Chapter 124 – Fears for the Future
August 1999
A gasp came from beside Willa, but she didn't move her head away from the stunning garment in front of her.
"What are your thoughts Willa?" the worker questioned, breaking the silence that had appeared in the room since the dress was brought out.
Willa didn't say anything, she just turned her head and looked at Emerson who she had taken with her for the revealing of her wedding dress. Willa was terrified that despite designing her own wedding dress, it still wouldn't turn out to be like what she vaguely pictured in her head, that it wouldn't scream at her the moment she saw it, that she wouldn't know in that moment that it was her wedding dress like what had happened with both Emerson and Angelina in the past.
"Willa you need to speak," Emerson spoke softly, urging Willa to speak but the silence dragged on. "I don't like it when she's silent, it gives me the chills." Emerson commented, speaking more towards the worker instead of Willa.
"We worked with what you gave us Willa but there were gaps within the design, gaps you said you couldn't fill," the worker explained hoping that Willa was paying attention.
Willa turned and looked at Emerson, "why are we here?"
Emerson looked at Emerson in shock, raising an eyebrow. "Because your wedding dress is ready, you wanted to come see it."
Willa shook her head, "no, your wedding is this weekend we should be focused on that and not mine that is ages away," Willa argued but knew Emerson wasn't buying it.
"Willa, your wedding is in a month. You need a dress otherwise the wedding won't happen. Look at that stunning dress that Hattie and the rest of the workers have worked incredibly hard on. Everything for my wedding on Saturday is all sorted, it's your turn for once." Emerson spoke, attempting to convince Willa to at least acknowledge the beautiful dress in front of her.
Willa turned back and looked at the dress, the one she had barely given a second thought since her last meeting with Hattie, the one that involved her designing her wedding dress, but it wasn't something she could completely design.
She stood up and walked towards the worker, someone she had never seen in the shop before and it made her wish that Hattie was able to attend this fitting.
Willa grabbed the dress from the worker, "thank you," she muttered before walking over to where the changing rooms were.
It wasn't until she was in there, standing in her underwear that she realised that she would need help with the dress. She told Hattie she wanted something simple, something that didn't require a lot of fuss like that what Angelina's dress turned out to be, one that required someone in the bathroom with her holding the dress up just so she could use the toilet.
Willa was able to pull the dress up on her own and hold it up, but it was the corset backing that made it undoable for her, that made it, so she needed help.
The door opened and Willa's heightened sense let her know that it was Emerson who was joining her.
"Need a hand?" Emerson questioned and Willa nodded as she looked in the mirror, staring at her own reflection. "This dress is absolutely gorgeous Willa and I'm totally annoyed that I couldn't afford to design my own dress like you did." Emerson spoke as she tightened the corset and tied it for Willa, but it only caused her to scoff.
"Leighton is in completely and utterly in love with you, he would have given you the money if you had asked for it. You just didn't want to ask for the money to pay for the dress," Willa pointed out, but Emerson didn't respond.
When Emerson had finished with the back of Willa's dress, Willa turned around and faced the girl. "You love your dress; you have since the moment you first saw it."
Emerson shook her head, her brow burrowing as she fiddled with Willa's straps. "I hate the buttons on the back, I think they look ugly but in the overall comparison, it is nothing. The buttons are white and blend in with the dress, in photos when the back of my dress is seen, the buttons won't stand out." Emerson's hands dropped and she looked at Willa, giving her a smile. "What don't you like?"
Willa turned and looked back in the mirror, hating that once again Emerson was able to read her mind and know what she needed to hear.
"I don't like the straps; they don't fit right and I thought I would like the idea of having lace straps. I don't like how the gems just stopped and the gradient doesn't continue down the length of the dress," Willa explained, looking at the dress and picking at the things she didn't like.
"Easy," Emerson spoke, "They are all easy fixes."
"I love the corset backing though," Willa spoke, a smile gracing her face.
"There we go. Now why don't we go out and tell the poor girl who probably won't return to work tomorrow that we need to have a meeting with Hattie so these adjustments can be made, you can decide if you want these sleeves or to have a completely strapless dress."
Willa turned and looked at Emerson, "After your wedding though," she spoke sternly, letting Emerson know what she wouldn't be budging on this decision.
Willa has seen her dress, seen what it looks like and she does love it, despite the small things she wants to change. If she was paying the amount of gold to have this dress, then she wanted the changes to be made.
"Deal," Emerson spoke, a smile on her face as she turned Willa back around and began loosening the corset.
.oOo.
Willa walked over and collapsed onto the couch, ignoring the chuckle that came from Oliver who had followed in her behind her.
It was when nothing was said that she pushed her up to rest on her elbows and look at Oliver, finding him leaning against the wall opposite her, not liking the look on his face.
She had no idea where her parents had gone, she assumed they were coming back to the house with her and Oliver but they hadn't shown themselves yet and as for Regulus and Bridgette, they had recently moved into Grimmauld Place, all the renovations that both Regulus and Bridgette wanted done before they moved in were done, making the place safe for both Emilia and Davy as well as making sure it felt like home compared to when three adults were growing up.
Willa let out a groan before she laid back down on the couch, a laugh coming from Oliver. "What's so funny?" she questioned softly, not looking over at him this time.
Nothing was said as Oliver pushed himself off the wall and walked over to where Willa was on the couch, resting his hands on the arm of it and looked down at her, a small smile gracing his face and Willa couldn't help but easily return the smile.
"It's been a long day," Willa complained softly, and Oliver nodded.
"Our own wedding day will be worse," he responded, and she let out another groan, closing her eyes in the process.
Oliver walked over and knelt on the floor, so he was positioned beside her. He reached over and softly ran his thumb along her cheek. "Tell me now you still want to get married, tell me now if you are having second thoughts after helping both Angelina and Emerson plan their own weddings, remembering the craziness that was in the lead up to Bill and Fleur's wedding. I get we've had many weddings this year and it may be a bit much at the end of it but ours is last. Tell me now if you no longer wish to marry me."
Oliver's scarily quite voice caused Willa's eyes to snap open as she stared at him, worried that she had caused him to worry over her decision to marry him and she couldn't fault him, not when she took so long to answer his original proposal, when she spent too long wearing her engagement ring on the wrong hand.
She couldn't believe how something as simple as a complaint from her about a long day and a groan in response to being reminded about how long their own wedding day cause such worry to be present on his face.
"Ol…" she whispered as she sat up and faced him, a hand being placed on the side of his face.
"I love you. I wouldn't have told you I wanted to marry if I didn't, I wouldn't have gone through the painstaking effort that it was just to find my wedding dress."
Oliver didn't say anything as he leant forward and rested his forehead against hers.
"I love you Ol," Willa whispered, hoping to reassure him once more, hating herself for causing such worry in Oliver when they were meant to be in a time of peace and recovery.
"I just wanted to be sure love, you've made such a big deal about these weddings, how big they've been and made such a fuss about how small our wedding will be, even complained how it can't be made smaller," Oliver finally responded, removing any guilt that Willa was holding in.
"I just don't understand why it has to be such a big event," Willa complained and Oliver pulled away, letting out a laugh while she just glared at him.
"Because you, my love, have such a large family. Tell me, would you like to remove any of them from the guest list? What about Angelina, Alicia, Veronica, Lee? I get we're not inviting anyone from Puddlemere except for Zane but he's my best man," Oliver argued, pointing out the obvious but it didn't remove the glare from her face.
"You could uninvite Nikki," she pointed out.
"Yes because that would go over wonders, uninviting her to our wedding. I would never hear the end of it from Zane, or her," Oliver explained and Willa nodded.
"Then why are we having a wedding, they're too much effort. Why couldn't we just sign the required paperwork and just have it at that?" Willa questioned.
"Because Emerson would kill you."
Willa stayed silent for a moment, thinking over what Oliver had just said before she realised it was true and threw her head back against the couch and let out a sigh of frustration.
Oliver stood up and softly kissed her forehead. "Just one more month love."
.oOo.
Willa sat there with her chin resting in her palm and her elbow digging into her thigh while she stared out on the Quidditch Pitch, wondering if their team was going to pull through.
She felt the familiar pull towards Oliver but she didn't turn around and face him, just continue to watch her teammates fly around in front of her. She only turned around and looked up at him once he softly placed a hand on her head.
"How are you feeling?" he questioned softly, taking a seat beside her.
"I'm fine. You should be at your own practise," she responded, looking back out at her own teammates and wondering as to why Oliver was here with her.
"I was informed of the incident, they believed it was better to contact me as they didn't know if your parents would be at Hogwarts or not today considering how close we are to September 1st. You need to go home and rest Willa."
"Why did we decide on a date when my parents are back at Hogwarts, when the Quidditch season starts up. Why did we make this mistake in choosing our wedding day?" Willa questioned, ignoring Oliver's comment about going home to rest.
Oliver didn't say anything, just leant over and softly kissed her temple. "It's not so bad."
Willa turned and looked at him, a glare on her face but didn't say anything.
If it wasn't for the conversation that took place after Emerson and Leighton's wedding then Oliver would be worried about Willa getting cold feet, but she convinced him that she was happy to be marrying him and looked forward to it.
Oliver now believed that Willa's concerns isn't because of the dates they chose or anything else, but because she was now realising just how much her personal life would be on display and it was something she detested.
"What if something comes up and mum and dad can't make it, that they have to stay at Hogwarts. What if you get injured? You have a match the night before our wedding." Willa pointed out everything that could go wrong.
"Your parents won't let that happen, your father won't let that happen." Oliver reached over and cupped her face. "He missed out on so much with you growing up, I doubt he will let anything happen that will prevent him being able to walk you down the aisle. And, if you are that worried about me getting injured in that match, then I won't play."
Willa was shocked at what Oliver was suggesting, she couldn't believe he would happily miss a game.
"Ol…," she started to speak but was cut off by him softly kissing her.
"Don't try and argue with me, if you are that worried about me getting hurt during the match the night before our wedding then I won't play. Exceptions can be made when starting players can't play, our wedding will be one and we have Rookies for a reason, they can fill in when the starting players can't make it to a match for whatever reason," he explained.
"But Quidditch is your dream like mine," Willa pointed out.
Oliver shook his head. "May be so, but I have that now and missing one match won't change that, won't get me kicked off the team. You are now my future and I won't let anything come in the way of us getting married."
A large smile quickly appeared on Willa's face as Oliver spoke and she couldn't believe he was willingly giving up his spot in a game just ease any concerns she may have had.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You would do the same for me," Oliver responded.
"Not too sure about that, this is Quidditch we're talking about," Willa spoke, a smirk appearing on her face and Oliver shook his head.
"I should get back to practise, I will see you later," Oliver softly kissed her cheek before he stood up and left.
Willa watched Oliver leave before she turned and looked back out on the Pitch in front of her, glad that Oliver didn't press the fact that she needed to go home and rest after being injured when they both knew she would just sit in the stands and do nothing but watch, she wouldn't risk anything to make sure she couldn't play in her next game.
.oOo.
September 1999
Willa stood there as she attempted to reach around with hopes of making sure that the dress still fits, but then she remembered why she always brought Emerson to her fittings, she couldn't do the dress up on her own but she needed to make sure the dress still fit. She could cope if it didn't fit, the dress could be altered but she just needed to know before it was too late.
"Oliver!" she called out knowing he was home somewhere.
It still felt odd having the house as empty as it now was. With Octavia and Sirius both at Hogwarts and Emerson and Leighton having moved out and Regulus and Bridgette had decided it was best to move into one of the other properties within the family, it just left Willa and Oliver alone in the large house. It didn't stop their friends from dropping by as often as they do though.
"Yes love?" Oliver questioned and she turned just as he appear in the doorway. "What in Merlin's name are you wearing?" he questioned, a frown etched on his face and it confused her.
Willa looked down at the white dress she was wearing before back up at Oliver. "It's my wedding dress, are you that daft?" she questioned, turning her back to him. "Can you please do the backing up for me?"
Oliver stood there and stared at Willa in complete awe at the sight of her in her dress. He knew the superstitions, the groom shouldn't see his bride in her wedding dress before their wedding day.
He stayed silent as he walked towards Willa, softly placing his hands on her back before slowly doing the corset up, taking in her appearance completely. She looked absolutely beautiful.
"Thank you," Willa responded, a smile gracing her face as she twisted around and examined her appearance in the mirror she was standing in front of.
"When Emerson and Leighton got married, when they were planning their wedding you didn't once hear either of them say something about the groom not seeing the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding? Or even when any of our other friends got married before us?" Oliver questioned softly, placing his hands on her waist, drawing her closer to him.
Willa carefully turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I did," she whispered.
Oliver's mouth tugged up into a smirk before he shook his head. "It's considered bad luck love."
"So is wearing an engagement ring on the wrong finger," she responded, a grin on her face.
Oliver let out a chuckle before leaning down and kissing her. "You look beautiful love," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.
"Willa! Oliver!" Emerson's voice rang through the room.
"Whoops," Willa giggled before pulling away and facing Emerson.
"What are you two doing?" Emerson questioned.
"Breaking in the dress," Willa responded with a smirk as she winked at Emerson.
Emerson rolled her eyes before looking at Oliver. "She's a daft idiot. You should know better," she scolded, pointing a finger at Oliver.
"I had no idea she was wearing her dress when she called me up here. I entered the room and saw her standing there, nothing I could do," Oliver defended himself and Emerson shook her head.
"What no Connor?" Willa questioned, frowning slightly at not seeing her godson.
Emerson shook her head but it couldn't hide the smile on her face. "Leighton has fatherly duties."
Emerson knew without a shred of doubt when she found out she was pregnant that Willa would be godmother and she was glad that Willa had taken to it well, even seeing her around Teddy was enough to know that Willa would make an amazing mother one day.
Oliver took that moment to leave the room, hoping to escape Emerson's wrath.
"Oliver!" Emerson yelled, catching his attempt at leaving but he just turned and grinned at her before leaving.
Emerson turned and looked at Willa, "You're a bad influence on him," she accused but Willa just kept a smile plastered on her face.
"I had to make sure it fits before my wedding this weekend," Willa responded, and Emerson nodded.
"It makes sense but why didn't you wait until I came over like I said I was going to, why did you call Oliver up here?" Emerson questioned but Willa just shrugged before she turned and motioned for Emerson to undo the back of her dress.
"I didn't want a lecture from you about bringing the dress home early, if for some reason the dress didn't fit," Willa responded, and a sigh came from Emerson.
"I wouldn't have given you a lecture, just worried as to what would have gone through your head at the idea that your dress didn't fit properly anymore."
Willa carefully turned around and faced Emerson, "why are both you and Oliver so afraid that I'm going to back out of this wedding? I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to marry Oliver and we're soulmates, I can't image the thought of losing Oliver."
"I just worry is all," Emerson commented.
Willa carefully took her wedding dress off and put it back on its coat hanger, staying silent and not wanting to respond to Emerson voicing her worry.
"Willa."
"You know Oliver wants to have children one day," Willa commented as she carefully placed her concealed wedding dress back in her wardrobe as Emerson took a seat on the bed, waiting to see if Willa continued.
"Oliver wants to have children one day Em, it's why he's attempting to become an Animagus as if it will cause it to happen," Willa spoke, stopping in the doorway of her wardrobe and leaning against the frame.
"Do you want children?" Emerson questioned, she couldn't remember a time where Willa has ever stated if she did or didn't want children and she was unsure as to where Willa truly stood on that decision of her future.
Willa merely shrugged instead of verbally responding.
"Are you worried that there is a chance you won't be able to have children at all, that you won't be able to give Oliver the children that he wishes to have with you. Or are you worried that they will have the same difficulties that you've had growing up?" Emerson spoke, knowing the girl so incredibly well she could pick which concerns that Willa could possibly have.
"Both," Willa responded quietly. "Also, what if I'm a horrible mother?"
Emerson couldn't help herself, a laugh escaped, and she knew it was a bad idea when hurt flashed across Willa's face. "I'm sorry but it's laughable that you could possibly think you will be a bad mother. The way you treat Connor means the world to both Leighton and I, you adore him. Not to mention Teddy and Davy. We have four young children within our family now and you adore every single one of them, giving us all the knowledge that one day you will be an amazing mother. Yes, there may be times it will be hard for you, but all parents have those moments and it varies as to which moments they struggle with.
We've all heard O's stories as she raised us, how hard it was for her being on her own while dad and Sirius were gone, and we all kept asking where our daddy's were. Or even her struggles when it came to your explosions and memory."
"But that's different and you know it. I'm a special circumstance," Willa argued.
"How do you know your child won't be the same as you, have the same struggles that you have with your magic?" Emerson argued back, hoping it didn't backfire on her and Willa completely shut herself off.
Emerson was glad that Willa met Oliver, that he turned out to be someone that could change her for the better. Growing up Willa was never one to open up and speak about what was bothering her and her fears surrounding her differences than those around her. But Oliver was changing all of that and Willa was opening up, was willing to have move conversations with the people closest to her about what was bothering her and her fears for her future.
Emerson became worried, the longer Willa stayed silent she became worried that this conversation had gone too far for the other witch to handle.
"Growing up I always wished there was someone there who could understand what I was going through, who understood how it felt to lose complete control of your own magic. Mum understood to a degree because she had similar issues, but she was able to control it while I have never been able to. If any possible future child of mine has those issues I will never let them feel alone like I felt, even any sibling of mine that mum and dad could possibly have," Willa finally answered, refusing to look up and face Emerson, wanting to hide the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes.
Emerson didn't say anything as she got off the bed and walked over to Willa, pulling her into her arms. "Everybody tried everything they could to help you, but they were at a loss and instead we did everything we could to make sure your anger didn't get the better of you. We did everything we could to help you," Emerson spoke, and Willa nodded.
"How about we go get Connor from Leighton since you wanted to see him so badly?" Emerson suggested as she pulled away, grateful to see a smile on Willa's face.
.oOo.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who continues to read and follow on with my story, I appreciate it all so much.
Thank you to Son of Whitebeard for reviewing, it means a lot to me.