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Chapter 41

Tobias P.O.V

"Alright… I think we got it all." I say as I place the last box down in the room. The boxes are stacked up against the wall in my, I mean our guest room. I still can't believe that this day has finally come, Tris and I are finally living together! Sure, for some it seems like we are moving at lightning speed, but it really doesn't feel that way to us. It feels… right. Nothing has ever felt like this to me before. I know Tris feels the exact same way. Like we are the missing puzzle pieces in each other's lives, and we somehow just fit together perfectly. Now that we have found each other, we aren't willing to let this slip through our fingers.

Once I knew the only thing that was holding Tris back from moving in with me was because of e her lease… I couldn't help but to come up with a solution. I couldn't allow such a little thing keep us apart anymore.

We were lucky that Cara called and needed a place to stay when she did. Although yes, we will have to figure out what to do about the rent the last two months, seeing as Cara will only be leasing Tris' apartment for three months, but I suppose something is better than nothing.

I'm sure by that time we will have figured something out. Since the agreement between Tris and Cara was to leave the apartment furnished as is, along with the everyday essentials like towels and bed sheets and such…moving Tris into my place wasn't that bad. Of course Zeke would have been here to help us today if he didn't have to work a twelve hour shift. As for Shauna, she was really excited to hear the good news about us moving in together, but we wouldn't hear of her helping us in her delicate condition. I look up at Tris. Her gaze is focused on the boxes that surround us. I wonder if she is thinking the same thing I am right now...that I'm glad that she is here, glad that we were able to get this all done today. To be honest I wasn't really sure that we would get it all done in one day, but I'm happy we did.

"Hey, what's this?" I ask out loud, as my eyes land on a familiar trunk. For some reason, I can't help but reach out and caress the beautiful wood carving on the top of it, it looks so ancient and distinct. I can't recall why it looks familiar to me at the moment…but my curiosity gets the best of me, as I ask Tris what exactly it is. I don't want to seem too noisy, I want her to feel comfortable and at ease in our home. But something about this trunk has caught my interest, and I really can't help but ask her about it. I look up at Tris, who hasn't answered me yet, she seems a little dazed, as if she's not sure yet on how to answer me. This only makes me even more curious, what in the world could be in this thing anyway?

"My ancestors were involved in the war, they were even labeled as true heroes in it. I found this trunk in my parent's attic when they were selling their house, it contains some of their personal effects." Tris explains. But her explanation only make me more intrigued than ever before, because my grandfather always talked about the history of our city. Although he himself wasn't alive at that time, I was always amazed at the stories he would tell me about that time. More than half the city lost their lives as a war broke out amongst its citizens. Back when the city was cut up into six fractions… I can still hear my grandfather's voice explaining each faction to me. "Abnegation, for those that were selfless, they did public service for the entire city. Candor was known for their honesty, and kept legal order throughout the whole city. Erudite was the faction that stood for intelligence, they were responsible for the knowledge of just about everything in the city. Amity were considered to be our farmers, rumor has it they were even fed serum that made them all seem very happy and filled with joy. Dauntless was a faction for those that were brave and daring, they were in charge of keeping people safe and patrolling the entire city. Then there was the factionless, those that for one reason or another couldn't fit into your typical fraction… In today's society we would consider the factionless homeless."

The stories that my grandfather would share about our cities past were so captivating to me. He often told me that I should look for a woman that held the traits of all the factions. It held my interest for so long that I even ended up marking my back with the symbols of each faction. I can't explain why I did it, just that it felt like those symbols belonged there for some reason, and the meanings of each one was what I should strive to be in this world. I marked the rest of my back with the Dauntless flames, because I always imagined that if we were forced to choose a faction, I would have chosen Dauntless back in the day.

"Can I open it?" I ask, hoping she will say yes. She nods nervously. I ask her if she wants to go into the living room, hoping for a more comfortable setting to look at this. I am excited at the thought of being able to explore the contents that are inside this old trunk. I pick it up, being careful as though I might break the contents, in case anything happens to be fragile. Tris joins me sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch.

Tris opens the trunk slowly, allowing my eyes to explore it first. My eyes land on two urns within the trunk, I don't know if I should be surprised at my first finding. I lift the first urn, it feels off somehow, as if it is empty. My eyes examine the urn, it's a shiny gray, with three black ravens flying on it. Beautiful. Once again I am feeling something between a mixture of contentment and familiarity, but I quickly brush off the feeling as that really couldn't be a possibility. I place the urn down carefully on the floor, as I turn back to the trunk and reach for the second one. I instantly feel the difference between the weight in the two urns, this one appears to be heavier, it's obvious to me that this one is filled. I take in the design of it, this one has the same glossy gray color to it, but the design is certainly different than the first. The design on the second urn has black flames with two hands that cling together within the fire, on each hand there's a number. On one hand there's an etched blue number Six, while the other hand has a glistening gray number Four. Four? Well that's odd. The two urns are breathtaking. I carefully place them next to each other on the floor, feeling like they should be kept together. Interesting.

I move on to the other items in the trunk, I soon spot two gray journals, the first one has what looks to be recipes from that period of time, it's the same era I think. I quickly skim through the recipes as my curiosity once again takes over. The recipes seem to be simple and bland, they all seem to not use any seasonings within them. The other gray journal has words of wisdom and encouragement, about living a life where you practice being completely selfless. I come to the logical conclusion that these are items from the Abnegation sector, no doubt. Then I look over the many ribbons of honor, then I see some pieces of fabric that are faded from time gone by, a medal that is worn out and barely visible. The last thing I pull out of the trunk is a black journal. I once again feel this weird sensation running through me...a connection, a sense of ownership of some sort, as if somehow I have seen this black journal before. I shake off these strange feelings once again. I mean where would I have seen this journal or these two urns before, for that matter. The design on it, nearly matches the second urn, but it's flames are gray instead of black, and the flames sit on the cover, along with the two words...Be Brave.

Suddenly, I recall where I have indeed seen this journal before…I think back to when I was at Tris' apartment, helping her search for a book of some sort.

"So what are we here for?" I ask, leaning against the frame of her bedroom door.

"It's a book with different themes for planning a baby shower. I also need to grab some clothes." She says, I watch as she opens the bag that she brought with her, as she puts away its contents and packs new clothing instead. I continue to watch her as she mindlessly opens a drawer and packs up a few lacy bras. I smirk, wondering if she knows I am still here watching her.

I look around the room, hoping to help her find the book that she was originally looking for. My eyes land on a wooden trunk that is cracked open, something about it feels familiar to me. I can't resist the urge to lift the lid and look inside. I see two urns that catch my eye. Something about them... they're mesmerizing, as I take in the design of each one one, my eyes continue to land on the objects within the trunk. I spot a black leather journal, as my curiosity is about to win and I'm just about to reach for it... I hear the sob's from Tris echoing throughout the apartment, as she cries out asking who ever is here, "Are you sure?" The trunk and all of its contents are forgotten in their place.

Now at least I understand why this trunk feels so familiar to me. As I begin to shuffle through the pages of the journal, I notice that only the first four pages are written on, the other pages in the journal are left blank and unfinished. The pages are tinted yellow from being worn and from simply aging over time. "It's a personal journal. Umm... you should read it." Tris says, I was so lost in these artifacts that I forgot she was even here.

"We can read it together," I offer. I know she has probably already read this at some point, but still I would like to read it with her, after all it's her ancestors personal effects. She nods, as she shifts in her spot nervously. Why is she so nervous?

Suddenly two photographs fall out from behind the journal and they immediately catch my attention. I glance down at them, just as they fall into my lap. I am instantly taken aback from the close resemblance I see between the woman in these pictures… and Tris? What? How can this be? They look so much alike, it's uncanny. I take in every detail of both pictures needing to process this in my mind. Both photos are black and white with a yellow tint to them from the passage of time. I think to myself, that these really should be preserved in some kind of protective covering, because these pictures are absolutely priceless. The girl that looks like Tris, my Tris, looks very strong and fierce in these photos. I can see the fire in this Tris' eyes, she is filled with so much life, and you can see how brave and strong she really is. I look again at the photos, the first one she is smiling, and it looks as if she is laying on some kind of net. In the other photo she is standing in front of a board with a knife stuck in it, and it's only inches away from her head. Although she appears to be frightened, her eyes show just how truly alive she really is. Beautiful. I turn one of the photos over reading the faded blue ink that is written on it…I see the name Beatrice Prior, Dauntless. I look up at Tris, now being even more curious than I was before. What the fuck? How can they have the same name, and the same face? I need answers, I need to know how this is even possible.

"My Mother said that when my brother and I were born she had this strong desire to name us after Beatrice and her brother Caleb…. she couldn't explain why, it was just something that she felt really strong about, so she ended up naming us after them." Tris explains, answering my unspoken question. It's now my turn to be speechless, as I nod not knowing what exactly to say to her. I hold up the journal in my hands with my eyebrows risen, silently asking her if she wants me to in fact read the journal out loud, she nods, and then takes a deep breath as though she is preparing herself. For some reason she is apprehensive, I have no idea why. I open the cover of the journal, I begin to read the first entry out loud for the both of us to hear.

I am immediately drawn to the words that are written in the journal, I can really feel the sorrow and the heart wrenching grief from this person's loss. "I still long for one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more." I continue reading out loud, I find myself being able to relate to the words that were written. No doubt, if I ever lost Tris I would feel the exact same way. I continue reading the words of wisdom about how there is a fine line between being brave, and being selfless, I couldn't agree more with this person. "I can still picture the day that I saw her body first hit the net, all I registered was a gray blur. I pulled her across it, and her hand was small, but warm, and then she stood before me, short and thin, plain in all ways unremarkable, except that she had jumped first. The stiff had jumped first." The words continue to captivate me as I continue to read them. I can't imagine ever losing Tris the way that this man has lost his person. The grief, his broken heart… although Tris and I haven't been together long, our love and our connection runs very deep. I know that if some kind of tragedy did happen and I lost her, I would never be able to move on. At the end of the entry I stop reading, as I'm lost in thought…unable to help but think about how life must have been at that time. Being in love, caught up in a war, neither one able to commit to one another, and having no promise of tomorrow, because either one of them could die at any moment.

"Heart breaking isn't it?" Tris says, voicing her opinion, I couldn't agree more with her. I turn the page to the next entry, hesitating on whether or not I should read more of it, after all, this is someone's most private intimate thoughts. But for some reason, I just can't bring myself to close the journal. I feel very drawn to it, why I don't know.

"We didn't fall in love under normal circumstances. But there was never anything close to normal when it came to us." I continue reading, being sucked back in by this person's thoughts, and his heartbreaking words of grief. "I meant what I told her when we were both caught behind enemy lines. "You die, I die," were the words that pop out at me on the page, I can't imagine the heartbreak, the sorrow, and the terror that they must have gone through as a young couple. At any minute one of them could of been killed and taken away from the other, forever. Obviously that was the case here, so heartbreaking for them to have to go through this.

"She wasn't just pretty. No pretty wasn't enough, she was beautiful." I stop reading for a brief moment, I look up into the eyes that I love so much. The eyes that are filled with so much love, passion and devotion for me. I have always thought that Tris wasn't just pretty, she is so much more than that. Beautiful come to my mind when I think of her, again mirroring this man's thoughts exactly.

"I recall our short time that we spent on Amity grounds. She often had nightmares, from what I don't know, as she never shared them with me. Nightmares that haunted her dreams, things that we could not unseen in our own minds. But she always found comfort in my words and in my arms, that I was really grateful for. I often would tell her to sleep, that I would fight the bad dreams off if they came for her. I would tell her that I would fight them with my bare hands." What the fuck?

Flash back

Tris' screaming woke me from a dead slumber. Millions of thoughts hit me at once. Did they somehow find out where I live? Are they hurting her right now? Do they have any weapons? I reached into my closet and grabbed my baseball bat and made my way to Tris. Like hell will they hurt her again. But when I entered the spareroom ready to strike there was no real threat. Instead Tris' body was violently thrashing around, and she was still screaming. "Help! Help me!" She must be having a nightmare.

"Tris. Tris. Tris... Wake up!" I gently say while shaking her shoulders. Her eyes suddenly flit open looking straight at me. I hand her a bottle of water, she eagerly takes it from me.

"Bad dream?" She nods. "What happened?" I ask. Maybe it would make her feel better if she talks about it.

"I'm sorry, I woke you." She says instead, avoiding the question.

"Hey, don't apologize, you can't control your own nightmares. Plus you've been through hell," I say wanting to comfort her. "Why don't you get some more rest?" I suggest. She needs the rest. I can instantly see the panic and fear that she feels about going back to sleep in her eyes. It breaks my heart. I don't give it a second thought when I reach for a pillow and an extra blanket in the closet and make myself a makeshift bed right beside her. I will suffer a thousand nights on this hard ass floor if I never have to see that look on her face again.

"We're all right, you know. You and me. I won't let anyone hurt you again. Ok?" I promised her. She nods, understanding.

"I don't mean to be such a mess." She finally says. I hate that this is what she is worried about. I don't care that she is a mess, I don't care that she is bruised. I just want to help her and keep her safe. I want to be here for her.

"It's wrong. What they did to you... It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have happened to you. I'm here for you... for as long as it takes," I tell her. I proceed to lay down on my back and then I reach out taking her hand in mine. I gently give her hand a squeeze, hoping it will comfort her. "Sleep. I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you." I say to her with humor.

"With what?" She says, with a small chuckle.

"My bare hands, obviously." I jokingly say. But in all honesty I do mean it. I lay there losing all track of time. The only sound in the room is her peaceful breathing. I eventually let sleep take me. Never letting go of her hand.

End of flashback

My hands close the journal, I can't believe what I have just read… how is this even possible? The exact same words that came out of my mouth to help comfort Tris from her nightmares, are the same words this man used on the love of his life for the exact same reason. Did I hear that saying from some other place before? Did I somehow hear it, and use it myself, thinking it was original?

"Keep going. Don't stop." Tris says, her voice is tense, and it sounds very emotional. I wonder if she too had these similar thoughts running through her mind and if she was as confused as I am. I mean, she knows I said that same sentence to her before. What did she think when she first read it in the journal? Maybe that's why she wants me to read it with her, she wants to show this all to me now, so we can talk about it together. I take a deep breath, nodding my head as I reopen the journal and turn the page to the second entry and continue reading out loud for the both of us.

"Although I never knew the true meaning behind the nightmares... I often found myself comforting her with my words of reassurance. I would tell her that we were all right. Her and I. Nothing else was, but we were." I continue reading the words written in ink. I am once again placing Tris and I in their shoes, thinking about what it would of been like at that time in their city's history, the torment that they both felt, the danger that they experienced, and all the heartbreak that they went through together at the time.

"At that time serums were made and used for different things. A serum was created to control us, to make us perform at the bidding of others. I was sent to kill the woman I loved most in this world. The woman that posed a threat to end the war, before it would even begin. To this day, I believe that her voice was what woke me up from the spell that I was under from the serum that they gave me. I nearly killed her that day. I almost shot her. I didn't understand at the time why she didn't shoot me instead, not even when she told me that shooting me would have been like shooting herself." The thought of being forced or being brainwashed to murder Tris in cold blood, sends shivers down my spine. I can't fathom the thought, I start to feel the bile rise in my throat as I imagine Tris and I fighting, holding a gun to her head and then pulling the trigger at anytime. "There is not one day that goes by that my heart doesn't feel the ache of her loss. Many said it would get easier, many said the heartache would subside... but they were wrong." I look up at Tris as the words on the paper come to an end, I see her wiping away the few tears that have fallen down her beautiful cheeks.

I turn the page to the third entry, clearing my voice as I prepare myself to continue. "I told her that she was too important to just... die. But she would never believe me. She thought I would be just fine without her." It's really interesting how both Beatrice Prior's not only look alike, but act alike in so many ways. This is just so damn crazy, I can't even wrap my head around this. I know for a fact that Tris would sacrifice herself if need be for anyone that she cared about, or even a stranger that was in trouble for that matter. She is truly selfless, just like this Beatrice.

"When I first lost her, the first few days... my cowardly ways came up with the memory serum as a solution. I wanted to forget everything...her, the pain that would never end, my past that had left me broken. But I was told that the person that she made me into was worth being. She would have hated it, hated me for erasing who she made me to be. She was gone, but what was left of her was our memories. She deserved to be remembered." I take a large lungful of air, as I continue to read on…"As the years passed, there have been other distractions, but I never allowed it to be more than just what it was, a distraction. For there could never be another her." Again, I can't agree more with this man. There would never be another Tris for me, in my heart and deep down in my soul no one could ever replace her.

I turn to the next page, preparing myself to read the last and final entry. My eyes land on the specks of blood that are present on the worn out paper on this last entry. I wonder if we will ever find out the reasons for it being there. "To My beloved Beatrice," I continue. "For awhile, I had lost myself in the hatred that I had carried for Caleb, from all the anger that I felt from his constant betrayal against you. But I knew better, I knew you couldn't have just allowed him to be delivered to what should and could have been his execution. You were too selfless and brave to have allowed anyone you loved to be taken from this life, even if it meant giving up your own life. It was something I both loved and hated about you at the time. Though I tried, I knew I couldn't hold it against you." So is that what happened to this...this Beatrice? She sacrificed herself to save her own brother. She was so brave to do that, even though she lost her own life in the process.

"Our last morning together, everything came so easily, every smile, every laugh, every word and every emotion. I spent the past decade ensuring that your sacrifice wasn't wasted. "My Love," it has not. This city has lost and yet has gained. The people have lost, but have lived. Because of you, Beatrice. Because of your bravery and your selfless ways."

"I love you too, I'll see you soon." Those were the last words I had spoken to you, and now as I am ready to leave this world, I pray that you will accept me for my cowardly ways and receive me into your loving embrace. For I have lived a decade without you, and can no longer see myself continuing this life without the one person I loved, and still love most in this world." I am simply at a loss, as I continue to read these heart-wrenching words, I can see and feel his pain, the agony is present in each and every one of his words.

"I always told you two words that have always seemed to push you, and I'll say them to you one last time: Be brave, my love. I am yours and you are forever mine. It has been that way all along and it will continue to be forever. Tobias"

The journal falls from my shaking hands, as I see the name on what I can only describe as a suicide letter. The name that not only is his, but matches my own. Does this mean what I think it means? How is this even possible? My mind feels like it's spinning out of control, as it processes this new information that I have just read, but not knowing what it all means. What I want it to mean. How can this man have my name? What the fuck? I just don't get it!

For some strange reason, my thoughts go back to the day that I told my parents about Tris. The day that I broke the news to them that I had indeed met someone else, while still being engaged to Christina. After explaining the whole situation to both of them, my mother had told me her own opinion about her thoughts about my relationship with Tris. "Soulmates." She whispered to me, I think in a way she was in shock herself. "It's rare, but it does happen, Tobias. Soulmates...it's this mutual bond, a strong connection between two people. It's that one other person that completes you. It's like an intimate connection on a whole other level. You have probably crossed paths in another lifetime."

Without thinking I run my hand across my mouth, and then I stand up and begin to pace around the room as I contemplate all of this. I wonder what Tris' reaction was when she first read the journal? She must have had some kind of opinion, I'm sure she had to be a little confused about all of this like I am right now, right? I mean I can't be the only one with these runaway thoughts, can I? I continue pacing, my mind running at lightning speed… I don't understand how any of this could even be possible? Tris, my Tris, looks exactly like Beatrice in the pictures, they even have the same name for crying out loud. Then there are those words, the same words that I used to comfort my Tris the night that she was attacked when her nightmares continued to haunt her. The same words were used in the same context when this man comforted his Beatrice. What the fuck? How can this be? Then there's the last entry, my name is the same as his name...the man that wrote this journal. Tobias isn't even a common name, not many people have it, I just don't get any of this. My mind continues to compare the two couples, Beatrice and Tobias were together, just like I am together with my Tris. I can't even begin to understand what this all means. Then I think back to when I was first reading the journal and Tris had tears in her eyes that were running down her face, it was then that she told me that she wanted me to read the journal, because obviously she had so many questions herself and needed to speak to someone about all of this. No, not just someone, she needed to speak to me about all of this, and now I know why. I turn back towards Tris, she wipes a few more tears from her eyes, as my mind continues to spin out of control from absorbing the new found information that I just discovered.

I suddenly have this urge to see the journal again, to feel it in my hands one more time, to make sure that what we just read is indeed real or if it's even possible. I bend down to pick it up, I instantly feel all these strong emotions running through me at once, sorrow, grief, but what's strange is I mostly feel love the moment I have the journal back in my hands. As the distance between the floor and the journal increases, a folded worn out card of some sort slips out from the back of the binding. I glance at Tris, her expression mirrors my own, she too has no idea what this card could be, so she slowly reaches out with her trembling hand and picks it up from the floor where it had just dropped. She then waits, gesturing for me to sit down next to her before she opens it. Without saying a single word I take a seat next to Tris. I nod my head gesturing for her to go ahead and open it. We take a deep breath at the same time as our nerves suddenly get the best of us. Tris finally unfolds the card at a torturous pace and just like the pages from the journal...what was once a white card, is now tinted yellow from the passage of time. It reads as follows:

Celebration of Life

In Loving Memory of

Beatrice Prior

A.K.A

Tris Prior

Date: March 9th Time: 12:00 PM

Location: The roof of the Hancock building

We will be gathering here to celebrate the life of Tris Prior, who we all loved and lost two years ago.

Memories and heartfelt stories of our loved one

will be shared prior to the last ride down the zip line, during which time we will set Tris' ashes free. I ask that you all come prepared for your last zip line ride through out our city

as we set free the person we all knew and loved. Zip lining was one of the many things that brought joy to Tris' life. A life gone too soon! A life that will never be forgotten!

A/N

Stay tuned for the next update: February 8th

This chapter was brainstormed with FDFobsessed

This chapter was beta approved by Dimpls742

Like always, happy reading everyone!

Trini