A/N: Hello! I just came home from my little writing retreat in the abbey of Marienstatt. It's a really beautiful place and if you ever come near Hachenburg, you should pay this place a visit. I brought two chapters and a short Stormpilot ficlet home with me, and suffice to say, I'm fairly happy with both.

Chapter 54 will be coming to you tomorrow. Have a nice weekend!

Chapter 53

2008

His parents spotted them before they'd even stepped up to the front door. They themselves had only arrived a few hours previously to check up on the house and had been planning to stay for the rest of the week.

It had taken Alex some time getting used to being welcome in Evan's family, but despite her earlier reservations she was glad to have them here now. To tell them and for the first time since telling Evan, this felt real. David had pulled her towards him the moment Evan had spoken the words. We're having a baby.

She could still feel them reverberating in the air as first his father, then his mother swooped her up in their arms, pulling Evan in as well. A kiss landed on her temple and she knew it was David. He didn't say anything, just held her tight to his chest and Molly was the first to let go. She wiped her eyes, kissed her son on the cheek and took a deep breath. "You've come to stay?" She asked hopefully and Alex felt her heart sink straight away. She dropped her arms and took a step back.

"No, we're going back on Friday."

"But-"

"It's safe," Evan said, before she could protest even more. "Don't worry."

Molly's eyes narrowed, but after a brief exchange of looks with her husband, she turned away. "I'll warm up some dinner for you."

"Thanks." Evan nodded and put an arm around Alex's shoulders. "I'll get the bags from the car." Bags which were barely filled, but which they'd take back twice as heavy. Anna had given them an extra long list of supplies she wanted for her baby in addition to the chocolate she wanted them to get for her.

"Don't you want to tell your mother?" Molly asked, already on her way to the kitchen. She'd made soup and before Alex had even entered the kitchen, she'd put the pot on the stove and was starting to heat it up. David sat down at the kitchen table and folded his hands, his eyes darting between his wife and Alex. As usual, he'd assumed the role of spectator rather than participant.

"Yes, I'm going to call her tomorrow. And Ellen and Adam."

Molly nodded, opening one of the drawers and taking out a soup ladle. She was as familiar with the layout of the kitchen as she was with her own, which told Alex only too well that she and David spent more time here than was strictly necessary. Not that Alex minded. This house was barely tended as it was, and in a way she was relieved Nora had visitors every once in a while, no matter how ridiculous that idea sounded to her.

"Why-"

"I love my job. Evan loves what he does. And, like he said, it's as safe there as it can get." She heard the door slam outside and knew that Evan would be back soon.

Molly scoffed, but didn't object again. Instead she stirred the soup almost vigorously. "How long will you be gone this time?"

Alex huffed and shrugged. "I don't know."

"You can't fly right towards the end, you know that, right? And you won't want to put your baby through that."

"Mom, would you please stop badgering her? We know what we're doing here." Evan had appeared behind Alex and dropped the bags at the very same moment his mother's head snapped around.

"You say that now, but-"

"Molly," David interrupted her quietly and Molly pressed her lips together and fell silent. And Alex knew exactly what she was thinking. Nora had been born without either of them even knowing they had a granddaughter. And she'd been missing and nobody knew where she was, or why she'd been taken hostage… and now they had a grandchild on the way and they had no idea where it would be born.

Alex sighed. "I guess we'll see."

Molly's eyes were fixed on the big pot as she stirred the soup within. "Our things are in the smaller guest room."

"Mom, you know you can sleep in the master bedroom while we're away."

David scoffed. "No, thanks."

Alex wasn't entirely sure whether to blush or not, but before she could decide, Evan took her hand and pulled her with him to the staircase. She grabbed one bag, Even the other, then followed him past his paintings, past the photograph of them with Nora. She looked at it every day. She had it with her on every mission and it was in their quarters on Atlantis, but seeing it here, right now, was different. She paused for a moment, looking at the tiny face with the dark hair and the blue eyes. At the small nose and pink, rosy lips. Would the child she was carrying look like that? Would it feel terrible if it did? Would she then finally feel like she was betraying the memory of the child they'd lost?

"You coming?" Evan was already at the top of the stairs, but he didn't sound impatient. Just a little bit concerned maybe. He was tired. She knew that. The day quarantine on Midway hadn't been restful. He'd busied himself with work so he didn't have to think about Javier. Not that she blamed him.

He'd barely slept since Javier had died, and him turning around in bed, getting up and lying back down again had kept her from sleeping properly. And she hated seeing him like this. He didn't feel guilty, she knew that, but he was restless and she doubted it would pass that soon.

The bags landed on their bed with a soft thud. "She changes the sheets every time," he muttered and let himself drop down next to the bag. "Just in case."

Alex hadn't really paid attention, but he was right. The sheets had been changed, and not by her or by him. They had a housekeeper come in every couple of weeks to dust and clean, but it was his mother who took care of the rest. Otherwise they'd come home to a dusty run-down home every few months.

"You know, the next time we come here it might not be just the two of us."

He nodded. "The thought had occurred to me as well." He was silent for a moment and sank back so he was lying down on the mattress. "We're not exactly well prepare for that, are we?" He was looking up at the ceiling, his face relaxed. "And we still can't be sure if-"

"What did we say about not jinxing it?" Him voicing his doubts gave her a little pang. But he wasn't entirely wrong. She lay down next to him and reached for his hand. Their legs were touching and she felt an itch to take off her shoes. They were the same boots she wore on Atlantis every day. There was little to no use creating a collection of shoes when there were only effectively three pairs you could wear all year round. She was so used to them she barely felt them anymore, but all she wanted to do now was take them off and feel the soft warm carpet underneath her feet. But that would have meant sitting up again and she doubted that could be achieved anytime soon.

Evan's thumb gently moved over the back of her hand. "We should go shopping, right?"

She nodded. The things they'd bought for Nora, her clothes, her bedsheets, her toys and all the other things they'd needed, were stowed away in the attic and Alex couldn't bear the thought of putting those clothes on another child. "Maybe," she began, "we could put the crib together at least." The car seat had been given to another member of the SGC some time ago, and the same was true for the pram. But the crib- the crib was still there.

Evan's fingers tightened around hers. Nora had died in that crib. Throwing it out had been out of the question. So had been selling it. It was still in the bigger of the two guest rooms. Still in pieces and still leaning against the far wall next to the bed. There was a reason why nobody ever slept in there. Why his parents preferred the smaller room of the two. "I don't know," he sighed and sat up to untie his own shoes. He was far more active then her these days. Or maybe he was just restless.

"No, me either."

On Larsa he'd built one, or he'd been almost done building it when things had gone south. This one they had now had been bought in a rush, there was nothing too special about it. Except for the fact that it was Nora's. Would putting another baby in there mean they were substituting? Would it feel like that? And did they want to risk feeling like they did?

There were steps outside and Alex wasn't surprised to find David leaning in the doorway. "Are you coming?"

Evan nodded. "Dad?" he sounded younger somehow as he said it now. Alex couldn't put her finger on why that was, but he did, and she felt her heart contract.

"Hm?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how terrible would it be to use the crib again?"

"Not at all," David said after a brief pause and Alex sat up to look at him. Evan had his chin, she realized not. And the crinkles around his eyes were a lot like Evan's. "You know," he said, taking a step into the room and sitting down next to Alex, "I had a little brother and he died very young."

Evan nodded. "Yes, I know."

"I'm so sorry," Alex whispered. She'd never heard that story, but she accepted David taking her hand now.

"My parents had another kid not a year after little Caleb died. Your aunt Michaela. And I think it was the best thing that could have happened to them. They never forgot about him, they just kept going. Life goes on, you know? And you losing Nora will always be part of your history. She'll be part of your family."

Evan sighed and kicked off his shoes.

They would have used that crib again had Nora lived and had they decided to have another child.

It was the only argument that could help them make a decision. After dinner, Evan went straight up to the bigger bedroom and started putting it together again. With every turn of every screw, with each piece he secured against the other, he felt the tears rising in his throat. He'd asked Alex not to come along. Not to help him.

The worst thing was that he didn't feel like he was betraying Nora.

The worst thing was that he was looking forward to filling this room with life.

Nora had never been inside this house.

Nora had never slept inside this room.

But this was her bed.

He pushed away the unopened box of books they'd schlepped from their old house into this one and which would probably remain unopened for the rest of their lives, and secured the last screw.

Plain, light brown wood. Soft to the touch and yet it looked rustic and beautiful. He let his hand glide over the slight curve of the foot-end and wiped away the tears with the other. One day he'd tell his child whose bed this had been. One day he'd let them in on the pain and the joy and the way just looking at it took his breath away.

He'd put this thing together the first time. A few months later he'd taken it apart again with shaking hands and yet he'd been careful not to break anything. Breaking it would have been like tearing apart his own child. This bed had kept his daughter safe for a while. They'd put Nora in there every night. They'd stood over it more often than he could remember, unable to believe their luck. At having her back. At having each other. The two of them, him and Alex, had been all that remained. Well, and that bed.

Outside he heard a car pass by the house. It must be close to midnight, and so far only his mother had gone to bed. He could still hear Alex and his father talking quietly downstairs. He couldn't make out the words and he hadn't paid attention to what they were saying. Slowly, he got to his feet, brushed his hand over the wood again and decided to buy some paint the next day. It was a good compromise, he thought. And maybe, over the course of the next few months, he'd find the time to paint a couple of cheery pictures for the room.

The things they'd get for Atlantis would have to be shipped there with the Daedalus or the Apollo. There was just no way they could carry two cribs and the massive amounts of baby supplies Anna and Murdoch had asked for, including the stuff they'd decided to bring for Teyla and the stuff they'd need once the time came. There was simply too much to bring and the other two children came first. Teyla had obtained a crib from a trader and maybe they'd do that too. Just get what they could from there.

Evan turned off the light and made his way down the staircase. His father and Alex were sitting in the living room and when Evan reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard what they were talking about. Really, this shouldn't have come as a surprise.

"You're not on Earth?"

Alex was quiet and his heart sank. His father was still at it. He'd hinted at a few things these past few months and Evan just knew that he must have tried contacting some of his old friends. His father hadn't been in the army, but he had some friends who had been, or still were. So, of course he'd tried. For a moment Evan wondered if he'd been able not to investigate after all the outrageous stories his parents had been told. About where he and Alex had gone missing. About Nora. About what had happened in Germany.

His father was a historian. He liked digging for information, so, of course he wouldn't give up when people told him no. Especially not if it concerned his own family.

"Dad?" He walked into the room. Alex had changed into her pyjamas and was wearing the thick woollen socks her brother had given her for Christmas the previous year. His father was sitting in the chair opposite the couch, still in jeans and the usual brown pullover, holding a glass of wine and he looked up at Evan.

"You keep telling me not to ask questions, but I don't really have any more questions to ask."

Evan swallowed hard and sat down next to Alex, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close, careful not to force her to spill the tea she was holding close to his chest. She threw him an almost defeated look and shrugged.

"Why do you keep pushing us?"

"I'm not, I'd just like to know whether my grandchild will be born on another planet?"

Evan sighed. "No, dad," he lied. They'd come to the point where he had to lie to his father outright. Because he was forcing him to. This couldn't end well. "What a ridiculous idea, I-"

"What's a Goa'uld?" His father was holding his gaze and Evan took care not to blink.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"A Goa'uld."

His mouth was bone dry and it was all he could do not to blink.

Alex shifted uncomfortably by his side. "Never heard of that term."

"I found something on the internet after the last time you visited. Don't look so surprised, I'm not ancient. Turns out, there's this guy who published a couple of stories. They were taken off his official homepage some time ago, but, as the saying goes, the internet doesn't forget. And it's right. I found the stories."

"Since when are you into fiction?" He'd almost slipped and dropped the term science as well. He recalled exactly the case of a couple of years ago, when General O'Neill was still in charge of the SGC. About the man who had picked up an Ancient communication device and had shared some, if not all of O'Neill's memories of past missions. He had posted some of those stories on the internet, Evan remembered. And the Air Force had made sure they were deleted. Well, apparently they hadn't done their job thoroughly enough.

His father smiled softly and shook his head. "I found the stories by typing in your name, Evan. It appears in one of those stories. So does Alex's." The smile slowly but surely vanished and Evan couldn't move. He knew exactly what mission report the idea for that story must have come from.

"Dad-"

"Is that what happened to you? To Nora? Is this what you do?! Is this actually true?!"

Evan looked down at the coffee table. At the stain which the rim of his father's wine glass had left on the white wood. He felt Alex sit up straight next to him. She'd tell him, and he felt like a coward for not being able to meet his father's gaze.

"David, please, you can't tell anyone."

Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.

His father gasped and only when he heard the tell-tale hiccup, did Evan manage to look up again. His father was crying. And he'd barely ever seen his father shed tears. It broke his hear to see him like this, but there was nothing he could have done to comfort him. Nothing to say.

His father's shoulders were shaking as he sat there, looking at them both, his mouth covered by his hand. His shoulders shaking with silent sobs and Evan's heart sank. "Dad…" he muttered. "I-"

"And you want to do this again? You want to-"

"Dad, you can't tell mom anything! Please! And I promise you, what ever you think-" he broke off, closing his eyes to compose himself and telling himself that it was no use lying to his father anymore, "whatever happened is not going to happen again. Where we are is safe. As safe as it can be, I assure you. We're not in any more danger there than we are here."

Shaking his head, his father got up and left the room, leaving Evan and Alex sitting on the couch. He didn't believe them, or he didn't want to. Which, Evan couldn't say.

Alex patted his knee and got up. She'd always gotten along better with his father than with his mother. "Looks like the cat's out of the bag, huh?" she said quietly and followed his father into the kitchen.