Chapter 63: What Now?

Finally your update! I got a fair amount of reviews asking for this one. Any way, thanks for the reviews and on with the chapter!

Jace's POV

No one knows what to say. I can feel my heart beating against my rib cage. How could Clary not know the people standing in this room? Clary looks around at us all again, still looking confused.

"Clary what do you mean?" Simon eventually asks.

She smiles at Simon, no longer looking confused. "I mean… you're all in pyjamas. I've never known you to go in public in pyjamas. Especially you Magnus, even if they are the sparkliest pair of pyjamas I've ever seen. How can I be sure you're my friends?"

You can literally feel the tension leaving everyone in the room. Clary's okay.

She finally looks over at me and smiles. "Except for you," she says, still looking at me, "you're actually quite dressed up." I just shrug back.

She looks around the room, at what must be a bunch of angry or hurt faces, and stops smiling. "I'm sorry, that was a bit of a dick move. Of course I know who you all are! Don't get me wrong - I was confused at the beginning - last I remembered I was in a car on the way to Jace's hotel and then I wake up here with all of you staring down at me, but then I kind of figured everything out and thought I could have some fun."

"Well at least we know the car accident wasn't bad - didn't change her personality at all," Kit says, and then quickly adds "unfortunately."

Clary looks mildly offended, but it quickly turns into a smile.

"You guys really didn't all have to come!" she says, sitting up a bit. "I'm fine - I mean I have a bit of a head ache, but there's really no reason for all of this."

"If I was in a car accident would you come to the hospital?" Simon asks.

"Of course," she quickly replies.

"Exactly."

"Look she's not wrong though," Magnus says. "Now we can all rest assured that Clary is okay, we actually have to do the resting bit. We've got an early departure tomorrow, so everyone back to the hotel!"

Clary begins to get out of bed, but everyone begins pushing her back into it almost the exact same time.

"Everyone else," Magnus clarifies. "Clary you're staying here tonight so they can monitor you. I'm going to talk to them about a drip as well. We need you healthy for the rest of the tour."

Clary flops back down into the bed, and looks like she wants to argue but doesn't actually say anything.

"Good - we'll see you in the morning biscuit." Magnus says, straightening out his pyjamas to face the public again.

"I'll come talk to the doctor with you," I say to Magnus, knowing that he'll need the help, and not wanting to stay in the room with Clary at the moment.

I leave before she can protest, and talk to the doctor and confirming everything with Magnus. I wait outside Clarys door for a while before actually working up the courage to open it. When I finally do, she is looking at the door like she was waiting for me to come back.

I'm about to apologise to her, when she beats me to it. "Jace. I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry? What do you have to be sorry about. It's me who's sorry," I say, sitting in the seat next to her bed.

"About that joke. It was stupid - I could see you were all worried and I should have just said I was fine, but I got carried away… It wasn't nice and I'm sorry. What would you have to be sorry for?"

"You said you were tired and that you didn't want to come over… and I didn't listen. I forced you to come and then you got hurt and… it's all my fault," I say, unable to look her in the eyes.

She gently grabs my chin and forces me to look at her. "Jace I'm fine. And none of this is your fault. I promise you. If we hadn't of been chased, then I would have gotten to your hotel with no problems. I promise you I'm fine."

"But you're not fine," I say, gently running my thumb over the bandage on her head.

"Everyone gets hurt sometimes," she tells me. "Look," she says, pulling her sleeve back to show me her triceps. "I got this scar when Simon pushed me out of a tree once. And this one," she says, showing me her left hand, "I got when Alec was cutting new wire for his bass. I have a few others but I think you get the point. And this," she says, pointing at her bandage, "isn't even your fault. So stop blaming yourself for it."

I smile weakly at her, which she takes as an excuse to grab my hand. "So how are you anyway," she asks, holding back a yawn. "We haven't really gotten to speak for a while."

"Everything's on track with the movie," I tell her. "Look, we can talk in the morning. It's late, and you should really get some rest now. Doctors orders!" I say, tucking her into bed.

"Jace?" she asks, though she looks like she's already drifting off.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me? Please. At least until I fall asleep?" she asks, rolling over and looking at me.

"Of course," I answer, gently brushing her hair off her forehead. "I'll stay as long as you need."

I look at her as she falls asleep, horrible thoughts running through my head. Her breathing evens out, and I gently lift my hand off her head and she doesn't react, so I assume she's asleep.

I quietly leave her room, and sit down in hallway just outside. I take out my phone and ring the first person I can think of.

"Jace?" Izzy asks confused. I've clearly woken her up. "Is everything okay with Clary? Simon told me she was in an accident."

"Yeah everything's fine, she just fell asleep," I answer.

"Okay well then, can whatever you need to say wait until morning, because it's really early-"

"I could've lost her Iz," I say, and taste salt when I lick my lips. I'm not sure when I started crying, but I quickly wipe away the tears.

"Simon says she just has a concussion. Jace everything's going to be fine," Izzy says, her voice growing concerned.

"I know that know. But if anything happened differently… people die in car crashes, Iz. Everyday. I nearly killed her," I say, wiping away the tears that won't stop falling. I don't deserve to cry. I should have to deal with this. I shouldn't even be talking to Izzy right now.

"I don't know how you got to that conclusion Jace, but it's not true-" Izzy says, speaking quickly, but I cut her off.

"Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's dangerous for her to be with me. I was going to propose," I choke out, "and she was in a car crash on the fucking way there. I've never thought I was good enough for her, and this confirms it."

"Jace-" I hang up the phone. My minds made up. The only good thing I can do for Clary now is leave. And I have to do it now - rip the band-aid off and let her have a better life - the life she deserves.

Izzy calls be back, but I don't answer. I wipe my face for the last time before standing. I look back at Clary's door and can't help but walk over to it. It's like I don't have control over my body when I open the door. She's laying in the same position as when I left; on her side with her hand still outstretched towards the chair I was sitting in before. I let out a shuddering breath before closing the door. For the last time.

I don't really know how, but I somehow end up back at my hotel, and I numbly hit the button in the elevator to go up to my level. The moment I open the door I know it's a mistake coming back here, but I had to get my passport if I was going to get out of the country.

I quickly head out to the balcony and blow out all the candles so I don't burn the place down. I gather up everything in the room quickly, and look around. How differently this night could have gone. I drop my bag and walk over to the desk, and begin writing a note. At some point I must start crying again, because as I look at the finished page, I notice a few drops of water on it. I leave it on my bed, along with Clary's ring. Rip off the band-aid Herondale. I rush down to the lobby and get them to order me a cab, seeing as it's so early and there won't be many on the street. I almost run to get in the taxi when it finally arrives.

"Airport," I tell the driver. My only hope now is that I can get out before anyone notices I'm gone.

Well another cliff hanger... sort of. I know this chapter was a little bit shorted, but I promise the next update will be worth it! I hope you have a great week, and feel free to leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions.