A/N: Guess who passed their finals? This girl! (Even though I *cough* accidentally *cough* submitted one of them late. Hooray for online classes, am I right?) Which means I'm finally on break until February 6th… kind of. My mom- who recently quit her job a month or two ago- finally got a new job, so that means I might need to help with babysitting my niece and nephew (since they're not the biggest fans of my aunt as of yet, they're kinda scared of her). Hopefully, it's not as stressful as I imagine it's going to be… Hopefully.
Anyways, the chapter! It's almost time for our Forestclan friends to take their next trial, so that's exciting. Let's see what shenanigans we can get ourselves into.
Reviews
silhouette amongst stars- Thank you! It was a bit difficult having to write for the last chapter, I'm not entirely sure why (maybe because it was a week late, so I hadn't written in a while before that). I did enjoy writing it though, especially the part with Flare discovering who she is and such. Lol, I was originally going to write it as "I challenge you, Wildfire" but then… well, the wording of it is important. I leave it up to you to discover why. But yeah, especially because I both watch and play Pokemon, it was kinda funny putting that line in. I'm just building up to that future chapter of Wildfire's backstory, don't mind me XD. I say future because, uh… it's gonna be a while. But it will come eventually! Ooh, I listened to the song and I actually really really liked it (loved it actually, I kinda wanna buy it now to have on my phone). Surprising, really, because I normally don't like music of that genre. Hmm, makes me think of a question for today's chapter. XD Well, that's one way to escape an awkward situation. I wonder where I can buy smoke bombs.
Blazefeather44- Was it? I didn't notice haha (and is that a bad thing?) Aww, I hope you can get your tablet fixed, I hate when my things, especially expensive important things, break. It's all good, reviews of any length are appreciated.
Critic 101 (Guest)- Hello and thank you for reading! Hmm, you are right that I've never seem to do that. To me, it seems mildly unimportant in the face of everything else going on. I'll consider adding these miscellaneous actions, we'll see though. Thanks for the suggestion! And no; each chapter is not one day. I try to include some sort of time change or hint on if its the same day or the next day or not. Sometimes two or more chapters will be from the same day, just different times, or there would have been a time-skip. Sorry if it gets confusing, but to answer your question; no, each chapter is not one day and it does not take 30 chapters to get through a whole moon. You weren't mean at all! It's not often people leave constructive criticism for me to read. Thanks for reading and enjoying the story!
Acwarriors11 (Guest)- Are you sure about that? XD
Thanks to everybody who reviewed! (So close to 800… wow. I'm speechless.)
Let's get started!
…
Forestclan
…
"The day we've been waiting for is almost here, Cherrypaw…"
"Aww, is that nervousness I here in your voice Oak?"
The brown-furred tom scoffed indignantly, a usual scowl formed on his face as he chanced a glance to the breathtaking apprentice soaking in a ray of sunlight. Bramblepaw, though he wouldn't admit it out loud nor to himself (what with everyone virtually celebrating the near-end of Leaf-bare), was saddened at the thought that the snow would soon be gone. Perhaps that was his inner-kit talking, the side of him that adored the snowflakes and chilling crystals.
That side of him had no place in this world. Maybe it was for the best that Leaf-bare was almost over.
"Why would I be nervous?" He puffed out his chest, broad shoulders straightened as he raised his chin. "You act as though there's a possibility I can lose."
"Careful there, before you speak that possibility into existence." The black and grey she-cat turned lazily onto her back, icy blue eyes closed in relaxation as she let out a purring sigh. "And I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you Oak. As marvelous as you are," a cheeky grin appeared on her face at his deepening scowl, "don't forget that this is a quite challenging trial for us."
"What? Cherrypaw admitting that something might be a challenge for perfect little her?" Bramblepaw blinked his eyes innocently as he cackled. "Never that I'd live to see the day."
Perfect. Unbeknownst to the tom a few tail-lengths away, a frown erased the smile that had been on her face, ears flicking back and flattening for only a few short moments before she forced them up once more. That's right. I'm perfect.
Nothing else matters.
"Unlike you, my ego isn't blinding me from the reality of our situation." No, there was too much bite in her voice. She had to restrain herself. Taking in a deep breath, Cherrypaw let out a small chuckle as she shook her head, rolling onto her stomach once more and lifting her head to look in his direction. If Bramblepaw had been hurt by her words, there was no indication evident on his face. "Whether I like to admit it or not, Leafstar will be a problem."
"Tch, yeah right," Bramblepaw rolled his eyes, disbelieving. "Everyone knows she only got the position of Grand Royal because she was the only choice. If the massacre hadn't happened, Badgerpaw would've won it."
"You only say him because he was your ancestor." She was quick to point out with a flat expression.
Bramblepaw's fur bristled as he let out a frustrated growl, stomping one of his paws against the snow- the sound muffled by the crystallized water. "And it's true regardless! Leafstar may be a good tactician, a great one at that, but she's not invincible. She has her weaknesses, I just… haven't figured them out yet."
Cherrypaw, for once, listened quietly instead of butting in with her own remarks. More than once, the two of them had vocally proclaimed their disdain for the current Grand Royal apprentice- Bramblepaw more than Cherrypaw, most often than not. Secretly, the she-cat would always have some sort of idolization to the leader.
The masterful tactician of the forest, humbly choosing the route of peace instead of deciding to take over all of the clans (cause knowing Leafstar, it probably wouldn't take her long to come up with a plan to do just that if she really wanted to). Coming up with tactics to win any battle, creating something out of whatever was available to her.
Making the most difficult decisions, not for the good of herself, not just for the good of Forestclan either, but for the good of all of the clans.
At one point in her life, Cherrypaw had wanted to be just like Leafstar. Brave, powerful, and dangerously intelligent. But back then, she had been blinded by admiration and now, the Grand Royal didn't seem as grand as she once was.
Why aim for being like Leafstar if I can surpass her?
Leafstar isn't perfect, and I aim for perfection.
"Cherrypaw?" The she-cat blinked, ear twitching as she turned her gaze to the tom who was looking at her with a raised brow. "You blanked out on me for a second there. What are you thinking about?"
How much of a naive fool I was as a kit. But she couldn't say that, obviously.
Cherrypaw had a reputation to uphold (however nasty it may have become over time).
"Berrypaw."
Predictably, Bramblepaw's nose wrinkled, lips curling back distastefully. Good, talking about their last remaining "rival" always distracted him. The tom sure enjoyed hearing his own voice as he ranted. It wasn't difficult to find something to create that look of disgust on the tom's face- Cherrypaw found it quite funny how long the list was by now.
"Why are you thinking about her?"
Casually, the she-cat shrugged as she set about cleaning one of her paws, mostly to distract herself and ground her ever-wandering thoughts. Dangerous; that's what thinking too deeply was for her. Hadn't she learned her lesson long ago?
Apparently, not.
"Just… you know. After this trial is over, because there's no possible way for her to beat either of us, we'll be done with her. She'll be placed with the label of Cripple, and that'll be that. We wanted her out of the way, and now, we'll finally get what we wished for."
"Exactly! Why do you not sound excited about that?" Bramblepaw narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, head tilting ever-so-slightly in the way it normally does when he's looking for something. Cherrypaw, admittedly, hated when it was directed at her. She was a great liar, she was raised by one after all, and she knew how to hide her secrets.
She had to, because the secrets she carried…
Stars, save her.
"Are you… having second thoughts-"
"No!" Cherrypaw snapped before he could finish, ears falling flat as she turned a heated glare in his direction. "Berrypaw deserved this after tarnishing the Forestclan name," oh how it sounded like she had rehearsed those words, "and that's one less obstacle for us to worry about to becoming a Grand Royal."
"Why do I feel like there's a but there somewhere?" Bramblepaw glowered at her suspiciously, tail flicking against the snowy ground.
"There isn't," she grounded out before turning sharply away, "you're making assumptions based on nothing."
A beat of silence passed between the two before the tom took in a deep breath. Something clearly wasn't right. After all this time, after all the risks they've taken to go out of their way to get Berrypaw out of the running, the she-cat didn't look as happy as he expected her to be. Why the sudden change of heart?
They were so close to taking their next trial to determine who would stay in the running for Grand Royal, the entire clan would be cheering for them and their parents would-
"Oh." He murmured, and the she-cat felt the fur along her spine begin to bristle at the… sympathy in his voice. Cherrypaw glanced in his direction and- yup; there was that sad expression on his face. One would expect Bramblepaw to know only how to pity others, in nothing more than a negative light, but the tom was actually very caring towards his clanmates. Well… at least the ones he deemed worthy. "I get where this is coming from."
No, you don't. So just shut up and-
"Has it really been that long since she's been gone?"
"I don't want to talk about this," the she-cat stood up abruptly, stray snow clinging to her long pelt that she shook away violently. A flame crafted by the coldest of ice withered down on him, and Bramblepaw almost regretted ever bringing it up. Almost. He had nearly forgotten what a truly angry Cherrypaw looked like. "We're not talking about this."
"I'm only trying to look out for you-"
"I don't need anyone looking out for me," she hissed, ears falling flat and- stop. She needed to rein herself in. It wasn't often Cherrypaw couldn't control her emotions. In fact, if she did say so herself, she was a master manipulator of them. At least, when it came to others. For herself? Well…
It was a simple, very long game of pretend.
Pretend that she was in control of everything; herself, her surroundings, those around her.
Pretend that she was this shrewd, dominant, unforgiving cat that she made herself out to be.
Pretend it didn't hurt that she had no one to turn to. No real friends to call her own and talk to because the only two friends she ever had either abandoned her or went and got themselves killed in a fire.
Bramblepaw wasn't a friend, he was nothing more than a mindless minion vying for the title of Grand Royal, even though it was practically hers already. Flarepaw wasn't a friend, she was an enemy from another clan. Berrypaw wasn't a friend, she was a rival.
Her life was a very long game of pretend, and for a while, she had gotten good at it. She knew the rules, she made them herself. Smile and look pretty, bring unnecessary attention to her looks while taking advantage of others in their distraction. She had grown comfortable in her web of lies, trapping everyone in silky falsities of the truth and unreal promises of their greatest desires. Cherrypaw was a spider in a world of flies and lesser insects, she had to be. A spider didn't need anything else but the joy of the hunt.
"I don't need anyone looking out for me," she repeated in a careful voice, one more confident than before, more polished and alluring and entirely her. Yes, this was her. Perfect little Cherrypaw. She was perfect. "I do just fine on my own, thank you very much."
Bramblepaw wasn't entirely convinced, eyes narrowing once more in suspicion as they trailed up and down her body, looking carefully at her smiling face, for any sign of falsitivity. All of it, a small, lesser part of her mind whispered in a meek voice. All of it is fake.
This isn't who I am, I'm not-
Shut up! The smile on her face disappeared as she blew out a steady sigh, annoyed at the lesser side of her. It hardly ever showed up nowadays, too drowned out by the sultry smirks and taunting words and sophisticated tones she was known for. Too caught up in the web of lies she had spun to create a fascinating world of fake. No, that was wrong. This was her world. This was who Cherrypaw was. I am perfect.
"You're allowed to miss her, you know?"
"Since when are you the voice of reason?" The she-cat scoffed as she faced him, ears still remaining flat against her head as she tilted her head, sending him a taunting smile. "Wow, Oak, I didn't know you knew what emotions were."
Bramblepaw opened his mouth to snap in response; internally, Cherrypaw was cheering. Yes, she shouted, take the bait.
I don't want to talk about this.
Unfortunately, the tom, in a great display of patience and something that wasn't entirely him, closed his mouth seconds later and took in a deep breath. A flicker of something close to panic appeared in her chest, worming and wriggling its way closer and closer to her throat uncomfortably. Cherrypaw swallowed it down, mentally preparing herself for his next words.
"Don't try and change the subject," his voice was rough, entirely unused to talking this way to Cherrypaw of all cats. Considering how often this actually happened, which only included big events (like their trials), he didn't know if he should already be used to it or not. "What I said is true. You're allowed to miss her, especially because she can't be there to cheer for you or congratulate you when you win-"
"Please, stop."
"And you haven't given yourself time to miss her since she left-"
"I said stop, Bramblepaw!"
The tom and the rest of the world took in a sharp inhale at the ferocity in her voice, flinching as she approached him with deadly narrowed eyes and a sharp scowl on her face. An angry Cherrypaw, a truly angry one, was a force to be reckoned with that hardly ever made an appearance. It ruined the perfect world she had built for herself, a world she built all on her own because- stop.
"She is an Outcast," the words were rough as they crawled out of her throat, scratchy and sharp enough to bleed. "So no, I'm not allowed to miss her. She's a traitor to the clan and doesn't deserve even an ounce of my time."
"She's also your mother, who you are allowed to miss because she isn't here to tell you how proud she is of how far you've made it in the running."
And there it is. The reason she wasn't celebrating her sure acquired victory, a victory she had grasped through careful planning and ruthless endeavor. Her mother, an Outcast, a rank even lower than the Crippled title that Berrypaw had been forced into. Even after everything, Berrypaw was still in the clan, still here, while Cherrypaw's mother had been forced out. A valuable warrior chased away, while a burdened Cripple allowed to remain there.
Inconceivable… and entirely unfair. Pretend, pretend, pretend.
The Cherrypaw she had made herself to be didn't care about what was fair and not fair, the Cherrypaw she had made herself to be never lingered on the thought of her missing mother. An Outcast didn't deserve the time of day.
But… Bramblepaw was right. Kind of. Each and every time something regarding the thinning of Grand Royal apprentices, each time some sort of test was distributed, the lesser side of Cherrypaw couldn't help but feel… crestfallen. Because her mother wasn't there to congratulate her when she won or say that she was still proud of her, even if she lost.
Who was she kidding? Even if her mother had been there, she still wouldn't be saying those things.
Pretend, pretend, pretend. That was fine. Cherrypaw didn't need a mother, nor a father who ignored her existence because he saw her as a mistake. She just needed herself.
Cherrypaw was perfection. She didn't need anything else. Perfection had no need for the imperfect.
Her life was a game created from the mind of a lonely kit, and she intended on playing it until she was victorious.
One big game of pretend.
That's all it was.
That's all it ever was.
…
Blazeclan
…
Flarepaw's taking… a really long time to come back.
Then again, it was very difficult to tell how much time had passed when cooped up in one of the smaller, private areas within the Medicine Cat den. Sunshine and moonlight hardly entered within the stone walls of the den, dull greys of differing shades the only color surrounding him (not including the occasional browns from the ground, of course). In a secluded area where his only options were to sleep and sleep some more, he would've thought he would be excited at the prospect of catching up on his rest, which had been rather lacking due to… recent circumstances.
While his body was beyond ready to call it a day and sleep until tomorrow, his mind was buzzing annoyingly and no matter how many times the tom closed his eyes or shifted in the very very comfortable nest- that most certainly didn't belong to him- Sootpaw couldn't sleep. If only he and Flarepaw could swap positions… Not that he wanted her injured! He just wanted her to sleep, is all.
Her perseverance was waning and she was just so… tired. It was so obvious, even a blind cat could see that. Sootpaw felt much of the same, for an entirely different reason, but his fatigue wasn't important. The tom was accustomed to running on nothing but small and flickering embers when it came to the flame of his energy reserves and patience. His exhaustion wasn't anything new, and therefore, unimportant.
She's going to leave you eventually, Sootpaw stifled a groan of annoyance at the taunting whispers, opening his eyes once more from where they had been uselessly closed in a feeble attempt to fall asleep, the sooner the better.
Being forced to do nothing but rest was also the perfect opportunity for his doubts and insecurities to fog over his mind. And Hollypaw wondered why it was the tom could never just sit still for one second.
The answer was simple.
If he sat still for one second, then he would cease to exist altogether.
He was a being that required movement to live, to thrive. If after every travesty, every roadblock that came his way, he stopped? Sootpaw would never be able to start again. No, all he had to do was keep moving forward and never look back. Take every sharp turn and painful experiences head-on but never stop. He just had to keep going, there was bound to be a light at the end of this very long, dim tunnel. The sun was just over the next hill.
Some day, all the pain he faced in this world- all the loneliness and heartache and anger and sorrow- would come to an end until eventually…
All that was left was either peace-
Or nothing.
Sootpaw liked to think there would be peace after all this violence (even when the voices in his head that were nothing but his own disagreed on that). Perhaps it was nothing but wishful thinking, but the Commoner was nothing if not a wishful thinker.
Someone had to try and look at the positives, someone had to hope.
He wondered, lately, if that someone was truly meant to be him.
"Hey, Flare- oh…" A familiar, yet entirely unexpected voice sounded from the den entrance, and at the prospect of something to do other than this so-called thing known as rest, Sootpaw turned around so quickly in the nest that he flinched from his movements. "You're… not Flarepaw."
The excitement the Commoner felt at having someone to talk to instantly melted into a strange mixture of mild amusement, gut-churning worry, and burning annoyance. The scowl on his face was instantaneous, as was the slightly humorless laugh that bubbled its way up his throat and into the open air. When he spoke, it was far too easy to slip into a tone of tauntful teasing.
"Neither are you."
The scarred face of Rowanpaw twisted into a scowl that mimicked the Commoner's own, admittedly more intimidating and just outright loathsome in comparison. Amber eyes glinted with irritation that sparked whenever Sootpaw was within his line of sight, and the light grey tom didn't know if he should be proud or not that he was able to make someone annoyed just by existing. That certainly had been one of his goals as a kit, when his whole ridiculous scheme- adventure!- of antagonizing the High Ranks began.
"What are you doing in here, Commoner?" The Royal apprentice grunted, teeth gritting and ears falling flat, "worthless Low Ranks aren't allowed in these dens."
"Incorrect; nobody is allowed in these dens except for the apprentice it belongs to and the Medicine Cats. So, that means even you aren't allowed in here."
"Don't be smart with me," Rowanpaw grumbled, tail twitching behind him in a minuscule attempt to lash. "Answer the question. What are you doing in here? And, where is Flarepaw?"
"I know you have scars on your face Rowanpaw but they didn't make you blind," Sootpaw rolled his eyes as he pushed himself to a sitting position, feeling infinitely more comfortable now that he was semi-leveled with the other tom instead of laying down. The tension in his shoulders had yet to go away, and the fur along his spine was slowly beginning to rise, but the tom was used to both of these instincts. "These cobwebs aren't my natural color, you know?"
"Stars, are you this annoying to everyone?"
"Nah," playfully, Sootpaw winked at him, "you're just special."
Rowanpaw, as he predicted, scoffed and turned away with a disgusted huff of breath. The Commoner's lips twitched in something close to satisfaction. It was routine for him to provoke the High Ranks. Routine was a comfort he desperately needed at the moment.
"If you're not going to be of any help, then I'll find someone who is actually useful."
"Flarepaw's…" Training? No, she would've been back by now, I think. Spending time alone? Maybe. Looking for Darkpaw still even though she should be resting? She better not. "Busy."
The Royal stopped in his hasty escape from the den, but he didn't turn to look at the Commoner. His ears twitched back, indicating that he heard, and his spastically twitching tail- perhaps a nervous habit?- came to a halt. From where he sat, Sootpaw could see the High Rank's body tense up. He prepared himself for a tongue-lashing.
"She's supposed to be resting."
Sootpaw let out a harsh chuckle, ears falling flat on their own accord as a deeper scowl pulled at his lips. "Yeah, try telling her that."
"Why didn't you try and stop her?" Rowanpaw turned his head slightly to the side, but still, he hadn't turned around. "She listens to you, doesn't she?"
Clearly not. But that was fine. Sootpaw never ordered the she-cat to do anything, he could never. Everything he asked her to do was nothing but innocent requests, quiet suggestions that he hoped she would listen to.
He was her friend- he might even say her mate- not her leader. Not her father.
"I tried," the tom shrugged helplessly, "she was adamant about going to train. I wasn't going to force her to stay."
"So, you just let her... walk out of here to be in the presence of her father, even though she is in nowhere near the right state of mind to be by him?" Rowanpaw whipped around, eyes burning with anger and concern and his fangs bared at the Commoner. "Some help you are."
Okay, uncalled for. Sootpaw was aware that Rowanpaw was just doing this out of the worry he had for the she-cat, however fabricated it might have been (at least, that's what the Commoner believed), but he generally had little to no patience when it came to dealing with a yelling Rowanpaw. Especially when those shouts were directed at him… much like they always were.
The tom took in a deep breath in a weak attempt to control his own kindling temper. He could feel it; rising, burning, breathing in sync with him. Like it was another being inside him entirely, created for nothing but the role of destruction and mayhem, and it purred at the thought of a challenge. His heartbeat steadily increased and his shoulders squared.
He was ready for a fight, and Sootpaw was not known for backing down so easily.
"Some help I am?" His words quivered and sang with long-suppressed rage- rage he could never let out because that's not who he was. That wasn't who he was meant to be, who he was supposed to end up being.
Sootpaw was supposed to be the one who smiled, even in the darkest of times. He was supposed to be the one who laughed even when there was nothing worth laughing for. He was supposed to be the one who helped others stand on their own, the one who picked them back up time and time again with unwavering support and just a hint of stubbornness.
He wasn't supposed to be the angry one- lashing out at those who only wanted to help, those who were only worried for him.
He wasn't supposed to be the bitter one- holding grudges against those who made even the smallest of mistakes and hypocritical judgments.
He wasn't supposed to be the sad one- still hopelessly clinging to the deaths of his friends and wanting nothing more than to finally stop.
But that's who he was becoming, wasn't it?
And after everything, could anyone really blame him?
"What about you, Rowanpaw?" The Commoner, through gritted teeth, forced himself to stand despite how much it hurt. Huh. He was doing a lot of that recently. Grit your teeth through the pain, he told himself, because that's the only way you'll get through it. "You act like you're all worried about her, like you care about her, but just stop and take one damn look at whose side you're on."
Rowanpaw, to his pleasant surprise, flinched at his tone before realizing what he just did and replacing it with an indignant scowl. Flinching because of a Commoner, Sootpaw imagined the Royal to be thinking, that's unbecoming of a High Rank.
"I only want what's best for her-"
"You have a funny way of proving that, considering you're the little puppet of the one who wants to hurt her."
"How many times do I have to repeat myself before you get it through that thick, empty skull of yours?" The Royal was stepping closer, the room was growing warmer with their heated glares at one another, and Sootpaw braced himself for the inevitable impact. The impending explosion. It was going to be messy. "I don't have a choice! Unlike you with your suicidal tendencies and delusional behaviors, I'm not reckless enough to go against him so blatantly when I know there's no chance of winning!"
"Then why did you tell us to check up on Darkpaw when he went missing?" Sootpaw narrowed his eyes even more, fur bristling and claws prickling against skin, begging for release. "Why would you do that if you're so concerned about your own safety?"
"You really are dense, aren't you?" Rowanpaw scoffed, shaking his head with a pitying look. "Sometimes I wonder how you've managed to survive this long with your reckless lifestyle."
"That's really mature of you, insulting me to make yourself feel better." Too much, too much, back away, back away. No, Sootpaw was too far gone. It was too late to turn back. "Does the little Royal feel better now?"
"He made me do it!"
And there it is. Push someone too much and they were bound to snap at one point; with retaliation or with the truth, both were welcomed. It was inevitable. No one could last forever.
Sootpaw's ears perked up at the particular piece of information, brewing flames of his anger retreating for a moment and clearing the rage-induced fog in his mind. Clarity, so bright and crystal clear. And what he saw made him sick.
Even with the "best intentions" in mind, Rowanpaw was still playing the part of the puppet.
Getting closer to us with small acts of kindness and vulnerability. Making us drop our guards enough for Wildfire to have an open target.
"What did Wildfire do to him, Rowanpaw?" The Commoner took a stern step forward, watching with sick satisfaction the wide-eyed fear in the Royal's mind. It wasn't directed at Sootpaw, far from it. Rowanpaw had slipped up.
"I don't-"
"Tell me before I go straight to the Grand Royal and tell him about everything Wildfire's done." Everything that Wildfire's made you do, was his hidden words, and the threat was not lost on Rowanpaw's ears. The Royal apprentice flattened his ears, growling under his breath as he glanced away from the Commoner.
A part of Sootpaw, a small inconceivable part of him wondered if Rowanpaw would just outright kill him right here and now to keep him quiet. He wouldn't. As cruel as Rowanpaw had made himself out to be, per request of Wildfire most likely, he could never kill his own clanmate, Commoner or not.
At the very least, there would be no way to make it seem like an accident.
"Darkpaw could still be alive," the Royal finally murmured after a heavy moment of tense silence. "All Wildfire did was order him to… leave."
"Leave?"
"The clan, to leave the clan and never return. If… If Darkpaw were to come back, to ignore his orders, then," Rowanpaw glanced down at his paws, regret heavy in his voice as he slowly shook his head, "Wildfire would kill him. He ordered it the night before Darkpaw disappeared, and the day it would happen… I was to wait until he actually left to go and give the news to Flarepaw."
"So… we could've found him?" Sootpaw's voice lost all traces of his anger, replaced instead with raw disappointment. Of course, his mind whispered in a taunt, there was still a chance and you failed anyway. The Commoner didn't know whether or not to be thrilled at the idea that Darkpaw might still be alive.
"Maybe," Rowanpaw murmured, voice still quiet as he consistently glanced behind his shoulder, paranoid that the demon himself would appear and strike him down. "Wildfire wasn't planning for there to be a blizzard, at least not one of that intensity. He knew Flarepaw would go searching, and that you and maybe Sagepaw would pitch in to help, but he had counted for you all to be separated at one point or another."
"...He was following us…" Sootpaw breathed out, eyes going wide and his shoulders tensing. "Wildfire was out there as well?"
Rowanpaw frowned as he nodded. "Everything got… kind of chaotic, because of the blizzard, but the plan was to trail after you or Sagepaw while I… led Flarepaw away from you two."
And it worked. If there hadn't been a blizzard…
Would Wildfire have killed Sootpaw or Sagepaw if he had gotten the chance? Make it seem like an unfortunate accident, make it a consequence for going on a fruitless search for a Servant and-
Flarepaw would blame herself for it. The only thing keeping the Grand Royal apprentice moving, keeping her standing to stare in the face of her monster was Sootpaw and her remaining brother. And if she lost either of them…
"Please, I know… I know I'm probably the last cat you feel like you can trust, but please believe me when I say I only want what's best for Flarepaw," Rowanpaw fumbled with his words slightly, perhaps because a part of him was embarrassed pleading to a Commoner for anything, but his voice was stern. Honest. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I just… I wanted to see you in pain, sure," that's not helping, "but… not to this extent. I may not like you, not in the slightest, but you are important to Flarepaw, and I don't feel comfortable with the idea of hurting her… Any more than I already have. And it's obvious now that hurting you is the easiest way of hurting her the most."
"How do I know you're telling the truth?"
"It's me, Commoner," Rowanpaw chuckled, a sad sound, "would I ever bring myself down to your low level if I wasn't serious about this?"
Sootpaw wrinkled his nose. "Back to insulting me, I see. That's not exactly getting me to like you."
"You don't have to like me," the Royal cut in, amber eyes meeting gold, "in fact, I don't want you to because it would make it a lot harder to hate you if you were nice to me. You just have to trust me."
That in and of itself was difficult. Especially considering even this, confessing everything, could be another lie fabricated by Wildfire's schemes. This could all be an act, Rowanpaw was quite the renowned actor.
Right?
"I don't know if I can," Sootpaw spoke honestly, ears flat against his head as he slowly allowed himself to sit back down. His anger was washed away by horrified realizations and bitter sorrow. "And I honestly don't know if I want to try after everything you've put me through, everything you inadvertently put Flarepaw through as well."
"...You care about her…" The Commoner didn't know if it was a trick of his ears, but Rowanpaw sounded almost… sad? Sootpaw met his gaze once more, which was quite a difficult task because the Royal refused to meet his.
"Of course I care about her," golden eyes narrowed with sincerity, "I love her."
"Is that why you go through this?" There was something innocent in Rowanpaw's gaze, like he was a confused kit just learning something new. Perhaps he didn't know what love, true love actually was. Sootpaw, himself, was still learning. "All this pain and heartache for her? Is it worth it?"
"It's not all pain and heartache." Cracks appeared in the defensive walls the Commoner had placed around his heart, walls that had long been standing and reinforced after the deaths of his friends. Rays of a seemingly forgotten light shined from behind them. A smile twitched on Sootpaw's lips. "If we only look at all the bad things in life, then nothing is worth going through any amount of pain. But… look at the happy moments, the smiles and the laughs and the… closeness… then that's when something becomes worth it. And… yes. Flarepaw is worth this and so much more. I would face Wildfire a thousand times and counting and it would never change my mind."
Rowanpaw blinked at him, and for once, Sootpaw sent him a smile. Right now, at this moment, they weren't who the clan wanted them to be, who the world deemed them to be. They weren't a Royal, a High Rank, with the sole purpose of stepping on the Commoner, a Low Rank. Amber stared into golden-yellow, curious and virtuous and free from the chains of his respective rank.
"Are you not afraid?" Of Wildfire, of facing pain time and time again, of losing her, of losing yourself, of death? Rowanpaw's unsaid words were loud on Sootpaw's ears.
The Commoner continued to smile, the cracks stretching higher to the insurmountable height of his walls- no sign of full breaking them, but progress. It was something, and that was better than nothing.
"Of course I am." But that's not going to stop me. Sootpaw's unspoken response was a shout in the silence.
Rowanpaw chuckled sadly again, closing his eyes as he shook his head slowly.
"To think that a Commoner is braver than I am," the Royal murmured just loud enough for him to hear. Sootpaw damn near choked on his own spit at that admittance. "Ridiculous."
"You can be brave too, Rowanpaw," Sootpaw hummed a gentle note, tilting his head and glancing around the grey walls of the den. "I mean, just look at what you're doing here now."
Unless this is just another ploy from Wildfire, then…
"I slipped up… If Wildfire finds out I told you this-"
"Which he won't."
"And how do you know that?"
Sootpaw winked at him playfully. "I'm good at keeping secrets… and distracting others when they get close to figuring it out. I'll throw Wildfire off your path, but… I really think I should tell Flarepaw this. Or, at least, Sagepaw."
Rowanpaw sighed, a ragged breath that escaped from deep within his lungs. "I just want this to be over with." I want to be free of him.
It seemed as though Rowanpaw was just as much of a prisoner to Wildfire as Flarepaw was.
"You and me both."
"I spent too long here," the Royal muttered before turning around, shoulders drooping slightly. "I only came here looking for Flarepaw because Wildfire was asleep. That's perhaps the only time I can ever talk to her without raising suspicion."
"I'll let Flarepaw know you stopped by…" If she comes back anytime soon.
"You really don't know where she's at?" Rowanpaw glanced behind his shoulder at him, a subtle frown on his face. Sootpaw glanced down at his paws, shuffling them lightly as he blew out a heavy sigh.
"She… might be visiting her mother and Flamepaw's graves. She, uh, does that when she's… troubled." Granted, she had been doing that a lot less recently, going to talk to Sootpaw or Sagepaw about her problems instead of re-opening the wounds left behind by her deceased family time and time again. This was a special occasion, however.
"I'll check there." With that, the Royal began walking out of the den. Sootpaw took in a deep breath before calling out to him.
"Rowanpaw!"
"What, Commoner?" There was a tinge of annoyance in his voice, but perhaps his heart wasn't entirely in the insult that was the repeated use of his rank.
"Thank you, for telling me this."
Rowanpaw peeked back into the room, leveling Sootpaw with a stare before closing his eyes and letting out a harsh breath. "Don't mention it. Literally, don't."
And as quickly as he arrived, Rowanpaw was gone.
Leaving Sootpaw, once again, alone. To rest. Like he was supposed to be doing.
With nothing but his own stirring thoughts and the new information that the Royal had given him.
Yep. I'm definitely not falling asleep anytime soon.
…
A/N: Argh, sorry if parts of this chapter seemed rushed or mediocre. Turns out, I was right about the babysitting thing. It's very hard to focus on writing when I have a crying child banging on my closed door for my attention. It did get better as the week progressed though, so I'm hoping it's much better the next time I have to write. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed regardless!
*Psst* There is a special surprise waiting for y'all in the next chapter. I hope you look forward to it! (Can you guess what it is?)
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Question of the Day
What is the best way to motivate yourself to do something?
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~Wolfcreations20