August 1866
The notice board that was in place since two years on the Sanjo Ohashi bridge to proclaim Choshu enemies of the court had been vandalised and the Aizu asked the Shinsengumi to protect the new one. We were taking turns, days and nights, and still doing our rounds. Therefore, the men were pretty tired but in my unit, no one complained.
I was out on a round with Chizuru by my side. She was never missing a round with me and i was pleased to always have her near. Tetsuya was following us closely and Tairô took the rear guard. I stopped near a small shop and announced myself to the owner.
« Shinsengumi. It has been bought to our attention that there's a lot of ronins getting in and out of your establishment. I'll have to control it. »
« Ha.. Hai ! Please, come in ! » stuttered the merchant and i could see in his eyes already that he wasn't suspicious. Still, i had to do my duty.
I made a head sign to my men and they all followed me inside. We overlooked the merchandises and every drawers but didn't find anything of interest. That's when i heard the commotion outside.
« Leave her alone ! »
Chizuru. I could recognize her voice and got out of the shop. She was standing in front of a girl with a luxurious kimono, protecting her from some ronins. Volition was burning in her eyes when she oppened her mouth again.
« Samurai are supposed to protect the citizen, not harm them ! With your acts, you show that you are nothing but a bunch of bullies ! »
There were three men in front of her and they didn't seem to like at all the way Chizuru had spoken to them. One of them unsheathed his sword and pointed it at her.
« What did you call us, kid ?! » he yelled, threatening. « We are true imperial patriots ! »
Chizuru wasn't afraid though and she put her hand on her kodachi in preparation for the blow... that never happened. Fast as i could, i came behind the man and hit him with the back of my sword, making him fall on the ground. I looked at the others and my gaze only froze them in place.
« Get them to the headquarters. » i said to Tairô who was exiting the shop as well. « They might be Choshu. »
He nodded and my unit came circling the three men, leaving me alone with Chizuru and the girl.
« Saito... » started Chizuru but i cut her right there.
« What where you thinking ?! You could have been hurt. » i said, harsher than i wanted.
« But... » she tried to continue.
« The man's right, you know ! I had the situation totally under control ! » added the girl and we both looked at her in disbelief while she was scolding Chizuru. Her expression softened though when she added « oh, i'm sorry... You came to help me and i'm not giving you the gratitude you deserve... Please accept my apology and. thank you for your help. »
« I.. thanks ? » said Chizuru, flustered.
« Young women like us need to take care if each others, right ? » she added with a wink before noticing our faces « sorry ! Was it supposed to be a secret ?! »
« Yeah... »
« It's ok, Chizuru. » i said to reassure her « you can't expect to fool everyone »
I was glad my unit wasn't there anymore though. This could have been a subject of debate. And the outcome wouldn't have pleased Hijikata-san and Kondou-san.
« My name is Sen ! » she bowed « i'm happy to meet you.
« My pleasure, Sen-san. » said Chizuru
« Just Sen, please, we must be around the same age. » she smiled « can i inquire on your name ? »
« Yukimuru Chizuru. Nice to meet you Sen. »
« Yukimura ! » her eyes widden « from... the east ? »
« Yeah, i come from Edo... » she answered, flustered.
I found the behavior of that Sen a bit suspicious but i didn't say a thing as she regained her composure quite quickly. Sen got her smile back and nodded.
« I'm sorry... It's just the same name as one of mine acquaintances. I hope we see each other soon, Chizuru-chan ! » she bowed and walked away.
I watch her until she was out of sight and reported my attention on Chizuru.
« Let's get back. » i told her and we started walking in the other direction.
I didn't say anything for a while but eventually she broke the silence.
« Are you mad ? » she asked me and i didn't have the heart to lie to her.
« Yes » i said calmly.
« I'm sorry, Saito... I just couldn't stay in the roadside while they were bullying her ! »
I sighed and stopped walking, fixing my gaze on her. I could see it reflecting in her eyes. It was cold as ice, more than i wanted, but i couldn't stop myself from being mad at her behavior.
« You could have been hurt. There were three men in front of you and they were ready to attack. »
« I can defend myself ! I was ready ! » she objected.
« No you can't ! » i said with authority « against a real swordsman, you don't stand a chance ! »
« What's the point of practicing with the others if you deny my hard work ?! » she screamed with anger. « I'm trying my best to improve, even you tested me and said i could defend myself but now that i'm willing to try, you can't trust me anymore ! »
« In the street, there is no such thing as trying. If you fail, you die. » i said harshly. « You think you can defend yourself because you practice in a dojo. How much you trained is irrelevant. Out there, it's danger. I don't want you to get involve. And that isn't opened to discussion. I don't want to see you unsheathe your kodachi ever again in the streets. Am i understood ? »
« You just can't trust me » she cried.
I unsheathed my sword and put it on her neck in a fluid, rapid movement that she didn't see coming.
« It's not that i don't trust you. It's that i don't trust the others to fight you loyally. The rules of the streets are not the same as the rules of the dojo. »
She stopped crying and we resumed walking towards the compound. I could tell though that she was still firm on her position. She really thought that she could have stand a chance against them. Arrived in the compound, i took a look at her frowned face filled with anger and sighed.
« Alright. » i said « stay here. »
I went to my men and called three of them.
« Tairô, Nobuo, Keisuke. » i ordered « take four bokken and bring them in the courtyard.
They ran to the dojo without question and i went back to Chizuru. When they arrived, i handed her a bokken.
« Show me. » i told her before turning to my men. « Don't go easy on him. Imagine it's a street altercation and you're imperialists ronins. I want it to be a lesson. »
They nodded and circled Chizuru. She managed to dodge the first blow and the second one before a bokken landed with force on her shoulder, making her escape a short cry of pain. This would probably leave a bruise. From then, the pain made her loose her focus and she was hit three time and fell on the ground before i stopped the demonstration.
« Enough. Dismiss. » i said looking at the small tears in Chizuru's eyes.
Please, pardon me Chizuru...
« These were bokken. The men in the street had actual swords. If it wasn't for me, you would have been dead. Do you understand now ? » i told her in a calm voice.
She looked at me with anger and pain but nodded. I reached to her with my hand and she grabbed it.
« I'm sorry. » i told her with a gentle voice « you just wouldn't listen... I had to show you the difference between the streets and the dojo. There's no honor out there. »
She nodded again and walked away to her room, leaving me.
Don't go ! Please, Chizuru, i'm sorry ! I never wanted to harm you...
I got to my room and grabbed some Ishida powder, the medecine of Hijikata-san's family. It was very efficient on bruises. I got out with it and went to Chizuru's room.
« Yukimura. » i asked « Yukimura, may i come in ? »
The shoji oppened and i got in, handing her the medecine.
« Try to drink this with water. It'll help with the bruises. » i said and she took it but didn't speak. « Chizuru... I'm sorry for what happened. I just don't want you to get killed... »
She stayed silent again and i wiped a tear from her face with a finger.
« You will be a great swordsman one day. I know you will. But now's too soon. Just trust me, alright ? I never meant to hurt you. I just... got out of my mind... because you were in danger and i love you. Please, Chizuru. »
She nodded and although she was still crying, i could see forgiveness installing itself in her mind.
« I understand. I'm not mad at you, Saito. I guess i still have a long way to go... » she said, sadly.
« Promise me you won't fight in the streets again. » i asked.
« I promise. » she answered and i leaned over to kiss her, trying to pour my love, my shame of hurting her and my fear of losing her in my embrace.
At first, she didn't reply to the kiss but when she did, i felt that i was forgiven. I knew that what i did was wrong. No feelings in the world would allow me to get the woman i loved hurt... But she forgave me. With all her little heart. And that was enough. Now i needed to forgive myself. It will probably take more time.