Author's note:

I wanted to have Chapter 82 up today, but between work, Christmas shopping, and general lack of energy on my part, it didn't come to pass.

So instead, enjoy this chapter I completed about a week ago!

Friends Will Be Friends

Behind Chiho and Musubi, Matsu and Tsukiumi engaged in their own discussion.

"This package you speak of!" Tsukiumi shouted over the wind. "Did the scoundrel say what was on it?"

"A word document!" Matsu shouted back, gripping Tsukiumi's hand as she was dragged through the air. "Instructions for locating a file! IP address, server domain, password, file name, even the folder path. He said I'd have to see it to believe it."

"I would trust those villains as far as I could throw them! Nay, as far as Kusano could!" Tsukiumi landed on an apartment building, leaping off before Matsu could so much as touch it. They were gaining on Musubi, but not fast enough for Tsukiumi's liking.

"Me too!" Matsu replied. "It's like Hametsu: Higa's always working an angle!"

"More fuel to the fire of conspiracy betwixt them!"

"I know, right?!"

Tsukiumi felt Matsu grip her forearm. Did the distrusting trollop think she, Tsukiumi, Sekirei Number Nine and Minato's wife, would be so careless as to drop her? The nerve!

"Still!" Matsu shouted. "If Higa wants us to see it, then us getting to that file helps him somehow! I don't think he'd go through all this just to blackmail us!"

"Thou canst not understate a man's pettiness!" Tsukiuki grit her teeth and pushed doubly hard on the next jump. "Musubi! She is a patient from a hospital, not a child's ball!"

Chiho cried out in joy as Musubi "gently" tossed her in the air again, catching her just before they landed on the next roof.

"I'm fine, Natsumi!" Chiho called. "I haven't felt this good in forever!"

"I am Tsukiumi, thou- Nrgh..." Tsukiumi held her tongue. They just met, and 'twould not ingratiate herself to skewer the girl for a lapse in memory.

Frankly, Tsukiumi's barbs were silently aimed at herself. The sooner she returned to Minato, the sooner she could start her improvement. Kaiha exposed her Achilles heel, and Tsukiumi would not share the fate of the Phthian hero.

Stand fast, Minato, Tsukiumi thought. Thy real wife shall soon return.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Earlier...

Minato looked over his shoulder. "Kazehana?"

The busty Sekirei had her arms looped around her man. "Thank you, Mina-kun."

He frowned at her. "For what?"

"For helping Uzume, of course."

He gently took one of her hands and began peeling her fingers off himself. "I'd thank me later, Kazehana."

Kazehana was devastated. "Minato, this isn't a joke. I'm being serious. What you're doing, what we're doing, means so much to me as Uzume's onee-sama that it's hard to put into words besides- Ah!"

Kazehana peeped with surprised as Minato whirled around and swept her off her feet. She found herself held in a pair of good, strong hands, as she stared up into a pair of fierce, determined gray eyes, as wide as Minato's breathing was heavy. She could feel the anticipation radiating off of him; given his experience with Sekirei battles, it wasn't surprising.

"Then don't tell me," he said. The ferocity in his eyes and aura cooled for a moment. "Show me."

Or did it?

"Later," he elaborated, then leaned in close.

Kazehana felt his breath on her ear.

"When we finish our date," he whispered, before pecking her on the lips.

The contact didn't trigger her wings, but it might as well have for how Kazehana felt. When Minato whipped her back onto her feet and spun her off his arm, she didn't feel like a Sekirei about to throw down. She felt like a princess who'd been locked up in a tower, now finding herself on the dance floor of a masked ball with a charming prince, here to whisk her away to his castle and make a queen out of her. The thought was so romantic and fantastical that at this point, the proverbial dance and ball were little more than formalities as Kazehana danced away from the man she'd elope with.

Thus, as the enemy Sekirei arrived from the east, she was understandably confused at the blushing, giggling mess that greeted her.

"Uzume," Minato called, folding his arms in a show of stoicism. "There's no reason for us to fight. We-"

"Wait, Minato."

The Ashikabi looked to his sixth Sekirei, Homura, cloaked in his mask and standing in front of him.

Homura pointed down the street. "She's not alone."

Indeed, there were two smaller, meeker, less-endowed forms loitering up the street, obscured by the twisting nest of Uzume's veils. One was a sad, pitiful thing in what was technically a kimono, but looked like several threads had worn through, with how the sleeves seemed to hang off her shoulders like a slinky. She appeared to be unarmed, but that was hardly reassuring. More reassuring was the timid, frightened expression beneath her black bangs, framed between her ponytails. She didn't want to be here.

The other was meek in a different way. Her expression betrayed her insecurity, like a child trying to act tough, mixed with an adult who knew better about themselves. Not helping her immature bravado was the paltry leather belly top she wore, striped in alternating black and gray, with a pair of thick straps winding around her shoulders. Matching striped armlets concealed the thick chord bound around her skinny limbs, attached to the curved blades she carried between her fingers. She wanted to impress, but didn't.

The Veiled Sekirei halted on the corner behind a stop sign. Her veiled bobbed and pulsed with power, though in no way seemed intent on shielding her allies.

"You're right," said The Veil. "There isn't any reason to fight."

She extended her gloved hand. "The Jinki. Hand it over."

Minato said nothing. He craned his neck slightly, listening in on the other two.

"I hope The Discipline Squad doesn't come, Sa-chan" said Ponytails.

"Shut up!" barked Leather Top. "Don't call me 'Sa-chan'! And the faster you get us that Jinki, Shi, the sooner you get to go!"

"A-All right," sulked Ponytails, "you don't have to shout."

Leather Top snorted. "Says you. Number 10!"

The Veil's eyes widened and suddenly she was half-a-dozen paces away from Minato. Her veils whipped about, slicing into the wooden fence and tearing through the concrete sidewalk.

As he watched the veils carve a bloodthirsty arc through the air towards him, Minato couldn't help but remember his first night as an Ashikabi when a similar situation had played out. Granted, The Veiled Sekirei hadn't been aiming for him, but that hadn't stopped him from getting in the way of her shot. He vividly recalled his mindset in that moment: pathetic, sad, fueled to a selfless act by his complete lack of self-worth. He'd figured that since a worthless guy like him wouldn't amount to anything, he might as well use his worthless body to take a body for someone worthwhile.

It never having occurred to him that someone worthwhile wouldn't have stalked him, treated him to dinner, then thrown herself around his arm if she didn't see value in him. Of course, now he didn't have to shield anyone. His Sekirei could take care of themselves, and what's more, he didn't even have to get out of the way.

He had people for that.

Right on schedule, a purple-clad woman whirled in front of him and deflected the incoming veils with a wave of her hand. The cloth shot across the street and decapitated a crosswalk sign.

While The Veil halted her charge, Kazehana hugged herself, muttering saccharine nonsense in a love-fueled twirling daze.

Minato shook his head. "People who aren't welcome don't get to come inside. That means you, Veiled Sekirei."

Kazehana's arms unfolded out around her. "But Uzume is!"

The Veil looked confused, then panicked when Kazehana came twirling into the tangled bramble of her veils. The Wind Sekirei moved like her element, bending and flowing around anything that might so much as scratch her. Two meters took about four seconds to traverse; Kazehana ended up chest-to-big-tittied-chest with her frenemy.

"Oh, I missed you so much!" she shouted, before flinging her arms around Uzume and kissing her.

On the lips.

Open-mouthed.

With tongue.

Minato was able to spare a glance Homura's way before the erotic scene and Kazehana's happy moans recaptured his attention. Truth be told, The Fire Sekirei seemed just as turned on as Minato's pants were right then. Kazehana wasn't holding back, running her hands up along Uzume's dark brown hair and bunching up her side ponytail, dragging her naked thigh up along Uzume's leg until they were practically grinding at the hips. Kazehana's heel came out of her high-heeled shoe as she stood on her toes and leaned into her lip-locked partner. Minato was hoping, wishing, downright praying that his busty wife would take Uzume down in a body-scissors and then settle their fight with a no-holds-barred, dress-free grope-off.

Sadly, his budding fantasy didn't come to be. After what seemed like far too short a time for Minato's liking (and Homura's, probably), Kazehana re-shoed her foot and came down from the fiery make-out session.

Uzume remained somewhere between flabbergasted and violently aroused, blushing as hard as she could without bursting a blood vessel, panting out a winded, "I… Whuh… Kazehana..."

Kazehana put a finger to her lips. "Onee-sama doesn't kiss and tell."

An explosion of wind separated the two. Uzume skidded to a halt in the street, on-guard again, as Kazehana said, "I don't break promises, either."

Perhaps Leather Top's default state was "angry," because she didn't seem any more perturbed by this development.

"Rgh, this is stupid!" she growled. "All we need is to grab the Jinki, right?!"

Ponytails shuffled around from behind her. "Sa-chan, there's no reason to be angry."

"Shut up!" Leather Top bent her legs and flipped over the garden fence, Minato's eyes following her before her partner reluctantly moved to do the same.

"Ah. Ah." Instantly Kazehana was in front of her, blocking her jump. She stared down past her bust line at the smaller, less confident Sekirei, while Ponytails shrunk in fear and inferiority.

"We don't let thieves inside the house. Salesmen, either."

"I'll get it, Shi," Leather Top growled, before she found her path blocked by the glaring Homura.

"Didn't you hear her?" he asked, fireballs fwoofing to life in his palms. "You're not welcome here."

Leather Top stepped back and brandished her string-knives. "NUMBER 10!"

Minato sighed. She sounded like a spoiled child. Nevertheless, Uzume came walking, approaching Minato's position at the front gate while Leather Top was driven from the yard by a wall of fire. He saw Uzume's eyes spare a glance at Ponytails, who had sprouted hidden katars from her sleeves and was attempting to fight Kazehana. No worries, then.

For, as Minato's eyes met Uzume's, the meaning of Kazehana's kiss wasn't lost on him. He remembered what it meant for Sekirei to kiss someone: to make an unbreakable promise to be with them forever. Why would Kazehana do that? Minato knew, but Uzume didn't seem to. It was enough, though; the seeds of doubt had been planted in Uzume's mind, and it was Minato's job to water them.

"Move, Sahashi," Uzume ordered. Minato stood his ground.

"I said move!" Minato didn't.

Uzume's veils began to come alive, even while her face betrayed her uncertainty. "Please move?!"

Minato shook his head, never taking his eyes off her even as her veils coiled themselves and shot forward.

"MOVE!"

Not a chance. He knew from experience how this would play out. The Veiled Sekirei might've been a hardened killer, but that's only because Uzume wasn't. The Veiled Sekirei tried to kill Kagedansu, but Uzume let him go. The Veiled Sekirei terminated Namiji, but Uzume left Takano's blood unspilled (probably).

The Veiled Sekirei wanted Minato to think she would kill him, but only because Uzume couldn't, not back then and not now.

He was nearly correct. Those veils came pretty close to giving him the world's most uncomfortable shave, so close they left a nick on his cheek. Even as he winced in pain, Minato's eyes never closed.

Uzume's facade began to crack. Her gaze softened, then saddened, realizing just how much the man she'd tried to kill knew her, for he put so much trust in her not to. Now Minato just had to explain why.

"No. 10!" cried Pony Tails as Kazehana evaded another pitiful attack. "What are you waiting for?! Get the Jinki, hurry!"

Uzume took her eyes off and Minato made his move. He'd put on some muscle since he'd last seen her, so what might've been a simple collision was now a powerful tackle that nearly sent Uzume to the ground.

Uzume was off-balance in more ways than one. "Sahashi?!"

"Kazehana meant it," he said, hugging her strongly. Credit to him, he was trying very hard not to enjoy feeling her boobs against his cheek.

"Meant what? Wait-" She turned up towards the window. "Matsu! Matsu, I know you're in there! Come out with the Jinki or your Ashikabi's going to..."

Uzume trailed off. It wasn't hard to imagine why; an enemy Ashikabi pressing his face into her chest, with just enough tact to avoid outright motorboating her, was bound to get her attention.

"Matsu's not here," Minato said into her collarbone, hoping it was muffled enough for the other Sekirei not to hear. "She took the others to meet someone."

"Meet someone?" Uzume repeated.

"A special someone," Minato clarified, "not to them, since they've never met, but to someone else. This someone else is very special to them."

"A special..." He could hear the wheels click into place in Uzume's head.

"We made a deal," Minato said, "with the Director. He's going to meet her, too, but only if the girls give her a ride."

Uzume started shaking. Her head lolled forward and something wet dripped on to Minato's neck.

"You didn't..." She sobbed. "You seriously didn't..."

"I seriously did," he replied. "We did, and you can take that to the bank when you see her."

Leather Top, back on the street and still facing Homura, saw the scene and scoffed. "Seriously? Again, Ten?" This was right before Homura burned her leg with a swathe of fire.

"Ten, swap with me!" cried Ponytails, dodging a gust of wind but taking her eyes off Kazehana. "I can't seem to-?"

Kazehana had her from behind, hugging her body and arms. All Ponytails could do was flail around helplessly, her arm-bound weapons unable to reach behind.

"You poor thing," Kazehana bemoaned. "Your marriage is a loveless one, isn't it?"

Pony- Shi, that was her name -struggled in Kazehana's grip. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters." Kazehana kissed her on her parted hairline. "Sekirei were meant to fall in love, to find their destined one and spend the rest of their lives together, happy."

Shi was released, and immediately tried to whirl around and shank Kazehana. The Wind Sekirei didn't even seem to mind, nonchalantly skipping back while Shi looked to Uzume for help.

"It's obvious, Shi," said Kazehana. "You fight because you're afraid, not in love. That's the source of a Sekirei's strength more than anything else. That's why you'll never beat me."

Shi choked back a look of anguish and brandished her blades. "I don't need to beat you."

"Then go home!" Kazehana said. "You can't get inside unless you beat me, so if you're not going to try, save yourself and go back to your master! Get stronger!"

Nearby, on the opposite side of Uzume and Minato, Leather Top, a.k.a. Sai, was finding herself in a similar position, burned and limping from Homura's fire as she swung her glowing blades. It was obvious Homura could do as he pleased, so long as her weapons were too hot to handle.

"This is pointless," said The Fire Sekirei. "Go home. Face Higa. I know he sent you, and all you'll accomplish by staying is handing over your crests."

Gritting her teeth, Sai grasped her cooling blade. She winced at the contact, but its color suggested a bearable temperature.

"Sekirei who are of no use to Master," she scowled, "have no right to exist."

Kazehana looked her own opponent over. "Is that true?"

Shi nodded. "It's a Sekirei's duty to fight for their master."

Kazehana shook her head. "It's a Sekirei's duty to better their master." She glanced at Minato and Uzume, then smiled. "Or even someone else's."

Sai relaxed and favored her unburned leg, leaning back. "Yeah, well, Master said he'd be better if he had another Jinki. So, he told us to come back with it, or not at all."

Homura said nothing to that. There wasn't anything left to say. They'd each planted their flag, but only one would keep flying.

Kazehana, meanwhile, looked to her foe with renewed resolve. "Then we'll fight with all we've got," she said, "so Higa can see the power of Sekirei love!"

Sai pushed off her back leg and charged. "Damn it!"

Shi rushed in, blade drawn back. "Waaah! Help us, Ten!"

Uzume stood perfectly still, trapped in Minato's embrace.

Homura swayed to the side and swept his hand at Sai. "Burning Blade!"

Kazehana did the same to Shi. "Wind Shear!"

In a flash of light and a burst of air, it was over. Shi lay sprawled face-down in the street, her kimono shredded and a deep purple contusion over her sternum. Sai lay smoldering at Homura's back, on her side next to the decapitated crosswalk sign. Neither Sekirei moved. In a moment, the crest vanished from Shi's exposed back.

Homura lowered his fiery sword and sighed. Kazehana turned and knelt over Shi, stroking the young Sekirei's hair.

"I'm so sorry," Kazehana whispered. "Someday, I hope you find your real Master."

"You think Higa would've forcibly winged her?"

Kazehana stood. "Sekirei are impulsive by nature. We can be wrong about who we choose. I was."

She then directed her gaze toward her husband, who was only now separating from Uzume and walking through the front gate.

He met her look with one of his own. "Patience sure is a virtue," he said.

Kazehana smiled wearily. "I'll say." She looked to Uzume. "Is that why you chose to trust us?"

Uzume looked at Minato, then Homura, then Kazehana. "I wanna believe it."

That one short sentence almost made Kazehana cry with happiness. "Uzume…"

Minato pivoted and clasped the former Veiled Sekirei about the shoulders. "It was a long walk, but you're finally back where you belong. Welcome home."

As she looked to each of them again, her time as The Veiled Sekirei fading into her mind like a bad fever dream, the blood on her hands still fresh from the crimes she committed, all Uzume wanted in that moment was to agree.

That is, she wanted to. However, she didn't. Because she quickly realized that she was the only one among them who saw the string-tied dagger flying at Minato's back. Sai, it seemed, had one last card to play.

Maybe it was some innate need to thank her friends for everything they'd done for her. Maybe it was just instinct. Maybe it was her newfound sense of abiding by the rules.

Maybe it was that aforementioned blood on her hands.

Whatever the reason, Uzume's reaction saw her grab Minato and spin him about herself, reversing their positions and putting her bare back in the blade's path. She had no regrets about this course of action. Sure, she could've tackled him to the side and out of the way. Sure, she could've grabbed him and jumped into the air. Sure, she could've reached out with her veils and allowed the knife to stab them, giving her leverage to pull it safely out of the air. Sure, she could've kicked one of her shoes off and deflected the knife off its course.

There were many options that might've been available to her, had she been thinking clearly, had she seen it sooner, had she reacted in a more calm, appraising way. In time, she surely would've joked about what a dunderheaded move it had been to use her body as a shield when there were at least four other options that ended better for her.

However, she wasn't thinking about any of that. In fact, there wasn't anything else on her mind, save all of two words.

"Thank you," she whispered, and braced for the pain that would follow as death came flying closer.

Closer.

Closer.

And then…

...

Nothing.

…

Where was the pain?

Where was the horrible, chest-stabbing pain?

Small mercies, this was one of them. It seemed the wound had been so clean, and the knife tip so sharp, that she hadn't felt so much as a scratch.

"Tat right there sealed your fate, yeah..."

Uzume opened her eyes, still painless, and turned around. She knew that voice...

Wait, was that…? It certainly looked like him. His head was lowered, tinting the reflective plastic on the sunglasses he wore. A bright bandanna covered his hair. One of his hands clutched the string attached to the knife, and said string loosely trailed back to disappear under his planted foot. The knife itself lay on the ground, no more than a meter away from Uzume's heel.

"Tat put the Madness over-the-edge, yeah."

With a jolt of his wrist, the blade jumped into his upraised hand.

"And when the moment of truth comes," he seethed, "AT WRESTLEMANIA FIVE, YEAH-"

He reached up with his other hand and snapped it like a brittle cookie.

"You're not takin' anything that's miiine."

No one could say for sure what happened. One moment Kagedansu was standing in front of Sai with his back to her, about a meter away. As she began to pass out, he was suddenly toe-deep into her shoulder, kicking her so hard that she flipped off the ground and landed on her back, her broken dagger clattering to the ground next to her deactivated husk.

"Yeah," he spat.

Uzume stared, wide-eyed and in shock, having long accepted that she was still alive and Sai hadn't stabbed her. Who was this lunatic, and what had he done with her long-neglected lover?

Minato saw the look on her face and smiled. "A lot's happened while you were gone."

"Yeah," said Uzume, exasperated, "I'll say it has."

Kazehana sighed and wilted against her Ashikabi. "I'm just glad it's all over."

"Not quite," he said, taking out his phone. He dialed a number, then held it to his ear. "Hello?"

He then held the phone out to Uzume. "It's for you."

She took it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Uzume."

Uzume's breath caught in her throat.

"Uzume? Are you still there?"

"Where are you?"

"MBI hospital. Room… What's the number?… 301."

"I'll be right there," said Uzume, before tossing the phone to Minato and leaping away.

After picking the phone off the ground, Minato turned to his wife. "Now it's over."

"Oh no it's not," said Kazehana, hugging herself against him. "We have unfinished business, Mina-kun. Remember?"

Minato's eyes immediately went to her mountainous mammaries as they ballooned against his chest. With a wry smile on his lips, he leaned next to her ear.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

In a moment, they were gone, too.

That left only Homura and Kagedansu to safeguard the inn. Not that either of them thought someone would try anything, after what just happened.

"So," said Kagedansu, turning towards the front door, "you hungry?"

"A little," said Homura. "But first, take a bath. You smell like a moldy basement."

"Well!" scoffed the Shadow Sekirei. "Excuuuuse me if not all tunnels are ventilated!"