.

"Anyway," my dad said. "I'm assuming that you mean taking out the princess on a date and not some other girl."

"Obviously."

My dad held up his hands. "Hey, just gotta clarify, Kid. Gotta make sure you didn't get that bad habit of mine too."

"…Bad habit?" I frowned and then narrowed my eyes. "Don't tell me you were cheating on mom?" I paused. "…No. Rhea said that you seduced her, right? Did you have a reputation as a guy who slept around a lot before you got married, Dad?"

He coughed again. "Course not, Kid."

I shook my head and took another bite from my sandwich.

Seeing that, my dad took a bite from his as well.

I swallowed and then picked up my cup of juice, taking a deep gulp-

"Now, you said you wanted to take your wife out on a date?"

I quickly swallowed the juice and then coughed, rubbing my neck. After that, I glared at my dad.

He smiled. "What?"

I shook my head. "I'm surprised mom managed to put up with you long enough to have me."

He shrugged. "What can I say? I've got a charming personality."

"If by charming you mean corny and abrasive, then I agree."

My dad laughed. "Well, you sure inherited her sharp tongue." He paused. "You and Stella both, actually. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought your mom and I had another child." He shook his head and then narrowed his eyes. "And you still owe me an explanation about her, Kid. I've been going along with it for now and Rhea still hasn't called us all up yet, but it's only a matter of time. I'd appreciate having our stories straight before then."

"Hm?" I frowned. "Did she not get around to telling you yet?"

"She?"

I nodded. "Right. Stella. I thought she was going to tell you her story and who she really was?" I paused and then said, "I guess she didn't, huh?"

"If by story you mean that flimsy sob story about her being a brat of mine I left to some village maiden, then I guess she did. But you can't be serious about that being our cover story. Come on, Kid. I taught you better than that."

I shook my head. "Well, that's what we're working with at the moment… but I meant her real identity as Sothis."

My dad blinked.

I stared at him.

Eventually, he groaned and downed the rest of his mead in a single gulp. After that, he rummaged in his desk and pulled out a bottle sealed by a cork plug and wax. He rummaged around in his desk again and pulled out a letter opener. With that, he stood up, pointed the bottle to the side, and in one swing, cut off the top of the bottle.

A strong waft of alcohol filled the air. And straight alcohol at that, not wine or some other low proof drink. No, what was in that bottle had to have been something like everclear, over 90% alcohol.

He stared at the bottle for a bit and then filled his cup. That done, he set the bottle down and took another long swig before sighing. "That's better. Now, what was that you were saying, Kid? Something about your sister being the literal progenitor goddess of Fodlan?"

I slowly nodded. "That's right… And why do you have a bottle of concentrated alcohol in your desk?"

"On the record, it's an emergency substitute for vulneraries and elixirs. Off the record… it's headache medicine. This damn thing's the only drink that can get me anywhere close to tipsy. And goddammit I'm going to be tipsy if I'm going to have to deal with surprises like that."

I frowned. "And you don't think that's a bad example to set?"

"Hah! I'm a walking example of what not to do, Kid. Half the time I think it's a miracle that I managed to get you past your diaper years. The fact that you grew old enough to even go and bang the future Adrestrian Emperor… Gotta say, it's my proudest accomplishment yet."

I flushed and said, "I'm not banging- I mean, I'm not… Edelgard and I aren't doing that, alright?"

"Eh?" My dad leaned over and tilted his head to the side, digging earwax out of his ear with his index finger. "Could you say that again, Kid? Cause I think I just heard you say that you aren't banging the beautiful young princess that's head over heels in love with you. And after I gave you part two of the birds and the bees too."

I sighed and took another bite from my sandwich. "Not everyone is as focused on those sorts of things as you are, Dad."

"Aw, come on, Kid." My dad leaned over his desk and said, "Don't tell me you haven't at least thought about it. Your wife's young, beautiful, quirky, and can barely stand to be away from you. I bet if you asked her, she'd do aaall kinds of things."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "…You're drunk."

"Wha? Psh." My dad took another swig from his cup and said, "I'm just a bit tipsy, Kid. It'll take a lot more than just a bit of that stuff to send me under the table."

I nodded. "Then I'll amend my words. You're shameless."

"You don't need to be so stuck up about it, Kid. Banging is a completely natural thing to want to do. Least that's what Iris told me. Something or another about Seiros saying that people should be free to pursue love and in all forms and actions…"

Well… That explained a lot about Rhea, at least. And why the only same-sex pairings seemed to involve people who were originally from the Empire, since they were the ones closest to Seiros…

My dad laughed, and then a goofy grin settled on his face. "Heh, the things your mother wanted to do. You wouldn't ever think she was a holy maiden with how she-"

"And that's officially too much information." I shook my head and said, "Could we get back to the main topic, Dad?"

"What? Dating advice? Take her back to your room and just bang her already."

"Dad."

He shook his head. "Fine, fine. What a prude… I knew I should have had Clark take you to the red light district when we passed Enbarr on your eighteenth birthday."

"Dad."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Alright, Kid. Shoot. What's got your pants in a bunch? Edelgard's already head over heels for you… and probably willing to do a lot more than that to if you ask her. Why are you so worried about taking her out on a date?"

"First of all, stop trying to convince me to get intimate with Edelgard. Second of all… It's our first date. Of course I'm worried. I already messed up the proposal and the first kiss, so I can't mess this up too."

The proposal was self-explanatory. It was never a good idea to just pop the question on someone without any preparation, as I quickly learned after my Edelgard fainted from being overwhelmed by emotions.

As for the kiss… I let her take the lead, and it was more to convince her then to show that I loved her.

I'm sure she didn't mind. Edelgard wasn't the type of woman to get hung up over things like that so long as she knew that she was loved. But still, I wanted to make it at least somewhat special.

"Hm… You've got a point there, Kid. Even I knew better than to just pop the question on your mom out of the blue. And… you messed up your first kiss too? What did you do, cut her lips against your teeth or something?"

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Dad. I'm not that dense."

"Could have fooled me. Never seen you even think about rubbing one out to a girl or a guy."

I groaned.

"Also… didn't it take me dying in the future to get your butt into gear to choose a girl to marry?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't joke about that, Dad."

"…Right." He sighed. "Sorry, Kid. I forget sometimes that you actually lived through it. But anyway, a proper date, huh? Well, I guess you could always do what I did for your mom when I wanted to pop the question."

"Hm?"

"You see…"

Author's Notes:

We're on chapter 69. What did you expect?

A bit of a shorter chapter. I'm running behind on some projects, so there might not be a chapter until the day after tomorrow. Just a head's up.

Anyway, some bonding time between Byleth and Jeralt.

Hope it was enjoyable! I wish I had the time to expand on it, but such is life.

Thanks for reading and leaving your input!

Also, to that one guest reviewer who was relieved I took a break to relax, thanks for your concern! I'm touched that you're so thoughtful of my health. I'll do my best to make sure to not go overboard and take breaks when I need them.

See you soon!