100 Ways

82. I was in the neighborhood.

Barry and Eddie stayed true to their word and only saw each other at work for the following week, but it was harder than Barry had thought it would be. Over the weekend he caught himself running to Eddie's place on autopilot twice and had to turn back to go home. His heart hurt until he saw Eddie at work on Monday, when they smiled and waved at each other, then Barry went upstairs to his lab, and his heart started hurting again.

On Wednesday, Singh stopped by his lab to interrogate him about the apparently very obvious tension between the two of them.

"Did you and Thawne split up?" he asked with no preamble, striding into the lab.

Barry looked up at him, frowning. "No, why?"

"You haven't visited his desk since last week."

"Is that a crime?"

"Have you split up?" Singh pressed again.

"No, we haven't split up, we're…we're just having a little space," Barry said awkwardly. "Look, no offense, but I don't really want to talk about it with you."

"That's fine," Singh said, "but you have to go tell HR."

"What? Really?" Barry asked. "We're just taking a week!"

"I want everybody's asses covered in case of anything," Singh said.

"We're not breaking up, though," Barry insisted.

Singh smiled slightly. "Good. That's what Thawne said too."

Barry's jaw dropped. "Wh—Was that a test?"

"No, you really do have to talk to HR," Singh said. "I just wanted to hear your side of it too."

"Is that appropriate?"

"Listen, I don't want my CSI and my second-best detective causing problems for the department. I'm just keeping an eye on you two, that's all," Singh said.

Barry put his face in his hands. "Oh. My. God. This is my worst nightmare."

"This is what you chose when you decided to date a member of the force!" Singh called over his shoulder as he began walking out of the lab. "And go see HR!"

Barry obliged and informed HR of his and Eddie's week of distance. It was so clinical, seeing the file of his and Eddie's relationship, documented and stored away for legal purposes. It gave him a sick twist in his stomach as he signed the paper saying he acknowledged they were on a "separation."

He had started to leave the HR office when he ran straight into Eddie. They'd exchanged small talk, both agreeing that Singh's intervention was uncomfortable for both of them, and set up a time to talk on Sunday. Sunday felt so far away, and it gave Barry anxiety like almost nothing ever had before.

Still, the days passed soon enough, and Barry found himself staring at the clock on his bedside table, waiting for the time to bleed away until 3pm when he was supposed to meet up with Eddie. Anxious energy made his body buzz, though, so he took a run around the city to try to calm his nerves. The exercise didn't work, though, as he soon found himself running laps around the ten block radius of Eddie's apartment building.

"This is stupid," Barry hissed at himself. "Just go talk to him."

Even though it was hours and hours before he was supposed to meet Eddie, he let himself into the building and walked up the stairs to Eddie's door. Once he was there, though, he didn't know what to do. The key in his pocket felt heavier than it had all week. He'd even considered taking it off his key ring for the week but thought that felt too final, as if it would be an omen that he and Eddie would never get over this.

Finally, he took a breath and knocked.

He heard a door open and Eddie's familiar footsteps on the hardwood floor. Then the door clicked, and there he was. Barry wanted to melt into his arms, wanted to pin him against the wall and kiss him, wanted to cuddle up with him on the couch. Maybe all three at once.

"You're, uh, early," Eddie said with a bemused smile.

"I was in the neighborhood," Barry said, which wasn't entirely a lie. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, it's good. I was actually thinking of calling you to see if you wanted to come over earlier, so this is perfect." Eddie stepped aside and Barry walked inside.

"Couch?" Eddie asked.

"Sure."

They walked over and sat down on the couch, and Barry could practically feel the few inches that were between them.

"So I've been thinking," Eddie said. "I forgive you for keeping why Iris ended it a secret from me. I understand your reasonings and your fears. But I have my own fears, and I have to ask you, are you sure you're over her?"

The pain and worry were clear as day in Eddie's blue eyes.

"I just don't want you to have any doubts or regrets," Eddie continued. "This is what you've been waiting for since you were a kid, the chance of a lifetime for you. So, are you? Sure, I mean?"

Barry reached out and took Eddie's hands in his, locking eyes with him. "I am absolutely sure. I want to be with you, Eddie. You and only you."

Eddie swallowed and took a breath. "And the texting?"

"Just as friends," Barry said. "I don't think I can ever fully walk away from her. We were best friends for years, and, like I said, she's still my family. I want to repair our relationship, even if just for Joe's sake. But I can stop if you want me to."

"It's fine," Eddie said. "I will tell you it's a little hard to trust that right now, considering recent revelations."

"I understand."

"But I'm not going to be that boyfriend who controls who you're friends with, so it's fine," Eddie said. "I just want a little communication. Like if you're going to get lunch or something. Just a heads up, so it doesn't feel like you're sneaking around with her. Just like you'd let me know if you're going out with Cisco and Caitlin."

Barry nodded. "That sounds fair."

Eddie let out a shaky breath and smiled. "Okay. Good. Do you, uh, do you have any questions or anything to say?"

"I'm sorry," Barry said. "I'm so sorry. I can't tell you the amount of times I've been told that communication is key in a relationship, and I did want to tell you as soon as she told me, but then I got in my head about it and…well, that's not the point.

"The point is, I should have told you, and I know that now, and I will never keep something like that from you again," Barry said.

"No more secrets?" Eddie asked.

Barry swallowed down the guilt of his last secret. "No more secrets."

Eddie sighed with relief. "So, uh, can I kiss you now?"

"Please," Barry said, releasing Eddie's hands to place one on the side of Eddie's face.

Eddie laughed and scooted closer, and when their lips met, all of Barry's worries and anxieties over the past week just melted away.