Chapter 65:

two weeks later:

Alex was spending a lot of time with Brooke, Bea noticed.

And she meant a lot of time.

She would wake up late and find Alex getting Brooke ready for school – even though she was convinced she set an alarm. Then he would offer to pick her up. When she tried telling him Steve or her were going to do it, he would try and convince her he wouldn't mind doing it. At first she thought he was just being sweet, but now watching them from her bedroom window as they played in the garden, it was starting to become a growing concern of hers.

"You're just being stupid," Bea rolled her eyes at herself, remembering the paranoid state she had been in three years ago. It was just another one of those times she had convinced herself something was wrong when in reality it was her brain that was wrong.

Not that him offering to help with Brooke was a bad thing… she just thought he was doing a little too much to be normal. He even started making her pack lunches. It was like he was trying to be… her dad…

- No. He was just being a good friend.

"You don't need to do so much for Brooke, you know," She told him one morning as he stretched out on her couch.

"I know. I just want to give something back in thanks for letting me stay and you know how much I love her."

"I don't want you to feel like you owe me or anything. I've raised Brooke alone for four years, I can cope." She hadn't, she had Steve but now that Alex was staying here, she was seeing him less and less. She wasn't sure why that bothered her so much.

"You don't have to do it alone."

She carried on making breakfast.

Footsteps pounded down the stairs and Brooke with mismatched pigtails came rushing in.

"Mama!" She came to a stop by her mums feet, "I got dis!"

She held up a letter, "What is it?"

"nursery 'day said I should write a letter to santa."

"Oh really?" She flipped over the letter and saw a messily scrawl of handwriting signed for 'Father Christmas', "What did you ask Santa for?"

Brooke pressed a finger to her lips, "I can't say. Only santa can know."

"Well you know what you have to do?"

"leave it in front of da' fireplace, and santa elves will come and get it."

"That's right, well done." She went to plant a kiss on Brooke's head but the girl had already raced across the room and put down her letter in front of the fireplace, "now go get ready for nursery or you'll be late!"

She sped off as quick as she had come. As soon as Brooke was out of the room, Bea picked up the letter which had just been so delicately placed down.

"Glad her nursery has gotten her to write a letter, I've had no idea what to get her." She already had everything under the sun from Steve and Natasha.

Alex cleared his throat, "maybe whatever she asks for we can split halfway and have it from both of us."

She stopped opening the letter midway and frowned at him, "Why would we do that?"

"I just know you're struggling with money so if you needed some help-"

"Says the person whose sleeping on my couch?" Bea snapped.

"It was just an idea. No need to get testy."

"I'm not getting testy," She dismissed, "I just simply don't understand why I would share buying a present for my daughter with someone."

"I'm sorry," Alex put his hand up in defence, "I didn't think. All I meant was I see you as family and wanted to give something in return."

More like you wanted to pretend we were girlfriend and boyfriend – Not that she dare speak this thought out loud, but there were times she caught Alex staring at her in a certain way. She had turned once to see Alex hoisting Brooke up onto his shoulders like a father would his daughter. They were not his family and it was cruel to continue to let him think so.

"I know everything's really tough for you at the moment, but, do you think that after Christmas, you could start searching for a new place." She knew he hadn't even been looking, that's what got on her nerves the most, "Just because I want to get Brooke into a routine and having you here all the time is getting in the way of that-" lies. Lies. Complete lies – she just didn't want him there anymore.

"oh, right… yeah…" He fumbled to sit back down as if she had knocked him down into a pile of mud, "Did… Did I do something?"

"No," Yes. "but this was only temporary and you've been here for a few weeks now. It's about time you found your own place."

"Right. Sure."

Alex suddenly looked as if he'd eaten something sour, and stared solemnly out of the window. She chose to ignore him, like she would if it was Brooke having a temper tantrum. She only hoped her kicking him out wouldn't affect their working relationship…. but really, she was being more than fair to ask him to leave after Christmas.

Continuing with what she was doing, she focused on reading the letter. She had to read every word of the letter twice due to Brooke's scrawled handwriting where some letters were bigger than others and words were spelt how they sounded.

Dear Santa,

Hope it good in the north pol. Nureary says I hav to rite a letter to yoo to get presents. I hav to tel yoo wot I want. I thoht abot it and I want a daddy-

Bea's stomach turned in twists. Turning on the spot, she faced her back to Alex, hiding the letter now clutched tightly in her hands.

-I no my daddy was gone with all the oter peple who disapped. But I want my mumma to be happy agan. I also no that Uncle Steve will get my lots of expensiv toys, so all I'll ask yoo for is a daddy.

Mery Christmas

Brooke Rebecca Barnes, Aged 4.

There were tear drops on the crumbled paper where she'd been gripping it so hard. How was she supposed to make her Christmas dream come true? Her daughter was a big believer in magic and wishes. If she had written this to Santa, then Brooke would fully expect to see her father on Christmas day. Now, she would only be disappointed.

Fighting the sudden urge to throw the piece of paper against a wall in frustration she resorted to slamming it on the kitchen table.

"Everything okay?" Alex asked from his chair on the couch where his bum print was permanently marked, "Did she ask for something expensive?"

She nodded through gritted teeth, "Yes." Something much too valuable and out of Bea's reach.

The door bell rung as Steve came to collect Brooke for nursery. Her fingers trembled as she struggled to open the door for him but she hid her hands behind her back as she welcomed him in, refraining from speaking too much. As she was scared if she opened her mouth a waterfall of emotion would flood out.

If Steve noticed, her didn't say anything as Brooke ran down the stairs, loudly bragging about her letter to Santa and singing Christmas songs under her breath. Steve chuckled, mumbling something about her being a natural born singer before closing the door behind him.

Only then did Bea exhale.

Soon Alex left to go to work. She was almost glad to see the back of him – don't think that, Bea, he's a good friend – but with the grumpy pout that he walked with as he left, Bea couldn't find the energy to care.

She was supposed to be going Christmas shopping tonight but what could she possibly get Brooke, when all she wanted in the world was a father. Banging her feet loudly as she entered the living room, she figured for now she would just stuff the letter away and worry about it another day – perhaps a sit down chat with Brooke, explaining to her why she doesn't have a dad… but then she would have to admit she read the letter specifically addressed to Santa.

Steve. She'll just talk to Steve about it tonight. He'll know what to do.

The doorbell went again and for a moment she thought her prayers had been answered and Steve had come back from driving Brooke to nursery. Breathing deeply, she flung the door open ready to explain everything and get some decent advice from a sane person.

"Expecting someone else?" Fifteen stood there, analysing the sudden frown you received from Bea.

"Sorry – I thought it was Steve."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"oh, no… don't worry," She forced the letter to the back of her brain and welcomed her friend inside, "This is a surprise visit. What's up?"

"Can't I come visit a friend for no other reason?"

"You can," Bea narrowed her eyes, "but you've not made one made a house call in the two years I've lived here so I strongly doubt it. Good to see you though."

"you too," She said, but her tone didn't match her words. Even though Bea was edging closer to the living room, Fifteen remained rooted by the front door, "I need a favour."

She could have groaned, "That doesn't sound very appealing."

Fifteen wasn't officially part of the Avengers. Though they'd grown from contact in the recent years, Bea knew that her friend had still been acting as a spy for Natasha and travelling the world, sending reports back to Avengers HQ and laying low. If Fifteen had bothered to come all the way to New York and was without Natasha, it was clearly important and… secretive.

"What's up?"

"I need help and I don't know who else to turn too," Her eyes roamed the room. Bea had picked up on this from Natasha as a spy instinct that developed to search for hidden camera. When she was satisfied, she continued, "I know you guys like to believe you took out all of Hydra – which yes, whilst mostly true, it's not completely true."

"What does that mean?"

"Like myself, there are still ex-Hydra agents out there. Some abandoned the cause and stayed in hiding so Hydra wouldn't find them, other's left naturally with Hydra's permission and some escaped you destroying all their buildings. Mostly that's what Natasha has had me doing for the past four years. Searching Ex Hydra agents and taking them out."

"So, Natasha is aware there are still Hydra agents out there?" Bea questioned.

"Yes."

"Good."

"But-"

She groaned, "Why could I feel that coming…"

"I protected a few of them."

"What?"

The tips of her ears went pink. It was rare that the spy showed emotion but with her hair pulled back into a tight pony tail, she could no longer hide the subtle reactions she showed, "I am an ex-agent myself. Natasha expected me to hunt down old friends of mine-"

"They're Hydra, Fifteen."

"So was I?" Fifteen spat back, "Do I deserve to die then?"

She didn't hesitate, "no, of course not. You let go of your allegiance to Hydra."

"So, did a few of my friends. Did you not hear me? I said a few of them abandoned the mission and went into hiding. Of course, when Hydra's last base fell, they all came out of hiding and that was when they came up on Natasha's Hydra radar and I was sent to take them out."

Hydra hadn't been an issue in her life for so long. Of course, she still had her days where she would wake up in spurts of sweat and have to rush to Brooke's room to check she was still safe. Sometimes she would think she saw a Hydra symbol stitched onto the arm of passing strangers on the street. Now, the name itself made puke fill her mouth and the distance between here and Brooke's nursery feel like a country away.

"I'm assuming you didn't kill them then?"

"How could I?" Fifteen argued, "I know they're not evil people. Steve and Natasha just want to wipe Hydra completely off the map but if they do that they'll have to kill me too."

"Don't say that. No ones killing you."

"Thank you but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm lying to Steve and Natasha," She bit her lip. Bea doubted that if she told Natasha how she felt, she'd still expect her to go out a shoot them. Or… perhaps it was a secret code between spies to always complete a mission given to them. She really wouldn't know, even with her short time as a spy. "and Natasha will find out eventually no matter how much I cover my tracks. I've told a few of them to go back into hiding and I thought it would be fine until I got an email asking me to meet one of them at a warehouse here in New York this afternoon."

"in New York?" How strange… why did they choose somewhere so close to the Avengers HQ?

"yes. I need your help."

"What?" Bea spluttered, forgetting that Fifteen's opening line to this whole story was 'I need a favour', "Fifteen, whatever it is, I would love to help but you know my situation. I can't do anything related to the Avengers… and especially Hydra. I'm already on thin ice with the government, If I-"

"Please," fifteen pleaded, her eyebrows furrowing together making her eyes in the shape of round puppy eyes, "I said I'd meet them but it's so suspicious that it's dangerous for me to go alone. Most Hydra agents don't meet up again unless they have business and truthfully, I'm not entirely sure this person's allegiances were completely changed."

Bea frowned, "You just said that they left Hydra because they changed their mind. How could their allegiance have changed?"

"I helped them leave Hydra, so I know they had given up on Hydra. but… when Natasha asked me to take ex-Hydra agent down, I did research into those I believed were no longer loyal, just to double check, but I found out he'd met up with Volkov before we destroyed the last Hydra base. I didn't want to put a bullet in his head without knowing the full story, so I told him to go into hiding until I could figure out a way to tell Natasha but now, I've received this email asking to meet up."

The mention of Volkov sent an unwelcome shiver up her spine, "What is it exactly you want me to do?"

"Just to come with me – you can stay outside if you want, as a look out. I just need someone covering my back."

Bea looked back and forth between her options. For one, she really didn't feel like going against Hydra again. She had enough nightmares as it was. For two, if she was caught, she'd be running the risk of losing everything she'd built in the last three years. Was it worth the risk?

It wasn't like Fifteen to be concerned about her back. If she was asking it had to be important and Bea couldn't stand the thought of something happening to her and having done nothing to stop it.

"I'm just waiting outside," she stressed nervously, her palms suddenly sweating, "And I can't carry a weapon."

"I'll leave a gun in the glove box just in case."

"Fifteen."

"I'm not going to lead you to a meeting with an ex-Hydra agent and let you be unarmed," Fifteen fussed, "it's just a safety measure. You won't actually need to pick it up."

"You hope."

A/N I took so long to edit this chapter just because I decided to change it to Christmas time, to be more festive you know. Then I had so much work that I actually didn't think I'd get it edited by Christmas, so I'm going to be doing three uploads in three days now as a Christmas present to all the people who have stuck with this.

A part of me isn't happy with the re-edit I've done as I've sort of got rid of everything that was likable about Alex. If you've stuck with this fic, then you know I like to make the actions that characters do understandable but I just decided for once with Alex, I'm just going to make a jerk of a character and roll with it. Cause why the hell not…

ALSO after the next three chapters (which are going to be updated in the next three days) I'M FINALLY ONTO ENDGAME 'five years later' so whoo! I take my time, I know.

To the Guest that spammed me and countless other fics the exact same messege, with a massive paragraph about how shit my fanfic is… um… okay… thanks for adding to my review number I guess :/

And thanks to guest reviewer, 'M' for letting me know it was a spam, I wasn't bothered by it because it just makes me laugh, but I know other writers might be upset to receive that kind of review.