Hallelujah for Christmas Break so I could finally get some writing done. I'm not super happy with this chapter, but if I keep working on it, it might be another month before I get it out. So, I'm just going to let it fly and apologize for any mistakes/lack of polish.

49

Lucas walked into the back room of his mom's café and wrapped his arms around his best friend's shoulders, pulling her in for a hug, "Alright, where's the body?"

"Body?" Haley turned around and her face crinkled as she laughed at his serious expression. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, the way you sounded on the phone, I was afraid you'd killed my little brother," Lucas teased, leading her over to the set of chairs nearby. "What's going on Hales?"

"I can't entirely tell you," she admitted, "I just needed someone to talk to."

"Someone other than your husband?" Haley nodded in response. Lucas ran his hand through his hair, "sounds mysterious. I'm assuming this has to do with why you've both been so mopey the last few days."

She nodded and decided to just jump right in, "Am stupid Luke?" She stood back up, "I mean, this has all happened so fast and well, how well do I really know Nathan to be giving up everything for him?"

"Where's this coming from?" Lucas pulled her back down. "Why the doubts all of a sudden?"

"Is it supposed to be this hard?" she asked, "It seems like ever since we got together, it's been one thing after another. What if we just aren't supposed to be together?"

"What if you are?" Lucas asked. "You got married in high school. Did you expect it to be easy?" he rolled his eyes at her. "With everything I know about the situation, it's amazing you two are still sane and yet you still love each other, you're still together. I think that's a miracle."

"Maybe. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't expect it to be this hard," she admitted. "I thought that as long as we loved and trusted each other, it would be enough."

"And do you? You know, truly love and trust him?" Lucas asked, "Because I can say that he definitely feels that way about you. He is so head over heels it's obnoxious."

She sighed, "I love too, so much. I guess it's just me feeling insecure. I don't know why, it's probably silly."

"Then maybe you don't fully trust him," Lucas suggested, "maybe he hasn't given you enough reasons to…or maybe, he's given you more reasons not to."

"This is a surprise," Deb Lee put down a plate of food before sitting across from her son. "What's wrong Nate?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" he asked, barely glancing at the food. He was hungry, but the way his stomach was churning, he didn't think he'd be able to take a bite. "I can't visit just because I miss you?"

"You can, and I love it when you do, but you're here without notice and even more worrisome, without your wife. Where's Haley Nate?"

"She doesn't know I'm here," he admitted. "She would have wanted to come and I needed to do this alone."

"Oh honey," Deb sighed, "when are you going to learn that you don't have to do things by yourself? Haley loves you and whatever it is that's going on, you need to let her be there for you." She paused and her face creased with a frown, "unless Haley is the problem. Oh Nate, please tell me you haven't screwed things up and hurt that girl."

"Not yet," he sighed, "hopefully not ever."

Nathan stood and walked over to look out the window that overlooked the back part of the parking lot where they'd put a basketball hoop on the wall. "I used to spend hours just shooting, over and over, nothing else to worry about. Even when things were hard, when we were struggling, it always seemed simple. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I was Nathan Scott and as long as I worked hard, I was sure I could get scholarships and everything would be okay. We'd be okay…our future would be set. I was going to make sure of it."

Deb didn't say anything, simply waited for him to continue, knowing that this was leading to something he didn't really want to talk about.

"I haven't felt like that in a long time, like things were simple and everything would be okay," he admitted, turning to move back to her, "Mom, I think I found a donor."

Deb's face showed her confusion at the change of topic, "what kind of donor?"

"For you," Nathan gripped the fork in his hands as though it was a lifeline, "There's a match, someone I know, and who is willing, at least possibly, to donate bone marrow for you…for your transplant."

He looked at his mother who simply nodded and waited for him to continue, "Aren't you happy? Excited?"

"I'm waiting for the but," she gestured for him to continue. "You wouldn't be here looking like someone died to give me great news. Why isn't Haley with you?"

He sat down and told her everything, "I know what I should do, what I have to do…"

She cut him off, "I would never," she made sure he was looking her straight in the eye to see how serious she was, "ever let you give up your wife, your happiness for me."

"But they aren't exclusive. How can I be happy if something happens to you?" he looked to her like the little boy he'd been what seemed like the day before.

"You'd be fine. You have a family now and a wife who loves you," she countered.

"How can you say that?" Nathan got angry, "How can you act like it would be easy to forget about you?"

"I could die in a car accident tomorrow," she pointed out.

"Don't talk like that," he frowned, "that's not the same thing."

"I'm not saying you wouldn't be hurt or upset, but you'd mourn and then continue your life with Haley and be the man I always wanted you to be," she smiled softly. "It might be hard, but you'd move on."

She could see her son wasn't happy with that answer, but she needed him to understand, "There are no guarantees in life. Anything can happen. You know it might not even work right? The transplant. It's not even guaranteed without further testing that we'd be a match…"

"But it might, and you could…" he argued.

"You know I won't let you do this Nathan," she shook her head lightly and a thought came to her, "of course you do. That's why you came here today." She smiled as he tried to protest. "I should've realized it before now. You've always been stubborn and determined. If you wanted to do this, I wouldn't be able to stop you, but you aren't here for my advice, you're here because you've already made a decision and you want my permission to forgive yourself for it."

"I'm so sorry, I swear I don't want…" he felt tears start to well in his eyes and he could barely look at her. She must feel like he was betraying her after everything she'd sacrificed for him.

"Thank God," she interrupted his apology, laughing at the shocked look on his face at her exclamation. "I thought for a minute there that I'd actually raised a son who would let himself be blackmailed into leaving his wife for a desperate tramp who only wants his money."

"But it's your life in the balance…"

"Exactly, it's my life, not yours. Oh Nathan," Deb reached over and took his hand, "you've always thought you were somehow responsible for me. That's my fault, I'm your mother and I should've never let you feel like you had to take care of me. I love you for everything you've done. You've been a son that most people only dream of, but it's not your job Nate, it's mine."

"But…"

"Go back and apologize to your wife Nathan Scott, and don't ever let her go."

"Why would you do this for me?" Rachel asked as Haley bustled around her living room, getting the redhead settled on the couch. "I've been horrible to you." And, I'm going along with destroying your marriage. "I don't get it."

Haley shrugged. "You need a place to stay and someone to help you out. I couldn't just leave you there alone, so here you are. It's only for a few days and then you'll be fine on your own."

Rachel felt uncomfortable with the arrangement, but hadn't had much of a choice. It wasn't like anyone else was stepping up with offers and she wasn't supposed to be on her own yet. Besides, she had to admit the girl had grown on her. They'd started having little conversations when she came to visit and she realized that what she'd always thought was Haley playing at being nice was actually just the person she was. She was the most kind, genuine person Rachel had ever met and the redhead had to keep reminding herself of what Nathan had done to be able to keep her mouth shut about Tiffany's plans.

"Thanks," she closed her eyes as she tried to adjust her arm on the couch. "I swear, I'll find a way to pay you back."

Haley nodded absentmindedly, looking at the clock, "Nathan will be home soon, I should get dinner started."

Rachel felt like she was going to burst with guilt, an unfamiliar feeling and one she didn't like. She reminded herself that it was best for Haley in the long run to know the truth. Over the last few days, it had even seemed to her like maybe there was already trouble in paradise. If they were already having problems, she decided to see if maybe she could guide her new friend to make the decision to break up with him on her own. She knew the blonde wouldn't be nearly as hurt if it was on her terms.

Besides, Haley was too young to be dealing with all this crap. She'd seen sluff like this before with her parents, the man making mistakes and the woman always making sacrifices to fix things, to make everything easiest for him. She'd watched the woman she'd once actually thought of as a mother become a cold, hard woman just to survive the life she led. "What are you, his slave?"

Haley turned, "What? No, of course not, we're partners," she looked at the redhead in confusion. "We take turns cooking, but I'm the one home first today, so it's my turn."

"I bet he makes sure you're almost always home first," Rachel rolled her eyes. For a smart girl, Haley wasn't very good at realizing she was being manipulated. Even most ten year olds could spot a ruse when they saw it, "that way, he conveniently doesn't get very many turns."

"Actually, he likes to cook," Haley walked over to the fridge and started pulling out ingredients, "My mom let it slip that he's even been asking her for recipes. When I asked him about it, he said it's soothing and reminds him of home. It's probably because he worked in the kitchen a lot at his mom's pub."

"He cooks?" Rachel was still stuck on the idea of the jock willingly spending time in the kitchen. He seemed too macho, too wrapped up in basketball to take time out to do something so domestic, "I don't think I've ever even seen my father enter the kitchen."

Haley shrugged and smiled, unaware of the path her guest's thoughts had gone, "He's not a chef by any means, but he does pretty well. He also does laundry and dishes. The only thing he won't help with is making the bed. I don't know why, but it's the one thing he hates helping with."

She shrugged and turned on the oven. She had to get a move on it if she was going to make a better dinner than their normal Saturday night pizza or sandwiches. She wanted to apologize for bringing Rachel into their home against his wishes and thank him for not fighting her on the decision.

He hadn't been overly happy about her offer, but with the limbo she felt like they were in at the moment, she had seen it as a welcome distraction. It wasn't until she actually started getting her settled that she truly understood his reasoning about lack of privacy, especially in the state they were in at the moment. As much as she loved him and she knew he loved her, she couldn't help but feel like the ax could fall on their relationship at any moment and it wasn't something she wanted witnesses for. She sighed and threw some pasta in the pot. It was too late to change things at that point. She might as well make the best of it.

"Nathan isn't like most guys. He grew up doing a lot of things for himself since it was just him and his mom," Haley went around the island and sat on the stool while she chopped vegetables. "He does a lot around here, sometimes more than I do. My mom says I'm lucky, that most women just hope their husband puts the toilet seat down and I have to admit, I have enough brothers to agree with her."

Rachel didn't want to hear his praises and her guilt was turning to anger at the blindness she saw in front of her. "Those things aren't what really matters though. The important thing is none of them are faithful."

Haley looked up from her task, "Some of them are. My father and brothers are all good men who have always been true and loyal and Nathan and I might have problems, but I know he wouldn't cheat on me."

"Oh come on," Rachel sat up, grimacing from the effort, but unwilling to listen to Haley sing his praises any longer, "He's duping you. I can't stand by anymore and watch you walk around without knowing the truth. He already cheated on you and not only did he sleep with someone else, he got her pregnant."

Haley lost her grip on the knife in her hand, the metal slicing her palm before falling and clanging off the tile floor. She felt herself start to hyperventilate. It couldn't be true; he would never do something like that to her.

"It's Tiffany," Rachel continued, seeing her chance to get Haley to believe, to understand that her husband was scum, just like the rest of the men in the world. "It happened the night of the Boy Toy Auction."

Haley thought back to that night, to walking in to find Tiffany in Nathan's shirt, to how hurt she had been. She remembered that he had told her he hadn't done anything wrong, at least he didn't think so…she remembered he hadn't sounded as convincing as she'd like

"I'm sorry Hales," Rachel continued, "I actually like you and I don't want to hurt you, but you deserve to know."

"Don't call me that," Haley looked back at her, and then down at her hand, surprised to find it bleeding profusely. She hadn't even realized she'd cut it, but now that she knew, it was throbbing like crazy, "I need to..." she caught a sob as it attempted to leave her throat and headed for her bathroom, turning back for a moment as she opened the door, "I need a few minutes..."

"Nathan," she said, wrapping her hand in a towel and choking back her tears, "Please tell me it isn't true…"

Nathan got off the phone with a nearly hysterical wife and turned his car back around, heading in a different direction. After everything, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. This was a serious accusation and all bets were off. He wasn't going to let Tiffany get away with this, no matter what it took. This wasn't just about her getting her way and him needing her help anymore. It went way beyond that now and he was bringing in reinforcements, her rules be-damned. He was done playing by her rules.

Haley finally stopped crying and calmed herself down. The bleeding had slowed and she felt confident that it would be okay if she just wrapped it with some gauze. Forcing her mind to clear as she did the mundane task, she thought about everything she knew about him now, so much more than the day they got married.

She'd just had a long conversation the day before with Lucas about trust and come out of it with a deep realization that her husband had always told her the truth, even when it wasn't in his best interest. He might make mistakes, but he always put those he loved first and she was sure he loved her. If he said he didn't do it, she had to believe him.

"It's not true. He's too honorable, too honest for something like that," she came out of the room and told her guest. She might have been insecure at times, mostly why someone so amazing seemed to want her when he had so many options, but she'd never doubted his sincerity or integrity. She couldn't believe he had the capability for that kind of deceit. She'd seen his pain over being lied to and his hurt after being betrayed. He would never do that to someone he cared about.

"Don't bury your head in the sand," Rachel couldn't get why Haley wasn't willing to accept the facts. As far as she could see, blind faith would only lead to a broken heart, "You're too trusting. I understand you don't want to believe it, and it probably hurts like heck, but I'm telling you, I saw the sonogram. It's very real."

"And I'm telling you, if she's pregnant, it's not his," Haley put her hands on her hips, staring down the other teen. "Nathan Scott isn't perfect," she admitted, "he can be stubborn and boneheaded and frustrating as heck, but he isn't a liar. He said he didn't sleep with her, and I believe him. It's not true."

Rachel wished she'd ever had someone defend her the way Haley was defending Nathan, deserved or not. It was almost enough to make her believe in him too, but not quite. "For your sake, I wish it wasn't," Rachel said, actually meaning it. "I really do, but I think you're just setting yourself up for one heck of a fall."

Nathan walked toward his apartment, prepared for anything. Haley had sounded distressed over the phone, but he hadn't gotten a good feel for how much anger was lacing the fear and the hurt. She had every right to hate him right then. He'd been a crappy husband and it was his stupidity that put them in the position for these accusations in the first place. He knew he'd hurt her with his distance and indecision. She had to be hurting over the fact that no matter how hard he was trying to figure things out, he still hadn't said equivocally that he was choosing her. Still, he hoped she had enough faith in him to at least give him another chance to explain, even if he didn't deserve it.

He stuck his key in the lock, taking a deep breath as he turned the knob, unprepared for the tiny bundle that pulled the door out of his hands and threw herself against his chest

"God Nathan, are you okay?" her arms wrapped tight around him as if she couldn't get close enough. "I can't believe she's trying to do this to you."

He wrapped his arms around her back and kissed her head, unsure what to say. He'd come here expecting her anger and tears, prepared to get on his knees and beg her forgiveness if that's what it took. Instead, her unfailing belief in him, her worry about him in the face of something that admittedly looked really bad, made him fall in love with her all over again. It also reaffirmed what he'd already known and finally admitted just a few hour earlier. He couldn't give her up, no matter the cost.

He leaned down and kissed her, "I don't deserve you, Hales, but I'm never letting you go."

"Then let's see what we can do about making sure that happens," a voice said behind him and they pulled away for a moment to see Dan, Karen, and Lucas behind them. "We will figure this out…together."

"And then I don't remember anything until I heard yelling and came out of the bedroom. I have no idea exactly what happened during that hour or so, but I don't think I was capable of doing…that," he made a vague gesture with his hands, "even if I'd wanted to."

"So what happened?" Haley reached for his hand, the concern in her voice palpable, "Did you black out or something? Why didn't you tell me? We could've postponed the wedding," she looked into his eyes as if checking for some unseen problem, "It could be something serious."

Nathan looked over at this brother who was giving him a look that said if he didn't answer the question, he would. "I think I was…um, unconscious."

"You think?" Haley's brow furrowed, her mind going into overdrive as she thought about possible causes of his blackout, "You don't know? Did you fall or hit your head or something? Has this happened before?"

"She drugged me," he rubbed his hands down his face, partially in fear of his family's reactions, partially in embarrassment that he'd let himself be played so thoroughly. "Apparently I underestimated her and she must've gotten a hold of my drink."

"Oh come on," Rachel jumped in from her spot across the room on the couch. She'd been lying there, mostly forgotten but able to hear everything. "This is the most pathetic story I've ever heard. Just admit you couldn't keep it in your pants pretty boy. It'll go easier for you if you tell the truth."

"It's not just a story," Nathan rolled his eyes. "Look, I admit I was dumb to ever let her come here. I screwed up, but I had no idea she would try something like this. She's been a lot of things, not many of them good, but while I didn't trust her, I never imagined she would do something so crazy, so…desperate."

"And dangerous," Karen couldn't help adding. "Putting any substance in someone's system without their knowledge can cause serious harm, and that's not even considering an overdose or what she may have done while you were unaware."

Rachel slowly stood and took a few steps across the room, "That's a pretty big accusation, one you can't prove, unlike the one Tiffany is making."

Lucas stood up, "actually, he can. He was pretty messed up when I got here that night so I took him to the hospital and they ran tests. There were traces of both Rohypnol and Ketamine in his system. He's dang lucky he didn't drink more than he did or he could easily be dead."

All eyes swung from Lucas to Nathan, who sighed, waiting for the blow up he knew was coming.

"Why didn't any of us know about this?" it was Dan's voice who boomed through the room. "Dang it Nathan, this is not the kind of thing you keep a secret. We should have pressed charges or at least filed a police report. You should have called me and I would have come to help you put her in jail…"

"In case you don't remember, I already had a lot going on that day," Nathan stood up, looking at his wife as they both remembered he'd been worried about trying to salvage his wedding and his chances to help his mother. "It wasn't my top priority at the time and frankly I didn't trust you or want you to know. The only reason Lucas even got me to the hospital was because I was too out of it to fight him."

Rachel sat back down, her mind whirling in confusion. As they argued across the room about what Nathan should have done, she was trying to decide if what they said was possible. Would Tiffany really have done that? She had a hard time believing it of a woman, even one as desperate as her friend had seemed. In her experience, men were normally the treacherous ones. Besides, even if he'd been drugged, which she still wasn't sure she believed, that didn't mean he hadn't gotten her pregnant. There was a reason people were given those kinds of drugs and the most common was to lower their inhibitions and make sex more likely. It was possible just a tiny bit was what he needed to give himself an excuse to do something he already wanted anyway. Or, maybe Nathan really wouldn't have cheated on Haley in normal circumstances, but didn't know what he was doing. Even if Tiffany was a villain in this, she still felt for the baby. The older woman had really seemed scared for her child's life. A child deserved to be loved and taken care of, no matter how it came into being. Most of the parents she knew couldn't manage it with their own kids. She couldn't see even Haley being able to be a loving mother to a child her husband had been tricked, possibly forced, into conceiving with someone other than her.

"Frankly," she said, "even if I were to believe Nathan's story, that doesn't mean he isn't the father. He admits he doesn't remember quite a chunk of time and they did have a previous sexual history."

The group turned and met her eyes, all of their faces surprised that they hadn't drawn that conclusion themselves. "I'm not taking any sides in this, but no matter whose fault it is, or how it happened, there's an innocent baby to be worried about in this situation."

Nathan leaned against the headboard and gently brushed aside his wife's hair as she slept against his chest. It had been a rough evening and Haley had ended it in tears against his chest. She had more faith in him than he deserved, but even he had to admit that with his lack of memory, there was at least a slight chance he'd done the unthinkable. She'd forgive him, he knew she would, but Rachel had been right. If he really had fathered a child, even unwillingly, everything was somehow even more complicated than it had already been.

His heart raced the more he considered this possibility and he felt like me might have a panic attack. He'd thought a few times over the last couple of months about what it might be like to have a child with Haley someday, but that had been far into the future. The thought of having one now, and bringing it into such a messed up situation was a total nightmare. As crazy as his childhood had been, he'd still had a wonderful, loving mother and the Fields (and eventually his uncle) had been his extended family. This child could very well end up a lot worse off, starting with a mother who had no problems using their own baby as a bargaining chip. Could he really let a child of his, no matter how it was conceived, be raised by the kind of person who would do something like that in the first place? He refused to let any child of his be reared without a father in its life, knowing the pain that absence could cause.

"Stop beating yourself up. You need to sleep too," Haley wiggled herself even closer against him without opening her eyes. "There's nothing we can do right now."

"I was so stupid," he sighed, "It's my fault we're even in this situation. I just keep making mistake after mistake. I knew I couldn't trust her and I still let her close enough to hurt us."

"Maybe, but you had no idea she would do something like this. If something happened that night, it was against your wishes. A small mistake in judgment doesn't make that okay and it doesn't make what she did, or tried to do, any less horrible."

"I wish I could remember, but then I think, if something really happened, maybe I'm better off not having it to torture myself with," he willed his heart rate to slow down. He was starting to feel like he couldn't breathe. "If there really is a kid, what am I supposed to do?

"I don't have any answers either, but we're in this together," she looked down at her hand and fiddled with the wrap. Nathan had redone it for her hours ago, but her constantly playing with it was making it come loose again. "Can't they do a paternity test?"

"I talked to Patrick and he said they can do a test in utero, but there is some risk involved and most judges wont' compel a woman to do it. I don't know what to think Hales. The more I try to figure it out, the more lost I feel."

"You need sleep," she kissed him on the chin. "We're all too drained to be making decisions tonight."

"I can't stop thinking about it," he scooted to his side a little so he could look into her eyes. "I keep trying to remember anything more but it's like a black hole where the memories should be and I…"

"Shhhh," she gave him a soft kiss.

"But if I hadn't…"

"Stop," she covered his mouth with her hand, "you can't keep torturing yourself like this. Whatever happened, happened and beating yourself up isn't going to fix anything."

She could feel how tense he was under her hands and convinced him to roll over so she could knead his muscles. "I know it's easier said than done, but you need to let it go for right now."

Nathan nodded, knowing she was right, but doubting his ability to follow the advice, no matter how good. "It's hard."

"Yes it is," she teased as she moved lower, feeling his body react to her touch. "Maybe all you need is a reminder of why it's so important that we find a way through this."

He groaned as her hand slid around to his hip, ever so close to where he wanted it most, "I already know why, she's laying right next to me."

"So you don't want a reminder?" she grinned, sensing that she was doing a good job of distracting him. His breathing was still fast, but for a different reason and all signs of onset of a panic attack were fading.

"I didn't say that," he rolled over so she was under him. "I think, that's the perfect prescription Dr. Scott. It's exactly what I need."

"Then what are you waiting for?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

His eyes went to the closed door, "are you sure, with you know who out there?"

"She took pain meds and they knock her out," Haley pushed her shorts off with her foot, "but even if that weren't true, you're my husband and I will never be ashamed for loving you."