Ladies and gentlemen, the finale of 'Steady On'.
( X )
Numb, and out of breath.
That's all she felt.
She'd never known this kind of heartbreak existed... She had never known she could feel this much, other than the love she held for him...
( X )
Deep within the galaxy, darkness grew, powered by a single, broken heart. Growing, and growing, and growing...
( X )
She didn't know how much time had passed, and she wasn't concerned enough to think about it.
It all had felt so unreal, like she wasn't actually here, wasn't actually experiencing this loss.
By now, she sat in a dark, cold room, only a foot away from Ben's body that now rested on top of a long table, placed in the middle of the room.
The dust and the dirt in the air seemed frozen its place, as if trying to avoid the dark bubble that surrounded Rey.
She felt it all, she felt the darkness entangling within her, soaking her skin and poisoning her blood, and it dawned on her, that this was the dark side, the power and hatred she was being drowned in. Others, she knew, would have ran from it, and for a long time, she did too... but here she sat, finding comfort in it as it distracted her from her pain...
A sudden knock on the door tore her away from the dark she began to delve into, and for a moment, Rey took it as a sign to not go down that path... But the positivity vanished as her eyes sadly went back to Ben's frozen face, tears brimming her swollen, red eyes.
"Hey," Poe said softly to her, standing in the doorway. He watched his friend while she remained mute and still, not taking any chances to look at him, still waiting for a miracle with Ben Solo.
He inhaled slowly, and gulped down everything he was feeling; Confusion, sorrow, disappointment. He wasn't sure which he felt more at this point.
Silence set between them for a long moment, as he shuffled his feet, he wasn't sure what to say.
After a while, he cleared his throat and moved to go sit next to Rey on the broken, stone bench, nudging her shoulder softly.
"The rest of the First Order surrendered, Rey. You did it... You both did it..." He said in a low whisper.
He didn't get any response, and he wasn't really expecting one in the state she was in, so he continued. "We sent a team out to investigate the wreckage... Ended up finding a bunch of those crates with the weapons you experienced on Naboo...None of them were used... Leia suspects Hux wasn't aware of that..."
To his side, Rey remained silent, though she listened distantly, and his statement made her wonder.
Had Hux's troopers sabotaged him? Had they given up the fight long before they were set to end the war? In the end, she guessed they realized it was either kill, or be killed.
She wasn't sure, but she wished she would have known...
Again, she felt the darkness take over...
She would have known, if she was a better Jedi... If the force was actually on her side...
"Rey...I..." Poe struggled, trying to find the words, trying to sort out what it was he was feeling. "I didn't know... I can't understand it, really... Why you chose him,"
As Poe spoke, Rey continued studying Ben's face, as if she was waiting for the moment his long, dark lashes would open, and he'd turn his head and find her, as he always did, and would hold here in her place with his gaze alone.
She so desperately ached for it.
Not wanting to sob in front of Poe again, she turned her head, letting silent tears roll down her cheeks.
Rey never expected anyone to understand their relationship. It was complex, the two of them. It was divine, and raw, something more than words and deeper than love.
"Either way... I'm... I'm sorry, Rey... I'm sorry you lost someone that..." He forced a sigh. "That you cared for."
In a way, Rey understood why Poe struggled to get the words out.
But she couldn't bring herself to care, or to fight, or even thank him.
Eventually, Poe excused himself to go check on the others, and still, Rey didn't say a word, keeping quiet as hot, angry tears continued to fall.
She felt it then, as she began to hate the people that brought them here, began to curse them with vile words and a venomous tone.
She felt that black, cold hand brush over her, the hand that guided all dark things and energized that evil power. She felt it in her fingertips, could feel it color her eyes as she sat in the room that held the only thing that mattered now.
With the company of the dark side, she wept.
( X )
Pure anger was something Rey had encountered before.
But never, ever had it carried the weight of a broken heart.
( X )
Her face was still a mess with dried tears and sweat, dirt filling the creases and pores of her face as she sat there, willing the force to bend and break to her will.
Every time it refused, only fueled her anger more and more, until she could sense the walls trembling and the small particles of dust in the air avoid her with urgency.
Her hand lay on top of Ben's, stroking away and away, waiting for the motion to be returned... Waiting... Pleading...
Rey moved to bend forward, letting her forehead softly rest against the back of his hand as her eyes drifted close, and that's when she felt a hard jolt to her spine, as if she was provided an answer by a teacher that was losing their patience.
Her eyes opened then, slightly wide as her breathing grew ragged.
Her head turned slowly, casting a quick glance behind her, knowing there was not any one there, though she felt something cold and dark anyway...
Focusing back on Ben, she stood over him with her hand now cupping his cheek, feeling the presence around her.
The door began to open, and without a second thought, Rey's mind commanded it to shut tight as a small, fragile voice spoke up from the other side.
"Rey?" Leia called, concerned with tight emotion in her voice.
Again, her mind acted before she could think, and Rey's force locked the door just as her eyes closed again, feeling for Ben.
She'd been there before, in the space stuck between life and death, where the force resided and provided its peace.
No, she wasn't in danger, and she wasn't at risk of losing her life, nor was she already dead...
But she'd been there... She'd known that place...
And she was determined to find it again.
( X )
It wasn't sunny, nor dark here, but the skies were white and grey with light clouds surrounding the area as far as the eye could see, and the ground itself provided cushion with blades of grass.
The air was fresh, and awoke the senses more than the waves crashing below the high-top mountain he lay on.
Ben Solo began to awaken, blinking a few times, slowly, to try and recognize his surroundings, to try and realize what hurt more, only to discover that there was no pain.
Instantly, he sat up as he looked down at his abdomen, expecting sore spots, or at the very least, a few bandages.
But there was none. Instead, he saw dark, grey garb, similar to what he wore when he was just a padawan training with Luke.
His large hand slowly moved to touch the fabric, with his brows furrowed in confusion. He let it fall back against his lap as looked around, trying his best to gain control over the force and awake the rest of his senses, though he came to a halt when the force instead commanded him to remain calm.
Hesitantly, he stood up and glanced around, gazing far across the peaceful ocean for just a moment before taking a few steps forward, with a glance below him, Ben saw old, stone stairs cascading down onto a large, empty patio.
With a small gulp, and still on edge with the unknown, Ben made his way down, irritation growing as he felt the absence of his lightsaber.
Approaching the railing, he stood there as he again took in his surroundings; green moss grew on every other stone along the path, and vines followed the way of the railings, passing an empty table with a few chairs that seemed to have hosted guests not too long ago.
With a quirk of his brow, Ben tossed another glance behind him as the wind softly ruffled his hair.
With no one in sight, he took a moment to inhale the ocean breeze, allowing his shoulders to lose an inch of the tension they held.
He was still confused, and extremely lost, but the comfort of this place quieted his turmoil.
Was it the force? He continued to wonder.
His aches and pains were gone, without even a bruise to be felt... He knew he had been hurt... What had happened?
Slowly, the events began to replay in his mind in snippets; He felt his mother's presence approaching the field before he even heard her voice... The distraction caused him to miss the other trooper's shot before he took them down...And he remembered stumbling... and the pain searing his flesh and blood... And Rey...
At the thought of Rey, the tension returned instantly, realizing her presence was not anywhere near him.
With a shot of panic, his heel quickly turned to begin his search, however he abruptly stopped once he turned.
A man stood there, dressed in black, with his arms casually crossed against his chest as he smiled slyly at Ben.
Ben tested the force, trying to gain sense of who this man was, and where he'd come from, but it was as though the force was blocked now, and warming up to the person that watched him.
He took a step to the side, a fighting stance, making sure the stranger would not gain any advantage on his back.
The man chuckled, and it made Ben's hand ball into a fist at his side.
"I knew we were very much alike, but never could have guessed it was this much." The man nonchalantly stated with a grin, though the feature wasn't taunting or judging.
He seemed to be sincere, which threw Ben off even more.
Again, Ben looked to the sides of the stoned pathway, looking for any others, and came across no one as his eyes settled back on the man in front of him.
"Who are you?" Ben asked after a moment, studying the man's face as he leaned against a broken pillar, arms still crossed.
He smiled at Ben, making him wait before he spoke. "You sought me out for years, and now you don't know who I am?"
For a long while, Ben merely looked at him with an empty look, before his brows slowly knitted together as the realization settled in.
"You... You're-"
"Yes." Anakin Skywalker said a single, small nod.
After a second, Ben moved to kneel before him with his head hung low and eyes on the ground, however Anakin easily channeled the force to stop him, awkwardly pushing his grandson's leg back into a standing position. Gently, the force retracted.
"None of that." He stated.
Ben's mouth opened to speak, and closed with a second thought.
He wasn't sure what to say, and was extremely caught off guard by meeting the ghost he'd looked up to for so long.
At the long silence, Anakin's head tilted to the side. "What is it?"
Ben blinked and thought for a moment before he gulped.
"I... I'm not sure what to say. I... I always spoke to you, I asked for guidance..." With a sharp inhale at the memories, Ben took another moment to think. "It all seems so... meaningless now." He muttered while glancing away into the distance.
Anakin watched the younger man, pinpointing which features looked like his own, and realizing with a small twist in his heart that the boy shared the same eye color as Padme...
He gulped, just at the same time as Ben did. "It was never meaningless, the times you asked for guidance. I always heard, I was always with you, Ben. But it wasn't our time."
At that, Ben's eyes moved to meet his grandfather's. "And now is?" he asked.
With a small nod, Anakin answered, choosing to let Ben speak and find his own questions, rather than hound the boy right then and there.
So much emotion ran through Ben, so many questions fluttered his mind. His idol, the man that he aimed to follow for all his years, the man he was told he was destined to replace... Seemed so normal in this nature.
Ben knew he never expected his grandfather to show up in his suit and mask, but he wasn't sure what exactly he had pictured in its place.
"You and I, we are a lot more similar than just the attitude and sarcasm," Anakin moved past Ben, his eyes set on the ocean as a small smirk came to play at his lips. "and the good looks may I add."
With a sigh, Anakin continued. "Ask away. I can feel the turmoil. Do not be afraid to speak here."
Instinctively, Ben bit the corner of his inner lip before he spoke. "What is this place? What happened to me? I feel the force all around the land, but it doesn't allow me to call to it..."
Anakin softly chuckled at Ben's outpour. "It's a land where the force resides, made up of your own inner peace, an in-between, if you will."
Without a second to be wasted, Ben's mind worked to make sense of it. "Have I died?"
His eyes fell on the back of Anakin's head, watching a hard, eager look as his grandfather slowly turned, shifting from foot to foot before meeting gazes.
"Your physical body, yes."
The words shocked Ben.
The instant the words were spoken, pure panic and heartbreak followed, a deep ache to find Rey, to tell her he was okay, nearly made him double over.
Ben turned his back to Anakin, blinking a couple of times to bite back the tears that threatened to sting his eyes. To resist the pain he felt, he chose to bite his tongue, tasting blood almost instantly.
Watching his grandson as he felt the pain overtake him, Anakin chose to give him a moment to process before he spoke softly. "She's okay."
Again, another tear to Ben's heart, something that he hadn't felt so strongly since Han.
He placed a large hand on the stone railing, to steady himself and try to remember his surroundings. With a sharp inhale, his shoulders tried to straighten, only to fall with his heart.
"How... How did it happen?" Ben asked, his voice soft and quiet, as if he was whispering in hopes that Rey wouldn't hear.
He wondered if she was okay, if she mourned him, like he would of her if their roles were reversed. The thought made his spine tremble, his own body acting out in defiance of the chilling thought of losing her instead.
In a way, he supposed he did... But he found solace in the fact that she was breathing, that she was living, and that's all he wanted for her.
That's all he ever wanted for her...
"As one of her friends put it, you won by saving what you loved."
The statement brought stinging hot tears to Ben's eyes as he looked over the grey skies. He couldn't bring himself to ever do it again, he realized, to ever deny his love for Rey, and not even deny the love he still held for his mother.
With the realization, came self-loathing as his mind began to work fast at punishing himself, forcing his inner being to feel the torment that his mother must have felt when he took Han's life.
Yes, he decided, he deserved every bit of this – To die loving something so great, that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it when he had it.
With a quick rattle to his mind, he shook his head, knowing he enjoyed every single moment, and it was because of the light, the warmth sun that Rey had brought him back to, a new home to be shared and take comfort in.
A single tear spilled over and trailed down his cheek, and Ben didn't bother to wipe it away. Instead, he slowly looked to the floor, with a saddened chuckle escaping his lips, an odd sound to his own ears as immense grief took over him.
Suddenly, Ben felt a weighted softness cover his hand, and he slowly looked up, expecting to see his grandfather's comfort, however there was nothing there.
With a confused quirk of his brow, Ben glanced to his side, and still, found no one.
"It's okay, kid."
His father's voice rang through his mind, subtle, but firm.
The ghost of his own father flittered through him, making his heart race with urgency and panic as his head whipped around, needing to see his father, needing to talk to him, to apologize, even beg for forgiveness.
The urgent need for his father's comfort made Ben feel small, like a child crying for the arms of their parent... He couldn't even remember the last time he had ever felt that way, if ever.
Again, he felt his father's presence surrounding him, and with these final words echoing through his mind, Ben Solo's heart warmed with the comfort he sought, the only comfort his father would be capable of providing him in his time of need.
"We love you anyway, son. Always."
( X )
Anakin gave Ben a long while to get his thoughts in order, as much as he could anyway. He remembered being in the same state; Shocked, scared, confused, angry.
This in between land within the force wasn't ideal, but did bring peace eventually, as this peace surrounded them entirely.
With a sigh, Anakin began to make his way to Ben, who had now begun to walk up the stone stairway along the mountain.
"I have to find her." Ben said, his tone completely stern.
It brought a smile to Anakin's face.
"I said the same thing, once upon a time." He stated, causing Ben to stop mid-step. He turned to look at his grandfather, still astonished that he was here, finally answering him, though he couldn't shake the urgency he still felt to get back to Rey, whatever it took.
Anakin almost snickered. "Don't give me that look." He said as he brushed past Ben, now taking the lead up the stairs, with Ben slowly tailing behind. "I have a friend I want you to meet."
A short while later, the pair reached the top of the staircase and now stood on top of a long, broken patio.
Ben looked around, discovering pieces of what resembled a castle, now lay on the ground. It surprised him, how beautiful it seemed, and broken, this land. Everything was grey and white, and the grass and trees around them were vibrant shades of green, and the stones remained as memories of what once was.
Catching his attention, Anakin gestured to a man that was lounging casually on a broken bench overlooking the sea below, sipping from a cup in one hand. The man straightened in his chair as he felt the presence from the pair's arrival, and stood to greet them.
Ben, who was already on edge, took a step back as the man approached. Without his lightsaber, he dared not to take any chances, even with his grandfather at his side.
"Ben, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi."
The man clasped his own hands together and held them at his front, sending a soft smile to Ben and a bow of his head.
Several words and titles rushed within the air, a flutter of energy that Anakin exerted; Master, friend, brother – Ben wasn't sure which fit best, but his shoulders lost a little bit of the tension they once held at Anakin's ease around him.
Growing up, he had heard so many stories of good and bravery about this man, all before Snoke attempted to debunk them, branding him as a traitor and killer.
He hated himself for it, but he was still on edge.
"It's alright, Ben. There can be no harm done here, in this world. I was a friend of your families, and I am a friend of yours." Obi stated, his tone almost sad and sorrowful for Ben.
Something about it, about the events that lead here and meeting his grandfather, and feeling his father's presence, made his knees weak.
From pain? From exhaustion? He wasn't sure, but again, he felt a sad wave of emotion tug at him again, and he had no choice but to let his gaze fall to the ground, a bad attempt at trying to hide his grief.
"I... I've heard a lot about you." Ben muttered, the only thing that came to his tongue at the moment as his mind circled back to Rey. "Where... Where is she?"
It got quiet then, with Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanging a look. Their glance lingered longer than it should have, and Ben felt the air thicken so much that he looked up with wide, eager eyes, waiting for the response.
Anakin shifted from foot to foot, reading whatever was on Obi's mind as he glanced far across the sea.
"How?" Anakin asked, his brows knitting together as he stepped forward to get a better look.
Ben, who still wasn't sure what was going, watched Obi's face as the man tried to find the words.
"I'm not sure... No one is sure, really..." Obi stumbled to say.
Ben looked from Obi to Anakin, trying to decipher the panic that was arriving in both men.
When neither said any more, Ben took two large steps and stood in front of his grandfather.
"What is it? I have to find a way back; you have to help me!"
Obi was already shaking his head as he turned around to face him. "It's not that simple, Ben."
Ben's mouth formed into a tight line as he gulped. "Why?" he demanded. "It was easy enough to bring me here, in this in between place. I didn't ask for this. Why am I here?" He nearly begged, his voice beginning to break as he desperately searched for answers.
Obi looked at the back of Anakin sadly as he began to speak with a slow, soft tone that offered sorrow and comfort as best it could. Ben thought it made him feel worse as he listened, trying not to break down. "You did good. You were selfless. This is where we come to have our peace, to observe, to offer guidance when we can, when the force allows it without interference. Every one believed in you, Ben. And you did great."
Again, Ben looked down to the ground as his chin trembled, and his heart ached.
"Is... is there no going back?" He asked, defeatedly.
"Obi..." Anakin started, his eyes still on the far distance of the ocean. Obi held a hand up to halt what he was going to say as he stepped forward to Ben, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder and gently squeezing.
"That is up to you. Your body is damaged... Severely damaged, at that... If you return, there's no telling if you'd have any force energy to find your back here, shall things not work in your favor..."
"And so, I'll die, completely." Ben finished for him. He lifted his head up and met Obi's eyes, taking the man's silence as confirmation.
Ben's head began to pound at his choices. Either live in this in-between world, with the ability to watch over Rey, or try to return to her with no guarantee that he'd survive, and lose the option of this world and its ability all together...
With a shaky breath, he bit the inside of his cheek.
"Obi-" Anakin tried once more, his tone alert and urgent. Obi hushed him once more as he tried to comfort Ben, waiting for his response, if he had the answer.
"Obi!" Anakin said louder.
The man scowled and turned abruptly to Anakin, stopping mid scold. "Oh, what is it Anakin, that it couldn't wait another minute?-"
Both Anakin and Obi watched the skies across the ocean with wide eyes, so silent that Ben turned to see what was going on.
Across the blue seas, in the very far distance, the grey skies seemed to twirl into dark purple clouds, heavy with rain, loud with thunder, and bolts of lightning striking here and there.
The storm grew larger by the minute, as if a hurricane was beginning to form and move in the fastest pace.
"How-" Obi began to ask, before Anakin answered.
"I don't know. No one has ever done it." Anakin stated, in awe.
"Is she-"
"Yes, I think so." Ben heard his grandfather say with a breath.
Ben gulped as he eyed the heavy, dark storm that was approaching, feeling a presence looming over the island, as if the humidity was already there, sucking the lands dry.
The purple that coated the grey seemed so familiar to him, so raw...
Like the lightning that bolted out from deep within the clouds, his mind worked to remind him of Rey's saber, so violent and pure.
His eyes widened as he stepped forward.
"Rey?" He turned to the men. "I thought she was okay? I thought she lived!" He seethed, taking another step as his heart began to pound.
Obi-Wan began to shake his head, his concerned gaze still watching the storm approaching them. "She is. She's alive, she's still there..."
"She's forced herself in, she's found it."
Together, all three men watched as the storm approached across the sea, waves crashing against each other and along the rock of the large mountain they stood on, each of them baffled and shocked.
The amount of energy it was taking her to shove her presence here, in this land of in between, could end her, Ben was sure of it.
Blinking several times, his heart ached. Had she come in search of him?
"Ben..." Anakin called to him.
He knew right then, without needing to take another moment to think it over.
It was Rey.
It was always Rey.
"I have to." Ben said sternly.
As he moved to step forward, Obi stopped him with a hand to his shoulder.
"It's not a guarantee, Ben-"
Ben turned to him, his eyes red with angst and despair, on the verge of tears caused by his inner panic.
"If she exhausts all of her force power, there's no telling if she will make it back here were she to pass. This can't be for nothing! She's more than this!"
"So are you, Ben." Anakin said softly as his eyes grew sad. "But I understand. I would give my life for my Padme, I'd die a thousand deaths for her to have one more breath." He inhaled a slow, steady breath of fresh air before returning his eyes back to meet his grandson's, who's were now pooling with hot, angry tears.
He continued, "The choice is yours. The choice will always be yours."
The silence grew between them for only a moment as the wind picked up, heavy with the scent of the impending storm the island was about to endure.
At a moment of clarity, Obi smirked.
"You have a moment to think about it, Ben." Obi said while he glanced to the heavy storm across the seas.
Both Ben and Anakin looked at him questioningly as the man began to softly smile.
"She's with an old friend."
( X )
She wasn't sure what had happened.
She wasn't sure what she'd done to get here, the place she'd been to before when she herself had died. But she remembered finding answers here, and finding peace.
During that time, she had been lost, without cause, and without the love she had now experienced.
What was different, however, was now she was not the one who had died, and this was not a place that one would just up and find.
After deep meditation, Rey's mind seemed to crumble at the feeling of her loss and heartbreak, a literal shatter of her mind and being, the force losing its grip on her soul and teeter-tottering within her veins.
And similar to how she fought in battle, Rey saw her opening and barged in, surpassing the gates that withheld the force, finding any hint of the force signature that captured her heart so intently.
She felt Ben here. There was no doubt about it.
Her frown began to soften, and her hardened features slowly disappeared. The true anger and despair she felt paused as she opened her tightly shut eyes, her hair blowing across her face from the sharp, chaotic winds that surrounded her along with the purple skies.
With shock, Rey realized she was in the middle of a dark, dry storm.
Had she caused this? The only thing she thought that could possibly explain thi-
"Rey."
She froze at the sound of her name whispered behind her, the voice belonging to none other than her Master, Luke Skywalker.
Instantly, she felt hot, tears fill her eyes as she turned to him, sneering at him as the thunder boomed around the small island they stood on, waves crashing all around them.
"I called for you so many times! And now when it's too late, you're here?" She scoffed, a soft sob escaping her lips as she began to pace feverishly.
"Rey..." He tried again, his hands holding another in front of him as his own hair blew in the wind. His entire demeanor seemed patient, and expecting, which only seemed to anger Rey even more.
"I loved him!" She screamed above the loud winds and thunder. Her tone dripped with venom as she began to break down, her pacing coming to stop in front of Luke. "I loved him and you knew it!"
She sank to her knees, her face buried in her hands as her shoulders shook with her sobs. The sounds that escaped her were in tune with the thunder that shook the ground, so much so that the waves began to roll in.
As ocean water surrounded her knees, she moved her hands and looked down, spotting her own reflection staring back at her; Yellows eyes sunken in purple lids. The visual made her shoot back, blinking a few times and rubbing at her tear stained eyes as she stood, the ocean receding.
"Do not let grief overcome you, Rey-"
With her palms pressed over her eyes, she stifled another sob, biting her bottom lip to help. "How? How could you possibly say this?" She whispered.
Without fear of what she was turning into, Luke stepped towards her, placing his warm hands on her shoulders, giving her a small shake to let her hands fall away. When they did, he bent his head to meet her gaze, and watched as the yellow began to slowly fade, just as the winds slowed and thunder quieted.
"The love you both created saved one another, Rey. I saw it. I'm sorry for ever doubting it, but I saw it with my own eyes, and I felt it even more when he died saving what he loved."
Sniffling, Rey thought for a moment as her broken voice whispered the name. "Leia?"
With a small, sad smile, Luke nodded. "He always had that love, even if he denied it. But you brought it out of him. That's how he's here. That's how his force has found peace."
Rey looked away as she took it in.
Ben, at peace? At least, his force found it...
The thought made her want to sob again.
She knew deep down that no one deserved this peace more than Ben, that the man deemed to rule the galaxy and take it down all the same, ended up saving it, deserved all the happiness amongst the stars...
She just never considered it would be without her.
But the thought, nonetheless, gave her more comfort than anything else possibly could have.
"Can... Can I talk to him?" Rey whispered, and Luke shook his head slowly, and sadly.
"Rey... The fact that you have found your way here, and how you found a way to...deceive the force... has baffled us all. You shouldn't be here. It's... It's unnatural, in this state."
Rey's lip trembled involuntarily, beginning to feel like a child that had done something wrong.
All she wanted was Ben. She just wanted him safe, with her.
"What will happen?" She asked quietly, afraid of the answer as a tear rolled down her cheek. Her heart was still broken, and anxiety filled her knowing that Ben was somewhere in this world, yet he wasn't nearby and she wouldn't get the chance to talk to him.
In a way, she understood... But she hated the hurt that the truth carried.
Luke inhaled slowly. "You try to go back, and you let Ben decide, just as you once had to."
Her eyes met his once more. "You... You were there after all?"
He nodded. "Always, kiddo."
The way he casually spoke to her made Rey's body shake with a quiet sob that she refused to let escape. Even if it was for a short while, this man was still her mentor and Master, and in the end, he was still trying to help her.
Luke moved to grab her hand, and slowly led her to the center of the small island, letting her hand drop back to her side before taking a step back and kneeling on a patch of grass, motioning and watching as she did the same.
He placed his hands on his knees, a meditation pose that Rey had copied from time to time, and is now doing again. They locked eyes before they began.
"Ben never died for nothing. Everything that he's done in the past, has led him here. His family loves him, his family forgives him. And it's time for him to do the same for himself. No one can make that decision for him, when it comes to his life."
The words he chose brought memories to her mind of her life on Jakku, and how she so desperately wanted to belong to someone, yet ultimately, took charge of her own life, and those decisions too, led her here.
She nodded, slow and sad, but still acknowledged this.
"Will he..." she began.
"He'll will be okay, always." Luke said, and watched as her head fell. He reached over and tugged her chin up, meeting her eyes again. "And so will you."
Sniffling again, Rey blinked.
She took a moment to think about the position they were in now, with Ben being where he belonged, wherever he chose. And her, in this place where she didn't belong, at least not at the moment.
"What's going to happen?" She asked, her voice distant.
Luke took another breath. "We are going to try and take you back. If you were to stay, there's no telling what would happen, or if you would even survive. We can only hope that you have enough force energy to take you back home, and finish your journey as it was meant to be."
"How will I know that it will be okay? That Ben will be okay? That you will be okay? Or that I'll make it?" Rey asked, beginning to sound urgent even through the tears that now began to spill as she whispered.
Re-adjusting their hands, Luke gazed into her eyes.
"Hope." Luke said.
With that, he closed his eyes softly, and Rey followed suit, her heart aching so much her body almost shook with every breath. The loss she felt was overwhelming, and the belonging she sought for so long was nowhere to be found.
But as she closed her eyes, she felt a hard press to her shoulders, and her face began to relax as her tears came to a stop, finding comfort and love from the presence of those behind her; Chirrut, Kai, Han, and Obi-Wan.
Their force cocooned her, protecting her with their strengths as they guided her mind softly, taking their time to comfort her and to show her love, to praise her and thank her. No words were spoken, no other tears were shed.
She let herself be led into the light beyond the gates of the force, and with hope at her side, she tried to find her way home.
( X )
"Is she okay?" Ben asked, standing at the side of his grandfather as the pair watched the storm wash away, and the grey begin to return to the skies.
Anakin softly smiled as he wrapped his arm around Ben's shoulder.
"She is now."
( X )
Ben Solo made his choice.
With the guidance of those around him, with the presence of his father in his heart and mind, with the comfort of his grandfather and the man he was named after, he had made his choice.
In the end, love always won.
( X )
The air in the room seemed to still as Rey came back to her sense, dizzy and out of sorts, but she had made it back.
The exhaustion of her force exertion made her sick, but it was not enough to distract her from Ben's body that still lay on top of the table in the cold, broken room of the bunker.
Her body felt frail and cold as it dawned on her just how close she had come to death herself, but the love and comfort she had felt on the way back, had been worth it knowing that it was exactly what Ben was getting.
In the end, hope was what helped them survive, and hope was what she needed with Ben.
Closing her eyes, Rey leaned her forehead against the back of his hand, hoping now that Ben knew how much she loved him, and how much he had meant to her life. Briefly, she wondered if that's what she would have chosen to say to him, had she got the chance to speak...
She just hoped he knew. However, the force allowed it, she continued to hope.
And in that instant, his hand twitched.
( X )
It had been nearly seven months since the day Kylo Ren died.
Media covered it almost more than the end of the actual war, and it was telling all in itself.
'THE MASKED PRINCE HAS FALLEN', 'SUPREME LEADER DEAD!' the headlines read.
Rey had learned to tune them out at this point.
As she walked down to the creek to refill a bucket with water, she took a moment to relive those events; How she'd crossed into the in-between world, how she had deceived the forced and tried to fit herself into its frozen world, when it wasn't her time.
She remembered how exhausted she had been, and how it took her nearly a month to even begin to feel the force again, having been absolutely depleted of it.
But it was worth it.
In the end, he was always worth it.
She'd give up the force in a heartbeat if it meant saving Ben, and she'd repeat every motion she had made if it meant anything related to Ben Solo's life.
With a soft smile, Rey filled the bucket with water and moved to stand, placing it on a nearby boulder as she looked across the green grass and colorful flowers that grew in the garden bed.
The thing the media missed, was that Kylo Ren died, yes. But Ben Solo lived.
He had come back to her, taking a chance and risking his own life just as she had done for him.
And again, their love conquered all and survived the worst, proving that love and hope intertwined created something worth living for.
Looking back at it all, Rey can't believe how far they had come since first meeting, and now, since he'd returned back to her from death.
In the events that had followed since then, Rey often gets quite dizzy thinking about.
The moment she had felt his hand twitch, and she had looked up to see him barely moving, but moving nonetheless, she had felt such relief that she had never known in her life.
She cried as she kissed him, and apologized over and over again as she bumped into his wound, all while crying tears that couldn't stop their pour.
All he could do was attempt a smile, still in pain and still extremely weak.
She ran to find Leia, who was already outside the door, with wide, hopeful eyes as she looked beyond Rey to see Ben awake. Leia immediately ordered a med team to the room, a team that she trusted to remain quiet.
As Ben was tended to, Leia was already working on the girl's behalf.
"Rey, it isn't safe... He still has a lot of enemies out there..."
She was already nodding to Leia as she intently watched Ben getting patched up.
A short while later, they had agreed that it'd be best to keep Ben's status quiet, at least for now, and that included Rey's friends.
It was true; The galaxy did not know Ben Solo, in fact, they had only known of what he could have been, and what he turned into, without knowing the changes he had made or the great details of his part in taking down the First Order.
Many people throughout the stars only saw him as Kylo Ren, which Rey understood of course, but she wouldn't accept it.
And so, in hopes of keeping Ben safe, especially while he was so weak, Leia held a mourning period throughout the base to allow time to herself, which was truly her time to ensure that Ben was tended to and recovering.
It took a long time though, as his wounds were deadly, and their medical team had to take great measures in making sure he recovered properly.
During this mourning period, they held a small funeral, where Leia and Rey worked together to create a concealed send-off by burning a cloth-wrapped body of a previous stormtrooper, carefully placed on top of rafts, and lit during the night.
As this was happening, Chewie and Flora, who were the only ones that had to be filled in at this point, escorted Ben to his old home on Arrowmada, the hut that housed both him and Rey for a short while before going to Naboo.
It was a worrisome trip, with Ben being so fragile and Rey unable to leave until two days later, but Rey and Leia didn't trust Ben with anybody else but Chewie and Flora, and Maz too when it came to additional air support once they crossed orbit lines to their destination.
In the end, Rey did in fact feel bad about lying to the rest of her friends, and she was sure that one day she would tell them all the truth, it had been decided.
But right now, no one would be able to truly understand, and that was okay.
As long as Rey and Ben had each other, it would always be okay.
Smiling, Rey looked up into the empty blue sky, basking in the sun before she grabbed her water and headed back to the hut, where she softly felt Ben begin to reach out.
He had just barely begun to start testing his force abilities out, having been unable of doing so for months now, but his force will and energy were starting to make appearances here and there, and it thrilled Rey to see his progress.
'Her husband's progress.'
She tested the word on her lips, something she often did at quiet times like these. The word itself brought an instant smile to her face as she remembered those events, too.
Only four months here, when he had asked.
He was in bed, the place he was contained to for a long while, watching Rey as she rolled around on the end of the bed with one of his old textbooks in hand.
He had been studying her for a long while, blinking every so often as his head would involuntarily tilt to the side, a sure hint to Rey that he was trying to use the force and peer into her mind.
She smirked, her eyes still on the book. "Quit it, Solo. You'll exhaust yourself just from trying."
Ben, a man of very few words, and a strong determination when it came to something he wanted, spoke to her in a soft, but demanding tone. "Marry me."
Those two words made Rey's mind stumble over itself, as her smile faded and her eyes blinked a few times, trying to think if she had heard him clearly.
He nudged her hip with the tip of his toe, and Rey gulped as she closed the book in her hands.
She had known of course that both her and Ben were going to be with one another for the rest of their lives, but to be asked, to be bound, had never occurred to her.
She just truly never thought that anyone would want that with her, to want to take her and have her as their family, as their wife.
She met his eyes with tears stinging her own, and leapt up to climb into his lap, her mouth meeting his in a desperate kiss to answer for her, knowing that her own voice wouldn't work at a time like this.
Ben grunted into the kiss as pain flared across his healing wounds, but the arms that wrapped around her refused to let her go.
These days, it's one of her favorite memories, aside from the day that they had vowed themselves to one another.
Only two people attended; Leia, who struggled on her cane as her other hand constantly wiped away tears that shed as she watched her son marry his mate, and Maz, who wed the pair in the fields on Arrowmada.
To Rey, it was perfect, in their own little world as they had always lived, and promising to be each other's light through the darkness.
With a sigh, Rey approached the clearing the led back to the hut, coming within range of Ben's force signature that was able to get out a small message to her.
'Come home.'
Again, Rey smiled with a soft sigh.
In the end of it all, even in their old paradise, Rey still felt a darkness lingering out there in the galaxy, a darkness that sometimes whispered her name, or tried to creep across her mind before she shut it out.
It wasn't the time to worry about that though.
The true war was over, and the Resistance won. Her friends were safe, and she was married to her mate with the force on their side and their force family watching over them.
All was okay in the galaxy, and Rey knew this.
The other battles could wait another day, so with hope and love guiding her, Rey went home to Ben.
( X )
Author's Notes:
I cannot begin to thank every single person enough that followed this story, that sent me their thoughts and reviews, and even those that silently kept up with this story.
'Steady On' has been the best outlet for me over the past year, and this story was something that I felt so connected to, and to see so many people connect with it still brings tears to my eyes every single time.
I had the ending planned out before I ever had anything else in mind. Rey and Ben/Kylo's story always rang truth of love, hope and redemption, and I hope that's what I delivered.
I never believed that Rey was perfect, nor was she completely good. I think she was imperfect, and because of her flaws, that's what made her so interesting.
Ben and Rey together are not always perfect, but they bring out such goodness within each other, and they loved one another with their flaws and all.
I do have ideas for a sequel, if I ever do follow through with that, I will post an additional chapter on here just letting you all know that it's up.
With that said, thank you all so much for your love. To this day, I go back through those pages of reviews and just read them over and over again, and they lift me up as a person and as a writer, and I just can never ever come to a point where I ever thank you all enough.
I love you all.
I thank you all.
May the force be with you guys.
P.S. - Follow me on Tumblr VirtualReylo for more updates. With the release of TROS, I know a lot of people are panicking and heartbroken, but anything is possible in the world of Star Wars, and I stand by this more and more every day.
I love you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Onto my next story! TROS related.