Author's Note: This concludes the Invaluable Commodities arc. I want to dedicate this chapter to an amazing long-time reader of mine: FlightOfThePhoenix83. They have been reading this series all the way from Chapter One and have left some of the loveliest reviews I've ever received. I know they're in the middle of exams right now, but this chapter's all for you! Thanks for supporting my creative ramblings and I hope you enjoy your winter holiday!

...

'Maybe Hizashi's wrong; maybe karma does exist.' Either that or Kazusa had a sense of humor. It was all Fugaku could do to keep a straight face the moment he realized which KMPF officer reported for security duty at Danzō's home. If the Shimura man was convinced Fugaku was an insubordinate little shit, he'd clearly never met Sanjo.

"I already met the ANBU operative working this detail with me, sir," Sanjo announced with a polite, proper salute. "I know the guy behind the mask. Hideaki's my–"

"Sparrow," the blonde in the mask hissed, tapping Sanjo's foot with his ankle. "My mask's on, you fucking asshole. Don't call me by my name when I'm wearing the mask. It defeats the whole purpose of anonymity!"

This was going to be problematic on so many levels. First, Fugaku was surprised that Yamanaka Hideaki was still on active duty, considering the MIA stunt he pulled a couple of years ago. Secondly, Hideaki betrayed Sanjo more times than anyone wanted to count. Sanjo swore it was all a misunderstanding and the two were still best friends, but Fugaku had concerns.

"They won't work well together," he whispered to Danzō. "They're former teammates." He heard a faint groan leave the Shimura man's lips. Danzō was exasperated, but too tired to do much more than groan about it.

"Gentlemen, the security of my home depends on you to cooperate together. Sanjo, was it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Sanjo, don't let…ahem…Sparrow out of your sight. You two need to track this thief and take him out quickly. You're here to make sure Sparrow doesn't get caught in a genjutsu. Now…" He moved to turn out every light in the house. "It's two in the morning. No one in their right mind should be up at this hour. Find a place to hide in the shadows and stay quiet."

Fugaku felt a cold hand touch his arm, dragging him into another room. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark and he realized it was Danzō's bedroom, he tensed up. "What are you–"

"I can't afford to be hit with a genjutsu, either," Danzō whispered in his ear. "Those young men may be guarding my collection, but you're guarding me." But he saw the remaining hesitance on the teenager's face and rolled his eyes. "Just find a place to hide and be on guard. It's not like you need to get in the bed with me."

He'd do more than that. Fugaku planned to keep his eyes peeled for updates in the notebook, wondering how long it would be before Tohru arrived.

…

More than once, Tohru found himself turning his head to gauge Itsuki's continued interest in the contraband scrolls. The Yugakure thief grinned as though he were planning a sweet reunion with a long lost lover. He hummed a silly ditty for a while, at least until he saw masked figures and a police presence crawling around the city like ants. Quietly, he flagged Tohru to pull into a dark alley with him because he had to take a piss.

"I'm so glad it's Danzō we're gonna rob," the thief confessed. He made a game out of shooting his urine straight into a trash can. The liquid made a metallic sound as it hit the edge, but not enough noise to alert the nearby law enforcement. "I've been itching to pay that son of a bitch back for all the headaches he's caused me." Although Itsuki would probably call him a little fruit for glancing down, Tohru couldn't help but notice a pair of ugly burn scars wrapped around the thief's wrists. "Admiring my ruby bracelets, boy?"

"Sorry, I–"

"Naw, it's alright. They're a souvenir from my last trip to this village. Fuckin' Danzō and Torifu told me if I showed my face in Konoha again, they'd know exactly where to hack my hands off. Lots of thieves have these marks."

"That does sounds like something Danzō-sama would do." Tohru leaned against the building and quickly wrote a line in the notebook, telling his team how long he suspected the trip by foot to the Shimura District would take.

We're coming. You're clear to leave your posts and meet at the Shimura District. Help me take him down. If you can't find us, alert the KMPF. He keeps knocking out the ANBU.

But he had an opportunity here. Tohru had read about how to perform a choke hold before. Itsuki was right there, literally caught with his pants down. 'I can do this myself,' he thought, heart starting to pound heavily. 'I can! All I have to do is–'

"Tohru?"

"Hm?" The hand went down.

The thief turned to face him with a wide grin and big, crazy-looking eyes. "For your sake, I hope you're not fucking with me. If I find out the goods are a bust or this is a trap, your ass is grass."

…

I know where Danzō lives. Meet me at the eastern gate and I'll show you where to go from there. - Mikuro

Oh, thank the gods! It was finally time to leave Homura-sama's estate! Mitsumi put her reading glasses away, reached for a quick snack from her travel bag, and sprung into action. She caught sight of KMPF and ANBU operatives patrolling the village side by side. For each masked figure, an Uchiha officer stood beside them.

A smile spread on Mitsumi's face, leaving her with a warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside. In the past, Fugaku made it sound like there was growing animosity between the two factions, with the KMPF oftentimes accusing the ANBU of quashing their investigations and turning certain cases into turf disputes.

That appeared to be halted, considering how these uniformed people seemed to be talking to each other. She couldn't pick up any animosity at all. "Sarani-san!" Mitsumi called out, catching sight of Fugaku's father chatting with a large pink-haired man in an ox mask. "Good evening!"

Uchiha Sarani squinted beneath his glasses for a moment. Once he recognized the girl in the yellow coat, he laughed and gave her a polite bow. "Good evening to you, too, Mitsumi-chan. Did Homura-sama relieve you?"

"No, but my squad leader did!" She pointed to her notebook, holding her head high in pride. "I need to meet the group at Danzō-sama's estate." Things were about to get interesting. She could feel it!

"Will you need an escort?" the masked man inquired.

"I'll have one soon enough, thanks. Don't let me keep you guys. I hope you catch the thief!" The man waved goodbye and went back to talking to his masked associates. 'I'm coming, boys! Don't start the party without me!'

…

"Leaving so soon, Mikuro?" the Hokage cracked a smirk as Mikuro's mouth opened to give an apology. "There's no need for that. I'm guessing somebody on your squad caught a lead."

"Yes, sir." He put on his shoes with no delay. "Tohru found him. Fugaku or I could probably handle this without backup. Maybe Mitsumi," if she wasn't so horribly out of practice. "But Tohru's a civilian. I can't let him fly solo on this. It's too dangerous!"

"He's lucky to have a friend who cares as much as you do." The Hokage bit back a laugh when the boy swatted at the air to make the nice words go away. It didn't work. "There's nothing in the world more important than having a best friend willing to watch your back at all times. Take Danzō, for instance. He's done such a good job that I'll probably be the first kage in shinobi history to retire!"

"No hard feelings if I duck out to join my squad, then?"

"No, no. Go on ahead! I…" The Hokage yawned and stretched. "Biwako and I shouldn't have stayed up this late, anyway. I'm taking what's left of the night to rest up so I won't be useless tomorrow. Just be careful out there, alright?"

"Sir, I'm always careful," Mikuro grumbled and darted out into the shadows. Just as Mitsumi wrote when she reached a checkpoint, there were military police and black ops everywhere.

…

"Hey. Give me one of those." Hideaki held out his hand expectantly for a cigarette the instant Sanjo whipped out the pack. "It's been a long-ass night."

"I'm only giving you one because I want to see if you can smoke it through that stupid bird mask." Sanjo handed over a cancer stick and lit the edge for the masked Yamanaka. "I never thought I'd work side by side with you again, H."

"Right back at ya, S," Hideaki confessed, stifling a yawn. "I'm not complaining. ANBU's a drag. I can't find any joy in it. I really miss you, man."

"Quit, then. They'd probably jump for joy if you transferred to Torture & Interrogation." Sanjo could only sympathize to an extent. "I mean, fuck. It's not like you're me. This KMPF gig is for life and the best the village will ever let my clan do. You can walk out of ANBU whenever you want." He couldn't read his friend's face this time, not with the porcelain blocking the view.

'Hideaki…what's really eating at you? What gives you the shakes at night? What did you see out there that turned you off your old dream?'

When they were Fugaku's age, Hideaki wanted to get into ANBU and was thrilled beyond belief when Danzō accepted his application. He wasn't the same guy anymore. Hideaki was a shell. A husk. His hand even shook with the cigarette.

"It's a fucked up world, Sanjo. I've done things that make me wonder if I can still call myself human. Do you have any idea what it is we're guarding in that collection? Did you see it?"

Sanjo cuffed the blonde's shoulder, privately smirking when he heard a grunt leave Hideaki's lips. "I don't have a search warrant. I'm not gonna ask because it's outside the scope of the mission. Am I better off not knowing?" Hideaki nodded. "Yeah. That's what I thought. Thanks, bird boy."

Hideaki was about to say something else, but then he froze in place. "Shit!" he hissed. "We're about to be a crowded house." He tapped Sanjo on the shoulder and dragged him away from the building. When Sanjo asked what was going on, Hideaki merely placed his hand over his friend's mouth and urged him to hide deep in the shadows.

The thief was coming. He could sense it…along with three other minds.

…

Mitsumi crouched beside Mikuro, doing all she could to remain hidden. She'd even ditched the sunshine yellow coat because it was too conspicuous. Beneath, she'd worn a dark gray ensemble to better blend in with the surroundings.

'Smart girl,' Mikuro thought with a smile on his face. He peeked through his binoculars and nudged Mitsumi to look in the same direction.

"There's no point, Mikuro. My eyes are bad, especially at night."

"Itsuki's here," he whispered. "I don't know what I expected," but it definitely wasn't that smarmy-looking son of a bitch holding his friend hostage. "Not this, though. I'm wondering how someone this goddamn tacky could go undetected in our village for this long. It has to be sheer dumb luck."

"Should we let the ANBU handle this?" Mitsumi asked. "Before I found you, I saw him knock out a few people without ever having to touch them. Watch."

Itsuki held up a gloved hand and waved it as though he were merely a friendly tourist wandering about in the dead of night. Time and again, the masked figures—which he seemed to be picking off intentionally when the KMPF weren't nearby—hit the ground as though they fainted. One woman even fell face first, shattering her porcelain mask when she hit the pavement.

"So that's how he does it…" Suddenly, it made a lot more sense. 'I get it now! There's some kind of seal on his glove!' And one by one, more masked figures hit the ground. Mikuro yawned, feeling his own eyes grow heavy. "It's the glove. It's…" Another yawn. "…son of a bitch…"

"Snap out of it!" Mitsumi hissed, shaking the Shimura boy by the shoulders. It didn't work. This wasn't a regular sleep and never in her life had she been so glad to have bad eyesight. "Mikuro! Hey!" But he was growing limper and groggier by the second, slouching over. "Kai!" It was a basic release. "Hey! Sleeping Beauty!" At least he opened an eye again, but not fast enough. "Wake uuuuuup!"

"No, no. Let him sleep." The girl froze in terror when she realized this wasn't a voice she recognized. It had to be the thief! Who else would want Mikuro to rest? "Shit. I figured this would be a trap. Don't think too ill of me, girly. I ain't such a bad guy once ya get to know me."

"…glove…" Mikuro remained awake long enough to say something was up with Itsuki's hand. In a split decision, Mitsumi chose to take off her glasses. Everything was a terrible blur and she could barely make out faces without them, but it seemed to save her from the genjutsu.

"The fuck? Why are you still awake!?"

"It's a seal on the fabric, isn't it?" Mitsumi asked, pointing. "If I could actually see it, I'm sure I'd be on the ground like my friend." The girl got to her feet, readied her hands into fists, and smirked. "Lucky me. My eyes are terrible, but I can still see your blur well enough to tell you apart from my friends. Hello, Itsuki-san."

She wouldn't be able to get too many strikes in, considering she was out of practice and Mikuro was out like a light, but she could drag this fight closer to Danzō's home and give Tohru a chance to run. "You're a ninja, aren't you?" she growled. "Fight me!"

"This seems all kinds of unfair, kid. Don't make me feel any worse about beating up a blind kid than I already–"

"Hyaaaaaah!"

Itsuki caught Mitsumi's foot in mid-kick, knocking her to the ground. "Okay. Fine. You know what? Fuck that and fuck you. I ain't got time for–aw, fuck…"

The whole night, he'd tried to avoid the Uchiha Clan at all costs. Despite that, Itsuki came face to face with a shaggy-haired young man with a three-tomoe sharingan staring him down. The KMPF officer grinned from ear to ear. "There's nowhere to run, motherfucker. We've got you."

…

"Let GO of me! Nnnnnnnnngh!" Itsuki wriggled like a worm beneath the Yamanaka/Uchiha duo. Hideaki sat on him as Sanjo slapped handcuffs to the man's wrists. For added measure, Hideaki peeled off the gloves and put them in an evidence bag for the KMPF. "You sons of bitches! I was so close!"

"It's almost like watching a kid throw a tantrum in time out. Isn't it Sanjo?" Hideaki commented as he tightened the grip for his police partner. He pressed his knee on the man's spine, just for added measure. "And stay down. You got that, thief?"

"TOHRU!" Itsuki roared. "TOOOOOOOOOOOHRU, YOU LITTLE SACK OF SHIT! You LIED, didn't you?!" His eyes went straight for the Utatane boy, glaring daggers. "WHAT THE FUCK, KID?! I thought you wanted a chance to get outta here and–"

"I did," Tohru confessed, "but I'll be the judge of how and when that happens. I might not be happy with my role, but I don't hate my village enough to let someone like you steal our most invaluable commodities."

For the first time in his life, Tohru felt like a hero. They apprehended the thief, he'd been convincing enough to lure this man into a trap, and now there was only one last thing he needed to tend to: the valuables themselves. "Where is your storage scroll, Itsuki? If you hand it over to me without any struggle, then maybe they won't upgrade your ruby bracelets."

"Ruby bracelets? What's he talking about?" Fugaku whispered to Mikuro. Between wiping the sleep from his eyes, Mikuro pointed at the red scars on Itsuki's wrists. He then pantomimed what they were intended for by holding out one arm and using his other to mock karate-chop the wrist. "…oh."

"FUCK YOU, TOHRU!" Itsuki roared. "I'M NOT HANDING 'EM OVER! THREATEN ME ALL YOU LIKE! YOU AIN'T DANZŌ! YOU AIN'T THE HOKAGE! YOU AIN'T EVEN A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN' NINJA! YOU'RE JUST A SAD LITTLE BOY WITH A HOT MOM AND A–"

Hideaki let loose a groan and turned to face Sanjo, mask still on. It made it where no one present could tell he was joking. "I know where this is going," the ANBU operative commented. "I guess there's no other choice. We'll need to perform a strip search."

"Here's hoping you're an exhibitionist, champ!" Sanjo jeered, patting down the back of the thief's trousers. "Three teenage boys, a teenage girl, a fuck ton of sleep-deprived police officers, a couple of ANBU who are pretty fucking pissed you knocked 'em out…and Danzō, assuming he's still awake. You're–"

"IT'S IN THE BAG, OKAY!?" Itsuki shrieked. Then it became a question of who had authorization to open the bag: the ANBU, or the KMPF? Within mere moments, the proverbial territorial pissings began.

The items were classified with only those at the highest clearance level being permitted to see the contents. The ANBU reported directly to the Hokage and his Council. Therefore, the bag was ANBU property.

A crime had been committed: a crime the ANBU were unable to stop without police assistance. Itsuki was to be tried, found guilty, booked, and locked away under Uchiha supervision. Therefore, the bag was KMPF evidence.

Fugaku made a move for it. Mikuro stopped him. Sanjo and Hideaki did the same thing. Everything escalated until Danzō stepped out of the house and gestured for Tohru to hand over the entire bag.

Danzō's clearance was only one tier below the Hokage's, meaning his authority trumped them all. He opened the scroll, glanced briefly over the contents, and nodded. "This is what we need from him. Take that piece of trash out of my sight. There's no point in even giving him a trial. We caught him in the act. Tohru?" The boy glanced up, as did his team. "Your mission is over. I'll return everything to Archives after I verify the status of the stolen items. Go get some sleep."

Tohru saluted, feeling tall and proud. As soon as the door closed to the Shimura man's estate, Tohru pulled all three of his friends in for a tight hug. "You hear that? We did it! Mission accomplished!" He noted the way Mikuro kept averting his gaze. He only did that when he felt embarrassed. Considering even high level ANBU were knocked out by Itsuki's gloves, Tohru felt his friend had nothing to feel ashamed of. "We're heroes, all of us! Fugaku, you–"

"I honestly didn't do much more than keep an eye on Danzō," Fugaku confessed, smirking. "Tohru, you drove this mission. It…it actually felt nice to sit back and let somebody else drive for once. You were great."

Did Fugaku realize how much those words meant? That sort of praise from the top student of their graduating class meant the world to Tohru! His heart was touched.

Something had reignited in Mitsumi, too. This was the most alive Tohru had felt since he and his friends went their separate ways. "I know it's an ungodly hour. We probably all need to catch up on our sleep and rest. Mikuro, did you want to spend the night at my–"

"Sorry. I can't. I made a promise to somebody that I'd have time for him tomorrow and I sleep better in my own room."

'Right. The Hyūga heir…' Mikuro made a comment earlier about spending time with Hiashi and getting to know him. Tomorrow, Tohru supposed, would be as good a day as any. While he was mildly disappointed with Mikuro, he wasn't surprised.

Mikuro pulled himself out of the hug, patted Tohru's back, and smiled at him. "But you were really something tonight. Don't let my absence detract from your victory. I'll make it up to you later."

"I know you will." Mikuro was a lot of things, but he wasn't a liar. As he walked deeper into the district, making his way to his own house, Mikuro only turned to look back once. A faint, barely noticeable smile made it briefly to his lips, and then he turned away.

"What about lunch tomorrow?" Mitsumi asked, nudging Tohru. "I want to hear all about how you outsmarted that thief. Between that, the seals on the notebooks, and everything else? You'll have one heck of a story to tell!"

"Lunch sounds great! Fugaku?" The Uchiha boy turned to face him. Already, Tohru's heart felt heavy because he already knew how this conversation would end. "I know you probably have plans for tomorrow with Hizashi…" And there it was: a somber shadow snuffed out what small amount of light resided in Fugaku's eyes. "You can invite him," Tohru offered, "if you want. I don't know him that well, but–"

He felt a strong arm squeeze around him. Mitsumi felt the same to Fugaku's right. "I'll make time for Hizashi later," Fugaku decided, but he wasn't able to hide the faint trace of guilt in his voice. "Tomorrow is your day, Tohru. I realized I've been pretty bad about keeping in touch with you and Shinohara. I don't want to do that to you anymore," or to Hizashi.

"Sushi, then?" Mitsumi asked eagerly.

"No." Tohru shook his head. "I've had my fair share of sushi this month. Any complaints if we go out for barbecue instead? There's this place Neyuki and Mikuro keep talking about that I've been wanting to try…"

…

They were gone. Sparrow escorted Uchiha Sanjo out. The KMPF returned to the Uchiha District without any dispute, considering the order to disperse came from a man second only to the Hokage. Word wouldn't get out about this, not outside the village. The last thing Konohagakure needed were more Itsukis running around, thinking the private collections of the council and the village Archives were fair game.

Utatane Tohru, clever boy that he was, had done well tonight. There probably weren't that many shinobi who could have kept up the lie for that long or so convincingly. 'He really is your son, Koharu,' Danzō thought to himself, watching as the boy held his head high and marched off with his little friends. 'But that doesn't mean you need to hear about any of this.'

Indoors, away from prying eyes, Danzō opened the scroll and proceeded to walk down the stairs to his subterranean collection. Entire bodies were held in suspended animation. Other body parts levitated in jars of preservation fluid. Scrolls upon scrolls, almost all marked in Tobirama's red script as Do Not Attempt, sat upon the racks. So, too, were new ones in a different font.

His…and Orochimaru's.

He reached for a pair of reading glasses, if only because it was the middle of the night and he always kept it dim downstairs due to the sensitivity of his collection. 'What all did you manage to steal, Itsuki? Let's see the full extent.'

What Danzō saw left him shocked. He had no idea the idiot would have so much! "Oh my god…" His nails dug into the edge of the parchment until he touched the ink and performed the release seal for one item. There it was: the cell culture that started it all. Some things, he supposed…

….some things were better off being listed as lost in transit.