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Chapter Forty-Seven—Blindness
Draco crumples up the letter his father sent him, in such a small square that he doesn't think anyone would notice it if he dropped it on the floor and let it roll into a corner of the Slytherin common room. But he can't take the chance. So he throws it into the fire and sits watching it burn, his eyes dry and alert.
He wouldn't have opened the letter from his father a week ago. Commands to return home were all he got before. But now…
There were no harmful charms or potions on the letter, and Draco is bitterly aware that he used the lessons Harry taught him to make sure that that was true. And Father spoke about how he needed Draco to return to him, and Mother did things wrong by fleeing instead of standing up for what she believed in, and how she could have spoken to him at any point if she thought there was something wrong.
Draco closes his eyes. Behind his lids, the fire is still dancing.
He doesn't believe that Father only wants him back to make amends. He doesn't believe the promises about how Father only wants to talk to Mother, to understand why she did what she did. And he doesn't believe that Father is concerned about him following Harry because he thinks Harry could weaken Draco.
But he wants to believe it.
He wants to believe that he's special, and someone wants him, and he's the center of someone's world the way he always believed when he was small and he thought both his parents loved him.
He wants to believe that Harry will recognize the specific sacrifices Draco made to be his friend, including giving up his father's trust and even his home. Draco never thought he could take Weasley's or Granger's place, but he thought he could be Harry's Slytherin friend. But Harry appears intent on thinking of Theo and Blaise as his closest Slytherin friends instead.
What did Theo and Blaise sacrifice to be Harry's friend, though? They both already had problems with their parents. And Draco knows that Blaise's mother just tried to kill him and Theo's father probably wants to kill him, but…
They both have places to go. Draco can either go back to Grimmauld Place, which means that he'll live with a Black cousin who resents having him around, or he'll—what? He doesn't know. Mother hadn't found a house of her own the last time she wrote to him.
Draco leans back against the couch and watches the flames dance again with tired eyes. He should go to bed, he thinks. Maybe things will seem clearer after a good night's sleep.
But he knows it's never going to be clear how much he'll have to give up, and for so little reward.
He doesn't regret not writing back to his father right now, but he wonders if, someday soon, he will.
"Do you think something's wrong with Draco?" Harry frowns at his friend as he watches Draco shove back from the Slytherin table and stalk off. He didn't think anything was that wrong. Draco didn't say that his mother was in danger again or that his father was writing to him, and Sirius said everything was fine with Narcissa in his last letter. In fact, they were just talking about defensive spells the study group was going to be learning, and Draco's certainly included in that.
"Nothing more than usual," Blaise says absently, frowning at the paper in front of him. "Did you authorize this, Harry?"
"Authorize what?" Harry asks, but Blaise pushes the paper across the table to him, and then he can see.
HARRY POTTER TO COMPETE IN THIRD TASK OF TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT!
Harry stares at the article, scanning carefully through it. The only photograph in it is an old one, showing him with Chaos right after the First Task. And there's no quotes in it, just a "trusted source" saying that Harry told her he would definitely compete in the Third Task.
Chaos rears up next to him, which makes Harry realize that he's hissing obscenities in Parseltongue. He takes a deep breath and reaches down to slide a soothing hand over Chaos's head, then keeps reading.
The "trusted source" is never named, but there are clues left in the article, either because Skeeter isn't that subtle or the person wanted to be recognized for who she is. Harry nods as he collects them. Ravenclaw, misunderstood, older than Harry so she would know better, "accused of crimes by Mr. Potter" that have no details and are meant to paint the person as a victim…
"I hope the money Skeeter paid you makes up for the embarrassment of lying like this, Edgecombe," Harry calls, as he hands the paper back to Blaise.
Chatter in the Great Hall dies down abruptly. Harry can hear some people talking about jealousy and how Harry shouldn't have entered the Tournament in the first place if he didn't want to compete, but his eyes are fixed on Marietta Edgecombe, who's frozen in place in her seat near the end of a bench.
"Crimes that I accused you of?" Harry goes on in a musing tone. "Trying too hard to be my friend, and it turns out that you aren't one. Bullying Luna, which I'm surprised you're calling by its real name, since you seemed proud of it at the time. I honestly can't think of any others. Want to enlighten me?"
Hermione is frowning at him from across the Great Hall, but Harry doesn't really care. He's too interested in seeing what Edgecombe will do. Her face is pale, but she doesn't say a word. Harry tilts his head. "Not even a denial? That must be all of them, then."
"I—I didn't do that, Potter. I didn't do that interview." Edgecombe's voice is hovering right on the edge of hearing.
"You didn't?" Harry gives her a faint smile. "Forgive me for not believing you."
"Mr. Potter, that is enough." Professor McGonagall is on her feet, watching him from over her glasses. "Accusing another student in public of something she clearly did not do—"
"But it's okay for someone else to accuse me to the newspapers of things I clearly didn't do?" Harry stares up at his former Head of House, something burning in him and bursting like a firework. "Nice to see where your priorities lie, Headmistress."
He can hear Professor McGonagall stiffen from here. She shakes her head and says slowly, "Detention, Mr. Potter, for cheek."
"You didn't say anything until I accused someone who almost certainly did it," Harry says. "Even though gossip was starting to spread around the Great Hall about me again. Even though a student here clearly did it, whether or not it was Edgecombe. You weren't going to defend me or reassure people that I'm innocent. That's not cheek, Headmistress, it's truth." He smiles, and feels Chaos scramble up on his chair next to him, rearing so that her paws rest on the tabletop. "I'm different from everyone else because I'm the Boy-Who-Lived, right? I don't need to be defended or protected, I should just take it while another student who spread lies about me is probably going to be protected because she's so 'young' and 'innocent.' Well, I don't care about a random Ravenclaw's innocence when no one protects mine."
He turns and walks away from the room. He knows that either Chaos will attack someone if he remains or his magic will lash out. Already it's heavy in his veins, beneath his skin. That's an unexpected consequence of learning wandless magic: it's easier to let it go when he doesn't mean to, because he doesn't have to draw his wand to use it, just his will.
He steps out onto the grounds and takes a single deep breath. He wishes he had time to fly before he goes to Charms, but he doesn't. And he grimaces as he remembers that Professor Flitwick is Head of Ravenclaw and will probably be offended on Edgecombe's behalf.
"Are you all right, Harry?"
Harry glances over his shoulder, although the resonance in his mind has already told him it's Theo. He shrugs and nods. "Sorry for the scene back there," he says, even though he doesn't regret his words at all. He just regrets showing how irritated he was in public.
"The little idiot deserves it." Theo takes a stance beside him, studying the Forbidden Forest as if he expects someone to walk out of it. "There's no doubt in my mind that it was Edgecombe."
Harry nods shortly. He supposes that she wants prestige of some kind, and if he won't let her claim it by studying wandless magic and Occlumency with the rest of them, she thinks she can find it by speaking with Rita Skeeter. "And what I said to the Headmistress?"
Theo smiles slowly. "I might not have chosen to voice it in quite those words, or in public," he admits, with a shrug. "But it's true. She didn't say anything about the article. She didn't say anything when people accused you of putting your name in the Goblet, and you used to be in her House, yet."
"I wonder why." Harry stares towards the lake, but deliberately turns his eyes away from the hedge maze that the Tournament organizers have built on the Quidditch pitch. He's not going to be walking through it, braving the traps or whatever. It has nothing to do with him. Chaos leans against his leg with a warm sigh, and Harry scratches behind her eye-ridges.
"Perhaps she thinks that she would make things worse by defending you, or that the gossip has no power to hurt you."
Harry blinks. "Where did you store the body of my suspicious Slytherin friend Theo Nott?"
Theo smiles briefly. "Those are the best motives I can come up with. But I think something between it and what you said is closer to the truth. She's become used to thinking of you as the Boy-Who-Lived, someone who can endure anything because he's been made to endure it. She doesn't think of protecting you from other students, but she assumes that anything you say about someone else has more power to hurt than usual."
"Yeah." Harry half-regrets the words he said to Professor McGonagall now, but not the ones to Edgecombe. Her denial was anything but convincing. He turns around and catches Professor Snape's eye as he comes to the doors. He sighs.
Theo follows his gaze and shakes his head. "You know that he won't agree with Professor McGonagall even if he does scold you for getting detention."
"And saying it in public," Harry mutters, and trails towards his guardian. Theo remains behind. Harry glances towards him. "Aren't you coming to Charms?"
"Of course. But unlike some people, I already have my Charms book."
Harry laughs a little, and goes to meet his guardian.
Theo stands where he is until he knows that both Professor Snape and Harry have gone back into the school. Then he asks, "Are you through sulking like a child, Draco?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Draco's voice is sullen, and comes from the shimmer of a Disillusionment Charm that Theo noticed right away, about three meters in front of him. Harry didn't, but then, Harry has a lot on his mind right now.
"You came out here and Disillusioned yourself," Theo says. "Harry may not know why, but I do. You resent that Professor Snape didn't choose you to be the one who defends Harry from Voldemort in his dreams, don't you?"
There's a long moment of silence, enough for Theo to wonder whether he'll have to head to Charms after all. Then Draco waves his wand and ends the charm. "Harry isn't really my friend."
"You mean that he trusts people." Theo sighs at the look on Draco's face. "He's asked you a few times in the last few days what's wrong, and you've said nothing. He trusted you. He trusted that you would come talk to him if you really had a problem. And you know very well why Professor Snape didn't pick you to protect Harry's mind."
"I do not! I could be just as skilled—"
"You hate pain. And Professor Snape knows that whoever is going to defend Harry is going to suffer."
There's a long silence. They're almost certainly going to be late to Charms now, but Theo remains still and watches Draco. He's more interesting than being on time to a class.
"You can't know that that's Professor Snape's motive," Draco finally whispers. "Unless he told you." He glares at Theo accusingly, and Theo can almost feel the way that Draco is shifting the pieces in his mind. Theo is close to Harry, and Draco wants that prestige for himself. He's closer to Professor Snape, and that's something Draco wants to avoid, since Professor Snape favors him most of the time.
"He didn't tell me, but it's easy enough to figure out."
"How can there be pain? It's only waking Harry up when he has a nightmare—"
"It's seeing Voldemort himself, and confronting him, and dragging Harry away from that pain," Theo says. "It's a vision, not a dream. Perhaps that's another reason that Professor Snape didn't pick you, if you don't understand that."
"No one asked for your opinion, Theo," Draco hisses, and starts back towards the school. Theo gives him a moment before he follows him.
He doesn't know exactly what is happening with Draco, no. But he understands exactly how stubbornness and pride can isolate someone from other people. It happened to him during the first six months of his first year, before he realized that most people in Slytherin weren't working against him. He simply didn't matter enough to them as a first-year for them to make that kind of effort.
He only hopes that Draco can learn the lesson as quietly as he did.
"Marietta is really upset with you."
Harry looks up and blinks. He was deep enough in his study of the book on Dark Arts that Sirius sent him last week that for a second he doesn't hear what Cho said at all. Then he shakes his head. "Does that mean she didn't give those facts to Skeeter?"
Cho hesitates. They're alone at the table in the corner of the classroom right now; everyone else is reading or practicing their wandless magic or, in the case of Zacharias, lecturing on Occlumency to a circle of listeners. Harry suspects that it's a good testimony to Zacharias being less annoying now that the people listening to him look like they want to be listening.
"I don't know about that," Cho says. "She might have. I just wanted you to know that she's really upset."
"Enough to attack Luna?"
Cho blinks. "No. Why would she do that? You're the one she's upset with, not Luna."
"She used to bully Luna when she didn't have a reason to be upset with her, either. And she probably thinks that Luna is an easier target than me."
Cho spends a moment looking at Harry from behind her hair. Then she says, "I'm not saying that Marietta is perfect, but she is my friend. And I don't think that she would bully Luna. Not now. Not when she has to know that there are other people in Ravenclaw who would take exception to it, too."
Harry nods shortly. "Fine. Do those people include you?"
Cho glances away. "Yes," she says in a low voice. "Marietta is my friend, but it's—getting harder to keep the friendship. She says that she needs your attention, but she won't act in the right way to get it. And she keeps saying that it's hard to be a half-blood in Ravenclaw and people hate her because of that, but I haven't—actually seen anyone in our House ignoring half-bloods or badmouthing them. Just her. Not all half-bloods."
Harry shrugs. "It's probably true that people don't like her, but that's her personality, not her blood."
Cho gives a slow, sad smile. "So you're not going to say that you want me to stop being friends with her?"
"Of course not. I can't dictate your friendships. I did want to tell you that I don't want you inviting her here or encouraging her to do something stupid to be included. Something else stupid," Harry adds, because he is still sure that Marietta was behind that article.
Cho nods. "And what should I do if she tells me that we can't be friends anymore unless she's included in the study group?"
When did I become the advisor to people older than I am? Harry thinks, but it probably has something to do with being a leader. "Then you have to make the decision if you want to walk away from her or not. But you still can't invite her here."
Cho smiles. "Thanks, Harry. That's all I wanted to know." And she gets up and walks back to her corner, her shoulders straight.
Harry blinks after her, then looks down at Chaos, who's curled up with her wings dangling on the floor. "Why did she need to speak to me about it if it's really that simple?'
Chaos snores, which isn't a reply, but Harry reaches down and gently scratches the back of her neck, and it at least makes him feel better.
Draco pauses. He was coming back alone to the Slytherin common room from the library, and he didn't think anyone else was in this corridor. But now he's sure that he hears footsteps. He ducks back into the shadow behind him and draws his wand.
The people walk into sight. One of them is Headmaster Karkaroff. The other is a Ravenclaw girl who Draco has to think a moment to recognize. Marietta Edgecombe, the one some people think might have been Skeeter's "source" for that article about Potter.
"You understand?" Karkaroff breathes. "I cannot tell you who my contact is, but it is vital that we have Potter as a participant in the Third Task."
"And this is really all I need to give him?" Edgecombe stares down at something sparkling in her hand. Draco thinks he catches a glimpse of a sapphire before she folds it up in her palm.
"Yes. After that, don't worry." Karkaroff straightens and rolls his shoulders. "I trust that you won't speak of this, Miss Edgecombe."
"Of course not. As long as you can promise me that this is going to end up making Potter do something he doesn't want to do."
"He was quite clear with me about his desire not to participate in the Tournament. But he needs to."
Edgecome gives Karkaroff a small, nasty smile. "Trust me, sir, I want him to. He put his name in the Goblet, I know he did. He ought to suffer the consequences and not get out of it."
Karkaroff just nods and walks away. Edgecombe hurries in the opposite direction, towards Ravenclaw Tower.
Draco stands there until he's sure they're both gone, then pursues his path towards the common room. As the door shuts behind him, he's thinking seriously about whether he should tell someone what he saw.
But then he remembers what Theo told him earlier, and his heart hardens. He can't handle pain, can he? They think he's weak, and they don't have to pay attention to him, and he doesn't know anything important.
Draco is going to tell someone about this, of course. He isn't stupid.
He just wants to savor the secret for a while, to know that he knows something they don't.