"Would you look at this parking lot..." Sasori gawked after picking up his jaw as they he pulled up to Deidara's elementary school. There wasn't a parking space in sight! Sure he knew the place was a mad house when the kids got out of class, but this was just ridiculous! He wasn't the the only one gawking, or fussing.

"This is the worst!" The person in the passenger seat huffed, "I told you we should have left sooner!"

Glaring to the side, Sasori tightened his grasp at the steering wheel and growled lowly, "Konan..."

In the back seat, Pain popped his head up smiling and leaned forward, "Great! Does this mean we can go home now?"

Both Sasori and Konan whipped their heads around angrily, growling in unison, "No!"

Konan angry because she wouldn't dream of missing this after Deidara so kindly invited her; all sweet, shy and polite. It was so cute! Sasori angry because like hell he was going to hear the little brat cry and whine that they went and missed it. Not to mention he'd get an earful from Katsuya if there wasn't a video of the performance. That would be quite the horror.

Hissing, Pain slumped back into his seat with his arms crossed. He huffed and tapped his feet a few times as they continued to search for a parking spot, "This blows... Why do I even have to be here? Deidara clearly doesn't even like me."

Konan scoffed and rolled her eyes, "More like he's scared of you -"

"And you clearly don't like him." Sasori finished off.

"Doesn't answer my question." Pain hissed and glanced out the window, "So what, do we park down the street and walk the rest of the way to the school?"

"I guess so." Sasori sighed, finally giving up looking for a parking spot. "Man... wish we had left sooner."

"Told you~"

Sasori glared at Konan for taunting him, "You know, you're not being very helpful."

He knew he should have left her at home. Why did Deidara even have to invite her? Wasn't the performance for family only in the first place? Why was Pain even dragged along? God he lived up to his nickname- Pain!

Walking together to the school with their scarves pulled up past their noses to keep warm, the three gave the ticket holder their prepaid tickets, paid courtesy of Katsuya so he could boast and show off his perfect baby, and entered the packed gym full of people and chairs. Twinkling lights illuminated the walls and a decorated stage with bleachers that stood as the main attraction; a winter wonderland themed back drop and many decorations such as fake Christmas trees and and an inflated snowman were currently not the only things present. The place was certainly decked out for a public school.

"Would you look at all the people!" Pain groaned, feeling a little claustrophobic especially when he heard a baby in the crowd cry and another child squeal loudly. "This is hell!"

Konan grunted and elbowed her boyfriend, "Watch the potty language, you're in a school full of kids!"

Before Pain could hiss back at her, Sasori quickly butt in. "Don't worry you guys. Kakuzu said he'd save us a spot so we just have to find him."

Pain rolled his eyes again and recoiled as someone bumped into him, "And just how are we going to find one man in this huge crowd?"

"Sasori!" A voice called making the trio turn around to see Kakuzu standing behind them.

How convenient!

"Hey Kakuzu! So nice to see you." Sasori smiled, truly meaning it as he was beginning to panic just a little as well. These crowds were quite daunting. "Thanks for saving us a spot."

"Don't worry about it. I just got a mom to snag a few extra seats." Kakuzu spoke while carefully leading them ever so slowly as they weaved in and out through the crowd. Standing in the crowd any longer was surely no good for anyone!

"Thank you Kakuzu."

Taking their seats, Konan made quick friends with the mother who had been protecting her saved section. While they talked about what Sasori could only assume were 'woman things', Pain leaned over,

"Damn that mom is haaawt~ What a milf!"

Before Sasori could dig himself a grave like his friend had, a man standing near them leaned in and got closer, "I'm so glad you find my wife so attractive."

Both young men turned in horror at the sight of a taller and older man glaring down their nose at them... Of course she came with her husband!

"S-sorry sir..." Pain whimpered, eyes glued to his shoes.

"Boys? What's wrong?" Konan called out as she caught on to her boyfriends increasing sense of doom.

"No-othing!" Pain yelped, his voice cracking as he shuffled as fast as possible, shoving Sasori out of his seat to change spots so he could sit next to his girlfriend and away from the angry older man behind him. "I LOVE you babe."

Konan quirked her head and simply accepted the kind gesture, "I love you too?"

The trio was needless to say amazed at the flawless seating of second row-centre. Prime seating at its finest as they got perfect view of the stage. There seated amongst the saved seats was Kakuzu, who had now had finished his task of finding Sasori was now quietly looking at a little program.

"Hey Kakuzu!" Sasori called out to his friend over the loud crowd, "These seats are great, she must have gotten here before the school doors even opened."

Kakuzu scoffed, "You should be thanking tiger-mom Mikoto for the seats who got here at one o'clock just to stand in line."

Whipping his head around he gaped at the woman who stood proud at her accomplishment while her husband took his own seat picking up his phone to glare at it.

"There isn't anything more fearsome than a cop for a father and a tiger for a mom." Kakuzu chuckled as he noted the duo.

Pain gawked and held his girlfriend a little tighter as he looked at the man. He swallowed hard as he caught him glaring at him yet again. A cop was someone you didn't want to mess with and unfortunately Pain already had.

"Again sir, sorry sir..." He mumbled quietly, head tucked in like a turtle.

Sasori smirked as he moved around, making a better place next to Kakuzu in the middle of the large group. Why? Because three of those seats were labeled 'best seats in the house for taking personal home movies' as told by Mikoto as well as Kakuzu themselves. Apparently neither of them were about to miss taking home videos of their babies; and neither was Sasori.

Purely by Katsuya's demand though. Not because Sasori even had an inkling to want to look back and watch his little brat sing his heart out.

Speaking of which... Would Deidara even sing? Let alone his little heart out? Sure the boy sang around the house and out in public all the time, but recalling how Deidara handled every new and uncomfortable situation, it made Sasori question the little blonds ability to go on stage and not

1. Cry

2. Pee himself in terror

See Danna and run off stage for hugs. Fall to the floor into a fetal position

Leaning to the side closer to Kakuzu, Sasori rubbed under his nose, "Just... Just how well does Deidara handle being in a concert?"

Kakuzu sighed and put his program down, "To be honest? The Christmas Concert last year he was... Well he was rigid as a board and refused to sing, just stood there like he was going to die."

"Ah..."

"We don't talk about that day around him."

"But during his time with you, Deidara has gained a lot of self confidence in, well, fighting with you. Plus, now that it's been another year of life, you can't help but blame all the smothering attention he gets. When that kid gets older his ego will be so inflated he'll probably up and float away."

Sasori snorted as he couldn't help but nod away in agreement. Kakuzu in turn saw the reaction and raised an eye roll at the blatant hypocrisy that was being exuded by the redhead. If there were two people he knew with larger than life egos, it was Sasori. It was his way, his opinion; or nothing. And Deidara was now no different.

Kakuzu had also once been very similar, in fact was still like that quite a bit. However over time he had learned to have a little leeway in life when he first became a big brother. Then getting Hidan? You have got to be flexible with a boy like that or you will never get your rental deposit back. Still, "You're probably the biggest influence though Sasori."

"Hm?"

"Yeah, the fact you can drag Deidara back to reality, even a little bit by calling him out on his bullshit clearly has made him realize the needs to change."

Sasori hummed, "Is that... so."

"Excuse me everyone!" A round woman said in a overtly sappy voice from the microphone on the stage, "We will starting any moment now so if you'll please take your seats."

Quickly the audience formed into an orderly group as they took their seats; some readying their cameras for the show.

"All right now everyone~ I would like to warmly welcome you all to the Konoha Elemantary School Christmas Concert!" She spoke up again now having everyone's attention. "We will be going grade by grade and we strongly encourage you to stay for the whole duration of the show." Pointing below the stage she gestured to two poinsettia plants with a tinsel rope, "Please do not go beyond the floral and tinsel arrangement. I know you want to capture your beloved child at their moment in the spotlight, but we can't have hundreds of parents and other family members rushing in like the paparazzi!" She laughed. "I now present you our music teacher, Iruka!"

The audience clapped as the woman finally shut up and out came a fairly young adult with a handful of music books.

Taking the microphone he spoke in a cheerful voice, "I as well welcome you to this merry evening. Like you, I too am looking foreword to this year as my own child will be taking part. In fact- let's have a warm welcome to our kindergarteners!"

Mikoto and Fugaku went bonkers as they stood up, ready to film their little boy.

There he eventually came out, following the trail of a peppy blond who was far more focused on blowing the music teacher kisses and getting his general attention than following the kids that were in front of him.

"Maybe blonds are stupid..." Sasori grumbled as he watched the boy behind him step on the back of the boys shoes sending him to the floor.

Unlike his blond, this one got up fast and went running to catch up to the rest of the line. His blond would have for sure-

"Hey Sas, betcha your brat kid woulda bawled his eyes out after a fall like that~" Pain laughed as he reached over his girlfriend to smack his friend's knee.

"Hrnnnn." Both groaned, clearly not impressed at the dig at Deidara.

Not that Pain was wrong, they were all thinking the same thing after all.

All lined up and ready to go, the teacher sat at a nearby piano and played a merry little tune by the name of Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer. To the side was another teacher making small dance-like gestures for the children to follow along to.

Sure there were a large majority of little ones frozen in their place while they sang, some that only danced, but there were few that did both. Two boys caused many snickers as they tried to out sing and out dance one another, glaring at each other hard in the process.

Fugaku buried his face into his hands. Why couldn't his youngest just move with grace like his eldest? Mikoto on the other hand was delighted to see her son so into doing his performance. He had better be! They didn't do all that practicing for nothing!

"YOU'LL GO DOWN IN HIS-TO-RYYY~"

The crowd erupted in cheers as the teeny tiny little kindies finished singing their song. It was just too cute. So cute it sent Mikoto and Konan in a frenzy as they gave all the small cuties a standing ovation.

Pain stared at his girlfriend and groaned while Sasori simply raised a brow. Konan was such a weirdo. Were all women seriously this interested in kids? No, there had to be women out there that would be just as happy with a pet in place of a child. They were similar creatures of habit, right?

"Thank you our dear Kindergartners!" Iruka called out into the microphone as the kids walked off stage after giving their big bow. "That was truly a song that filled our hearts with glee. You kids will go down in history!"

"Awww!" The crowed cooed.

Sasori quickly adjusted his phone, Konan and Kakuzu following after, ready for what was next.

"Coming as our second performance of the evening, we present you with our first graders singing, Jingle Bells!"

Kakuzu grumbled in his seat catching Sasori's attention, "What's wrong?"

"I just really hope Hidan doesn't sing Jingle Balls... or how Batman smells... like he's been practicing at home."

Konan giggled, "That sounds so like him!"

Glaring at the woman, Kakuzu grumbled some more, "you don't even know my little boy... you know nothing, stranger..."

"Hm?"

"Oh nothing!" Sasori butt in, knowing Kakuzu was sensitive about this subject of being all that his little Hidan needed. "Just enjoy the show Konan."

Walking out on the stage were some of the happiest wavers out there yet as the kids searched for their parents making sure they were seen.

Hidan was spotted first, taking less than confident strides and he held Deidara's hand. That wasn't a good sign as one of the main points of entering the stage was to be row by row based on height. Hidan would be in the back, Deidara in the front. The fact Deidara came out before his row made Sasori nervous already.

All on the stage, Iruka sat at the piano and spoke one last time into the microphone, "We now present you, Jingle Bells."

"Dashing through the snow~ inna one horse open sleigh~" the children sang, all dressed in a red shirts, singing their little hearts out and dancing their cute little dance.

All but one.

Unfortunately Kakuzu was wrong when he mentioned the chance of Deidara changing from the year prior and being able to sing on stage instead of being as stiff little board. Yet again, the boy stood there looking like the audience was going to eat him alive.

Sasori raised a hand and slapped his forehead at this. Of course Deidara would be like this! Of course! Yes, when you need Deidara to not sing he sings, when given the perfect platform to sing, he freezes up. How could Deidara sing in the grocery store at the top of his lungs and not sing here? The shoe store? Even the library! Just not while on stage!

The song ended with the kids giving a little bow, excluding a frozen Deidara, and they all exited the stage, Hidan cautiously leading his friend off by the hand.

"We came all the way here to see him do that?" Pain whispered, unimpressed with the performance.

Konan was swift to jab her elbow into his side, turning off his phone in the process, "He probably saw your scary mug and got scared!"

"...meanie."

Class after class went by. Mikoto and her husband cheered as their older child sang 'Silent Night', hitting the note flawlessly as they were all adorned in white. Then the classes went on, song after song.

Finally the concert came to an end with Sasori hiding his face in embarrassment as he heard some people nearby, giggling about the scared little blond during jingle bells. Soon parents left with their kids and the room emptied little by little. Mikoto and Fugaku left to find their kids and then afterwards went home. Things didn't benefit the younger adults until Hidan came running, latching himself to Konan's legs until she swooped him into the air with her mighty warrior arms.

"Come back stage! Back stage!" He called out to the group excitedly. "Deidara is with Mr. Iruka!"

Sasori groaned as he stood up, "Figures."

Back stage, Deidara sat beside the Music teacher, sucking sadly on a candy cane with the little blond kindergartener that fell on stage. It certainly didn't take him long to see his Danna, that's for sure.

"DANNA!" Deidara screamed, not even lunging for a leg as he took a leap of faith right through the air, right into Sasori's arms.

Which he didn't appreciate.

"Yikes, you Brat!"

"Danna that was so scary!"

Standing up, Iruka outstretched his hand, "Hello, I am Deidara's music teacher. You may be wondering about the performance."

"To be honest, not really..." Sasori groaned as he juggled a squirmy boy and a handshake. "I have a good inclination as to what this brat put you and the other children through. Congrats on getting him on the stage in the first place."

"It was no problem. Hidan was such a wonderful little helper!" Iruka gushed, praising Hidan making him smile from ear to ear. Kakuzu couldn't be more proud of his boy as he pinched his little face. "I didn't want a repeat of last year where he was stiff as a board and then cried his little heart out backstage for half an hour."

Upon hearing this, Deidara immediately became embarrassed. How dare his beloved music man tell such embarrassing stories of when he was little!

"Nnnnoooo!" Deidara finally shriked, having had enough of this. "No more! Danna doesn't need to hear bamberrasin stories of me when I was littler!"

"Honestly I see no difference of you then and you now."

"Danna! So rude..."

After the concert and a long walk back to Sasori's car, with much whining from Deidara, the group met up again with Kakuzu and Hidan at a local family run restaurant. The prices were reasonable and the atmosphere was warm and cozy. Against one wall was even a piano piled high with ornaments and figures, against another was a large cabinet filled with even more antiques. In the corner was its own tree. If the old antiques, wooden plank floors, and old silk flowers weren't enough, the added Christmas decorations really put it over the top.

After being seated and served their Christmas themed meals, they all began to talk amongst themselves. What they were doing for the holidays, what they wished to get, when Pain would finally get it together and put the snow tires on...

Yes, while they did that, Deidara instead sat sulking, Hidan being far too enamored in his angel Konan to focus on him anymore. This meant Deidara was left alone with one thing and one thing only; his internal thoughts.
These peas were kinda mushy. This gravy on his potatoes though? Delicious! And the cranberry jelly was so sweet and sour it was like candy. He even got a soda with his meal! Something wasn't right though, something tasted off. This was supposed to be a great reward for singing jingle bells, but something was strange. It shouldn't be too much to dwell on. What about the next one? Probably next year. Would he get to sing to Jingle Bells next time? Wait...

"The songs change..." he grumbled quietly, eyeing up his dinner with furrowed brows. "They won't get to hear me...sing...Jingly Bells..."

"Hm?" Sasori grunted as he heard mumbling across the table, "what's up-"

"EEEEEYAGH!" Deidara shrieked as he burst into tears, fist meeting the middle of his dinner plate as he threw his head back.

Of course this caught everyone's attention; EVERYONE as the whole restaurant searched for the what sounded like a dying little girl. Whatever they were hearing, it was terrible and it needed to stop!

Sasori of course quickly jumped into action, leaping up from the table bumping it and shoving Kakuzu right out of his way as he swooped Deidara into his arms to get him to shut up as quickly as possible.

"Shhhhhh! Shhhhhh! What's going on? Why are you crying? Shhhhh!"

"Waaaaah!"

"Don't cry now, the concerts over now. You don't need to be scared!"

Dry heaving a few times, Deidara was quickly ready to spit out a few more hearty cries. Of course to everyone's dismay as murmurs of 'spoiled brat' being tossed around from every corner of the room, other customers sending dirty looks and calling over waitresses, asking them to 'shut the kid up'.

He was working on it!

"Why! Why are you crying?"

"B-b-b-because I didn't gedda sing tha Jingles!"

"You can sing that at home!"

"But not a performance! Not for a big crowd! I don't deserve dinnnerr! I deserve to staaarve, unnn!"

"You didn't want to sing in front of the crowd- Wait, just sing it in front of us at home then and stop crying!"

Sasori glared at the restaurant that still grumbled angrily at the sight and awful sound. Deidara wanted to make a spectacle with his voice in a crowd did he? Well, wasn't he doing that now?

"Nnnnnooo!"

"Shut that kid up!"

Sasori glared viciously as he heard the strange yell. Was this person a moron? That was only going to make Deidara cry even-
"WAUGH!"

Suddenly approaching a table came a couple sympathetic women, a waitress and mother a few tables over. They were gushing and cooing within moments of entering the little brats orbit as they were dragged in.
"Oh 'Sug! What's wrong?"

"I was too ascarded to sing at the Christmas concert tonight and now I willl not ever gonna sing Jingly Bells, un!"

The two women groaned as they tried to rack their brains together to figure out how to stop the mighty cries. The boy had momentarily stopped sobbing, but without a doubt if there wasn't a solution he would go back to crying. The young people at the table didn't seem to be the most capable bunch. Just how could they though help the little boy?

"Excuse me..." a little old woman spoke up as she also approached the table. "I couldn't help but hear this little lads predicament and I may know of a solution."

Sasori jostled an interested Deidara around, "What do you have in mind?"

The elderly woman glanced at the worker and smiled, "Now I must know, does that old piano work or is it just for decoration?"

Looking towards the piano covered in nick-knacks and curios, the employee nodded and led the woman over to the wall where it rest beside. There the waitress got started in taking some of the items off the old piano while Sasori rushed in to join in by pulling out the bench. Finally to finish it off, the old woman herself sat down and lifted the cover, not before knocking off the 'Please don't touch' sign.

"Now now little one, I will play the song and you can-"

"SING JINGLES?"

She cackled up a storm at Deidara's excitement, "Of course! In fact, maybe if you sing loud enough your Christmas cheer will encourage the rest of the patrons to sing along!"

"CHRISTMAS CHEER!?"

"Are you ready?" She said, touching the old, yellow stained key into a quick tune.

"Un!" Deidara yelled as Sasori propped him up on the top of the piano case.

The music started a moment and finally Deidara could sing his heart out,

"Dashing through the snow! Inna one horse open way! Over the hills we go, laughing all the day! Way we what comes next, I don't really know! What I will sing next, will be oki though! WHOOOOAAAA!"

Rushing to join in, Hidan stood at the pianos side and sang along, "JINGLY BELLS JINGLY BELLS!" They both sang loudly and happily enough to encourage others in the restaurant to join in.

Konan was quick to join in, nudging Sasori to begrudgingly also. There was an unspoken and knowing between the two as they made eye contact that told them if he didn't join in, Deidara would make a fuss about it later. Pain quickly whipped out his phone to take a video to laugh at later, he unlike the group had no intention of singing and making the kids happy. He frankly could not care less.

However, the restaurant of course joined in, even the patrons whom were at one point growling and groaning over the crying child, were smiling ear to ear as they sang along to Jingle Bells. If they weren't singing, they surely were still smiling, maybe even tapping their foot away at the joyous evening performance they were given. At the end there was a round of applause, and even a couple requests for another song. At that point though, Deidara was done singing and just needed to finish his dinner. Now that he looked at it, it looked and tasted way more delicious.

Even with his fist print in it.

Bellies full and all sung out, a tuckered out Deidara snuggled up to his Danna's side. Sasori read out loud a story lazily about a magical snowman, not putting in any effort as he let the dull voice lull Deidara to sleep. What a day they had. By the time he was done the book and Deidara was asleep on him, Sasori let the book fall to the floor. He really didn't want to get up at the moment and he really didn't want to leave that warm bed. Deidara? What a warm little bean bag!

"I'll just... rest my eyes..." Sasori sighed, snuggling in a bit as he fell asleep in Deidara's bed. "Good job...Brat."

something i wrote last year that i never posted because at the time it wasn't quite...uh...canon to the story? the timeline was wack. so i made some changes and it's better, but at the same time not really so let's just call this a non-canon christmas special. MERRY LOSERS!