Here's a parody of the episode: Naughty Nautical Neighbors

Lori is prepared to watch TV. "Time to watch my Professional Golfers show."

She turned on the TV to see her show starting.

"Good thing I brought my low cal bean chips." She opened the bag and started eating them as she watched her show. Then she heard laughter coming from outside. She tried to ignore it but she heard more of it. Irritated, Lori went over to open a window and saw her brother and his friend, Clyde. They were communicating through walkie talkies as they were across from each other.

"Hey Cadet Clyde." Lincoln said. Clyde heard that through his walkie talkie and giggled.

"Hey Captain Lincoln." Clyde replied. Lincoln giggled.

Lori was annoyed with them, but got an idea. She got out her phone and used her "Walkie Talkie app" to communicate with Clyde.

"Clyde, you're my best friend in the whole world." Lincoln said through the walkie talkie. However, Clyde didn't hear his message as his walkie talkie made a static sound effect.

"Lincoln?"

Then he heard Lori's voice, as Lori mimicked Lincoln's voice.

"Clyde, you are the dorkiest loser that has ever been my misfortune to know."

Clyde looked upset. He spoke to Lincoln through his walkie talkie. "Is that what you really think, Lincoln?"

"Of course, Clyde." Lincoln replied. "Anyone with eyes could see that."

"Well, I think you're ugly! White hair is ugly!"

Lincoln was clearly confused. "Clyde, what are you talking about?"

Then Lori communicates with her brother, mimicking Clyde's voice. "Lincoln, I no longer wish to know you. You give comic geeks a bad name."

Lincoln gasped. Lori sent more messages to them.

"If you keep reading comics in your underwear, I'm gonna start calling you UndieBoy."

"Hey Clyde, why don't you get a paint job? You could make red paint with your nose."

Clyde was fed up. "Well, you're a big loser you loser!"

"Well, so are you!"

Lori came out with a bag of chips and sat in a lawn chair, watching the two boys fight.

"And you're a wimp!" Clyde yelled back.

"You're a bigger one!" Lincoln yelled back.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, you still have white hair. And you who else has white hair?"

"Who?"

"You!"

Lori laughed as she ate her chips.

"Well, it doesn't matter what you say to me because I never want to see you again!" Lincoln yelled.

"Fine!" Clyde yelled back. Lincoln stormed into the house and slammed the door. Clyde threw his walkie talkie in anger. Lori laughs. She laughs so hard that she started choking on her chips. Her face turned light blue and her eyes formed the words "K.O" before passing out. Clyde noticed this and was shocked.

"Holy cow, Lori's choking!"

Clyde rushes up to her. "I know just what to do."

Clyde wraps his arms around Lori, giving her the Heimlich maneuver. He manages to dislodge the chips from her throat and make her spit it out. Her face went back to its normal color as Lori could breathe again.

"Clyde, you saved my life!"

"I did?"

"Yeah, you're a real lifesaver, friend."

"Friend?" Then Clyde hugged Lori. "Friend."

Lori shoved him off. "Uh, yeah Clyde. We're friends. Just friends."

Clyde and Lori notice Lincoln looking through the window, as he had witnessed what had happened. Clyde then got the idea to make Lincoln jealous. He wrapped his arm around Lori.

"So what are we doing today, best friend?"

"Well, I was gonna do some mini golfing."

"Mini golf? I love golf."

Clyde and Lori headed into the backyard. Lincoln turned to Charles.

"Aw, who needs them. They're no fun anyway. Right Charles?"

Charles was too distracted with a fly in the house. He chased after it.

"Charles?"

In the backyard, there was a mini golf course. Clyde watched Lori as she went to golf first. Lori whacked the ball and got a hole in one.

"Whoo! Hole in one!" Lori cheered.

"I bet I could do that." Clyde said.

"We'll see about that." Lori said.

Clyde took his turn. Then looked nervous. He was actually a lousy golfer but he wanted to hang out with Lori. Clyde closed his eyes and swung the golf club into the air, missing the ball. He opened his eyes.

"Did I do it?" Then the golf club went back down and hit Clyde in the head, knocking the kid out.

Lori groaned.

"I don't need Clyde." Lincoln said to himself. "I've got plenty of other friends. Yeah, I'll just call one of them."

Lincoln got out his phone and searched the phone numbers of his closest friends, which were Rusty, Liam, Stella, and Zach. Unfortunately, they were all unavailable.

"Dang it." He said sadly.

Outside, Lori carries an unconscious Clyde over to the front porch and sets him down. But then her back cracks.

"Oh, my back! I threw out my back!"

Lincoln saw this from the window. "Now's my chance." He came out outside. "Don't worry Lori, I'll save you!"

Lori panicked. "Lincoln? No, no! Get away from me!"

Lori tried to get away but couldn't move very fast, due to her back being broken. Lincoln jumped onto his sister and strengthened her back with his feet, fixing it. "Ahhh! I'm ruined! I'm ruined! I'm-I'm...I feel great."

Lori turned to her brother. "Thanks Little bro."

Lincoln smiles big. "Friend.."

"No, no, no! I didn't say that!"

"Don't worry Lori, you're my new best friend now." Lincoln dragged Lori inside, leaving Clyde outside.

"So dumb Clyde thought he could get a hole in one? Ha!" Lincoln and Lori were the living room. He noticed Lori with a trumpet. "Say, are you practicing the trumpet?"

"Well, yes." Lori said. "I'm perform for my high school music class."

"How about I perform?"

"You play the trumpet?"

"I've been practicing for a year."

"Ok, give it a shot." Lori gave Lincoln the trumpet. Lincoln began to sing.

"Lori is my best friend in the world!" He plays the trumpet very badly as Lori cringes. "Lori is my best friend ever!"

Plays badly again. "Lori-"

"-likes Clyde more than Lincoln!" Clyde sang as he appeared at the window. Lincoln closed the curtains.

"And Clyde is a dirty, rotten, friend stealer!" Lincoln angrily stomps on the trumpet, destroying it. He realizes what he's done.

"Um, I can fix this."

Lori turns red and growls in anger. Scared, Lincoln runs off.

"I'll see you later, Lori. Call me!"

Lori went upstairs. "Yuck. That was disgusting. I think I need to take a shower."

Lori went into the bathroom. Then she screamed at what she saw next. A nude Clyde was sitting in the bathtub.

"Hey buddy, I warmed up a nice bubble bath for you."

"Clyde, get out! And put some clothes on!"

Then Lincoln rushed in. "What's wrong, best friend?" He sees Clyde in the tub.

"Oh, no way! This is what I find, huh? My best friend and my ex best friend and...rubber bath toys!"

The white haired boy and the bespectacled boy start arguing.

"This can't be happening!" Lori yelled and ran away. Lincoln and Clyde called for Lori. Lori hid in the trash can outside.

"Those guys are driving me crazy!" Lori said, popping her head out. "I need a plan to get them back together and out of my hair!"

Lincoln was in the backyard, reading a comic book. Then he got a text message from his eldest sister. "Hey, I got a text from Lori."

He read it. "A friend party? I'd love to."

Lincoln heads back inside the house, where Lori is in the living room.

"Lori, I'm here."

"Lincoln, you look stunning. Let's go to my room."

They walk up to Lori's room.

"I'd much rather have a party with you than that lousy-" He sees Clyde in Lori's room, sitting at a table. "Hey, what gives? I'm not sitting with that lame-o!"

"Me neither." Clyde said. "This was a setup."

"But I thought you two were my best friends." Lori said.

"I am your best friend!" Lincoln and Clyde said simultaneously.

"...Well then, how about some soda guys?" Lori got out a pitcher of soda.

"Yes please." Lincoln said, holding out his cup. Lori poured some into his cup. "Thanks friend. By the way, I heard he's not allowed to drink soda."

"That's not true." Clyde objected. "Now how about some for your best friend."

Lori is about to pour some soda for Clyde but Lincoln rudely puts his cup in front of the pitcher and gets more soda. Clyde gasped.

"Thanks best friend." Lincoln drinks his soda.

"Can I have some now?" Clyde said.

"Wait, I need some more." Lincoln said. Lori poured some more soda for Lincoln.

"I still didn't get any." Clyde complained.

"There you go." Lincoln have his soda to Clyde. "More please."

Lori poured more soda for Lincoln. The two boys drank their soda.

"Lori!"" Clyde got more soda.

"Lori! "Lincoln got more soda.

"Hey Lori!"

"Lori!"

"Lori!"

"Lori!"

"Hey Lori!" Clyde put out his full glass out. "Hey Lori!"

"Clyde! Your glass is full!"

"Oh yeah."

The two boys continued to get more soda from Lori until the pitcher was empty. And the boys were both bloated.

"Sorry boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more. Why don't you both stay here and chat?"

Lori left her room. Lincoln and Clyde just sat there, staring away from each other angrily. The silence was awkward as they looked in different directions. Then Lincoln burped and Clyde giggled. He burped and Lincoln giggled. They burped some more and started laughing. Lori was returning with the soda. Then she heard a huge burp that shook the house.

"That felt like one of Lisa's experiments." Lori said. She opened the door and was shocked to see her room all messed up from the loud burp.

"What a surprise." She said in a deadpan tone. "I invited them in. And I left them alone. Well Lori, what have we learned today?"

"Hey Lori, guess what?" Lincoln said. "Me and Clyde are friends again!"

"Good. Now go be friends somewhere else."

"Don't you want us to help you clean up this mess?"

"No! Out!"

Lincoln and Clyde walk out.

"Psst! I think she's jealous." Lincoln muttered to Clyde.

"How pathetic." Clyde muttered back.

Then Lori slammed the door and stared at her and Leni's messed up bedroom. She went over to her dresser and struggled to lift it back up. Then she heard her back crack.

"Oh, there goes my back!"