Author note…
I'm late… really late… I just… I'm almost done with next chapter and SHOULD be done by the weekend… I'll be responding to reviews for last chapter and this one then. But after next chapter I might be taking a break for hopefully only a couple weeks but I'm not sure…
2020 isn't going that well. I'm terrified and haven't stopped shaking. I have no idea if my summer will be spent in war or in conversion camp. I have no idea if I'll survive that long either…
I… i almost put myself into a psychiatric ward… i started writing in 2017 and posting in 2018 when my mental state was starting to get REALLY bad.
This story in 2018 when things were starting to get a little better but I still I used writing to cope with it…
It's getting a LOT worse… people are noticing… I've been trying to improve myself but it hasn't been working… at all… things are getting so so much.
I'm not sure what to do at this point… it's getting worse. Everything is always so loud and fast. Hearing and seeing things that aren't there… physically feeling things that aren't there. I'm mixing up letters and things are always spinning. I'm always falling over or stumbling. I can hardly verbally speak to more than a small handful of people. Always afraid I'll pass out. I'm really really scared.
I'm only 16… I'm just a high schooler… I told my parents about my mental state and they're taking me to the doctors and will probably get one of those head scan things…
I'm scared and I don't know what's gonna happen to me after that.
Thanks for staying this long but please don't leave yet… I understand if you do tho… 'm so sorry for letting you guys down… I'll try to write but… I'm so sorry…
I'm sorry for not being strong enough… I'm sorry for failing… I'm sorry for disappointing you… I'm sorry that this's the hundredth time I've done this… I'm sorry for being like this…
I'm sorry for everything……
~Alician