CHAPTER 69
Father John walked without knowing where to go.
Around him, the usual dark ... but Father John felt like he was walking in a long tunnel. A long tunnel he had to cross in order to get out and reach the outside.
He must have been worried. He must have been panicked, terrified.
However, he felt none of this.
He felt… instead, a feeling of deep serenity. An aura of well-being, of inner peace.
Father John continued his steps. Before him, a light. A bright white light almost dazzling him.
Mumblings, whispers ... He felt like he heard voices that sounded familiar to him. Voices he hadn't heard in a long time.
His father ... his mother ... dead for ten years.
They called him. They invited him to join them.
One more time, a flush of warmth invaded the priest's heart. It felt so good, so promising.
Father John kept walking, stretching out his arms towards the light.
Then these thoughts.
The key to destroying and rebuilding everything ...
The key to saving Mary…
The key to saving the universe…
The key to making Wing happy…
This key ... is in your hands.
Father John stopped dead. He watched the white light move closer to him, as if to swallow him up.
The human backed away ... and soon he was sucked into the bright aura that disappeared into a black hole as quickly as it had appeared.
Father John regained consciousness on a hard surface, albeit attenuated by the softness of pillows and blankets.
The whispers around him did not stop. The sounds of an EKG reached his ears. Barely emerging, Father John felt like his spirit had left his body. When he tried to move his right hand, at least two good minutes, that felt already too long, passed until he was able to make the move.
Was he in the hospital? Father John felt his dry mouth barely open, but no words came out. He didn't remember what had happened ... he only remembered losing consciousness.
But about his memories of the meantime, and all that had happened before he passed out ... his mind gave him no answer.
"John ..."
Father John hadn't realized that his hand had been seized. The usual darkness veiled his eyes. But he recognized, after a while, Mary's soft and warm palm that was clutching his own.
"... John. How are you feeling ? Do you know where you are? You recognize me ?"
Her voice sounded upset. Father John just nodded, too weak to turn in the direction where Mary's voice came from.
"Damn it ... John. You ... you really scared me ... you ... I thought ... "
Mary didn't have to say the end of the sentence.
I thought I lost you.
Father John had thought he had lost her too… little by little, his memories came back, in bits and pieces. The Sanctuary… Mary wounded…
"... You ..." he only managed to ask.
Mary took a breath.
"... I'm fine, John. Ratchet looked after me. He looked after you too ... We are ... we are at the Autobot base. In Jasper."
Father John let the relief take over.
"I could not run or exercise for several weeks. But it's OK. I'll get out of it."
So much better, he wanted to tell her.
But ... what had happened ... His amnesia left a big blur in his mind. Father John returned Mary's embrace and tightened her grip, silently asking her what had happened.
Had it been the emotional shock ... that had brought him into this state? The stress ... the fact that he'd risked his life ...?
"... You had a heart attack, John" she announced to him.
The news felt like a thunderclap. This left the priest speechless.
"... Your ... your heart stopped beating for two minutes. I ... I wanted to take you to the hospital... But Ratchet talked me out of it. He used the defibrillator ... He kept trying until your heart started beating. We ... we thought it was the end ... If he hadn't convinced me ... it would have been too late ..."
The end…
This dark tunnel ... this white light ... these voices ...
Father John had nothing to answer. He didn't understand ... he had never had any heart troubles... Mary gently caressed his palm, in a comforting gesture tinged with discreet affection.
"... He made a diagnosis. He concluded that it was due to the armour you were using ..."
The armour ... oh yes. Now he distinctly remembered it. Steering, touch, warmth of the cockpit...
"Tarantulas created the armour so that the spark, the pilot's energy is connected to it. Even if a human heart is also able to move it, to control it ... what Tarantulas may not have expected ... a human heart is not as strong as a spark. It wears out much more easily. And that caused the attack."
Father John swallowed, collecting the different information. That explained his discomfort, his nausea ...
"We brought back the armour ... it can be useful for Autobots. But ... a human shouldn't use it, John."
"... At least I would have driven one. Cybertronian armour, once in my life" said Father John with a weak smile.
"You have always been a geek at heart," replied Mary in a light joking tone.
Silence fell. Father John let his brain welcome the different memories that came back gradually.
"... The artifact?" asked the priest.
"The Diamond is safe" reassured Mary.
The smell of the energon suddenly came back to him.
Father John wanted to straighten up. But Mary put a firm hand on his shoulder, inviting him to sit down again.
The question burned his lips.
"… Glacius?"
Even if he did not see anything, Father John only too painfully guessed Mary's face cracking. In his chest, his heart quickened.
"… No…" he pronounced in a hoarse breath.
"... He is not dead, John. But ... he's in emergency stasis."
"In emergency stasis?"
"The equivalent of a coma for humans" clarified Mary.
A coma…
Father John couldn't know if he should feel relieved that Glacius was not dead ... or more worried. He dropped his head on the pillow.
"… He's going to wake up, huh?" asked Father John, tone empty.
"... I don't know, John."
"He's going to wake up."
Glacius was strong ... He did not deserve to die. Not after all he had accomplished for them.
" John."
"I made a promise" Father John remembered. "I have to hold it."
"For the moment, there is nothing you can do. You need to rest ... that's all you need right now."
The priest nodded, the anguish tightening his heart.
Mary did not leave. With difficulty, Father John put his second hand on her palm.
"…You stay with me… ?" he asked her softly.
"Of course," replied Mary.
He felt her approach. He let her come to him to lay her head against his chest, in a silent but tender embrace.
They needed it. Both ... Father John needed her presence. He tried not to think about Glacius, just burying his head in Mary's soft hair.
"Ratchet ... Primus, talk to us!" "
With trembling servos on his chassis, Ratchet lowered his head, not daring to face the gaze of the two-wheeler burning on his back.
Why ... how could she still speak to him? How could she still look at him?
"Ratchet! Primus, talk to us! Talk to us ! Tell us what happened."
As soon as Father John and Mary were out of danger, Ratchet rejected the embrace offered by the two-wheeler and the red bot.
From the moment Arcee and Cliffjumper had stepped towards him, a hopeful smile on their faces, genuinely delighted to see him alive, Ratchet had rejected their welcome, instead focusing on the injured to be treated.
He knew he had to share their joy ... he had to be happy to see his old comrades again ...
But right now, it was like he didn't recognize them. As if he did not yet realize that he had escaped from the Sanctuary ... From this hell ... That it was another deception on the part of Tarantulas ...
"Ratchet ... what's going on? Where's Wheeljack? Where are the other team members? Where are our friends? Talk to us!"
I do not want to speak to you…
Leave me ... leave me ...
"I have to treat them ..."
Like it's the only thing that mattered right now. Tarantulas risked changing his mind.
"Talk to us, Ratchet… Talk to us!"
"Ratchet, stop! You scare us there! Tell us what happened ... "
Ratchet had clenched his jaw. If they were really with him right now ...
How could he ... How could he tell them this painful news? They, who were smiling just a few minutes ago… how could he tell them such a new and not destroy them?
"Ratchet! Put this equipment down! Sit down ! Talk to us ! We are worried!"
Ratchet had stopped.
"... Wheeljack ... First Aid ..."
Then, as if it were his last breath, he painfully confessed, tone empty.
"... They are all dead. They were all massacred. "
Arcee had been crying. She, who had always been so strong, who had always behaved during hard times and always acted as if nothing had ever affected her, had burst out in tears and sobbed in Cliffjumper's arms for long hours . Even though the red bot had also tried to appear resistant, he was deeply devastated and overwhelmed by the news.
Their comrades would not return ... they were dead, killed by monsters, madmen and sadists. And Ratchet had just… stood still, watching his fellow Autobots mourn their losses.
Even today, the two-wheeler was facing him, her throat knotted and tears in her optics that threatened to roll on his cheeks.
"... Talk to me, Ratchet."
"…I am leaving."
Bag in servo, he was ready to use a ground-bridge and leave.
Far. He didn't know where but far from here ...
For a time he was almost tempted to return to the Sanctuary. It was his place. It was where he belonged. It was where he deserved to suffer.
"Ratchet ... you don't have to go ..."
"It's my fault," said Ratchet, in a somber tone.
"No! Don't say that" cried Arcee as she hurriedly approached him.
"Yes, it's my fault!" he shouted suddenly, making the two-wheeled back off.
All the pain, all the rage he had accumulated ... all of that ... everything was coming back to him.
After a while, he felt his legs give way under him. He fell to his knees. Yet he continued to speak.
"It's my fault if they died!" he yelled, fists clenched, ready to strike something. "I should have prevented their death! I should have died! I should have died with them!"
Everything will be fine, doc.
All because he had been the medic ... because these monsters had needed a medic!
"An Autobot does not let his comrades perish! I don't deserve this title! No ! I no longer deserve this title! I have to go now."
"Are you going to abandon your comrades ? The comrades you have left?" growled Arcee, her tone rising. "Are you going to close in on yourself?"
"… At least I won't suffer anymore. And no one will suffer anymore because of me and my mistakes!"
Arcee didn't add anything else.
Ratchet took his face in his servos. And a few moments later, he felt a soft embrace envelop his shoulderplates.
He felt a pained smile on the face of the two-wheeler, her jerky breath caressing the doctor's neck.
"... I know what it feels like," said Arcee after a silence. "Losing a comrade, a partner, a friend... and I know you have faced hell. We should have come to get you earlier."
Yes… Ratchet bit his lip.
"But ... closing in on yourself will not help anyone. You know."
"It's my fault ... you should blame me."
"No. You couldn't have done anything, can you hear me? Stop flogging yourself like that. Stop blaming yourself."
She paused.
"Ratchet… stay with us. We need you here. Not just because you're the medic. We need you because we missed you. Atrociously. To me, to Cliffjumper, to Bee… everyone. Please don't leave us."
Ratchet closed the optics.
"... Don't give up Undertone. He needs you too."
Again, Ratchet felt tears rolling down his cheeks.
Arcee tightened her embrace, accepting his silent response.
"... They will all die ..." he spat, sobs in his voice. "They will pay ... they will pay ..."
"... Revenge will not bring back our comrades, Ratchet."
But it was all they deserved, right now! All that these sadists deserved!
Don't destroy your soul ...
Ratchet let his bag slip from his digits and fall to the ground. Eventually he slowly turned around to hug Arcee against him, shedding all the pain and mourning he hadn't been able to express so freely at the Sanctuary.
" …Thank you."
The day before, Father John had slept all day. Fatigue and emotions had finished him. But today he was feeling a little bit fitter. Enough to get out of bed and stagger to Glacius' bedside. He wanted to ask Ratchet to move his bed to be closer to the Cybertronian. But maybe it was not a good idea.
The fact of knowing Glacius in a coma, that the latter would not respond, would not react to his words pierced his heart. But he wanted to at least thank him. Father John groped and finally put his hand on the metal which he guessed was Glacius' digit.
Footsteps echoed behind him.
"... You should be in bed, Father John," said his benefactor's voice.
Father John smiles, recognizing Gasket. Gently, without turning away from Glacius, he turned his head towards the Cybertronian.
" …I know. But I wanted to thank you too" said the human.
"You don't have to thank me" sighed Gasket. "It was you, Mary and Ratchet who managed to keep the artifact safe."
"But without you, we were dead. You also saved us from the flames, at Garboil's Castle, Wing and me."
He felt Gasket tick. Father John straightened before sitting on the floor.
"... Why didn't you tell me your identity, Gasket? And why didn't you stay with us?" he asked softly.
"... I already explained it to Mary. I was scared."
"Scared?"
"Because of…Decepticons. Autobots ... of your kind."
Father John frowned at this remark.
"… And the reaction of the members of the Circle of Light. It's because of me if they know the position of the artifacts."
"We forced you, Gasket. You couldn't have done much."
"Yes. I should have done everything in my power so that they didn't find out."
"You're not going to leave, are you?"
The Cybertronian's hesitation was only glaring.
Suddenly, a detail came back to the human's memory. How could he have forgotten such important information? Immediately he exclaimed.
"... Gasket. Contact Wing, Bumblebee and Rung. The Sanctuary sent a squadron of one hundred Insecticons to Frayus, to retrieve the next artifact."
"Are you sure ?"
Yes. Glowstrike had sent them. Father John remembered every detail of their conversation.
"We must contact them," repeated the priest.
"In that case, we'll take care of it. But unfortunately, it is likely that they have already arrived in Frayus. And this planet is out of reach of our communication networks on Earth because of their distance. Ratchet is currently trying to manipulate to be able to contact them, but this may take some time."
Father John bit his lip. He hadn't thought of that.
"... But ... are Cybertron and Frayus far from each other?"
He guessed a pensive look on Gasket's face.
"…Far enough. But it might be right at the distance."
"Maybe we can ask someone who lives on Cybertron to contact them? Surely you know someone, right?"
Gasket took a while to answer.
"…Yes. I would know someone. Drift… Drift can try to contact them."
Father John approved of the idea.
"We can do that."
"You should go back to bed, Father John. You are tired."
As he straightened up, the human stiffened.
He ran a hand through his pants pocket, which he had not changed since his arrival at the Sanctuary.
He felt something inside ... and when Father John grabbed the object to extract it, he realized on contact that it was the USB key that he had taken while he was looking for the artifact.
The key to destroying and rebuilding everything ...
"…What is that?" Gasket asked.
"I don't know ... I found it at the Sanctuary. Or rather ... it was the Diamond that ... that gave it to me."
"Wait ... did the artifact give you something?"
Father John nodded.
Gasket did not answer. He felt he was taken aback. Cautiously, the Cybertronian asked him to give it to him. Father John obeyed, reaching out for him. Gasket received it.
"… Do you think that means something?" asked the priest.
The human guessed he was examining the USB drive in question.
"... It's strange" said Gasket.
"Why?"
"It's a USB key with a special program. Something you humans would call malware. It's old Cybertronian technology. Usually, this type of USB key is only used for two reasons."
Two reasons…?
"... To collect the personal data of a Cybertronian" admitted Gasket.
"Personal data?"
"The memories, if you prefer. Cybertronians can choose to put data on these USB sticks and reuse it later if necessary. We can also extract them from our system and delete them from our memory, while keeping them on this USB key via the program."
Delete memories? What kind of memory?
Father John thought back to Wing. To memories erased from his mind ... those that concerned his daughter.
This silenced the human. He remembered that Gasket, Drift and Dai Atlas had deliberately chosen to erase his memories to protect Wing from the pain.
And before he'd left, Wing ... had ignored Drift's calls and hadn't wanted to communicate with Dai Atlas either.
"... I don't understand why the artifact showed you this" added Gasket.
"I don't know either."
But… would Wing agree to speak with Gasket?
Something struck the human. He hesitated, but ended up questioning the Cybertronian:
"... So, malware removes data from the memory of a Cybertronian?"
"Indeed," said Gasket.
"And… is it possible to find the lost data? In case someone ... has accessed it?"
A short silence answered him.
He didn't know if it was a good time to discuss this with Gasket and tell him that he knew the truth about Heavenlight. That Wing knew it too.
He could. But ... it was not his place to say it. It was up to them both to talk to each other, to explain themselves.
"... Yes" he ended up answering. "Yes, it is possible to recollect our lost data, by reversing the program algorithm. However, it is very complex."
It was all he needed to know. Gasket gave him the USB key back, saying that they shall ask Ratchet to examine it later.
"… Gasket" called Father John before the Cybertronian left.
He guessed that his interlocutor had turned.
"... Repair your antenna" advised Father John, a knowing smile on his face. "Wing has never stopped sending you messages since you left."
This left the Cybertronian speechless.
"…Really?" he asked, hesitantly.
"He cares a lot about you. He worried a lot. If he came to Earth, it was not only in relation to the artifacts. But it was also for you, to find you."
He believed that Gasket needed to know that. Since Wing had given everything to try to find him, and no matter what had happened, Father John knew that Wing would be happy to see Gasket alive.
Gasket did not answer. He just walked away without a word. However, he stopped before absently launching:
"... You should talk to Mary. She has things to tell you."
Father John heard Outrigger in the distance taking him aside.
"Gasket! You remember me?" asked the young bot. "I was younger at the time."
He guessed a smile on Gasket's lips.
"We didn't cross paths much but ... Of course I remember you, Outrigger. It's hard to forget you."
This exchange delighted Father John. The human decided to leave them alone and walked slowly to his bed before lying down. He reached out and found Mary's hand, the latter having promised to stay with him.
"We still accomplished so much together," said Father John, lightly.
"Hm?"
"We have travelled a lot together. We discovered the existence of Cybertronians together. We went through many trials together. And ... right now, we're contributing together to the safety of the universe. And thanks to the two of us ... Wing and Gasket will be reunited."
He guessed a smile on Mary's face.
"... That's right" she admitted.
"Gasket informed me that you had something to say to me, Mary."
He felt her stiffen.
A silence fell. Mary ended up taking a breath. A long inspiration.
"... I lost my apartment, John."
This revelation thundered the priest.
And as promised earlier at the Sanctuary, Mary told him everything. She told him about the meeting between Gasket and the humans, the fact that the latter had tried to deactivate the Cybertronian, her position on it, and the fact that she chose to release Gasket ...
And her dismissal. The army, after many services from Mary as an officer, had dismissed Mary for insubordination and gross negligence.
Hence Gasket's distrust of humans, Father John thought.
"... They told me that I had put the safety of the universe at risk."
"It is rather they who endanger it with their mentality" retorted the priest, scandalized by such a decision on their part.
He took Mary's hand again.
"... But ... you could tell me about it, Mary. You could tell me about it and tell me ... I would have helped you."
"I didn't want to, John."
He guessed that she had bowed her head.
"... After I let you down ... it wouldn't have been fair for you to host me when I don't deserve it. Because that's what you would have offered me, right?"
The priest sighed.
"It wouldn't have been fair. Perhaps. But it was not fair of you not to tell me about it."
"I'm sorry."
"Mary ..."
Father John came closer to her.
"... Come and live with me. My apartment may not be large. But it will always be better than sleeping in the car."
"John ... "
"Starry will be delighted to see you" he added in an amused tone.
Mary did not answer.
"... You've always been too nice, John."
"I think I share this common point with Wing" he retorted quietly.
"John ..."
She paused.
"... I still have feelings for you."
Father John raised his chin. He felt the weight of words that Mary had trouble pronouncing.
He gave her an encouraging smile, inviting her to continue.
"... I mean, by that, I still love you. I think I'll even love you forever. Not in the platonic sense of the word. I ... I still love you as a mate. As my companion. The only one I would ever have."
Her voice was trembling.
She was anxious. And at the same time, Father John guessed her guilt and her rejection of herself.
"... I'm sorry" she added.
"Don't be."
Father John drew her into a strong and reassuring embrace, which Mary hastened to return.
"... I love you too, Mary. It's just ... now it's different."
He was a priest now.
Just as Wing had let Drift go, he had to let Mary go.
"... But come and live with me. Don't be alone."
Mary did not answer. Despite the muffled sobs in his chest, Father John guessed a shy nod from her.
The room plunged into silence, arms crossed, Glowstrike contemplated the lifeless remains of Tarantulas.
"Tarantulas was ... a brilliant scientist."
Behind her, the minister of worship of the Sanctuary delivered a speech praising the qualities of Tarantulas and what kind of person he was. The action may have been commendable, but there were qualities to be found in such an individual.
Airachnid had organized this joke. Funeral for a quality officer. And only for a quality officer. What an attentive Queen. Glowstrike watched her out of the corner of his optic. The spider was pouting and it was probably the thing that could potentially look most like sadness. From her, at least.
As for her, Glowstrike felt as much sadness as in front of a slipper on the floor.
"... He ... loved science. He was someone who exuded the joy of life ... he was ... kind when he could" recited the manager, searching for his words.
An hour that this circus lasted and it was too long. Glowstrike exchanged a look with Saberhorn. The latter was as bored as she was and he did not fail to offer her a charming smile to make her understand.
She felt like she was wasting her time. Since discovering the corpse of Tarantulas and since the Diamond had been stolen, Glowstrike has struggled to endure defeat. Distracted, the firefly massaged a bruise on her wrist. Airachnid had been furious at the news, to the point that she had blamed the theft of the artifact and the death of Tarantulas on the workers of the Hive simply because the alarm had rung.
On this point, Glowstrike admitted that there had been negligence somewhere, even though she was certain that it was the medic who had been behind it. Perhaps he had recovered the humans and the artifact in the process, before killing Tarantulas. But Airachnid had wanted to execute all the workers for fault. This would have meant the end of the Hive and the Sanctuary by extension. Even Hardshell had been against such an act. However, Glowstrike had managed to convince her not to proceed with such a butchery. Instead, Airachnide chose the most senior before torturing and executing him.
However, even if it had alleviated Airachnid's urges, at least temporarily, it didn't solve the problem. They only had one artifact. Glowstrike didn't regret Tarantulas, but they had lost their scientist. And their plan to use humans as a hostage fell apart. At least for now.
Airachnid ordered the Primus minister to be silent. She took a breath.
"To honor the memory of my fallen officer, I am hosting a party this evening. Everyone is invited. Everyone will be entitled to the amount of energon they want."
Another party, Glowstrike thought bitterly. To believe that she had understood nothing. And how touching it was to think of Tarantulas. But the lynx, the eagle, all those who died, were not entitled to such treatment. For little, she would have been almost delighted that Airachnid lost her distraction toy. She deserved it for what she had done in Galamb.
The spider passed by her. Glowstrike froze, but let her come to her. Airachnid wrapped her arms around her waist, before whispering in the hollow of her audio.
"... I hope you have a back-up plan. Otherwise, it will be you, the next one for whom we will organize a funeral."
Glowstrike did not react. Airachnide brought her face closer to the cables around her neck, as if to inhale the energon which was circulating in it.
"... I like your scent," said the spider, her servos gently rising to her breast before releasing her to join Hardshell.
Die, Glowstrike thought bitterly. As soon as Airachnid left away, she let out a shiver of disgust.
Glowstrike did not even go to the party organized by Airachnid and her team. She went straight to her room. When her gaze settled on the empty cage, Glowstrike immediately turned her head away.
Find a plan… which one? Of course, Chop Shop and Filch were on the job to retrieve the Book of Epistemus. They could also search for the Diamond and completely strip the Autobots.
Glowstrike couldn't help but sigh. She felt like she was fighting on two fronts. Fight the Autobots and fight Airachnid ...
Yes. The Sanctuary was threatened both inside and outside. She could not say which of these threats was the most dangerous to deal with.
But if she didn't watch over the people in the Sanctuary, no one else would. But ... watching over the Sanctuary, protecting it above all against the Autobots, against the Circle of Light ... it was more complicated than she had imagined.
She was about to close the door when Saberhorn locked it with one arm. He looked breathless, as if he had run.
"I have something that might interest you," said Saberhorn.
"A stolen artifact?" Glowstrike asked bitterly. "Because that's what could put me in a better mood right now."
"Sorry, my dear" laughed Saberhorn. "But ... I think you'll be interested anyway."
Glowstrike frowned. Saberhorn opened his chassis ... and pulled out a small vial.
Glowstrike approached to observe translucent green content. When she realized what he was talking about, no words came out of her mouth. She was speechless in front of the spectacle presented to her.
"... Synthetic energon?"
"It looks like Tarantulas has finished the recipe you asked him for," Saberhorn agreed. "This scoundrel still managed something."
"And we can reproduce it."
"We can reproduce it."
For the first time today, Glowstrike relaxed considerably and allowed herself to smile.
"We will no longer need to reduce rations."
"That is what I am saying."
Even if they still needed the artifacts, it was good news. The hunger at the Sanctuary was about to end. They could pass training and recruit a scientist who would reproduce Tarantulas' work.
Saberhorn laughed, reveling in their find. Glowstrike stared at him without a word.
Unlike previous times, it was she who initiated the gesture. She wrapped her arms around Saberhorn's neck. The latter, although a little surprised, gave her back an immediate hug, a happy expression on his lips.
Glowstrike did not reject him. Without measuring the time, they stayed in each other's arms, the firefly burying her face in the pirate's shoulderplate.
Then she stepped back, without detaching from him. She was aware of their current proximity. She knew it was not a good idea. Her optics met those of Saberhorn. Neither spoke for long minutes.
Then Glowstrike looked down at his lips. She wanted to be tempted. To be seduced. To stop pushing him away.
At least, to know if she would feel nothing as she expected ... or if, on the contrary, she would really feel something.
No more emotions. You will no longer feel anything.
Sometimes, she wanted to believe it was not true. In the end, she detached herself from Saberhorn, keeping the flask in servo.
"… Might as well celebrate that, you don't think."
"It was the idea I had in mind, my dear."
But far from Airachnid. Glowstrike let him in and closed the door behind them.