Travelin' Band

"Okay, that's the last of the soap," Remy said as he finished refueling the machine. "Everyone be on the lookout for more on the next jump."

"Forget that," Sabertooth growled. "The only thing I'll be on the lookout for is a big mug of beer!"

"You better hope we pick up more soap soon," Piotr warned. "Otherwise we will end up being lost in time forever."

"What makes you think that hasn't happened already?" Mastermind snapped rubbing his temples. "Face it, we are never going to make it back to our own time. We might as well give up and settle down in the next civilized time period that has decent food and a flush toilet. That is if this trip doesn't wind up killing us all first!"

"Ah, don't be like that, Masty," Pyro chirped. "This trip has been a whole lot of fun! Don't ya just love living it up out here instead of being cooped up back at the dull, boring base?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Mastermind gave him a look.

"A pack of free mutant spirits like us can't be tied down," Pyro insisted. "Getting out and seeing the world is the only way to feel alive!" Pyro smiled and began laughing happily. "We're a travelin' band! Made a lot of stops! Throughout all of time!"

"No kidding," Mastermind grumbled activating the machine. "We must have visited a hundred time periods by now...oh no. Are you singing again?"

"'Fraid so," Remy grinned throwing an arm around Mastermind's shoulders. "And everywhere we go we cause some folks, to go and lose their minds!"

"They aren't the only ones," Mastermind moaned as the Acolytes were whisked off to their next destination.

"Crashed a pretty little dacha on Moscow's fringe!" Remy smirked indicating their surroundings. "Painted the whole town red!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Dozens of soldiers and secret police ran about in panic.

"RAARRRRRR!" Sabertooth roared tossing a weeping bodyguard through a wall.

CRASH!

"And played with a squad of the NKVD!" Pyro giggled shooting flames everywhere. "While setting fire to Stalin's bed!"

"WAAAUUUGGGHHH!" The feared, infamous Soviet dictator shrieked while hiding under a table in terror. "HELP! SHOOT THEM! SAVE ME! YAAAHHHHHH!"

"Aw, stop whining, homme," Remy kicked him in the behind while pocketing some choice souvenirs. "Hey, nice pipe collection!"

"At least Soviet censorship will ensure no one else learns about our appearance here," Piotr noted at the destroyed, burning dacha. "After surviving us Stalin will probably voluntarily isolate himself for weeks!"

"Oh, the crowning jewel in Egyptian times!" Pyro waved at the opulent, marble palace interior on the banks of the Nile River. "Fell for Gambit's smooth charms!"

"That's one way to put it," Mastermind snorted.

"Until Caesar found him embraced within…" Piotr sighed. "…Cleopatra's arms!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" A half-naked Remy ran through the palace chased by a squad of heavily armed Roman legionnaires.

"GET HIM!" Gaius Julius Caesar yelled pointing his gladius at Remy. "DO TO HIM WHAT PTOLEMY DID TO POMPEY!"

"Au revoir, petite!" Remy shouted back at a very happy, smiling Cleopatra lying on a couch with stars in her eyes. "Feel free to commission a statue to remember me by!"

"Yeah right," Mastermind grumbled as Remy scrambled like mad to stay ahead of his pursuers. "Who would ever want to possess a posed, inanimate figure of you?"

"Gazing upward from a Danish observatory!" Piotr marveled peering through a large triangular sextant. "When the night is so clear!"

"WAHOOOOO!" Shouts of wild, boisterous revelry rang through the darkness.

"While below Sabes is getting Tycho Brahe's, tame pet elk drunk on beer!" Mastermind groaned. "Oh no. Now they have me doing it!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro giggled dancing among a crowd. "Hey mates! Wanna see a real supernova?"

WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!

"Oooooo!" The group of drunken astronomers stared at the fire spectacle in awe.

"Ha! That's another one for me!" Sabertooth drank the last remains from a stout beer keg and upended it. "You lightweights are falling behind!"

"You have finished off three kegs of beer already?" Tycho Brahe, a fortyish-something blonde man with a long mustache and silver prosthetic nose peered drunkenly at him. "So what? You are still two kegs behind him!" Brahe smiled and hugged the neck of a large elk next to him. "Isn't that right, my precious?"

"HRRRIIIEEEEEEA!" Brahe's pet elk shrieked and began guzzling from another keg.

"Hey, I'm not gonna let some skinny moose wannabe outdrink me!" Sabertooth snapped waving at a nearby servant. "Bring me another beer!"

"Oh, the daimyo and samurai class!" Mastermind groaned standing in a courtyard bordered by a slope-roofed wooden castle. "Of Medieval Japan!"

"Look out!" An armored-up Piotr warned as arrows, spears and other sharp, throwing weapons flew through the air.

"Fled in terror when we crashed the compound!" Remy smirked tossing a handful of charged cards of his own. "Of a ninja clan!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro cackled insanely as the castle and nearby village were quickly engulfed in flames. "YEAH! YEAH!"

"YAAAHHHHHH!" Dozens of ninjas, samurai, daimyo and peasants alike wailed and ran about in panic.

"Come here ya sneaky wimps!" Sabertooth dragged a pair of terrified, crying ninjas into a dark building while having a multitude of pointy weapons embedded in his body. "I'll show you what a real set of tiger claws can do!"

"AAAIIIEEEEEE!"

"On the plains of Vienna, outside her walls!" Pyro glanced at the besieged city. "With our eyes looming large!"

"YAHHH! RUN! RUN!" Mastermind yelped in fear.

"As we try to survive the unstoppable might!" Remy panted dashing past him. "Of a Polish winged hussar charge!"

"NA WROGA!" Three thousand heavily armored riders with swept-back feather-covered wooden wings thundered down the plain wielding their formidable arsenals of koncerz, szabla husarska, pistols and fifteen-foot kopia lances in an all-out heck-for-leather charge. "ATAKOWAĆ!"

"Look out!" Piotr tried to shield Remy and Pyro with his armored body.

"GAAAHHHHHH!" Sabertooth yelled as one kopia lance shattered after impaling him. Behind the winged hussars charged another fifteen thousand cavalry towards an Ottoman army over three times their size.

"WAAAHHHHHH! HELP! MOMMY!" Mastermind shrieked as he desperately attempted to avoid being impaled, sabered, trampled or shot.

"Oh, we're a travelin' band!" Pyro sang within the storming mass of horsemen. "Yeah, we're a travelin' band!"

"Yeah, we're a travelin' band!" Remy echoed as the Ottoman army broke and began fleeing the field. "Whoa, we're a travelin' band!"

"WILL YOU IDIOTS SHUT UP AND HELP ME?!" Mastermind wailed while being jostled among the charging horses. "GAAAHHH! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T…UGGGHHH! WHAT DID I JUST STEP IN?! THAT WASN'T MUD OR WATER! OH GEEZE THIS IS DISGUSTING! ACCCK! WAIT! DON'T LEAD ME OVER THERE! STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME! NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Dancing among the clouds! Skirting the Andes' peaks!" Pyro laughed as he did so. "High up in Peru!"

"Mmmm, this is very good," Piotr commented munching on a baked sweet potato topped with chili peppers.

"Any more marinated llama hearts lying around?" Sabertooth burped. "Ah, there's some!"

"As we break our fast with a quaint repast!" Remy smiled. "Supplied by Machu Picchu!"

WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!

"Hahahahaha!" Pyro cackled manning a huge blaze. "Barbecue for everyone!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Hundreds of Incas screamed and fled down from their mountain citadel in terror.

"Now we know why Machu Picchu was abandoned," Mastermind moaned nibbling on a tamale. "If only the locals had been willing to take me with them!"

"Crossing the treeless frozen tundra, nestled on top!" Piotr smiled petting his unexpected mount. "A woolly mammoth's back!"

"Wheeeeee!" Pyro whooped happily perched on another mammoth.

"Ahhhhhh!" Mastermind flailed about while tangled in the fur of his own mount. "Help! I'm upside-down!"

"Protecting a lonely tribe of Neanderthals from, a homo sapiens attack!" Remy smiled nudging his mammoth forward.

"AAAGGGHHHHHH!" The band of early humans shrieked and ran to avoid the charging mammoths.

"HHHRRREEEUUUUUUHHHHHH!"

"Yeah! Get outta here ya silly humans!" Pyro shouted as his mammoth trumpeted in excitement. "You'll never wipe these blokes out before mutants wipe out you!"

"Hya! Mmm! Oog!" The tribe of Neanderthals cheered.

"Ow! Get offa me, lady!" Sabertooth yelped as he struggled to avoid be pawed at by several admiring female Neanderthals. "You chicks have more body hair than I do! Aghhh, not the face!"

"Oh, the stressful life of an Acolyte!" Mastermind whimpered while clutching desperately to Piotr. "Is driving me insane!"

"Yaauuuggghhh!" Sabertooth yelped as part of his trench coat caught on fire. "Not again!"

"Sailing through the warm, dark Bahamian night!" Remy gulped nervously. "In a fire airplane!"

"YAAAHOOOOOO!" Pyro whooped insanely.

"Watch where you are going!" Piotr shouted as the Acolytes held onto each other while gliding through the air. "No! Do not take us up again!"

"See? I told ya I'd save us from falling from six thousand feet without any parachutes!" Pyro laughed maniacally steering his fire plane. "How about some loop-de-loops?"

"DON'T YOU DARE…AAAHHHHHH!" The other mutants screamed in terror.

Several miles away, a well-dressed fortyish-something Italian man gazed at the light of the fire airplane from the deck of a wooden sailing ship. "What is that?"

"I do not know, Admiral Columbus," A sailor said standing next to him. "It looks like the light of a small wax candle bobbing up and down."

"Perhaps it is land," The Italian man mused as the strange light suddenly disappeared. "Yes, that must be it. It is a sign that we have reached India at last! Hurrah!"

"Nabbing soap down in Louisville! Nineteen fifties!" Pyro described their next location. "We made such a din!"

"HELP! SHOPLIFTERS! VANDALS! HOOLIGANS! GET THEM!" A mob of angry locals shouted running down the sidewalks of a wrecked intersection blocked by a massive eighteen-car pileup.

"Refueling the machine while fleeing the scene!" Pyro went on as the Acolytes quickly fled from the mob. "On skateboard, scooter and Schwinn!"

"Watch it!" Remy yelped as he drove the 'borrowed' scooter with Pyro sprawled across his lap. "Get your pack out of my eyes! I can't see!"

"Aaahhhhhh!" Mastermind yelped as he clung to the back of the scooter while balancing precariously on the skateboard. "Help! How do you use this thing?!"

"Wait for us!" Piotr yelled as he pedaled the Schwinn with Sabertooth perched on the handlebars.

"Look out for the manhole!" Sabertooth roared as the bicycle swerved about erratically. "Not through the floral shop! AGGGHHHHHH!"

"What is going on out here?" A skinny, twelve-year-old boy strode out of a nearby auditorium. "Hey, somebody stole my bike! Help! Officer! Police!"

"There's a police officer down there," A passerby pointed to the basement of a nearby building. "He runs a local gym."

"Thanks," The boy sniffed and ran into the gym. "Help! Some no-good thief stole my bike!"

"Okay, calm down, son," The off-duty police sergeant put a hand on the crying boy's shoulder. "What's your name?"

"Cassius Clay," The boy wiped his nose with a determined look in his eye. "If I find whoever stole my bike, I'm gonna whup him!"

"Well, you better learn how to fight before you start challenging people that you're gonna whup," The police sergeant commented. "Have you ever tried boxing?"

"Oh, the sanctum of a basilica! Just outside of Paree!" Pyro gazed around at the cavernous Gothic ceiling, stained glass windows and massive clustered columns.

"If only we could find sanctuary here," Mastermind gasped as the mutants dashed through the nave. "Especially from insanity!"

"Saving the Scepter of Dagobert from revolutionaries!" Remy smiled tucking an enameled, filigreed gold rod topped with a small bird statue under his trench coat.

"That is one way to put it," Piotr groaned.

"AFTER THEM! SEND THE THIEVES TO THE GUILLOTINE!" A mob of enraged French revolutionaries chased after the Acolytes. "THEY HAVE DESECRATED ONE OF THE GREAT TREASURES OF THE REPUBLIC!"

"Looks who's talking!" Remy snapped gesturing at the multitude of broken windows, defaced sculptures and missing metal furniture. "Even we'd never wantonly destroy the interior of a church!"

"Yeah! This is one mess you can't blame on us!" Pyro yelled.

"I must admit it is a first," Piotr sighed. "Unfortunately, it is also likely to be the last!"

"Dreary daily hum of Boston is broken when, there occurs such a fuss!" Mastermind screamed while clinging to Sabertooth in terror.

"Leggo Bonzo!" Sabertooth snapped trying to shake him off. "You better not make any more rips in my pants!"

"As we cause pure mayhem while hanging ten!" Remy struggled to keep his balance. "On a wave of molasses!"

FA-WOOOOOOMMM!

"YAAAHHHHHH!" Hundreds of people shrieked and fled in panic as over two million gallons of molasses roared and bubbled down the streets sweeping several buildings off their foundations.

"Wheeeeee!" Pyro cackled happily as the Acolytes surfed along the twenty-foot-tall wave on the top of a large wooden warehouse door.

"WAAAHHHHHH!" The overwhelming sticky mass of molasses engulfed dozens of people including one young man bearing a striking resemblance to a certain ice-making mutant. "Help! I'm gonna drown…ow!"

"Sorry, homme!" Remy brushed against the young man as the Acolytes ran over him with their makeshift surfboard. "Thanks for the pocket watch!"

"AAAUUUGGGHHH!" Dozens of molasses-covered figures screamed and thrashed about as they struggled to escape the oozing, viscous flood.

"Oh, we're a travelin' band!" Piotr groaned.

"Yeah, we're a travelin' band!" Pyro cackled insanely. "Yeah, we're a travelin' band!"

"Whoa, we're a travelin' band!" Mastermind yelped as he nearly fell into the goo.

"Watch it, Bonzo!" Sabertooth yelled. "What did I tell you about my…!"

RIIIPPP!

"Grassy dry steppes of Transoxiana!" Remy gazed up at the seemingly endless blue sky. "Full of nomadic strife!"

"AHHH! HELP! SAVE ME! WAAAHHHHHH!" Mastermind yelped ducking a storm of incoming arrows.

"Calm down. It all over," Piotr assured him as their teammates drove away a squad of attacking horsemen.

"Fending off a raid mounted teenagers made!" Sabertooth roared in triumph. "Wounding one boy lame for life!"

"Gahhh!" One of the young raiders gasped at the deep wounds Sabertooth had inflicted to his right arm and thigh.

"What happened to you?" One of his companions asked as they rode away from the Acolytes.

"I was set upon by the large hairy man," The young man hissed in agony. "I swear his fingers were tipped like dragon claws!"

"So much for your vaunted warrior skills and nickname," Another raider snorted. "Instead of 'the Ferocious' everyone will start calling you 'the Lame'."

"Eh, so be it," The young man's eyed burned in determination. "The world will one day tremble at the mere mention of Timur the Lame!"

"Tricked a waiting Roman army! Gave them a fright!" Mastermind shook his head in amazement. "In Ancient Italia!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Thousands of terrified Roman legionnaires ran about in confusion.

"Riding cattle at night with their horns alight!" Remy smirked at the sight. "Along Hannibal Barca!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro whooped riding a bullock made of fire as he led two thousand cattle with burning torches attached to their horns to wreak havoc among the broken Roman line.

"RRROOOAAARRRRRR!" Sabertooth rode at the head of the herd swiping at men staggering around the seeming sea of flames.

"Excellent," Hannibal, the famed Carthaginian general watched the mutants, cattle and flames dislodge the Roman force guarding a mountain pass. "The way is clear. We are free to fight another day!"

"AGGGHHH! JUPITER BEST AND GREATEST SAVE US!" Panicked legionnaires yelled as they fled from the conflagration. "THESE CRAZY LUNATICS DON'T FIGHT FAIR!"

"Oh, canoeing across Superior!" Remy sang while paddling like his life depended on it. "On down to Lake Huron!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Mastermind huddled at the bottom of their birchbark canoe as it shot through a series of rapids.

"Wheeeeee!" Pyro giggled excitedly.

"Singing along with fellow voyageurs!" Sabertooth made deep, rapid paddle stokes while bellowing his lungs out. "'C'est l'aviron!'"

"C'est l'aviron qui nous mène en haut!" The small brigade of tireless French Canadians cheered heartily.

"Look out for the rocks!" Piotr warned as the canoes knifed through the waves and rapids. "Look out for the bears!"

"Bears?!" Mastermind goggled at the line of grizzly bears fishing among the rocks. "AAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Spreading chaos and destruction in an eyeblink!" Piotr groaned in the next time period. "Which no one can fix!"

"No kidding," Sabertooth growled at an utterly destroyed collection of valves, gauges and controls.

"Causing air lines to kink and hopes to sink!" Remy commented at the damage. "While aboard U-196!"

"The hatches are jammed! We are all going to die!" The crew of the doomed German U-boat screamed in terror. "Maybe we can shoot ourselves out the torpedo tubes!"

"Oh joy, trapped on board a submerged submarine that can't surface," Mastermind moaned standing in the middle of the wrecked control room as the U-boat began to list having lost nearly all electrical power. "Now I get to decide whether I want to die by drowning or suffocation."

"There must be a third option," Piotr said hopefully.

"Ooo, look at all the whales!" Pyro cooed peering through the periscope. "Oh wait, those aren't whales. They're an unusually large school of fully-grown tiger sharks!"

"You had to say that, didn't you?" Mastermind groaned.

"Our arrival on the Tibetan scene! Caused the place quite a stir!" Pyro giggled happily.

"YAAAHHHHHH!" People and animals streamed out from a massive fortress with inward-sloping walls built on top a hill rising above a flat river valley.

"Flooding the royal palace in shaving cream!" Remy smirked admiring their handiwork. "And toilet paper!"

"AAAIIIEEEEEE!" The foam-covered emperor Langdarma shrieked tumbling down a very long flight of stairs with his robes wrapped in several burning trails of toilet paper. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Thanks for the headgear, punk!" Sabertooth called after him while wearing the emperor's golden headpiece. "This thing really helps keep my bangs out of my face."

"Too bad it doesn't completely cover your face," Mastermind quipped wearing a fox-fur felt hat. "That's one feature everyone would appreciate."

"I do not believe this," Piotr shook his head at the flooded, ruined palace. "Where did all this shaving cream and toilet paper come from?"

"Soap wasn't the only thing we picked up in Louisville," Remy grinned patting his pockets.

"Viewed the play 'Henry VIII' from the rafters above, the stage's timber frames!" Remy commented watching the latest spectacle.

"AAAHHHHHH! RUN FOR THY LIVES!" Actors and audience members alike shrieked and fled in terror.

"Accidentally drenching the roof of, the Globe Theater in flames!" Mastermind groaned.

"Who cares? The place was a dump," Sabertooth growled as the three-story, open-air amphitheater was enveloped in fire. "It's not like we destroyed a place that had any real cultural value. Like a local brewery."

"Eh, we did that once in London already," Remy quipped. "It'd get boring if we just started repeating ourselves."

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Pyro laughed manically watching the flames quickly consume the wooden balconies and thatched roof. "Now that's what I call performance art!"

"MY THEATER! NOOOOOOOOO!" A frantic William Shakespeare wailed in despair. "O MAD INSANE WORLD, THAT HAS SUCH LUNATICS IN IT… AAAGGGHHHHHH! WHO HAST STOLEN MY SIGNET RING?!"

"Oh, we're a travelin' band!" Piotr groaned as the Acolytes slipped away from the blaze.

"Yeah, we're a travelin' band!" Remy smirked slipping Shakespeare's missing ring into his trench coat.

"Yeah, we're a travelin' band!" Pyro cheered as the Globe theater proceeded to burn to the ground.

"Woe, we're a travelin' band!" Mastermind moaned holding his head.

"Hmmm, sounds like some things real will end up echoing through the ages," Sabertooth grunted. "Like Jerry Fuller's screams!"

Historical notes: Joseph Stalin was the General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union from 1924 A.D. to 1953 A.D. and became its de facto dictator by 1937 A.D. He is best known for his policies of mass deportations, executions, famines, purges and repressions, rapid industrialization and agricultural collectivization of the Soviet economy and leading the Soviet Union during World War II. Soon after the German invasion of the Soviet Union on June 22, 1941 A.D., Stalin reportedly isolated himself in his private dacha for several days. While various theories have been proposed over the years ranging from staging a loyalty test of his subordinates to suffering a nervous breakdown, the exact reason for Stalin's self-imposed isolation has never "officially" been revealed.

Cleopatra VII Philopator was a Greek queen and the last active, independent ruler of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt from 51 B.C. to 30 B.C. She is best known for her intelligence, romantic affair with Roman politician and general Julius Caesar, her affair and marriage to Roman general Marcus Antonius (also known as Mark Antony) and committing suicide after losing the last civil war of Roman Republic.

Tycho Brahe was a Danish nobleman and astronomer during the latter half of the 16th century A.D. His many contributions include improving the accuracy of astronomical instruments, setting new standards for precise celestial observations and influencing his assistant Johannes Kepler in developing his Three Laws of Planetary Motion. Brahe lost part of his nose in a sword duel with his third cousin Manderup Parsberg after a drunken quarrel over who was the superior mathematician which resulted in Brahe wearing various prosthetic noses for the rest of his life made of brass, silver and gold. Brahe also kept a tame elk in his castle which purportedly died after falling down some stairs after drinking too much beer.

Ninja, or shinobi, were covert agents and mercenaries specializing in deception, espionage, sabotage and surprise attacks during Japan's feudal era mainly between the 15th to 17th centuries A.D. The best-known clans and traditions related to ninjas originated from the Iga and Kōka regions. General Ashikaga Yoshihisa led the forces of several daimyos against the ruling Rokkaku clan of Kōka in 1487 A.D.

The Battle of Vienna occurred on September 12, 1683 A.D. when a combined force of the Holy Roman Empire and the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth relieved the city which had being besieged for two months by the Ottoman Empire. The climax of the battle occurred when Polish king John III Sobieski led 18,000 cavalry spearheaded by 3,000 Polish winged hussars against the Ottoman army, widely considered to be the largest cavalry charge in history.

Machu Picchu was an Incan estate and citadel situated at an elevation of 7,970 feet (2,430 m) above sea level on a ridge between the Huayna Picchu and Machu Picchu mountains. It was constructed during the mid-15th century A.D. only to be abandoned around 1572 A.D. during the Spanish Conquest. While various theories have been proposed over the years, the exact reason the Incas abandoned Machu Picchu has never "officially" been determined.

Neanderthals, also known as homo neanderthalensis, were a species of archaic humans which lived in Eurasia between 400,000 B.C. to around 40,000 B.C. Their distinguishing physical traits included more robust builds, elongated skulls, broader chests and larger average cranial capacities compared to modern humans. Many theories have been suggested for contributing to the extinction of Neanderthals including disease, climatic factors, inability to adapt or evolve and competition with the emergence of a new species of humans, homo sapiens.

Christopher Columbus was an Italian explorer and sailor whose four voyages across the Atlantic Ocean between 1492 A.D. and 1502 A.D. led the way for European conquest and colonization of the Americas. During the night on October 11, 1492 A.D. Columbus sighted an unknown light "like a small wax candle that rose and lifted up" shortly before reaching the island of Guanahani, his first landing in the Americas. While various theories have been proposed over the years, the exact source of Columbus' light sighting has never "officially" been determined.

Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. eventually took up boxing and made his amateur boxing debut in 1954 A.D. He went on to win six Kentucky Golden Gloves titles, two national Golden Gloves titles, an Amateur Athletic Union national title and the Olympic Light Heavyweight gold medal in 1960 A.D. He made his professional debut on October 29, 1960 A.D. and became the World Heavyweight Boxing Champion on February 25, 1964 A.D., later becoming the only three-time lineal champion of that division. Clay soon changed his name to the one he is most identified with as one of the greatest professional boxers of all time: Muhammad Ali.

The Scepter of Dagobert was a distinctive, enameled gold rod considered to be the oldest part of the French Crown Jewels. It is believed to have been crafted during the 7th century A.D. for King Dagobert I, the first Frankish king to be buried in the royal tombs of the Basilica of Saint-Denis. The scepter was stored in the basilica until it disappeared in 1795 A.D. during the French Revolution. While the French Crown Jewels have consisted of various other scepters over the years, the Scepter of Dagobert has never "officially" been recovered.

The Great Molasses Flood occurred on January 15, 1919 A.D. in the North End neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts. A large storage tank belonging to the Purity Distilling Company burst causing as much as 2,300,000 gallons (8,706,447 liters) of molasses to rush through the streets at a top estimated speed of 35 mph (56 km/h). While various studies and theories have been conducted over the years, the exact cause for the storage tank's collapse has never "officially" been determined.

Timur the Lame, also known as Tamerlane, was a 14th century Turko-Mongol leader and conqueror widely considered to be one of the greatest military commanders and tacticians in history. He was the first ruler and founder of the Timurid dynasty and Empire which consisted of large parts of Persia, Central Asia, the southern Caucasus, Mesopotamia and northern India. As a young man Timur suffered serious injuries to his right arm and leg, both of which rendered him crippled for life. While various accounts have been recorded over the years, the exact cause of Timur's crippling wounds has never "officially" been determined.

The Battle of Ager Falernus occurred on a September night in 217 B.C during the Second Punic War between Carthage and the Roman Republic. The Romans had seemingly surrounded and trapped an opposing Carthaginian army led by the famed general Hannibal Barca in the fertile Falernum river valley surrounded by mountains. Hannibal broke out of the trap by herding two thousand cattle with burning branches tied to their horns near one of the mountain passes. The stampeding cattle tricked the blocking Roman force into moving out of position, uncovered the mountain pass, left the isolated Roman detachment vulnerable to a night ambush and allowed Hannibal and his army to escape.

Voyageurs were French Canadian traders and fur trappers who transported their cargoes by canoe during the 17th to 19th centuries A.D. They were licensed, long-distance transportation operators who traveled mainly along the Ottawa River, St. Lawrence River and the Great Lakes. They are best known for their grueling lifestyles, perilous journeys and legendary status in Canadian music and folklore.

U-196 was a Type IXD2 submarine of the German Kriegsmarine during World War II. It was launched on April 24, 1942 A.D. eventually undertaking three patrols, the first being the longest patrol made by a submarine during World War II (225 days). U-196 was last reported leaving Batavia, Java on November 30, 1944 A.D. and was declared missing twelve days later. While various accounts and theories have been proposed over the years, the exact fate of U-196 has never "officially" been determined.

Langdarma was the last emperor of a unified Tibetan Empire during the mid-9th century A.D. He is best known for succeeding his more famous brother Ralpacan, his repression of Buddhism during his reign and dealing with various external troubles. Langdarma was reportedly assassinated by a Buddhist monk or hermit in 841 A.D. His death was followed by civil war, the dissolution of the Tibetan Empire and the Era of Fragmentation.

The Globe Theater was a London theater built in 1599 A.D. by the Lord's Chamberlain's Men playing company. It is best known as the venue where most of the plays credited to English actor, poet and playwright William Shakespeare debuted (Shakespeare's share of the theater varied between 7 and 12.5 percent). The Globe Theater reportedly caught fire on June 29, 1613 A.D. when a spark from a misdirected stage cannon landed on the theater's thatched roof, set it alight and burned the entire theater to the ground within an hour.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Travelin' Man" by Jerry Fuller.