Harry Potter and the Man of Unknown
By: Gypsy Silverleaf
First fanfic of HP here, 'tis about an unknown man in Harry's life & that's all I'll give out! :-)
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,605 - Reviews: 618 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 50 - Published: Sep 4, 1999 - id: 3803
Yemi Hikari chapter 1 . Sep 19, 2019
I'll start off my review by pointing out the act of publishing the first story in a fandom actually isn't an achievement. The reason the act of publishing the first story isn't an achievement comes down to the fact anybody can publish the first story, but more importantly a person could easily slap together something just so they can achieve such status.
Holy shit is this really happening? I mean CU is really going after a author that wrote the story in 1999 ... 21 fucking years ago?! Are you that bored that you decide to attack someone whom pretty much hasn't been active since 2003?!
Not only did you attack the first chapter but you attacked three MORE chapters!
On the positive side, the story isn't one the writer threw together. On the negative side the writer feels the most important thing regarding the story is the fact said story is the first Harry Potter fanfic, for this even trumps the rather vague summary in the summary part. Even the vagueness of the summary speaks volumes.
Diving into the actual first chapter, the writer spends a lot of time describing a place which looks like a castle in the sky, yet actually isn't. The narrative brags about how this is the only place which starts school in August despite the fact this really isn't anything brag worthy yet sounds like something to make the school match the typical timeframe American schools start off. We're also supposed to believe the headmistress is renowned despite the fact we've never heard of her in the canon material. Even more strange is how the caretaker appears closely related to Filch, the caretaker from Hogwarts. Even the fact the school is for girls seems like something meant to make the place special rather than adding something to the story.
As for Professor Erwin, in this chapter he acts like an intitled brat rather than someone who is an adult let alone in charge of teaching impressionable youth. This idea that he tried expelling students because they spoke the name of Harry Potter is ridiculous yet extreme for any teacher, yet the writer tries to hard telling the writer everyone hates this character as if they're trying to out do Professor Snape. The way he acts when Harry defeats Voldemort again is childish. If not childish, then it is – as another reviewer pointed out – a sign he's suffering from a major psychological disorder.
In fact, the entire first chapter is Erwin throwing a tantrum despite clearly being an adult. In fact, this was over 3,000 words of him throwing a tantrum. The fact he's been a nonexistent person in Harry's life is honestly – given the brattish attitude – actually a good thing.