A/n: I only own Ellie; all other characters that you recognize are the property of Marvel.
A/n2: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! So we are on Winter break and I've gotten a fair bit of writing done. I'll admit, I am about one or two chapters away from Infinity War and its hard. I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve even when I'm writing by putting myself in my characters shoes, so I apologize ahead of time because I've been crying. April in the story will be a hard month. Thank you, everyone, who is reading, please review so I know what you think. Remember even a "More soon!" just so I know people are reading this is much appreciated!
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life, And I mustn't give in.
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
~ Memory from Cats the Musical
*~*~* March 10, 2018 – Rome *~*~*
Ellie stepped out of the hired car as they reached the wall marked 'Mvsei Vaticani'
"I can't believe we are here," Ellie said amazed as she adjusted Grant against her in his sling.
"This is the Vatican?" Bucky asked confused, "A giant wall?"
Ellie sighed, "The city is behind the wall Buck. This is the wall to protect it"
Bucky glanced over at the stand next to the entrance, "Want bibite, gelati, cold drinks or ice cream?"
"Do you need to go back to the hotel?" Ellie asked glaring at him.
"Sorry, I know this is special for you and there is nowhere else I'd rather be on my birthday than with you and Grant," He told her as he kissed the top of his son's head, "Although, in bed all day maybe but this will do," Bucky said as he took her hand, "So where to first?"
"The Vatican City museum," Ellie told him, "Entrance is right there"
After entrance through the security, they walked to the main annex.
"Where to?" Bucky asked.
Ellie looked at the map, "Left I guess or… we can just go to the courtyard. Look" She said as she looked out the window, "It's the basilica"
Bucky shook his head, "You were a really good Catholic girl growing up weren't you"
"Mom made sure of it," Ellie said with a sigh as she looked at him, "I know you… believe but with everything that has gone on, would you be okay with-" She asked glancing down at the now sleeping Grant.
"Grant going to church? Yes, Angel, I'd be fine with it. I believe… I just… I don't understand why things happened to me… to us the way they did. Why us, you know?" Bucky asked giving her a half-smile.
Ellie ran her hand over Grant's head and he moved his head towards it in his sleep, "I don't know and I wish I did but… he has a bigger plan for us. We may not understand it until it happens but he does" Ellie told him as she pulled him forward, "Come on, let's go into the courtyard"
They walked to the courtyard roof and looked out at the garden below. Hand in hand they explored the different buildings. Ellie was amazed, taking in the different artworks from various -periods.
After the Egyptian Gallery, some of the museums of the Vatican and the Gardens, they made it to Leonardo DiVinci's museum just around the time Grant woke up.
Bucky took him from her to hold him for a bit.
"Look at this ceiling," Ellie said as she gazed up at the artwork.
"Have you tried to paint before?" Bucky asked rocking Grant, "I know I went with Steve to classes but I don't remember you going"
"No… I have a feeling I'd be horrible at it" Ellie told him as they walked through a room with hundreds of sculptures and busts.
"I think you should try. Give you something to do… later on" Bucky told her.
Ellie sighed as she squeezed his hand tighter, "Well I guess Steve and I could share the studio… if I am any good"
"I think you could easily paint any of these" Bucky said looking up at the panels on the ceiling.
"You're hilarious. These are prized works of art by artists way more talented than I could ever be" Ellie told him as she saw a sign ahead, "Cappella Sistina!"
"I'm guessing that is roman for Sistine Chapel?" Bucky asked seeing her face.
"Come on," Ellie said as she pulled him to the stairs.
They walked down the stairs and Ellie walked into the Chapel.
"Look at the scale of this" Ellie said amazed as she craned her neck up.
"It is kinda amazing," Bucky said looking around noticing that even Grant was taking it in, "Look at the details"
"Michelangelo painted all of this by looking up just like us and it took him three years to paint all of this" Ellie informed Bucky amazed.
Bucky smiled as he watched the smile on her face then had to look away so he would not cry.
Ellie sighed buttoning up her shirt as she climbed into bed next to Bucky.
"You ok?" Bucky asked rolling onto his side and pulling her into his arms.
Ellie nodded, "Just a little… sad I guess"
Bucky kissed her then rested his forehead against hers, "Don't be. I had a wonderful birthday"
Ellie closed her eyes, "Let's get married"
"We are, on our-"
"Not the big one… a little ceremony with just our closest friends in Wakanda. At the spot overlooking the waterfall?" Ellie suggested as she opened her eyes, "Nothing big but…. I still want to do something"
"Then still having the big ceremony later on?" Bucky asked.
Ellie nodded.
"I can't wait to see how gorgeous you will be," Bucky said as he kissed her.
Ellie let him pull her into his arms, "I'm so tired Bucky"
"I know you are," Bucky told her rubbing her back, "We did a lot today. Go to sleep baby, you get to see the Pope tomorrow"
"I…I think… future me is trying to visit" Ellie mumbled into his chest, "Has to… I'm too sleepy too easy"
"Rest Angel, you deserve it," Bucky said as he pushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.
She closed her eyes and Bucky felt her body relax then nearly immediately her eyes opened as she inhaled.
"Fuck, I thought I would never go to sleep," She told him as she stretched.
Bucky laughed, "When are you visiting from?"
"Still March 10, 2021, but I just wanted to cuddle with you on your birthday then fall asleep in your arms," Ellie told him as she folded in on him and rested her head on his chest, "Now that I am remembering more… I am missing more all over again. It is almost like I can feel you with me"
Bucky laced his fingers through hers as they rested together on his stomach, "I will always be with you"
"No, you don't understand what I mean… since the accident, it's almost like… I feel you there, your presence is there" Ellie told him shaking her head as she sighed, "Anyways…so Steve and I are in Arizona at the Grand Canyon. It's beautiful Buck. Although thank god I have fast reflexes. Grant tried to go past the safety area. Gave my brain a workout as I quickly bolted before the pain hit"
"Are you still in pain?" Bucky asked concerned.
Ellie shrugged, "It's just my damn leg. It's nearly there and Helen Cho thinks that she can fix it the rest of the way with one last break and with some of her technology. I told her that I wanted to wait until this trip. I should have waited through because hiking was been difficult" Ellie told him sadly, "I just wanted to do something fun for the kids. Steve and I would take them places together and suddenly I was down for the count and they were stuck inside and in school"
"They are going to school?" Bucky asked surprised.
"Just a little school in town that is through the Catholic church. I am not sure if I am going to send Grant to their elementary school or not" Ellie told him, "He isn't even three and a half so I don't want to think about that yet"
Bucky laid back against his pillow placing his arm under his head, "God he is three. It blows my mind sometimes."
Ellie sat up and moved to sit next to him on the headboard, then ran her fingers through his hair as he moved his head into her lap, "I am sorry Bucky... I am so sorry to put you through this. To torture you with every visit just to make myself happier"
"Baby look at me," Bucky said as he sat up and pulled her onto his lap, "This isn't torturing. I'm happy that you are okay and the kids are okay. You give me updates on Steve, he is okay. How are he and Nat doing by the way?"
Ellie sighed as she closed her eyes then opened them looking at him, "They broke up. Right around the time of my accident"
"Shit, what happened?" Bucky asked surprised rubbing the skin of her back.
Ellie laughed, "I don't remember it obviously but they realized that they loved each other but… not enough to tie each other down forever. Nat said she never dreamt of the wedding of her dreams. They are still together but not really… together if that makes sense. Steve lives with me and Nat lives at the compound. She is the leader of the Avengers now"
"What about the kids?" Bucky asked concerned.
"Here at the house with me and Steve. Nat stays at the house on the weekends. It's not like she doesn't see them at all. Unless she has a mission or is investigating something, Sarah and the twins stay with her during the day while Steve works at the hospital. Tony has made up… Wanda's old room as a playroom for all the kids. I take Grant to school and go to either the compound as well or Manhattan" Ellie told him, "Oh Steve got a job as a group therapist at the hospital. He is a grief counselor. He finished his bachelor's degree already and is working on his masters. He has been able to sail through the courses thanks to his memory"
Bucky smiled, "Good for Steve. Have you thought of taking up modeling again?" He asked pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Modeling? God no. My face was too messed up. While the scars aren't entirely visible thanks to Doctor Cho… my face is affected. I don't even like looking in the mirror anymore. My face… it's not the same Buck. Plus you can't be a model when you can't walk in heels" Ellie told him.
"You'll be back at it by next year," Bucky told her.
Ellie scoffed, "I don't know about that" Ellie told him, "After Steve finding going to school so easy… I think I might go back to get my doctorate in Psychology but I am not sure if that is what I want to do anymore. I don't know what to do honestly. I'm running Stark for Pepper but it doesn't make me happy"
Ellie moved into his hand as he placed his hand on her face, "Has… has Sebastian came to visit?" Bucky asked.
Ellie looked at him pulling away as if she were shocked, "What?"
"Sebastian Stan… did he visit you at all that you remember?" Bucky asked interested.
"No, why would he?" Ellie asked confused.
"Before the accident, you and he were getting close" Bucky told her.
Ellie frowned as she stood up and walked over to the window to look out at the town.
Bucky walked up behind her and put his arms around her.
"How could I?" Ellie asked as a tear slipped down her cheek.
"How could you what?" Bucky asked as he pulled her into his arms.
Ellie grabbed onto his undershirt and cried into his chest, "I cheated on you and you are okay with it? With a man that looks so much like you"
Bucky kissed the top of her head, "You didn't cheat on me because nothing ever happened past two barely dates. At least from what you have told me"
Ellie looked at him with her glittering tear-filled eyes, "What if I did? I could never live with myself, Buck. God… every moment… especially since the accident, I wonder what you would do. I don't remember much about the accident but the pain… all I remember was wondering if you were in that much pain when you died. I thought I was dying… hell they don't know how I didn't die"
"Thank God you didn't," Bucky said resting his chin on her head as he swallowed hard.
Ellie bit her lip, "They think I was imagining things but Buck… I swear someone was there with me. I remember talking to someone, someone was keeping me calm. There was no one there though. Tony is the one that found me and… there was no one with me. I was passed out by then"
Bucky ran his hand over her hair, "Tony found you?"
Ellie nodded, "He used FRIDAY to track my phone or car… somehow when I didn't show up on time. He flew to the location and found me. The problem was the way my car was positioned and how I was pinned, he couldn't free me. It was at night and there wasn't a whole lot of traffic. No one understands why I was even on that highway. Our brand new car… thank goodness for the safety aspects of it… but it was destroyed. The engine was practically in the passenger seat. Tony ended up calling some more suits to stabilize the car. He told me it was resting on the nose of the vehicle and the back end was angled into the bridge I fell off of-"
"Wait you fell off a bridge?" Bucky asked shocked.
Ellie nodded, "I either fell asleep or lost control on the ice, the car went over the wall and of course it was right there was no safety fence. There is now, Tony made sure of it. The car tumbled down the embankment and came to rest at the foot of the bridge. No one reported it or saw it because it was at night and the front end of the car was destroyed so no lights. I guess the tail lights must have been destroyed too. No one saw the lights. Tony found me approximately 4 hours later from what when they think I went over. Something… for some reason I didn't freeze to death, I was so low on blood and I did have some hypothermia"
"God Ellie," Bucky said as he held her to him tightly.
"I'm okay… I'm alive Buck. I think… I think you were my angel there with me" Ellie told him as she ran her hand through his hair then pulled his face to hers.
Bucky ducked his head down and kissed her hard, bumping their noses together as he desperately wanted to be closer to her. Ellie adjusted and lifted her hand to his face running her hand over his rough stubble.
She let out a shaky breath as he nipped at her jaw then ran his hand down her side to cup her bottom then ran his hand between her legs to press his thumb against the seam of her PJ pants. Ellie grabbed for the string of his sweatpants and yanked on the front of them to pull them down then slid her pants down her legs.
Ellie looked into his eyes as he laid her back gently on the bed, "We don't need to be careful. Nothing happens"
Bucky took her lips in his as he held her against him and with a flex of her hips, she sighed as she was whole again.
"Jesus," Bucky said as he put an arm around her and held her to him tightly.
Ellie smiled as she held onto him as he rested his head on her chest listening to her heartbeat. After a few minutes she clenched down on him and he moved his head back to meet her mouth. Then down her neck and bit her shoulder as she moved against him.
"I'm okay Buck," Ellie said as she touched his face.
The next 30 minutes were bringing each other to the brink over and over, tears shared between them and both of them enjoying the feeling of being complete.
Bucky collapsed against her and held her as she trembled with aftershocks. He kissed her eyes as she held her eyes closed tight and a few tears slipped out.
"This is the most alive I've felt since the accident," Ellie said enjoying the heaviness of his body on her as she tugged at his hair and tightened her leg around his waist. Enjoying the fact she could easily move her left leg.
Running her hand down his back, she sighed as she buried her face in his hair, "I don't want to go back" She said blinking away her tears.
"I don't want you to go back either" Bucky whispered as he kissed her neck.
Ellie sighed, "I have to though… I can't stay asleep forever. I try to visit at night when they won't wake me up. I tell Steve so he sits in my room and watches over me unless I visit like I did this morning when the kids aren't there. If I stay awake all night here… not only will my body be exhausted here but mentally I'll be wiped there. This is my longest visit since the accident… I'm just glad I can hold it this long mentally. Physical therapy might work my legs and the rest of my body but… only you can work my brain like this. I… I never have issues when I visit" She told him as she ran her hand over her forehead and smiled at him, "I have the mental slip-ups when I am…there… in your…my future" She said as she closed her eyes and sighed.
"Angel, it will be our future. Just got to have a little more faith" Bucky told her.
Ellie sighed, "Its hard Buck. I want to believe but… it's hard to keep the faith sometimes"
"Then I just need to have faith enough for both of us," Bucky said as the moon shined through the window as the clouds parted in the sky and smiled, "See he agrees. I see the moon, and the moon sees me, God bless the moon, and God bless me"
"There is a children's song that I sang to Grant and the girls when I put them to sleep. I see the moon and the moon sees me, the moon sees somebody I wanna see. God bless the moon and God bless me: And God bless that somebody I wanna see" Ellie told him.
"I like that version," Bucky said as Grant started fussing and he looked at the clock, "Shit its 2 am"
Ellie smiled as she peeled herself out of his arms and walked over to his travel crib, "Hey little man"
Grant smiled when he saw her and she picked him up.
Ellie walked over to the bed and sat down then started feeding Grant, "I missed this… this closeness" She told Bucky as Grant sucked away.
Bucky kissed her shoulder, "When I come back, we will have another baby"
Ellie sighed as she looked down at Grant, "I hope so…we will see. I have my plate pretty full but we will see what God has in plans… when it happens"
Bucky laid back on the bed and watched her with a smile.
"What?" Ellie asked.
"Nothing, just enjoying this sight," Bucky told her.
Ellie grinned, "Enjoying the sight myself… you all naked and beautiful"
Bucky snorted, "Men aren't beautiful. We are handsome… right, Grant?"
Ellie rolled her eyes as Grant pulled away from her breast smacking his lips together and frowning, "See he is frowning, you agree with Momma"
She held him and rocked him for a bit as he drifted off to sleep against her breast. She kissed his head then laid him down back inside his crib. Picking Bucky's shirt off the floor, she slipped it over her head then climbed back into bed next to him.
Bucky pulled her into his arms and Ellie smiled, "I hope you had a great birthday baby" Ellie said as she kissed him.
"Well, a great birthday but… nothing can top last year… getting you back in my life" Bucky told her.
Ellie's chin quivered, "My birthday this year? You being my present?"
Bucky rubbed her back, "If I had the power to do it I would in a heartbeat"
"I know you would," Ellie told him as she kissed his chest, "I love you Bucky… so much"
"I love you too… close your eyes… you need your rest" Bucky told her as he ran his hand down her arm.
Ellie relaxed into his body and yawned. Within five minutes Bucky felt her body relax as she drifted off.
Bucky kissed the top of her head and held her closer to him as he too closed his eyes.
*~*~* March 11, 2018 – Rome *~*~*
Ellie looked around from their place on St. Peter's Square and looked at Bucky, who was rocking Grant in his arms as he talked to him, "I can't believe we are here"
Bucky looked at her with a smile, "I'm glad we were able to do this"
"Me too," Ellie said as the whole area seemed to buzz with anticipation as they gazed at a window above with a flag hanging beneath it.
Suddenly a figure appeared at the window and everyone cheered.
"Cari fratelli e sorelle, buongiorno!" The Pope said after he appeared.
Bucky leaned over to Ellie, "It's in… what language?"
"Italian" Ellie said, "Hold on… I'll translate"
"Rejoice, Jerusalem" — thus, it is a call to joy — "Be joyful, all who were in mourning". This is how the Mass begins. What is the reason for this joy? The reason is God's great love for mankind, as today's Gospel passage tells us: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life". These words, spoken by Jesus during the encounter with Nicodemus, summarize a theme that lies at the center of the Christian message: even when the situation seems desperate, God intervenes, offering man salvation and joy. Indeed, God does not remain apart from us, but enters the history of mankind; he "meddles" in our life; he enters, in order to animate it with his grace and save it" Ellie translated, "We are called to listen to this message, rejecting the temptation to value our own self-confidence, to think we can do without God, to claim absolute freedom from him and from his Words. When we find the courage to recognize ourselves for what we are — this takes courage! — We realize we are people called to take our weaknesses and our limitations into account. So it may happen that we are gripped by… anguish, by anxiety… about the future" Ellie said as she swallowed, "by fear of illness and death. This explains why many people, searching for a way out, sometimes take dangerous shortcuts such as, for example, the path of drugs or that of superstition or disastrous magic rituals"
Bucky pulled her to his side and kissed the side of her head.
Ellie looked at the map in her hand as Bucky pushed Grant through the crowds, "According to this map, the Largo di Torre Argentina the possible place that Julius Caesar was killed is up ahead. Temples A, B, C, and D"
They walked over to the overlook and looked down, "I can't believe how old this is and what it is still here" Bucky said as they looked down upon it.
Ellie tilted her head as she looked down on it, "Wait… are those cats?"
Bucky laughed, "Yeah, there is there is another over there," Bucky said pointing at the white cat.
"There is a spotted one over there," Ellie said.
"There are many cats. They are taken care of with great care" A woman told them pointing to a sign.
"Gees there are like 10 of them," Ellie said watching a white one walk along a wall and look at them.
It jumped onto the wall below them and scaled the ledge and jumped under the railing by them then rubbed up against Bucky's feet.
Ellie laughed, "I think you have a new friend"
Bucky knelt next to it, "Hi there kitty"
The cat rubbed his legs as it went in between them.
Bucky reached his hand out and the cat butted it as it pushed against his hand.
"Pet it," Ellie told him.
Bucky smiled as it let him scratch, behind their ears and then flipped onto its side.
Ellie knelt next to it and rubbed behind its ears, "I always wanted a cat"
Bucky looked over at her, "Then we will get one"
"Come on Bucky," Ellie said shaking her head, "Steve can't-"
"Steve doesn't have allergies anymore babe" Bucky told her with a smile as the cat moved over to her and rubbed her legs.
"Well shit," Ellie said as she petted it, "When we get back to New York we will look into it"
Bucky laughed as he stood up and the cat reached up on his leg, "This one wants us to bring him home I think"
"That wouldn't exactly work," Ellie told him sadly, "It wouldn't be fair on a poor innocent cat to have to travel all that way"
Bucky went to pick the cat up and it became scared and ran away, "Well that answers that"
*~*~* March 12, 2018 – Pompeii *~*~*
Ellie and Bucky followed their tour guide and group as she led them down a walking road.
"This is the Marine gate, one of eight entrances to Pompeii. Each named according to where it would take you" She told the group as they walked up towards an entranceway, "The smaller gate is for people. The larger was for carts and animals"
She turned to the left and pointed in the distance.
"Do you see the volcano?" She asked them as she pointed to it in the distance, "That is Vesuvius. He is sleeping. We are very happy that he is sleeping. We are walking on the volcanic stone from the eruption"
"When was the last eruption?" Ellie asked as they walked up the path.
"1944 but not as major as Pompeii. Pompeii was a vacation spot because there was a large earthquake 15 years before the eruption. People feared to return so it became a vacation place. They did not realize that Mt. Vesuvius was a volcano. There were earthquakes and hints to something major the day before the eruption so many people evacuated. The volcano erupted at lunchtime the next day" She informed the group, "Here is the forum. They did not have a draining system so the roads were always wet with rain" She told them, "The areas that are gated were homes and open places were stores"
"Up here on the left is Casa Di Trittolemo. Follow me" She said as the group of 10 followed her through a set of gates.
Bucky took Ellie's hand as they walked down the path.
"This was the house of Triptolemus, the son of the King of Eleusis. Much of this was destroyed in World War 2" She told everyone, "Many of the walls are still intact and writings on the walls as well as a Fresco depicting his life." She said as they reached the art behind glass, "Follow me please past the courtyard which was within the house"
Ellie's phone rang and Bucky looked at her as she looked at it once pulling it from her back pocket, "It's Nat"
Ellie put her phone to her ear as they let the group go in front of them so they were in the back, "Hey Nat, how are you?"
"Bored out of my mind. How is Rome?" Natasha asked.
"Amazing we are in Pompeii right now getting a tour," Ellie told her as they followed their guide around various areas of the house, "It's Amazing what is left after all these years. Have you heard from Steve?"
Natasha sighed, "Yesterday for a brief moment. They think they found a sleeper cell of a Hydra division"
Ellie looked at Bucky and he looked at her concerned as he read her face, "How... How... I thought they were gone"
"All it takes is one Ellie... One left and they get people convinced of their ideologies... Then they are back" Natasha told her.
Ellie closed her eyes as she held Grant to her chest, "Do you think it's them?"
Natasha paused on the other end, "I don't know. Steve wasn't sure. He said that there were no symbols of Hydra that we traditionally see. We don't know who this person would be"
"Keep us updated" Ellie told her.
"I will, when are you two coming back?" Natasha asked.
Ellie sighed, "We are leaving here for Stonehenge and London. Maybe just around London for a while. I know places that I want to share with Bucky"
"This is the Temple of Apollo," The tour guide told the group as they looked through the gate, "It was their place of worship"
"I'll let you go enjoy the tour. Call me later" Natasha told her.
"Will do Nat," Ellie said as she hung up and sighed, "Not here"
Bucky frowned and nodded as they followed the group.
"Here we are back at the Forum," their guide said, "It was the center of activity of the town. It was where the temples were, markets and government officers"
They followed her across the large area to something she called The Eumachia.
"This is the largest structure in the Forum and was where merchants could pay for wine and olive oil," She told them as she led them to another area.
A larger crowd was also in there so Bucky leaned over, "What's wrong?"
Ellie closed her eyes and shook her head, "What Steve went to investigate… might be tied to Hydra"
Bucky stared at her, "What?"
"They aren't sure because it doesn't look like the signs they typically see but I guess Fury heard rumblings of it," Ellie told him.
"Shit… just what we need," Bucky said.
"Here is one of the families that were uncovered over the years," Their tour guide said.
Ellie had to calm herself as she saw one partial skeleton next to a larger skeleton with a child-sized one to their right. She held Grant, who made a little noise as he snuggled into her chest, closer to her and looked down at him then at the bones in front of her, 'I will protect you, Grant. Don't worry'
a/n3: Getting closer to Infinity War. It will happen soon. Please remember to tell me what you thought of this chapter!
Now to the review:
Gingin1975: Tony could really cause some trouble, you never know! Thanks for reviewing!
Preview of Chapter 76- Strong Enough to Break:
Bucky glared at him as the man ended his call, "Why are you following me and my family?"
The man sighed, "I'm sorry I just… I have connections, and they told me that you two were in town… and I couldn't help myself" He said glancing at Ellie, "Let's not worry her. I'll join you two if that is okay?"
Bucky frowned as he led Bucky back to their table and Ellie sat up straight.
"I'm sorry for alarming you. Spying was never my skill set" He explained