-I woke up at the same time again today.
I checked my temperature. I checked my five senses. I said my name out loud, so I could understand it objectively.
Mash Kyrielight.
That was the name they gave me, a human being.
"Hello. Nice to meet you, Summon Experiment No. 2. Oh… No, that won't do. Starting today, I should call you by your proper name. Don't worry, I've stopped the recorders. Hello Mash Kyrielight. I'm Romani Archaman," The man said after he had entered my room. "From now on, I'll be your primary physician. Oh, is it all right if I take a seat here?"
Since that was unprecedented, my words and actions were delayed.
No doctor has ever entered this room before.
The reasoning was that it was sufficient to speak through the glass.
"Oh, is that right? To be able to convey your feelings even through glass… Chaldea is very advanced, indeed. But I'm still quite an amateur. I can't have a proper conversation unless I talk to people directly like this," The man spoke with a small smile. "So please don't hesitate to tell me what you think or feel. I want you to tell me all kinds of things. Communication is the best way to achieve mutual understanding. You can acquire far more information and feel someone else's warmth, right?"
"I see," I nodded. Indeed, more information can be acquired this way than through glass. The manner in which someone speaks. Their gaze. Temperature. Scent. Mannerisms. All things I have never experienced before.
If such interactions are deemed human-like… for the first time, I responded in a human-like fashion by…
...agreeing to his proposal. "Hello, and nice to meet you, Doctor Romani."
"Oh, about that. I don't like the name Romani, see. And the name Archaman is a bit pretentious. I'd like to call me Roman. Doctor Roman. Sounds good, huh?"
I know the word 'Roman' may stem from 'Romanticism.'
It means to observe the world not by reason or by logic, but to observe it spiritually, subjectively.
The definition of the word changes from person to person. Even so, if I had to explain it-
It is the philosophy of imagining a good future.' The sense of fulfillment when living one's own life.
Unlike my allotted period of activation, which is a detailed and efficient 'schedule.'
Perhaps the hopeful observation that 'tomorrow holds many possibilities' is what the word is trying to express.
"Oh my. That's quite a serious opinion you've got there. You sound like a senpai character from a Japanese comic. Oh… but that should be okay. You've been in Chaldea a lot longer than I have, so that would make you the Senpai," Doctor Roman sighed, creating a pause in his speech. "It's rather pathetic, actually. Although I am the head of the medical department, for the longest time, I didn't even know this section existed. I am truly sorry."
Doctor Roman apologized to me for no reason. What a mysterious person. Also, he was wrong.
The Japenese terms 'Senpai' and 'Kouhai' are similar to that of a teacher and student. However, I have yet to learn a single thing from the Doctor.
Since my knowledge was input from Sheba, that would make Sheba my Senpai terms of knowledge. And so, when it comes to knowledge and information within Chaldea, I am the Kouhai.
…Aside from that, though, it may be impossible, if I had a Senpai in life…
It would be someone inherently human and of average status. Not the best, but a normal person who strives to do their best. I think it would be one who doesn't hurt others and never gives up an upright human being. After all, that's the kind of person I was modeled after when given life.
"I see. You're right, not many people like that exist here in Chaldea. The staff here is made up of freaky geniuses. There isn't anything normal or average about them. Well, good and bad, normal or not, I guess all that makes up what it means to be human. I'm sure one day, you'll find a Senpai that you can truly rely on."
… The Doctor's words left a really strong impression on me. A Senpai that I could truly rely on…
To imagine such a future sure made my eyes flicker with hope… A future filled with 'romance.'
"All right, then. Once again, nice to meet you, Mash. Let's try to make this a lasting relationship."
"Sure," I answered.
I'm a designer baby created for experimental purposes. Therefore, my lifespan is predetermined. I have been in operation for more than 10 years. If my surgery succeeds, I can live for a few more years.
...Oh, I am very happy.
After all, I get to have self-awareness for that much longer.
Xxx
June 12
Andy's eyes flickered open her head, resting on Mash's bedside.
She could easily hear her steady breathing as she slept.
"I'm sorry…" Andy whispered to the unconscious shielder. "I've failed you…"
"Why do you say that, Andy?" Roman asked from behind her as she heard the door to the room close the man's steps heavy. "You got her here as fast as possible, and now her condition is stabilized she should wake up in the next twenty-four hours," the good doctor told her.
Andy carefully sat up so as not to disturb Mash. "I saw one of her memories." She stated outright, not really in the mood for beating around the bush. "Your first actual meeting with her. She wanted...she wanted a senpai. Who would…" She took a shuddery breath. "A good person. She wanted a good, reliable Senpai, and I've failed her."
"And you aren't that? To Mash, the roles of Senpai and Kouhai are that of teacher and student. The one she wanted as one that could teach her how to be human, and you've fulfilled that role excellently. Before you, Mash was closer to being a robot than a person despite me and Leodnardo's best efforts. Thanks to you, she smiles genuinely, laughs genuinely, and overall much more expressive emotionally and even snarky at times, and that is all thanks to you. Not even Ophelia and Hinako were able to do that, and I would have considered them Mash's only friends in all of Chaldea before our mission before you. So don't say that you're a failure cause you aren't, and if you do I will get Scathach here to come and beat you up… cause I'm too weak to do that myself, for if I punched you, I would break my hand," He finished by taking a sip of his coffee.
"I'd deserve it," Andy said morosely. "I...I stole her real Senpai away from her. The one who was supposed to help her grow as a person. I'm...I'm not even supposed to be here. I know that I've done okay so far, but there was someone else who would have done amazingly if they'd have been the one to be thrown out of the room that day. I'm just...I'm just a placeholder, until he wakes up."
"Oh, shut up, Andy," Roman said as he put down his cup and crossed his arms. "So what if you 'replaced' someone else. That doesn't matter the past is the past, and you can't change that. You might now have been 'the chosen one' as you seem to imply, but so what? You rose to the occasion and faced every challenge head-on where many would probably have long since given up. So what if you weren't supposed to be here, that doesn't matter, what matters is that you are, and you've done great," The man was actually glaring at her now.
Andy took another shuddering breath in an attempt to calm herself. "Was this...was this inevitable, or did I somehow speed it up?" She asked.
"Like with any disease, symptoms of it will start to show up at some point down the line. Without the Dress of Heaven, she will last until the start of the New Year, but thankfully thanks to your kidnapping by Uzhi-Gozen, we don't have to worry about that, cause remember what Raikou handed over?" He asked, and Andy's eyes widened since she did. "There is no shadow of a pillar inside of it, and it hasn't been tainted by an outside source like Angry Mainyu or Shuten's booze. That was still a stupid thing to do, you know."
"Past is the past." Andy echoed at him, as hope-filled her. "And it proved that we can use fragments to grant wishes. So with what you're saying, does that mean we can…?" She couldn't even say it, such as the prospect.
"Da Vinci handed it over to Paracelsus and Irisviel, and they have been working all night," He said with a grin.
"That we have," Came the voice of Irisviel said as she entered the room. "Only good for two uses, but right now two is all we need, for now, one for Miss Kyrielight here, and one for Mr. Fujimaru." Her body clad in the Dress of Heaven.
"Do it now, or as soon as possible, whatever, just please do it," Andy asked/pleaded, the combination of euphoria over finally doing this and the relief of knowing that she did something good removing her ability to do anything other than beg.
"I will fix her to the best of my abilities Andy, do not worry just watch," She said as she began to chant an Aria in German that sounded more like it was a song than anything else as a magical circle formed over Mash's chest that glowed an almost holy light that shone for a minute until she finished.
"You're a cruel man Marisburry Animusphere," Irisviel stated as her body swayed a bit before righting herself up.
"Is...is that it?" Andy asked. "You saved her?"
"To the best of my abilities with this rather half-assed Dress of Heaven, and her body was more damaged than I had realized spiritually as well, but right now she will be able to live until her forties for the moment, so plenty of time, time to extend to full lifespan as I only managed to double her lifespan," Irisviel informed the two.
"That, that is good enough for me," Roman said, looking like he was on the verge of crying.
Andy, meanwhile, had no compunctions and had been started crying (in relief and joy) around the point Irisviel said 'forties.' She didn't even try to speak, knowing it would come out a blubbering mess, and instead gave the homunculus a hug, her gratitude clear.
Irisviel returned, wrapping her arms around Andy, patting her on her back. "There, there now how about you stay with Mash, she should wake up soon. In the meantime, me and Dr. Archaman will go and fix Mr. Fujimaru so that you will have another Master to work with."
Andy nodded, still not trusting her words to come out as anything close to coherent, waving them along, not waiting for them to leave before sitting down in the chair next to Mash's bed and working on getting her emotions back under control so that Mash didn't wake up to her blubbering and think something was wrong.
In about 15 minutes, she had done so. She still obviously looked like she'd been crying, but the face splitting grin on her face as she patiently-impatiently waited for Mash to wake up counteracted it. As she waited, she absentmindedly took out her knitting needles and started going to work. About 45 minutes later, it was starting to look like a Fou plushie, the type that when Fou saw them he would attack them and they'd be gone in a matter of minutes, so she'd gotten into the habit of making them when she was bored and needed something to do with her hands.
And as she was about to finish it, a small groan came from Mash as her body moved slightly and soon after her eyes fluttered open. "Senpai," She groaned out as her eyes landed on Andy, a small smile on her face. "Good morning, have you've been crying?"
"Maybe, but that's not important right now," Andy said, a sly grin on her face as a thought came to her. "How are you feeling, Kouhai?" She asked, waiting to act on said thought.
"I, I… I'm actually feeling really good. Nothing is actually hurting right now, and it feels like I've slept like for a year and regained all of my energy," She answered with a smile as she sat up on her bed.
Andy's grin grew at hearing that. "That's wonderful, Kouhai. Actually, on that note, I have some news for you, so which do you want first, the good or the not-really-all-that-bad news?" She asked, still grinning.
"I take both Senpai, and hello there, Fou, where have you've been?" She asked as the small critter jumped onto her lap. "I take the good one first, Senpai," She said with a slight grin.
"Good news is, the Dress of Heaven got made," Andy said, even more, glee filling her as she saw the meaning of that register in Mash's face. "And she used it about an hour ago. Your built-in lifespan is basically to your forties now. So really, there isn't a time limit now."
Mash didn't say anything, she didn't respond as tears flowed from her eyes, as she began to cry tears of happiness into Andy's shoulder.
Andy hugged her, only crying a little (mostly because she'd already cried herself out earlier) but no less happy for it as she just held her kouhai close.
Though the moment was slightly ruined as a loud rumbling emanated from Mash's stomach region.
"You've been out for a while, you must be starving." Andy chuckled a bit. "Do you feel up to walking to the Dining Hall, or do you want someone to bring something here?" She asked.
"I would like to walk. We do no need to tell everyone the good news, don't we?" She asked. "But could you step outside first Senpai, I need to change out of this gown first," Mash responded with a small blush on her face.
"Yes, right, sorry," Andy said, blushing a bit herself as she quickly got out to give Mash her privacy.
Fou following her outside.
Xxx
"So, Senpai? I forgot to ask why wasn't the Doctor or Irisviel with you in the room?" Mash asked, now clad in her casual clothes as they walked towards the Dining Hall Fou on her shoulder.
"Oh, right," Andy said as she remembered. "The Dress they made this time had enough 'juice' for two uses, so they went to fix up one of the Master Candidates, to help out our manpower and stuff."
"Ah, that's good now Senpai, won't have to work as hard and relax a bit more, now there are more like there should have been from the beginning," She said.
"Glad to know that I will be of use," said a young adult voice that came from in front of them. They had been so absorbed in their conversation that they hadn't noticed Fujimaru approaching them flanked by both Roman and Da Vinci as. "But, I'm just thankful for not being Captain America'd anymore."
It took Andy a moment to place Ritsuka's face in her memories, mostly through context clues, before she smiled. "Ritsuka! Good to see you off, ice." She said, before realizing Ritsuka probably had no idea who she was. "I believe some introductions are in order. I'm Andy Murphy, previously the sole Master of Chaldea, and now simply the most experience." She said with a short theatrical bow.
"Nice to meet you, Andy," He responded with his own exaggerated bow. "So I guess you're my Senpai now? But I have to ask, did we meet before I got blown to hell? Cause you feel familiar to me?" He asked with a 'detective-like pose.'
"Oh, right, you might remember me like this," Andy said, before flipping the switch back to male, not giving a single shit about the fact he was still wearing the version of the mystic code with a skirt, since it resized to fit. "And, more importantly, the one you should really be calling 'Senpai' is right here." He said, motioning grandly towards Mash, who just walked behind him in embarrassment.
Ritsuka just sputtered in shock, "Pfft, how did you do that? Do you have some kind of shapeshifting Stand?... Wait, you were the guy I meet in the shower, right? You've certainly lost weight." Ritsuka stated as he seemed to recall their first meeting.
"My boy, there is a lot we need to catch you up on, on," Andy said with a goodhearted chuckle. "...Wait, what's this about Stands?"
"I was just wondering if you were a Stand user like myself," He responded.
"Wait, you're a Stand user?" Roman and Da Vinci asked at the same time. "That wasn't in your file."
"... Guess I forgot to mention that, didn't I, but it's like your dick; you just don't show it to other people casually."
"That is the worst comparison I've ever heard," Roman said with a look of disgust on his face.
"I find it appropriate," Da Vinci responded.
"Wait, so what is it? Your stand?" Andy asked, curiosity overwhelming his normal respect for others' privacy.
"Can we save it for later? I hunger, so I don't even have the energy to manifest Crush 40's abilities," He responded as he clutched his stomach hunger apparent on Ritsuka's face. "But you've got magecraft, right? That has to be more impressive than my Stand since I've got zero talent in that area despite having the average amount of Magic Circuits. But like I said, can we eat so that I can catch up?" He asked.
"Dining Hall's this way," Andy said, pointing to the right of the three-way junction they'd met up at. "We were on our way there just now anyway."
Xxx
After they had entered the Dining Hall. Roman had made a quick announcement about Mash's and Ritsuka's recovery, which had been followed by Nero yelling feast, and the chaos had been unleashed.
"Well, they are certainly lively, but I am kind of used to being around eccentric people," Ritsuka said as he ate his food with a happy smile on his face. "Damn, this is really good, and damn you've been through a lot, Andy, I almost want to apologize for not being there to help out," Ritsuka apologized after having gotten a very tl;dr version of what had happened.
"Eh, don't worry about it too much. It's not your fault Lev was a bastard double agent." Andy said. "Though, an explanation on that Stand of yours could be pretty neat."
"Still feel bad, cause then you got thrown out by the Director," He quickly made a cross-motion. "I kinda wanted to leave and see if you were okay, cause you definitely suffered from first-time simulation syndrome as me and the others liked to call it. But I didn't want to get yelled at," He said with an embarrassed tone of voice.
"Again, don't feel bad. If I hadn't gotten thrown out, then none of us would be here right now," Andy said.
"Too true, now as for my Stand, Crush 40 is an amour-type stand with abilities based in the element of darkness. Meaning that I can move in and out of peoples' shadows, and even redirect attacks through shadows, meaning as long as I am wearing Crush 40, I can't be hurt as I am a shadow myself. Though it only works as long as I am in a shadow myself, and of course, I get some increased durability and strength, but not Crazy Diamond or Star Platinum level. And the attack redirection requires action on my part and is not automatic," He told them.
"Excuse me, how exactly do you know what 'Crazy Diamond' and 'Star Platinum' are?" Andy asked, a certain hope coming forth unexpectedly.
"I got the shotgun speech from the both of them, then I dated Shizuka for a bit," he answered. "Wait, how do you know them?"
"Zelretch," Andy said automatically, hopes dashed. He really needed to stop getting his hopes up about impossible things like 'maybe he's another slider.' "I actually knew more about the Joestar family than the Holy Grail War before he drop-kicked me into Chaldea."
"Right, almost forgot that you're a freaking planeswalker," He said. "That is still freaky, but not the weirdest thing I've experienced or heard. Stands can get weird." He quickly added.
"Oh yeah, I know how weird stands can get, don't worry," Andy said, remembering the actual Joestar he'd met, and then registered the rest of Ritsuka's earlier statements. "Wait, that means Jotaro's still alive, right? And Joylene?"
"Was wondering that too," Roman said. "We have some records of the Joestars and their exploits, but we don't know what happened to the family after the events that occurred at Green Dolphin Street Prison."
"Yeah, he and Jolyne are still alive, they have no idea what did the gay ass priest in, but they are alive Jolyne managed to turn her entire body into string while Jotaro tried to us the World as much as possible to avoid getting hurt, but he is confined to a wheelchair now. Still scary as balls," He answered with fear in his eyes.
"That is good to hear, they are truly modern-day heroes," Roman responded.
"That is certainly nice to hear," Mash added her own comment.
"Yeah." Andy concurred, before remembering the thing he'd been meaning to ask Da Vinci way back before the whole Journey to the West mess a month ago. "Oh, but that reminds me, Leo, what was that thing? It's been more than long enough now, right?"
"Right the thing I wanted to give and wanted I wanted to tell you," She said as she pulled out a gun and placed it on the table. "This is an Evoker. Now Andy, what do you know of Shadows and Personas?"
"I take you aren't talking about the Jung version?" Roman asked.
"Of course, why wouldn't Persona's exist?" Andy asked himself. "Yeah, I know about Personas and Shadows. So what, I fight my shadow self with this 'Evoker' thing?" He said, giddiness returning at the idea of having anything even remotely like a stand. Personas were still pretty neat too.
"So, you do know about them," Da Vinci said.
"I'm sorry, but what are we talking about here?" Roman and Ritsuka asked at the same time.
"Everyone has a Shadow, the true self. It's all the stuff you don't like or don't want to acknowledge about yourself. If you deny it, it'll turn into a monster perverted from those same traits, and if you beat that up and then accept it or accept it right away, you get a cool Stand-like thing you can summon and use to fight with." Andy explained to the extent he understood it. "Though I don't know how the Evoker ties into it."
"So it is Jung Psychology, but it is a lot more literal than I thought," Roman said.
"Yes, and what Andy said is true a Persona is something very Stand-like, but is not one. There are many differences they don't have exotic powers like some Stands can have theirs is more JRPG in nature with a spell system of their own. And they have a greater connection with the Human Order or the Collective Unconsciousness as some call it or even the Metaverse," Da Vinci explained.
"Okay, but how do you know all of this, Da Vinci?" Roman asked.
"I hacked the Kirijo's groups system as they are foremost experts about Shadows and Personas, and I did so after everyone forgot what happened after Christmas of 2016, everyone except for probably due to my nature as a Servant," She answered.
"Da Vinci, you shouldn't hack other organizations' servers," Roman lamented.
"No, no, she should if it leads to stuff like this." Andy rebutted. "So, wait, to reiterate, what's the gun for?"
"Yes, I am curious about that as well, what does Senpai need the gun for?" Mash asked, eyeing the thing wearily.
"It's a tool that allows one to manifest a Persona even within the real world," She answered.
"Da Vinci is correct about that, but to use one must accept Death fully and utterly," Gil said as he walked up to their table.
"Que?" Andy asked, before connecting the dots and glaring at the little blond. "You knew the whole time, you little shit."
"I did, but it wasn't my place to tell then I realized that you were a Fool thanks to the words spoken by older-self in 1994," He answered.
"And I realized around the same time too, though I should have seen it earlier that you had the potential for awakening to the power of Persona. Cause your little dream escapades is not how the bond works at all. You should only be able to view memories and not walk around aware in the world inside their hearts. Should have been so obvious after Kiyohime, you stole her twisted desires and caused a change of heart like the Phantom Thieves did," Da Vinci said.
"Phantom Thieves?" Ritsuka asked before his eyes widened. "I remember when they were running around Tokyo me, and the others were meant to go see if they were Stand users after Christmas, but after that, they stopped being active and we couldn't find them. So they were Persona users instead?"
"Correct, at least according to the Kirijo Group and their data."
"That is correct. They were led by the Trickster, who stopped a being formed from the distorted desires of the masses to remove the ability to think for ones-self, but right now, they are not relevant to our conversation," Gil said.
"Yeah, back on topic, what do you mean 'accept death'?" Andy asked, a bit hung up over that part.
"That gun contains a Plume of Dusk, a piece of death itself. So, what you need to do is put the barrel to your head and pull the trigger," Gil said with a smile.
"Oh, is that all?" Andy said, picking up the gun and putting it to his temple. "Like this, right?" He still didn't pull the trigger, though. He wasn't stupid.
"Don't worry, you won't actually die, but the thing is going to make you think you are," Da Vinci said. "Under normal circumstances it should forcibly manifest your Persona, but as we all know by you, don't do things the normal way. So I am actually not sure what will happen."
"Senpai, you don't have to do it if you don't want to," Mash said.
"No, it's fine," Andy said, despite the bead of sweat rolling down his face. "We all know how great I am at decisions like this, right?" He said with a laugh, before pulling the trigger.
Andy heard the sound of glass being broken, and his head being pushed to the side.
And he wasn't in Chaldea's Dining Hall anymore, but he was standing in a Gazebo that was surrounded by a sea of fire.
"Sup, welcome to the Collective Unconsciousness, don't mind the fire cause humanity is kinda burning right now," said a black-haired man in a well kept red and black suit. "And this time, it ain't my fault."
"So, who are you?" Andy asked, confused. He'd been expecting to have to fight himself or whatever, not...this.
"Ah, where are my manners? Hello, Andy, my name is Nyarlathotep, the crawling chaos. I am the Shadow of Humanity and also your Shadow by technicality," he answered, and Andy felt the danger level rise immensely.
"Oh," Andy said, about twenty octaves higher than normal, before clearing his throat. "So, where does that put us, then? Do I need to accept you, or are you just gonna straight up try to kill me, or something else?"
"No, no, no not at all. While this might be a bit out of character for me I'm actually here to help you cause both me and Philemon are in an agreement that this situation sucks and that the little King of Mages needs to be taken down a peg. Cause if something ends humanity it has to be through my machinations no else. And Mister Hope got hit harder than this than me, so I have to help you get your Persona awakened as much as it displeases me, Mr. Survivor."
"Okay," Andy said, committing that explanation to memory to ask someone else about later, deciding to not push the genocidal-but-willing-to-help Elder Deity. "How do we do that, Sir?"
"My aren't we being Mr. Polite, but as much as I would like to mentally destroy you and psychologically tear you apart, that is 'your' job. Going to have to pull an Izanami and manifest your personal Shadow. Now Chao," He said with as he snapped his fingers and vanished, and a second later a tower of red and black goo exploded out of the ground, and as it collapsed, Andy saw himself.
Or rather, saw his old body now with striking yellow eyes.
"Huh." Andy said, nonplussed as he looked 'himself' over. There wasn't anything in particular weird about his Shadow beyond the eyes at first glance. The only notable thing to Andy' was that it was wearing his favorite old hoodie with Superman's insignia on the front, hands hidden in the hoodie's pocket. "So that's what I looked like. Neat."
His Shadow scoffed. "'Neat.' Is that really all you have to say?" Andy noted there was something shiny and metallic in his Shadow's mouth.
Andy shrugged. "Sure, I guess. It's not really like there's much I've been denying about myself. Is that why you look like my original body? Because I rejected it or whatever?"
The Shadow laughed. "Even now, when faced with the truth, you can't see it?" He put a hand to his chest, and gave Andy a manic look.
"I am a Shadow, the True Self." The two said in synch, Andy having been expecting that.
"Yeah, yeah, I know all that already," Andy said. "Listen, I've already accepted who I am. We don't need to go through this whole song and dance, y' know?" He asked, holding out his open hand towards the Shadow.
The Shadow looked down at the proffered hand, and slowly reached out as if to grab it, before smacking it away at the last minute. "Ha! Accepted me? As if! I am the True Self! I am Andrew! You should be asking for my acceptance!" The Shadow of Andrew said.
"What?" Andy asked, looking between his hand and his Shadow in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"You really don't get it, do you?" Andrew asked, putting a hand to his face and shaking his head. Andy could now see its hands were discolored and wet with...something. The weird fire surrounding them muted all the colors. "You've always been slow, but this is a new height of stupidity!"
"Shut up with the nonsense and get to the point." Andy insisted.
Andrew tilted his head and grinned a vicious smile, sadistic pleasure written all over his face. He licked his lips with a literally silver tongue before continuing. 'Liar,' Andy's brain helpfully provided. "Oh, so now you want to stop beating around the bush, now that it's convenient for you? Alright, fine, here you go: you're a, as you put it, a placeholder. Now that the actual hero is here, he'll be able to save everyone."
"Yeah, I know that dumbass," Andy said. "Except, I'm still the one who got us here!"
"And how did you do that again…?" Andrew asked. "Oh right, by killing and torturing your fellow man, before giving up your humanity entirely." He scoffed. "Some hero you are, with all this blood on your hands." He said, waving the literal version of this.
"What are you even on about!?" Andy yelled. "I know I'm not the goddamn hero!"
"But I am."
"...What?"
"You aren't the Hero. I am." Andrew said simply, a smug look on his face, pointing at the insignia on his chest. "You're scared out of your mind at every second of every day, waiting for death to come and take you. Me? I'm the one who's been pushing us forward, enjoying every moment." He shook his head. "You've been so scared that you've grabbed everything you could in the hopes it would save you someday… though it's not like that's anything new for you. A scared, useless thief."
"I'm not useless." Andy insisted. "I'm still the one who got us here!" He repeated.
"Oh yes, and how did you do that again?" Andrew asked rhetorically in a mockingly exaggerated thinking pose, every motion spreading the blood on his hands over himself. "Oh, right, by freezing up every time it mattered. How fucking brain dead do you have to be to just watch over and over and over and over and over again as the people around you die or worse?"
"Shut up."
"No, I don't think I will," Andrew said, smugly. "You've ignored the Truth for long enough. You blew it, over and over again, and then lied about it, just like you lie about everything. You've lied to your precious little Servants about so much. About how much you love being in control of them, having power over other people. About how you've deluded yourself into acting like you care about your little messed up 'family', and isn't that just a mess of lies, acting like a bunch of ghosts are your family. It's a wonder you're still sane- oh wait, that's a lie too!"
"Shut up!"
"You've lied to your pink plaything that what you feel is love, not the simple lust you feel when you look at him. What have you really done other than sex? Can that even be called love when you communicate almost exclusively in carnal passion?"
"Stop it!"
"Or what about that poor girl, Mash, that you've strung along this whole time? Lying to her that you're a good person, worthy of her respect, of her admiration? She's only a crutch, a lifeline, and without her, you'd have to actually try, and we both know how that would end up, don't we? You should just tell her the truth. If you did, maybe she'd end up just like Saph-"
Andrew was cut off by Andy, punching him in the face. "SHUT UP!"
Andrew cackled madly, not even moving from its spot. "Ooh, and there's the anger and violence you've lied about, too! I haven't even gotten to the Big One yet!"
"Why won't you just stop! talking!?"
"Why don't you just stop lying?" Andrew asked as he shoved Andy back away from him, continuing before Andy could respond, apparently deciding to go for the killing blow. "Why don't you just tell them about how you've lied to them, to all of them, on how much you know? On where you got that knowledge from?"
"That-that's for their own sake!"
"Is it? Is it really? Or is it just, so you don't have to confront the truth- that you knew exactly what you were getting into this whole time? That you chose this. That you'd been begging for something new, for something different, to come in and pull you away from home, for the chance to go on some grand adventure? How you'd always wanted to save the world, just to say you did it? How you'd always been nothing more than a supporting character in your own life at best, and you wanted more?"
"No!" Andy insisted, gripping his head in pain.
"How you wanted to be the hero?"
"No…" Andy said, sinking to his knees.
"Of course, things never really go according to plan. After all, why not ask them?" Andrew asked, and at his words, Andy screamed as he was bombarded with the memories of everything. Every time one of his Servants died, every time he was injured, every time he made a mistake, every time he saw someone die, every time he couldn't do anything, his face burning into his memory.
"Let me show you why fighting against me is futile."
"Why...why are you doing this?" Andy asked hoarsely as Andrew loomed over him.
"Because I'm a boy playing hero," Andrew said with a shrug, silver tongue-twisting in his mouth. "Because I'm a liar. Because I'm a murderer. Because I'm a horrible person. Because I'm you."
"YOU'RE NOT ME!" Andy screamed at Andrew, and a moment later realized his mistake as the Shadow cackled and started glowing. "Shit."
"Argh, I can feel it swelling up inside of me, the power it feels so good, ahhhh," Andy watched as his Shadow exploded and reformed into a monstrous being. A massive black canine-like creature that on top of it fused to the neck was a humanoid being that had no apparent features, it was like looking into the void itself, though both of them were covered in red tattoos that looked like a dead language. "I am not you, I am me, I am the Shadow the true self!" The wolf howled. It still had a silver tongue, because of course, it did.
"Goddammit," Andy said as he quickly jumped back and switched into demon mode midair, able to focus now that the Shadow wasn't wearing his face. "So what are you even supposed to be shaped like now, huh? My repressed urge to fuck Cu Chulainn?"
"Well at least you can admit that. Ziodyne!" It shouted as a blast of lightning was fired from the Shadow's mouth.
Andy dodged, crackling with lightning himself to speed up his movements, before opening fire with some ice runestones, in the hopes of freezing it in place. Due to all the forced-self reflection occurring, he was able to recognize that this was his go-to tactic in a fight, especially since it dodged. "Is that why I have lightning powers? Because you've been sitting around in my soul? Maybe I'll name you Zeus once this is all over!" He yelled, hiding behind the snark like always.
"That's not everything I've got. Eigaon!" It shouted firing a beam of concentrated darkness, that was thankfully avoided. "And yet you hide again behind a mask of snark and sarcasm are you so afraid? Then why do you continue to fight, continue to live? Just lay down and die like the bitch you are. The real hero is here, there is not a need for a Dark Messiah that would just end up hurting everybody. Heat Riser!" It said, and the body glowed as it got even faster as the two chased each other across the now much larger Gazebo.
"Fuck," Andy said as he began strafing, switching to fire runestones in the hopes of actually hitting the damn thing. "I'm still the one who got us here, I'm still the one who fixed 5 of the 7 Grand Singularities! Me! And the Servants under my command, who I am friends with you piece of shit!" He started yelling towards the end as the Shadow launched another Eigaon that he had to leap over to dodge and keep his momentum.
"Friends? You actually believe that? That they are your friends, how can you know that? How can you be so sure that they just aren't using you to accomplish their mission? They are Servants, Heroic Spirits. Why would they want to follow the orders, and be friends with a human with an inflated sense of self-importance who made a deal to be here because he couldn't handle being a nobody!" The Shadow shouted in response to Andy's declaration. "Concentrate." The Shadow glowed with a dark color like it was preparing for something.
"Fine! Fine then, then I'll just tell them!" Andy yelled as he redoubled his bombardment and kept moving at high speed, aiming to get behind the shadow. "I'll tell them everything! It's like you said, the real hero is here now, so even if they kill me or reject me or whatever! He'll still be there to pick up the pieces!" Despite his words, the image of Mash's face of disappointment and disgust at hearing the truth flashed in front of his eyes, and made him falter for just a second.
"Got you, Ziodyne!" This time however the attack came even faster and stronger than before slamming directly into Andy's body sending him flying straight into one of the Gazebos pillars. "And there it is, at least you can admit that you're an unimportant nobody, but how is that new body treating you? Why even go for it when it is still just as useless as the old one, what good has switching out the shell done for you? Just putting yourself in more danger, making poor Mashy Mash cry her heart out over her dear 'Senpai' getting hurt over and over again for stupid reasons. You're a terrible person. Only a monster would do that to another person. Oh wait, Mash isn't human she is just a robot, a doll meant to be dressed up."
"She's more human than you are, you perverted mess of neuroses!" Andy screamed as he struggled to his feet. If anyone knew how to push his buttons, of course, it would be his own Shadow. "You know what? Thank you, Shadow-me, you just made me fucking remember, you aren't fully me, you're my worst shit driven to the fucking extreme. And you know how I know that?" Andy activated the M.E.S.S., the Philosopher's Stone in his chest glowing with a rainbow of energy as he set up his arms like the barrel of a cannon to guide the blast.
"I WOULD NEVER INSULT MY KOUHAI!" He yelled as all of the stored Magical Energy was released as a massive rainbow-colored beam bigger than Andy's own body as it tore through the space between them.
"OH SHIT!" The Shadow shouted as the blast consumed it, and as it finally let up after seemingly an eternity had passed the monstrous Shadow was gone, and laying on the ground was his old body. "Fuck, why, why do I keep losing, I just, we just wanted to be someone special." His shadow cried out as it laid flat.
"I know." Andy said as he kneeled down next to his Shadow, having swapped back to human shape automatically after using the M.E.S.S. "I know we did. But...we are special. Look how far we've come. We probably aren't the hero, but y'know what?" He smiled tiredly at his Shadow. "We're Andy Murphy. No-longer-Sole Master of Chaldea. The Goddamned Survivor. An idiot who somehow managed to become friends with a bunch of ghosts." He said with a chuckle. "Not all of them, of course, but we've at least made a few happy, and that's good enough, right? We've always at least done 'good enough.'"
His Shadow just chuckled in response. "Yeah, we have, and isn't that good enough? We might be mediocre as balls, but we have them now, don't we? We have Arturia, we have Astolfo, we have Mash, they are all we truly need now that we're stuck here."
"Heh, 'stuck' here. Weren't you the one who reminded me about having chosen this?" Andy chuckled back.
"Oh, right. Hah, but I do mean it, the deal we made was a one-way trip," His Shadow said. "So, where do we stand?"
Andy grinned. "Well, I think you are gonna 'stand' pretty well, my darker half." He said as he grabbed the Shadow's-no, his own hand.
"So, we cool?"
"We cool."
"That's good, that is very good," He said as his body began to glow white. "Let's just be more honest from now on."
At that, his Shadow was replaced with another figure that looked similar to the form, his Shadow had taken after the rejection, though this time the humanoid figure and canine had combined to form an anthropomorphic wolf made out of roiling darkness. "I am thou, thou art I. I have come from thy Sea of Soul. My name is Ahriman let us together bear the burdens of all." He said as he vanished, and Andy could feel the presence of the Persona within him.
"Neat," Andy said, before getting drop-kicked back into reality. At least, it felt like he did with how his head was pounding.
"Senpai!" Shouted the voice of Mash.
"Dude, are you okay?" Ritsuka asked.
"Da Vinci, what the hell!" Shouted Roman.
"Hey, don't look at me. I warned him!"
And Andy could sense a wave of concern coming from many of the connections he had made with his Servants.
"Heh." He said from where he was on the ground as he mulled over what had just happened and how he'd got here in the first place. "Worth it."
"So, I assume you managed to obtain your Persona?" Gil asked as he looked down upon Andy.
"Ayup." He responded, popping the p as he got up, the headache clearing surprisingly quickly. "In retrospect, I'm sorry for making you face your older self back in Fuyuki if that felt anything like this did, Gil."
"So, you faced your Shadow? And no, it did not, entirely different scenario," The child king said.
"Gotcha," Andy said as he dusted himself off, before looking at the Evoker still in his hands. "And yeah. How bout I show him to you guys?" He asked, putting the Evoker to his temple again. "Gotta get everyone desensitized to seeing this, that's for sure."
"Hmm, Andy, why are you putting a gun to your head?" Astolfo asked as he came up to the table, alongside Arturia.
"Yes, Mother, I would like to know too?"
"You know I think that sentence just made it into my top ten weirdest things I've heard without context," Ritsuka commented as he watched the scene unfold.
"Trust me, by the time you're caught up, it won't even be in your top 20," Andy said with a smirk, before addressing his...family. "And Azzy, Arturia, this is a special tool that lets me summon something like a Stand. Like this." He said, firing on 'this,' feeling a surprising amount of recoil before Ahriman appeared before him, idle and waiting for orders.
"Hot damn, this thing is strong I can feel the power," Da Vinci said as she looked at the Persona. "So, your other-self, your inner-self is a furry Andy? Wouldn't have guessed that about you."
"Ziodyne." Andy said tonelessly, Ahriman shooting a relatively weak bolt past her head and fizzling out just past it, basically just causing her hair to stick on end. "And no. Bad Leo."
"Just joking, but it seems you managed to level up again," She said with a grin.
"I think it's freaking cool," Ritsuka said as he gave Andy a thumbs up.
"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week," Andy said dramatically, before sighing as he looked at Ahriman, whose blank stare managed to remind him what he had to do. "Actually...on that. There's… something I need to tell you guys. Something big."
"What is it, Senpai?" Mash asked her voice filled with concern.
Andy swallowed the lump in his throat. "I...I've been lying to you. To all of you. About a lot of things. About Zelretch. And...about how I got here."
"Andy, what do you mean?" Roman asked his face indecipherable.
"Before...before all this. Back home. I'd been nobody. Just a college student going home for New Year." Andy started, looking at Ahriman to help keep him focused. "And I hated it. I hated not being special, I hated having to sell my soul to some school just to sell my soul to a company. So… I made a wish. For anyone, anything that was listening to send me on a grand adventure, where I could be useful, be important, be special. So I could save the world… and something answered." He took a shuddery breath. "Nyarlathotep, but I didn't realize that till just now. He wore a different face, but looking back I know it was him. And he put me right where I needed to be, to be able to...save the world, a world similar to an anime I watched once. I'm...I'm sorry." He finished, waiting for judgment, unable to look at the people he'd grown to care for this past year. He didn't want to see their faces.
"You did the right thing," Ahriman said as he disappeared back into him no longer being needed.
The silence that followed felt like an eternity to Andy, but it barely lasted ten seconds, as it was stopped by the sound of Astolfo smacking his ass. "What you moping around for? So what if you made a deal with Nep-Nep? That doesn't mean you caused all of this to happen you know. I'm crazy, but even I can see that you haven't actually done anything wrong. Sure you lied, but it didn't hurt anyone, so it's okay in my book."
"Azzy…" Andy said. It was all he could say at the feeling of relief that filled him. And that gave him the courage to look at the others.
"The Palladin is correct; while that deal now easily makes the top of stupid stuff you've done, your presence did not cause this to happen. And, and I am grateful for your presence Mother," Arturia said with a smile.
And Mash she just smiled for there wasn't any need to speak, for on her face Andy could tell that she had long since realized that he had been lying, and was now just happy he was being honest with himself and others. Or at least, that's what Andy thought it meant.
"I will always be by your side Senpai," She said as she went over and hugged him.
As Andy began crying tears of joy once more at this, he looked back at everything that had brought him to this point again. And he decided, that yeah it really was all, "Worth it."
Xxx
A/N: Man, this was a fucking emotional rollercoaster of a chapter. And this will be only other crossover, no other ones. Though I've been planning this shit since chapter 20. And as I've already told Passive this Nep's last and only appearance in story.
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