AN: "Can I ask for a fic where Roy ask Riza why did she really followed him and she gives him the same answer as before but then, she suddenly said "I've got nowhere else to go" - anon

inspired by "holy ground" by within temptation

i've always wanted to do a fic with this song (bc it's perfect for riza's feelings upon arriving in ishval i feel) so ty anon! and i'm sorry : )

you got inside my head, i want you out

cause i've been betrayed on holy ground

The Ishval sands were whipped up into the air by the bitter wind. Funny, how a place so blisteringly hot could be so bitterly cold during the night. Roy knew how deserts worked, he knew it was because there was nothing to hold the heat, but in Ishval, he'd believe that contrast was done on purpose - a punishment for the atrocities he'd caused here.

Another punishment to add to his already long list.

The current one he faced, was meeting with Riza Hawkeye again. She was livid - and rightly so. He'd taken what he wanted from her and left to join the military, only to use her precious gift to murder and destroy.

No wonder she was glaring at him, so angry she was unable to speak straight.

Riza could never handle anger well. Growing up she'd cried when she got too angry. Not that it happened often, but Roy had spent a few nights offering her comfort while she spat out half sentences about how much she despised her father and now unfair her life had been.

Now she was older, it had manifested into something different, after Roy had put the icing on the cake with what he'd done here in the desert. Her anger was palpable, years of it being built up and unleashed in broken waves. Her fury was terrifying, and Roy wished he wasn't on the receiving end of it, but after what he'd done, he wasn't permitted a request like that. Riza Hawkeye had every right to aim her wrath his way.

Her glare pierced through his very soul.

"Why?"

He had no good answer to give her.

"I told you I had a dream to get to the top -"

"And that means doing this?" she hissed, gesturing wildly to the door of his tent. "Murdering innocents?"

The wild flailing of her arm was the only signal she gave that her anger wasn't as tightly reigned in as she'd probably like it to be. Being a creature of maintaining control, Riza's was slowly slipping.

Roy didn't blame her. He couldn't. In her shoes, he'd be furious as well.

But, he couldn't forget that she was here too.

"If you'd heard what happened on the radio," Roy challenged. "If you're this angry with what I'm doing, then why follow me out here?" Her only answer was a silent glare. "Why come to Ishval in the first place?!"

They'd had this conversation before. Her answer had always been to support his dream. But… Why come -?

"This has nothing to do with you!" she exploded suddenly. "Not everything does!" Roy froze. Riza raised a finger to point it in his direction. "I just wanted to do good in this world, but not only have you lied to me, but the military has too." She glared at him, chest heaving as she breathed heavily, betrayal flooding her expression. Her eyes were becoming wet, a reminder of their time as kids. However, this time, Roy wouldn't be the one to comfort her. He'd given up that right after discarding her by the wayside to chase a dream with everything she'd given him. No, everything he'd stolen from her. "It's not about following you. Not anymore. Not after what you've done. I've simply got nowhere else to go."

Roy was rendered mute, and that was probably for the best. He didn't think he could form a sentence if he tried anyway. Nothing he could say would fix this or make it better. There was a crushing weight on his chest which restricted his breathing. It was a combination of pain from her confession and the final realisation that he'd fucked up big time. There'd always been a small sliver of hope that once Riza has realised what was happening here, she'd understand why he was doing what he was doing, but no. She only saw him for the selfish bastard he truly was.

Riza paused before she left his tent, but never turned to face him. "I had nowhere else to go," she whispered. "So I came here. Now, I'll follow you, sir, but only to make sure you don't fuck anything else up this badly in the future."

A cold wind whipped inside his tent, bringing the biting air with it.

"I'll be the one to watch over you, sir. And I'll be the one to kill you if you overstep this line again."

The wind sucked away his breath.

"After all, a monster needs to be put down before it can harm anything else."

His tent was now empty.