Harsh lights beam onto the old bathroom wall. They stab into her like thousands of tiny, individual needles. Dark green eyes bloodshot beyond recognition. Exhausted, terrified, disoriented. Her arms can barely hold herself above the sink. Her ratted hair, her sullen cheeks. What is she going to do? What is she going to do?

Rei stares at the five white sticks scattered across her bathroom floor. It isn't true. It can't be true. She drops her head in shame. Tears roll down her already dried cheeks. Pregnant. I'm pregnant. She falls onto the tiled floor. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO. NO. This has to be a mistake. Some stupid joke. A dream. A nightmare. It can't be real. This can't be happening!

Five false positives, what are the chances of that? It can't be that small, right? She lowers herself even farther to the ground. Her – "Auhhh" – "Urhh". She throws herself to the toilet. Projectile vomit spews from her mouth and lands miraculously into the bowl. The yellow and orange chunks stir as she tiredly reaches up and flushes them down together. That's the third time she's thrown up today, for the third time this week. She slides back down, her whole life a mess. I'm actually fucking pregnant.

She slowly gets up and heads into the living room. Even with the lights off it's hard to walk. Why is everything so dizzy now? She leans on the table for support. Her elbows dig in as her hands grab her hair. What am I going to do? How did this happen? How could it happen!? Why is everything in my life such a disaster!? I'm such a mistake!

She pulls out a chair and sits down, continually shaking her head. This can't be happening. It can't be real. It's all so fuzzy, like she could actually wake up. Her body doesn't feel like her body. This is just her observing some other woman's poor fortune. And it's not just this, but moving on with the rest of her life. How is she going to tell anyone? Her friends, her family. They'd all freak out and ask a million questions if they knew.

What if she just doesn't tell them? Just lives in a cave for the next nine months with no contact with the outside world? Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Her hand slides against her forehead. God. Everything is so fucked. Why here? Why now? Everything is happening so fast.

How could this happen? When was the last time I even saw – Oh. What. No.

It happened. On a pinpoint. It happened.

Dazai. It all comes crashing down.

What about Dazai?

It didn't even occur to her until just now. Holy shit. WHAT THE FUCK?! She's going to have to confront Dazai. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. This couldn't get worse. This couldn't possibly get any fucking worse!

Her fingers start fidgeting. Her hands spasm out of control. Rei runs to the sink to throw up again. I can't tell him. I just can't. She runs it down the drain and looks up at her apartment. There's no way she could tell him, ever. That would be – She can't even wrap her head around how awful that would be. To have to stand there in front of him and tell him that she's pregnant. To have to see his face as she says it. She'd rather just take the bullet up front.

Rei sighs and slugs her way over to her couch. How could this happen? It's not that she could say it'd never be possible. It's just – I Just – Stupid. It's just stupid. It's like all her awful decisions have finally come back to stab her. Two years. For two years she's been fooling around with a fucking mafia executive and it never occurred to her that this could fucking happen?!

Maybe this is right. Maybe this karma or God punishing her for being a complete fucking moron. She stares up at the ceiling, the muted color somehow making her nauseous. How? Literally how. She went on sleeping with a guy known as the "Demon Prodigy" and thought it was a feasible idea? Yeah, she should have seen this one.

What would he say? What would he even think? The most enigmatic person in human history and she has to try and guess what his reaction would be? She ties her hands in her hair in frustration. This is so fucking useless! She has no idea about how he's going to react! She has no idea about anything!

Dazai. Fucking Dazai. Who is he? What does he want? It's like she's a prisoner in some kind of simulation. She can't tell him. She can't. That'd be such a bad idea. Every scenario she runs in her head turns sour. What does he even think of her? He always puts up such a show. All the faces that he wears. From jovial and flirty to death in human form. She runs a hand across her stomach. Why do things have to happen? Why do actions have to have consequences? It'd be so much easier if she could just fucking drown.

And everyone else? She looks around at her dingey ass apartment. What would she even say to them? "Hey so one day I was out walking and I tripped and fell and I got up and I was pregnant." Rei sighs. That seems as good an idea as any. What would they think? Her parents certainly wouldn't be the most thrilled.

She peers down at her torso. Pregnant. I'm growing a life inside me. She shuts her eyes and turns away. No. No. No. Too freaky. Can't think about it. Can't think about it. God, this whole thing is some kind of freaky twilight zone shit. The less she has to deal with it the better. But… She looks down at herself again. I'm going to have to deal with it eventually.

Rei gets up and walks over to the clock on the wall. What am I going to do now? She can't go into work like this. She'd step one foot into the office and they'd wonder if she'd died. But she missed yesterday too. The reflection of her face shadows her like a ghost. She can't keep dodging work forever.

Three days now. It's been three days and Rei hasn't done a single thing. There have been knocks on the door, slips sliding through, calls, texts, everything and the other. Naomi has come by and knocked, Haruno has slipped documents under her door, Kunikida has called, Tanizaki has texted. Everyone has done everything. Everyone but her.

For the past three days it's recurred to her. A name, a single name. He hasn't called her, or texted. And she hasn't reached out either. How can she? It's terrifying. So completely, and utterly, terrifying. What's she supposed to say? "Hey, how's it going? I'm pregnant. Okay, cool. Bye."

This is the scariest thing she's ever done and she hasn't even done it. This guy. He's such a mask. She can't ever tell when he's serious or not. When he's just saying shit or not. She can imagine him being completely stone faced as she talks. Or maybe he'd be angry, or upset.

She takes the phone in her hands, scrolling through the names again and again. It's been days now she's spent doing this. Every time she chickens out, says she'll do it later. I swear to fuck, I'll be doing this for the next nine months of my life.

She sits up and looks at the dim room she's sat in. Maybe I should do it, like really do it. What's the worst that could happen? She shudders at the thought. If there's one thing she knows about Dazai it's that he's capable of things she couldn't dream up in her worst nightmares. But he wouldn't, right? Maybe he'll be nice and just tell her to get lost or something.

Drops start to form in her eyes again. Why does everything always get complicated? This was supposed to be the easier part of her life. All she had to do was see him every once in a while. Hang out here and there, that's it. Now she has to worry if she's going to tell him about the supposed baby they're going to have. Oh god, baby.

Rei runs to the sink to throw up again. This is actually insane. She cannot be thinking about having a kid with him. She takes a couple deep breaths and drinks some water. Maybe it's best if she sees him. Maybe if she sees in person how disgusted he is it'll give her clarity about this whole thing.

What would happen? It can't be that bad, can it? Sure Dazai has killed, threatened, and endangered multiple people right in front of her, but he's had his decent moments too, right? God, what is she even saying? Rei looks out to the rickety doorway. I have to do this.

As much as I don't want to. As much as this might be the worst decision I've ever made. I need to speak with him. I'm so lost, so confused. I need just something, anything, to point me in a direction. She rinses herself off and dries with a towel. This may be the end of her life, but at least she'll see the bullet coming. She gets her stuff and leaves.

Late afternoon hangs in the sky, its darkening deep blue a chrysalis of night. Rei walks from the elevator to the second door of the right hall. She stands before the solid black block and takes a deep, meditative breath. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. She raises a hand up to the structure. It's an entire train ride of building confidence. Her fist opens out, and slides down the frame.

What is she doing? Really, what is she doing? Why did she let herself convince herself that this was a good idea? Well, it's the right decision, isn't it? No, she's not going to let herself go down this hole again. She's already all the way here. What's the worst he could do? Killer her? Kill –? A hand instinctively reaches to her stomach. She wants to throw up again, but holds it.

There are so many ways for this to go wrong and so few for it to be right. But this might just be her best option. Dazai has money, he has influence. Even if he tells her to fuck off, if it's his kid, then surely he'll give some kind of a shit, right? She clutches her head. Everything's starting to spin.

She looks down the hallway. She can still leave. The final swing hasn't been hit yet. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

But do I have to? The question stares back at her as she faces the stoic black fort. I can't just not… She swings her hand and takes the final hit.

It happens, the knock. The clear sound echoes down the hallway. She waits. Her heart pounding, beating out of her chest. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Four seconds. Five seconds. Six…

She takes her hand, knocks, knocks, knocks again. What? No. What's going on? She knocks more and more and more. It's getting more desperate, pleading, begging to be answered. What's going on? WHAT'S GOING ON?! Why this? Why now? I have to talk to you. I need to talk to you.

Rei puts her head to the door. She tries to breathe as much as she can. Why isn't he answering? He never not answers. This isn't some game. She has to see him, she has to. Her eyes flitter to the keypad resting under the handle. She leans over and touches the machine.

It's hopeless. A password protected door? There's no way she can do it. Dazai's the most private person she's ever met. What would his password even possibly be? It'd have to be a secret. Something kept close, even for him. Something no one knows. She closes her eyes in defeat.

My mother died in childbirth.

Her eyes fly open, her hands scrambling to enter in the code. A buzz clicks off and the locks disengage. She puts her hand to the door and it lightly swings open. Her heart beats faster and her mouth is wide. She can't believe that worked.

Rei readies herself and runs into the apartment. If she's going to do this, she's going to do this head on. She charges in, but stops halfway through. There's something, something off. She walks in, slower this time.

It's… empty.

Well, no, it doesn't look much different than normal. But this feeling… it's very, very empty. She inches around, checking everything out as if it's the first time she's seen it. Something's wrong here. Her head snaps up and she runs straight for the bedroom.

It's gone. No, not it, he. He's gone. Dazai isn't here. Panic starts to boil in her blood. He's gone? He's gone?! HE'S GONE?! He can't be gone, not like this. She runs around, flipping the whole place on its side. She checks the bathroom, closets, cabinets, drawers, sink, refrigerator, dishwasher, couch, under the bed. It's worse, and worse, and only gets worse as it goes on. Nowhere. He's nowhere. Everything is gone.

He's left, just completely left. No trace, no sign, no word. He didn't even leave a note behind.

Rei sinks to her knees. It happened. It actually fucking happened. A cry comes out and she can't do anything to stop it. Tears hit hard against the floor. It's all. Fast. It's all. So fast. Water lines and blurs her vision. She fumbles around in her pocket for her phone. Shakily grabbing the piece of technology, she can hardly see as she rushes through the names.

She hits dial and sits back, wiping away at her eyes. It doesn't take long. There isn't an answer, there isn't a disconnect, there isn't even a ring. Rei tips over to the floor. Her body numb to the hard thud it makes.

So this is it. The dagger sticks in her gut. The knot inside her clots and wraps around the blade. There, her innards laid out right in front of her. What comes first? The shock. Or the pain? I – I – I – What did she expect? What did she really think would happen? That this was just magically going to work out?! That there was going to be some happy ending?! THAT HE WOULD ACTUALLY FUCKING BE HERE?!

The pain. The anguish. The twist of the knife laced right into her core. It's stupid. It's so fucking stupid. How could I let this happen to me? The sounds of her cries drown her, flood her, bury her under their sea. The waves pull her down and suffocate her; all she wants is to drown. Everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. Memories of the past two years of her life. I – it – it – was – God, why, she can't even think. I – it was all…

Her body aches, every muscle failing at once. Her lungs can't breathe, her heart can't pump. H – he – he – how could he? How actually fucking could he? So this was it? The truth of it all. Every laugh, every glance. Every lie, every trick, every string that was pulled. Just some play, a twisted fabrication. Because – no, I, no – because…

This is who he is. Lies, nothing but a bag of tricks and lies. Burned once, now burned twice. And she just let it happen. Her vision blurred to the setting sun, her face cracked like parchment as she bawls. Wails deaf to the outside world, her own special room of torture. What did she do? What did she fucking do!? This whole time, nothing. Nothing but play into his hand.

It's all she is. All she was. Why? Why? WHY!? Why did I f – fall for it? Why does it h – hurt so much? I knew – I – I fucking knew. This whole fucking time I knew. It never mattered. It was just some stupid, stupid game. A master manipulator and a puppet for his own amusement. It's so hard to breathe. I ca –

She chokes a fit against the hardwood. Now, crying on the floor. Limp, washed, burned, and crying. She can't stop crying. Th – this is so pathetic. How could he do this? HOW COULD HE DO THIS!? Why can't I – I – I can't – It's so fucking stupid. Just So. Fucking. Stupid. It's not like I – I thought – The image of his face, the sound of his voice. It cuts into her like molten swords branded by the sun. How? Even when she knew. How? To be tricked by the same illusion, made a fool again.

She stares out at the dwindling light. The reaper gliding to great her, maybe she can see the appeal in this kind of thing. It's such a sorry state. Laying out to die for a man who threw her away. Silent streams now flood her body. Like he would ever cry for her. She wasn't even worth a note goodbye.

Rei wipes at her face, though it's completely fucking useless. Night comes and she can't move her body. The world's most fragile stone, crumbled at any moment. Two years. Two years I spent with him, an – an – and now it's all just shit. Flushed down the toilet like shit. Withered, eroded, rotted like a carcass hollowed out by the desert heat and pecked by a swarm of vultures.

It doesn't matter anymore. None of it mattered in the first place. That FUCKING BASTARD! I HATE HIM! She'd throw her fist at the sky, but her arm's too weak to lift it. It's been hours now and she's still weeping, still agonizing, still screaming for the hole that's been ripped out of her chest. It's anger, it's fury, and it's so, so much hurt. Never again. I'll never fall into this trap again.

It's who knows what fucking time. All she knows is that it's black, and cold, and she couldn't care less. Rei hiccups some more and rubs at her eyes again. God, you'd think I'd run out by now. How. How this all happened. I – I t – told myself a m – million times, yet – yet – Her hands crush into her face, the absolute humiliation of it all.

I'm so alone. Lying here, miles away from anyone who cares. All my friends, all my family. On the complete other side of the city. They're over there, in their own homes, laughing, having a great time. While I'm here, in the center of the Port Mafia, pregnant with my face to the ground. She breaks out into another fit of hysterics. Her hands grip tight around her stomach. God, what am I going to do?

Pound. Pound. Pound.

CRASH!

The heavy, composite door busts down in one fell swing. Chuuya keeps a dead-locked face as he straightens out his knees. He puts the battering ram down and takes a step through the threshold. Then he and Mori enter the apartment together.

They only get a few steps in before they sense it. Dazai's not here. It's clear as day without even searching the place. He's gone, ditched, fled like a coward. In his place, on his floor, is a mauve haired woman sleeping soundly without anything else.

The redhead stares at her with some mix of apathy and pity. It's obvious that she's seen better days. He looks out around the empty room. It's a shell of its former self, and even that was pitiful to begin with. As he gazes around from the room to her, it's a somber type of anger that's rare to him. Dazai has left. And he's left all of them.

Mori looks on at the woman, death seething in his eyes. So it seems that Dazai has really gone. His best man. His heir apparent. Able to betray them so easily. And the girl? This is what he's left them? How pathetic. Nothing but a common street dog waiting like a mutt for its master. Not to worry, he'll take care of this. He takes out his scalpel.

Chuuya puts an arm out in front of him. Mori looks at him, shock painted on his face. Insubordination? Dazai, he could see it from Dazai. But Chuuya? There is no way Chuuya would do such an action.

"You wanted him gone because you thought he'd kill you and take your place. Do anything to her, and you're as good as dead." The redhead doesn't look at him while he says it, his eyes kept solely on the woman.

Mori looks back at her. The edges of his eyes somehow sharpen. It'd be so easy to kill her. So fun to kill her. Contempt and bitterness spread over his face. Chuuya is right. For some reason. He puts the scalpel back and walks away. The sharp sounds of his shoes get quiet as they hit the carpet.

Chuuya stands there and continues to stare at her. Just her and him, with little thought coming to his mind. This tiny, minuscule moment shared between them. It won't be one he'd be willing to forget. Her, and him. They have so much in common now, don't they? Maybe if it were a different time.

So another victim got caught in his web. How unfortunate. He turns around and leaves.