(A/N: Hello again, E-Bug here. This chapter's obscure inspiration was those "for him/her" accessories...most unorthodox, but give it a chance, gosh dangit!
I should also mention there's just 1 request slot left! I could POSSIBLY make it 2, but let's not get crazy. Remember there's strictly 8 chapters after this one!)

Ch. 52: Personalized Gift

Summary: Zim commissions someone to make a special present for Tak.

"Ohh...what a night shift...WHA?" Cara the unpaid intern awoke sitting in a chair, to which her pudgy limbs were shackled. "That's new."

Her surroundings appeared to be a darkened laboratory with a single light shining down on her and an expansive table in front of her. Before she could look more closely, she jumped, hearing a noise.

"AHH! I don't have any money! I'm just a jewelry store intern!"

"I know what you are," spoke a sinister voice. "Why else do you think I brought you here?"

She gulped, unable to tell where it was coming from. "Why did ya?"

"It's quite the fascinating story...well, not really, but I shall tell you anyway! FIRST, you should know what I am; the incredible Invader Zim! A terrifying harbinger of doom not of this world, who has laid waste to the lives of millions, known throughout the universe as champion of the mighty Irken race!"

"I-Impressive," muttered Cara.

"Aren't I? Now don't interrupt! A televised ad from your workplace caught my attention the other day, imbuing me with the spirit of gift-giving! I was compelled to give a gift of yours to my partner, the also incredible Invader Tak! But I think we both know that whole 'walking in and buying something' arrangement was asking too much of me."

Wordlessly, Cara raised an eyebrow. Did she hear that right? Sure, the prices were looney, but she didn't consider them worth kidnapping over! Then again, this guy seemed pretty looney himself.

"Which brings me to you, who's been given the honor of completing this task for me..."

Only then did she notice what looked like a metallic leg near the end of the table. Her eyes followed it upward to see a bright-eyed silhouette with antennae lowering itself towards her.

"AAGHHH!" she cried, shutting them. "Not like this! Ew, ew, ew! I hate spiders! Ew, ew, get away!"

"What? Zim is not a spider, you kiwi! Did you not hear my intimidating speech?!"

Cracking an eye open, she saw a small, non-threatening green man standing on the table. "OH...alien...less creepy than a giant spider..."

"Hmph. See these, human?" He gestured to the glass cases behind him; they contained all kinds of gems and metals, which she decided against asking where he got.

"All you must do..." Zim squinted at her nametag. "Himynameiscarambola—"

"I-It's just Carambola, or 'Cara' for short..."

"Both annoy me, 'human' will suffice."

"Hrm."

"All you must do to leave this place painlessly, human, is use these to produce one of those baubles like on TV! Once you've done that, you'll have your memories of all that's transpired erased via my incomparable memory-erasing invention and be dropped back where you were found. Am I clear?"

"UH—"

"Of course I am," Zim clapped. "Computeeer!"

At this, Cara's wrists were uncuffed. "..."

"...well? Make with the, eh, making! Nothing too pointy, now! Hurry, but don't rush!"

"I-I will, it's just...! These personalized gifts are meant to be personal, y'know? And I need a bit of information on your, uh, partner to know what to make! C-Could you give me an idea?" she stammered.

"Ha!"

"'Ha'?"

"HA! You're a human, you don't get ideas!"

"Trust me, I do! Especially when it comes to this stuff! I've had plenty of dating experience, hehe."

"..."

"Just tryna lighten the mood...and failing..."

"Hmmm. Very well. Behold! This is her." A tiny Tak hologram emitted from a doo-hickey on this wrist. (Weird that he just had that, but Cara figured it was like an alien locket.) "In reality, she's a liiittle taller than me. A LIIIIITTLE."

"Ooh," Cara studied the projection, which looked like an actually intimidating version of her captor. "She's, uh...cute?"

"ENOUGH BEHOLDING!" Zim withdrew the hologram. "You have your bit of information, now get to work!"

"That was a decent start."

"Start? You need MORE?"

Cara messed with the curly edges of her hair. "If you want me to do a good job..."

"I do want that," Zim tapped his chin. "More, more...well, Tak has a veryyy demanding nature, always pushing me to work harder. Which is what she does! But she can be patient too. At times. Under certain circumstances. Need I go on?"

"Sounds like a resumé," Cara sighed and carefully considered her words. "I've gotta know what you think about your relationship with Tak."

"Curses," Zim glanced aside. "I knew I should've written that intelligence report beforehand."

"It's perfectly fine," she cracked a smile at his naivety. "This is about emotions, the least intelligent things on Earth."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"UH, NOTHING!" she said anxiously. "Ha-haaa, just talkin' 'bout that mushy junk called love..."

"That's an emotion, right? Zim is full of mushy junk!"

"Ohh, sweet progress," Cara sat up straight. "AHEM. So, you love Tak as in, your knees get weak when you're around her?"

"Nahhh, not even Tak could weaken MY knees."

"Oh. Does she make you light-headed, like you're in the clouds?"

"If it were cloudy, of course I'd need headlights. But stay on topic, human!"

"They're just idioms. Like, do you feel butterflies in your stomach? Your guts tying themselves in knots? Your heart beating a mile a minute?"

"Cease this fascination with my organs!" snapped Zim. "None of your 'idioms' are even close to fitting descriptions!"

"Then describe for me. Imagine Tak asking you 'Zim, how do you feel about me?'"

"Uhhh," Zim heated up slightly. "I dunno...GOOD?"

"I'd hope so. C'mon, Romeo, you can do better."

"'Better', yes..." Zim began pacing back and forth. "I was certainly amazing to begin with, but Tak is like...more...like another part of me."

"Oh, like she's your other ha—"

"SHHHH, let me monologue. Tak reminds me of myself in several ways, which is high praise indeed! She's a genius, like me! She has an undeterrable will, like ME! And she revels in destruction, LIKE ME! To name a few."

Cara shuddered, praying they weren't exactly alike...

"But in other, mushier ways, she's rather different from me."

Praise the Lord.

"Why, if Tak were here at this moment, she'd probably...definitely say this was a ridiculous idea! Which I would of course take offense to, but not normal offense! Normal offense makes me want to jab someone with a pastry fork until they cry," Zim kept sharply inhaling. "I regard her too highly, which is most irregular for me! But none of that matters because the 'ridiculous' actions caused by these 'irregular' emotions result in Tak's happiness. And I can think of NOTHING more imperative!"

"You've got it bad, huh?"

Zim's face had reddened when he whipped back around. "HEH...?"

"At least, judging by what you said, and the kidnapping and all," Cara opened a couple of the cases. "You seem like a pretty alright alien boyfriend, husband or whatever."

"Will you hurry up?!" Zim grumbled. "So I can get to the very not alright act of erasing your memory?!"

"Eh, that's probably for the best," she shrugged. "I might seem cool-headed now, but this whole ordeal's kinda messing me up. And at least I get to live!"

"Lucky you." Zim crossed his arms. "I'm only sparing you in accordance with my mission, NOT because I'm merciful! My orders weren't to destroy every annoyingly-named being I come across!"

"But didn't you say earlier that you've killed, like, a bajillion people?" Cara pointed out.

"..."

"I mean, there's manslaughter..."

"SILENCE! I don't have all night! Tak will be back from the laundromat any minute!"

"Alrighty," Cara cracked her knuckles. "Watch an unpaid intern at work!"

With inspiration fueling her, she set out to forge a bracelet. She considered engraving Tak's name in it, but she didn't want to risk misspelling it and Zim clearly wasn't in the mood for questions. He leaned against the wall impatiently, looking around the whole time. Production was quiet, but went by quickly. She welded and polished and soon had it finished; a sterling silver wristlet adorned with ardeo bixbite.

"Ta-daaa!" She handed it to Zim.

"That's it? I don't see a single weapon apparatus on this thing!" He examined it. "Oh, whatever! It's shiny, that'll have to do! How long until Tak reaches the house, Computer?"

"Master, she got back 5 minutes ago."

"GOOD TO KNOW!" Zim scurried into the elevator. "Now or never!"

"Wait, what about me?" asked Cara.

"Oh, yeah." Zim clapped twice.

"OUGH!" A robotic arm reached down from the ceiling to lift Cara by the waist, and a vat of boiling acid took the place of her chair. "What?! Aren't you gonna mind-wipe me and lemme go?"

"Yes, I am! IF Tak is satisfied with what you've made! If not, I'll drop you in there and find someone better for the job!"

Cara futilely struggled against the arm. "But you said you didn't have orders to destroy random people!"

"I don't, I just do it in my spare time."

"WHAT THE HECK, MAN?!" she cried as the elevator rose out of view. "Argh, I'm so stupid! Why was I making small talk with that little nutball when I should've been trying to get away?! He just gave off an unimposing vibe! Sorta made me forget he knocked me out and dragged me...wherever I am."

Hearing a childlike voice, she scanned the room. She doubted it came from anyone helpful. That computer seemed omnipresent and anyone else would no doubt be affiliated with Zim. Plus, an alien base must've been in a remote location. (Unless somebody was dumb enough to just plant one in the middle of a neighborhood...)

"Anybody there?" she called out.

"Nope! Hehehe!"

"UM," Sweat dripped down Cara's face. "Hey! Can you please help me?"

GIR toddled out of the shadows. "I'unno. Want me to push youuu?"

"NO, DON'T! Uh...are you that Zim guy's minion?"

His eyes flashed red. "ZIM IS MY LORD AND MASTER!"

"Ahh!" squeaked Cara.

"Oooh, guacamole!" Suddenly back to normal, GIR slurped some acid from the edge of the vat. His tongue melted. "Tasty!"

"Okay, you're clearly no help. Anyone else here?"

GIR nodded. "MOOSE! A flyin' moose!"

"Oh, no," Cara flinched. "I hate moose even more than spiders."

"MiMi! She's like a better me!"

"No, robots aren't exactly trustworthy."

GIR nodded again. "Skoodgey! He's here too."

"Is 'Skoodgey' a friend of Zim's?"

"Nooot really."

"But he's on his side, right?"

"Mmyep!"

"Then just leave me here to die, I guess..."

"Okie-dokie, have fun!" GIR sang, skipping away.

Cara hung her head. "Both my web comic readers are gonna be so disappointed. I always go on about how I'm 'not gonna be like those other content creators who suddenly stop updating with no explanation', yet here I am, about t—"

The return of the elevator shut her up. Zim stepped out of it, facing the floor.

Cara took a nervous breath. "Please tell me I'm gettin' outta here. In the way that doesn't include dying painfully."

"Yes, you are. The sooner, the better." He spoke oddly, like he was trying to contain himself. With another pair of claps, the floor closed over the acid and a new chair with a helmet on top slid out.

"Really?! Oof!" Cara was plopped into it, which she'd grown accustomed to. "Then, she liked it?"

"Mm-hmm," Zim fiddled with settings on the memory-erasing thingamabob.

"Wow, my work is alien-approved!" Cara's eyes twinkled. "Sure wish I could tell my manager about it. That prick would HAVE to give me the gold vest!"

"Yeah, well," Zim slipped the helmet onto her head.

"Hey, just one second!"

"What?"

"Won't you tell me what happened?"

"I can't..." Zim paused dramatically. "...think of a single reason to."

"I like to know these things, and you clearly like talking!" Cara knew she was pushing it, but couldn't care less by now. "C'mooon, it won't hurt you none!"

"If it does, I'm destroying you."

"Deal!"

Zim thought for a moment. "She thanked me."

Cara blinked. "...a-and?"

"And smiled during it."

"And?"

"AND NOTHIN'!" shouted Zim. "What'd you expect, a medal?! I told you preserving Tak's smile is my top priority, so why would there be an 'and'?!"

"Good point. You really are alright. As a boyfriend. As a person, you seem truly awful."

"SAYS YOU!" With that, Zim activated the memory eraser.

"Yeah, says m—"

BZZZZZZ!

"—AAAAGHH, IT FEELS LIKE MY BRAIN IS IN A TICKLE FIGHT WITH A FLAMING SEA URCHIN! AND LOSIIIING!"
Cara's mind grew foggier and foggier...

XXXXXXXTHENEXTDAYXXXXXXX

"Cara!" Melinda the other unpaid intern, tapped her shoulder. "You takin' the night shift again?"

"Heck, no! I got a screaming headache after that last one! It was like my brain lost a tickle fight to a flaming sea urchin or somethin'. And not a single customer. I'll come in at 4 AM if it keeps me from working nights." Cara stood and stretched. "Which reminds me, is it lunchbreak yet?"

"First, before I forget, check out my newest ear piercing!"

"I swear they're gonna stop letting you through metal detectors one of these days, Mel..."

"This one ain't metal! It's ardeo bixbite!"

"...huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, just a déjà vu-ish feeling."

"Quit stalling and tell me how it looks!"

"It looks like it's time for lunch! And red really isn't your color, dahling."

"Oh, says you!"

"Yeah, says me."

(A/N: Ah, finished! Hey, there was no Tak in this chapter! *sobs* God, what kinda hack writer am I?! But I assure y'all, the next chapter will make up for it, and hopefully be out, mmm, soon-ish! My recent "Top of the Line" story, which is the main reason this took so long, is also jam-packed with Tak, so please check it out, and as always, review, fave and follow! Until next tiiime!

PS, though bixbite—AKA red beryl—is a real gemstone, "ardeo bixbite" is not. Bixbite supposedly enhances relationship harmony/compatibility while "ardeo" is Latin for smth to do w/ fire. I think...
Also did you notice the nicknames "CARA" and "MEL"? Ha-haaa, clever)