Claudia wanted to run. She wanted to hide and to just disappear from this world. But none of these things were possible. Her legs felt too heavy to even walk and since she had yet to explore Roma, she had still not found a place where she could hide for a few moments to just gather her thoughts.
No, she was lost and alone and most of all, broken-hearted.
It had been more than a month now, and she had woken up this morning and wondered if she should just go to the Doctor and confirm what she now already knew. She didn't need the Doctor to tell her anymore; for some odd reason, she knew. She knew she was pregnant.
Claudia stopped and squeezed a tear out of her eye. The people around her were strangers and the place she was in was unknown to her. She had nowhere to go and nowhere to hide.
"You are pregnant." The Doctor had told her carefully and then backed away from her as she got down from the table. She hadn't bothered to spare him even a glance or a word. She had just, very quietly, left.
They were going to kill him.
Claudia uttered a sob and then started to run. There had to be somewhere she could hide just for a few hours, minutes even. When she still didn't see any place where she could be alone for a while, she started to cry harder and that's when she saw the entrance of a tunnel.
Wiping her tears, she made her way to it, opened it and walked inside. It was dark and musty, but a few more steps ahead, brought her to a low table where candles and matches had been kept- just like Machiavelli had told her.
She picked up a candle and lit it. Up ahead, she saw several passages and picked the left one. She wasn't even thinking anymore as more and more paths came up. She kept taking up random ones, until she got tired and knew she was going around in circles.
Then she found a corner beside a large doorway and sat down, huddling up her knees and leaning her head against the wall.
She was pregnant. She was going to be a Mother. She had a child inside of her.
Holding back her tears, she started to pull on the hem of her sleeve, found a loose thread sticking out and twirled it around her finger before snapping it.
The words repeated in her mind again and she found herself imagining her life after the child was born. What kind of her life would he or she have? The Assassins would forever brand her child as the child of a traitor and out of the Order, the people would look at her as a woman who had a child after her marriage was over. News would quickly spread that her husband had cheated on her and her name and her child's identity would be tarnished forever.
And her Mother! What would she want for her? Would she let her keep the child or ask her to….
Claudia couldn't finish her thought as more tears pricked her eyes. But she wouldn't allow herself to cry anymore. What was the point anyway? No, she would have to pluck up the courage and face her problems head on, no matter how dire the situation was.
With this resolve came a new thought. She did have a choice- she could leave this place. She could leave the Order too. There had to be somewhere she could go where no one knew her and she could start her life anew.
She would be away from Machiavelli and never see him again….
Her breathing became heavier as she thought about never even seeing him again. Swallowing, she blinked away her tears. But she would learn to live without him too.
Somewhere in the distance she had the dripping of water and then minutes later, the squeak of a mouse. She spread her fingers and counted the places she could go. Everyone knew her in Firenze, so not there. Roma was completely out of the question. She could go to Venezia, but no, Antonio probably still had his spies and thieves there. Toscana was close to Monteriggioni and she wanted to be as far as possible away from anyone she knew. Then where would she go?
Further down the caves, she heard the creaking of a gate opening and pushed herself closer into the corner. Whoever it was, she hoped she wouldn't be noticed. The last thing she wanted was for La Volpe to find her here and then remind her of her situation. Laying her chin on her crossed arms, she sighed.
There was no place else she knew where she could raise her child…all alone. And then one day when her child grew up and asked her who the Father was?
Claudia bit her lip hard, trying hard to suppress her tears.
The footsteps came closer and she heard another door open. The light of a lantern cast its light on the darkened floor and she held up her candle, which was now slowly burning away.
Her heart stopped when she saw him enter with his head bowed and looking lost in his own thoughts. He held the lantern casually in his hand and when he walked past her, she released her breath, glad to not have been noticed.
But then he stopped by the arched doorway and turned, surprised at first and then slowly his expressions turned to hurt and then anger.
"What are you doing here?" he asked gruffly.
Claudia let the remains of her candle fall into the ground and blinked back her tears. The last thing she needed was to wail in front of him.
For a second she wondered what it would be like to tell him that she was pregnant with his child. What would he say? Would he still walk away?
Then she remembered seeing him kiss Marietta and felt as if she had been slapped hard in the face. This man had cheated on her and all she felt for him was anything but contempt. Her heart still beat faster whenever she saw him and she hated herself for that.
Machiavelli shook his head and then smiled to herself. "Let me guess, you're hiding again." He said bitterly, his smile vanishing and replaced with a scowl.
She could only stare up at him and say nothing. Just seeing him after so long was making her heart flutter with intense feelings. She wanted to get up and embrace him and wanted him to tell her not to worry and that everything was going to be alright.
"I see you've lost your voice again." His words were acerbic. "That isn't surprising at all."
He seemed to be waiting for her to respond but her voice wouldn't leave her throat. She could only stare at him and see only hurt on his face. His words were sharp and bitter, but he looked like a man hurt badly that had left him completely defeated. His shoulders were no longer stiff, but slightly drooped and the confidence in his brown eyes was faltering.
His gait wasn't confident anymore but hesitant. He looked like he had lost himself and Claudia turned her head away from him. She was cajoling herself again. He was probably tired from his excursions and nothing else. She was only trying to convince herself that he was as hurt as she was and that would mean that there was still a chance for them.
"These are my tunnels. I found them and I cleared them up." He said. "By the time I get back, I want you gone." He walked away in a huff and she could hear his quickened footsteps echoing through the tunnels. Then she heard a gate open and slammed shut.
Claudia jumped when she heard the loud clang of metal and then eased leaned her head on the wall. She had to make a decision of what she wanted to do with her pregnancy. The idea of leaving her family and the people she knew, was making her nauseous, but the fact that these very people would scorn her and her child, made her feel melancholic.
She closed her eyes. It was dark and damp here in the tunnels. She knew there were more matches and candles, but had no energy or desire to get up from her comfortable position and get them.
Sleep must have finally come to her, for when she woke up, she could hear noises above her of people selling their goods. It was either morning or just before sunset, she couldn't tell how much time had passed. All she knew was that it had been quiet when she had first entered the tunnels.
She stretched her legs and decided that she did need the candle after all. She started to get up and brushed her hand over something and winced. Letting out a small cry, she felt the back of her hand pricking as if she had brushed it against a blade. Blade- the word sent an image to her mind of the recruits lying slaughtered in the tower.
Claudia leaned her head back again. On second thoughts, she didn't need the candle or any sort of light. She was happy being where she was where no one knew where she was. If she stayed her long enough, perhaps all her bad memories would leave her as well and disappear into the darkness.
She heard grumbling as a gate opened and closed and sat up straight. It was him. There was no doubt about that as his footsteps came closer.
He hesitated by the doorway and then entered, throwing the light of his lantern at the corner and at her.
Claudia shielded her eyes from the brilliance and then turned her head away.
"You're still here?" He asked. "You are pathetic, do you know that?"
Claudia cringed at his words, but had no wish to get into an argument with him. If she remained silent, perhaps he would vent out his feelings and then leave her alone.
"The Assassins are in great hands if they are to be commanded by you. As their leader, the Assassins are already doomed." He taunted. "Because here you are, hiding away from the world when you should be out there making a difference for mankind."
He was obviously waiting for her to retaliate, but she wouldn't give in to him. She thought she had heard pain in his voice instead of derisiveness, but of course, that must be her imagination. He was probably happy to be rid of her and be with Marietta.
"I'm surprised you didn't find a tower to wallow in." he chided. "You used to like high places. Then again, I don't really know you."
Claudia chewed on the inside of her lip, wishing her would stop torturing her with his words.
"I want you to get out of my tunnels, right this instant!" he raised his voice.
Claudia hugged her knees tighter and looked down at her lap. In a few minutes he would walk away and she could continue to feel miserable in peace.
"Are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Machiavelli had never spoken like this and she was nervous about this side of him. He was usually calm and collected but now it was as if he had transformed into a completely different person she didn't know.
"I thought you were mute, but clearly you're deaf as well." He seemed more frustrated than angry now. "Alright, if you won't leave, then I'll make you."
She did cower then when he put down his lantern and came to her. Before she could understand what was happening, he was picking her up and carrying her through the tunnels. She hung onto his coat, not knowing whether to cry or scream.
When they reached the gate, he kicked it open and she expected to be blinded by the brilliance of sunlight, instead she found it was dusk and they were in the center of the Il Campidoglio. She barely had a chance to see her surroundings as he made her sit on one of the benches.
She blinked up at him and he looked even more annoyed with her. He started to leave, when he looked down at her.
"You're bleeding." He stated. "So careless of you."
Claudia touched her stomach and then realized he was talking about her hand. She looked at the thin line of blood trailing down her hand and was about to wipe it on her robes, when he caught it and sat down beside her.
Removing a handkerchief from his pocket, he began to tie it around her hand. "Tipico. Your carelessness knows no bounds. You're impulsive, prejudiced and stubborn." He knotted one end tightly and Claudia winced at the pressure, but he paid her no heed.
"Not to mention your lack of judgment skills. In your desire to make decisions quickly, you always make the wrong ones." He pulled the ends of the handkerchief and made another knot, tying that tight as well causing her to let out another gasp.
"I was right all those years ago when I told your Uncle not to let you become an Assassin, for you do not possess the skills to become a great one." He dropped her hand and Claudia winced. "You're at best just a mediocre substitute."
Claudia felt the last few words cut sharply through her. A substitute? Was that what she was to him while he was away from Marietta?
"Incapable and reckless." He said bitterly and started to get up when she caught his hand. She didn't know why she did that and what she intended to tell him considering her voice had left her for good. But the fact that he was walking away from her yet again was throwing her in agony. Regardless of his words, she had seen only the opposite in his eyes and she couldn't let him go without knowing for sure.
He appeared to be struggling inwardly with his emotions and ready to scream at her, but he did not. He put his hand over hers. "Don't look at me like that." He pushed her hands away and stepped back. "Especially when you don't mean it."
He left then and Claudia felt a coldness settle upon her heart.