Adrien felt like the scum of the earth. There was every reason to, because, after all, he was a horrible person deep within. A fae. He had always known that a more wicked side of him existed, but the Dark Cupid incident had still been a shock. The Cure had done a good job of making everyone who had gotten hit with an arrow forget what they have done, blessing them with amnesia previously only known by the Akuma victims themselves.

Chat Noir had not been so lucky.

He remembered everything!

Worse yet, he remembered meaning all those things he had said and done. It was like one of his worst nightmares had suddenly manifested in reality and there was no going back. And even if he would have forgotten, there was no way Marinette would forget it any time soon.

The memory of her fear-filled eyes had etched itself into his mind and he felt all the worse for having to lie to her. She had no idea that this nightmarish thing had been Adrien. She had no idea that she was talking to him almost daily. She had no idea what it all meant. And he couldn't tell her either.

He hugged Emilie and the snow leopard plushie that still needed a name, and felt miserable. He didn't deserve either of them, but they still gave him comfort.

In all of this, Marinette wasn't the biggest issue. It was Ladybug.

Well, theoretically they were the same person, but Adrien couldn't apologize to Marinette for something Chat Noir had done to Ladybug. To set that right, it was Chat Noir who had to apologize to Ladybug.

Adrien wanted to. By Danu, he needed to apologize for that! But, whenever patrol came around, he found a reason to chicken out at the last second. No Akuma had attacked for weeks and it was already March, which meant he had avoided the issue for far too long already. He knew that he couldn't procrastinate any longer.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go out there," Félix said that Saturday evening—it was patrol day.

"But she's gonna ask questions and then what will I say?! 'Oh, I'm sorry, my lady, but I'm a halfling and the Akuma's powers only affected my human side so all that was left back then was a fae'."

Félix rolled his eyes and forcibly dragged Adrien out of bed by the legs. He yowled in surprise and almost ripped the bedding when he instinctively wanted to hold on to it with his claws.

"We've gone over this hundreds of times now. You know what to say."

"But—"

"Kid, your whining is not helping anyone," Plagg cut in and yawned. "I'm not one for much work, but I agree with your brother for once. So, get out there and explain yourself to the bug."

Chat Noir didn't like this. He had almost turned around three times already to go back home. But Félix, Plagg and his common sense were right: he couldn't procrastinate this any longer.

He sat on the edge of the rooftop Ladybug and he always met on for patrol and wrapped his tail around himself. Not neatly and with poise like Félix usually did, but in a way that gave him security and comfort. His nerves let the fur stand a little on end and he petted it in the direction it grew. It was a little unnerving to not feel it through the material of his gloves so he ended up rubbing it against the exposed skin on his face. It felt softer than usual.

He laughed to himself when he thought about how the miraculous of the god of destruction—who smelled like cheese no matter how often Adrien and Félix insisted he should take a bath or a shower—worked like some sort of conditioner. Plagg must have guessed his train of thought because he gave an indignant huff. His kwami would no doubt have started a tirade about how his Miraculous was the epitome of perfection and how Adrien should be thankful for being allowed to use it at all, but in that moment, there was the sound of someone lightly landing on the roof behind him.

Chat Noir turned around to see Ladybug standing there with an indiscernible expression. She looked both happy and unsure to see him. At once, his nerves returned and the fur of his tail fluffed up in response.

All the times he had practiced what to say to her seemed to be wasted effort as his mouth suddenly felt dry and he didn't even get out a simple greeting. The instinct to jump up and flee overcame him, so he dug his claws into the cement to forcefully stay where he was.

She was no danger, so there was no reason to flee from her. The conversation they were long overdue to have though, that would be dangerous. Tikki would no doubt twist his neck personally if he screwed this up and let anything further slip.

"Hi Chat. How are you?" Ladybug eventually asked awkwardly after what felt like an eternity of silence. He noted that she didn't come closer to him and he'd lie if he'd say that it didn't hurt.

Don't worry. It's just me. You don't have to be scared.

He couldn't say that. That didn't stop his ears from drooping when he picked up on her fear. Curse his cat senses. Humans were truly blessed with obliviousness, not being able to so easily pick up on other people's emotions.

"I'm sorry," Chat Noir said and got up from his sitting position. He didn't dare to come closer though. Predators were the ones that prowled closer to their prey and he had to do the opposite. Let her approach him on her own terms while he needed to just look as innocent and approachable as possible.

"It's okay. It's not your fault you had urgent civilian stuff coming up."

He blinked a few times until he realised that she had referred his apology to how he had skipped out on patrol for the last few weeks.

"Err, yeah. And that's also something I'm sorry for." He shuffled on the spot awkwardly and looked at the gravel-covered flat roof. He could do this. Félix was right when he had said that he technically knew what to say. He had carefully crafted together something of a speech/interview. It was something he had done for public interviews as Adrien Agreste hundreds of times and it had never been an issue. All of a sudden, it seemed like an impossible task to remember the dos and don'ts though. Maybe because the fate of the love of his life was at stake here.

"Are you talking about the Dark Cupid thing?" She asked and hesitantly made a step in his direction. They were still five metres or so apart but it was progress. He nodded.

"I shouldn't have said or done all these things and I'm sorry for scaring you."

Her eyes mirrored her emotions as she seemingly recounted what exactly had transpired back then. He had never wanted to be able to cry more in his life than in this moment. The most human way of showing genuine emotion and he couldn't even do that much.

"It's okay, you—"

"Don't say that," he whimpered. "It wasn't okay at all. Don't pretend like it doesn't haunt you and don't downplay it, please. It's…it's not okay and it never will be."

Chat Noir had thoroughly deviated from his script at this point, so he bit his lip and looked back down to the ground. He couldn't let her think that this was a recurring thing but he also needed to tell her that it might happen again in the future if an Akuma with similar powers hit him. He hadn't been careful enough, so all that had happened had truly been his fault. She had tripped and fallen, so naturally he had focused solely on her, ready to jump to her rescue. Of course she had been able to save herself and he should have known that, but his subconscious didn't want to let go of the 'she's a fragile human' mantra. If he had trusted her more and paid attention to the Akuma instead, then all of this wouldn't have happened. He truly was the worst partner ever.

Ladybug looked at him, stunned. She opened her mouth and closed it again a few times before finally settling on what she wanted to say.

"Tikki explained it to me a bit."

Chat Noir could feel the blood draining from his face.

Tikki had what?!

"O-oh?" He said and suddenly had to sit down again. To his utmost relief, Ladybug came closer and sat down across from him. Still at a more than polite distance, but he'd take whatever he could get from her that night.

"She said that the Akuma's arrows didn't mingle well with your magic. Or Plagg's magic, I guess. And, I mean, it somehow makes sense? It's the power of destruction and Plagg is a black cat, so I guess it could make you act more…feral when messed with."

Chat Noir blinked and tilted his head.

"Tikki is smart. Did you really think she'd tell your bug that you're a halfling?" Plagg said in his head.

Now that he thought about it, Plagg was right. It really wouldn't make sense for Tikki to tell Marinette anything that had any relation to the fair folk when she wanted to protect her from ever finding out about it. Planting a half-truth in her head and then letting her spin her own explanation to it was a much better way to approach it than what he had planned to say.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, that's pretty much it," he lied. But then he remembered something and his expression saddened again. "But that's still no excuse. I remember everything and it's…it's terrifying to know that I meant all those things back then. Just what kind of psychopath does that make me?!"

Again, he would cry if he could.

Ladybug scooted closer to him and before he really knew what was happening, he was wrapped in a hug.

"Shh, it's okay, Chaton," she said and let a hand glide through his hair in an obvious try to comfort him. He usually loved it when she petted him, but he was currently too distressed to really appreciate it.

"Stop saying that," he said throatily.

"You're not a psychopath. You're my partner. I'm not gonna lie, it was very scary when you suddenly acted like you did back then, but I knew that it wasn't...you. The magic forced that side out of you." She paused for a bit. "You know, when you were like that, you said that you were affected by the arrow, but that it was the weaker side of you that was hating me."

He whimpered.

"And that got me thinking," she continued. "Somehow you must have been able to lock that hatred away that would have made you attack me, maybe even side with the Akuma and Hawkmoth. So even when I didn't like who you became as a result, you were still strong enough to pull this off and kind of stay on my side."

When she suddenly laid her head on his shoulder, he was sure that he was going to spontaneously combust at any second.

"You did everything you could do in that situation. I'm proud of you."

They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, only interrupted by his silent purr that started to grow in volume the longer they stayed like this. It was clear that they wouldn't get any patrolling done tonight.

"There's still something that bugs me though–" Chat Noir snorted at her accidental pun, "–and Tikki won't tell me anything either."

Uh oh.

He tensed. If it was something Tikki wouldn't tell her, then he definitely wouldn't like what came next.

"When you were, well, affected, you said something about a Court…and Chloé mentioned it too when she distracted you later. What does it mean?"

Oh, by Danu, NO! Anything but this question!

"Forget it," he said, more harshly than he intended. He didn't want her to say this word ever again. It didn't belong on her tongue.

"What?" Ladybug ended the hug and looked at him, bewildered.

"Please, my lady. Nothing good will come of it. It's already risky that I know of it. Tikki has a very good reason not to tell you. Please trust me and trust her."

He wanted to say more. He wanted to warn her of how lethal the knowledge was, but the more he talked about it, the more dangerous it would become. Instead, he tried to put all insistence and desperation into his expression to convey how serious the matter was.

Ladybug sighed. "Fine, I'll drop it," she said and he could tell that she wasn't happy with being out of the loop.

"It's better like this, trust me," he said. "And if anyone talks to you about the Court again, just run away. I'm sure Tikki will agree with me on that one."

"That was a close one, kid, but you managed. Now change the topic before you mess it up," Plagg said in his head.

Silence stretched between him and Ladybug once more. A silence Chat Noir used to wrack his brain about what else they desperately needed to talk about. There had been something. Something important even, but with all the close calls concerning the Court he had momentarily forgotten what it was.

"There was something else," he muttered, angry at himself for not remembering.

"Seriously, kitten? The KISS!"

Chat Noir flinched out of several reasons. One, Plagg's voice was very loud in his head. Secondly, how could he have actually forgotten the kiss?! And last but not least, now he had to talk about it with Ladybug which made him all kinds of flustered.

When he looked up, he saw his partner look at him, her head tilted. What was she supposed to think now?! First he mumbled to himself like a maniac and then he flinched so hard he almost fell off the roof.

"Uhm...yeah...there is...something else, I wanted to talk to you about," he eventually said and prayed that he wasn't blushing so much that it would be visible. She made an affirmative noise, silently prodding him to go on.

"Well, uh, about how you snapped me out of it back then…" He trailed off because Ladybug suddenly blushed as red as her suit.

"Oh, that…" she said and bit her lip. "I just had a hunch it would work and it did. Since, you know, in fairy tales"—he couldn't help but flinch at the word—"it always works and I don't really have much else to go on with in regards to magic. So, yeah, I tried it because I couldn't think of anything else."

"O-okay then. But...isn't it an act of love in fairy tales rather than a simple kiss?" Chat Noir had absolutely no idea where the courage to ask that question had suddenly come from. Well, curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction would bring it back. Stupid cat habits.

"Platonic love counts too!" Ladybug said a little too loud and a little too nervously to make it believable. Chat Noir was stunned.

"My lady...do you love me?" What had that been about curiosity killing the cat?

"PLATONICALLY!" Ladybug insisted loudly while still blushing furiously. "Let's just...not talk about it again, okay?"

"But…" He wasn't even sure why he wanted to argue this point. The less they talked about it, the less awkward it would be.

"It didn't mean anything, I just wanted to save you. Can we leave it at that?"

That sentence hurt more than it had any right to. Of course it wouldn't mean anything to her. Chat Noir and Ladybug were crime fighting partners after all and nothing more. Still, it was often hard to forget that she also was Marinette, his best friend and his one and only love. And to hear her say that kissing him didn't mean anything...kinda hurt.

"Yeah, let's just drop it," he said with a sigh. The conversation was a dead end anyway, so he shouldn't needlessly get worked up about it.

"Alright, alright!" Ladybug then said and stood up. "Now, how about patrol?"

Chat Noir frowned at her. "Wait, we're actually doing patrol tonight?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You have three weeks to catch up on,. Besides, I've been cooped up in my room all day so I am actually out here for a good run. Wanna join me or take a nap on this rooftop?"

He loved the way she grinned at him. Just half an hour ago he had been afraid that he would never see that grin thrown at him from her masked face ever again.

"Whoever is first at the Louvre?" He challenged as he stood up as well.

"You're on!"

Adrien sighed in bliss at the flowery scents that surrounded them and curled up further on the picnic blanket while stretching in the warm sunbeam. He loved spring, even when it came with its own hindrances. Beltane was one of them, but that had been yesterday, so he enjoyed the feeling of the veil thickening again. It would get thinner again for the much-dreaded Midsummer, but that was over a month from now and therefore a worry for future-Adrien.

Speaking of Beltane—its importance equal to Samhain, just on the other side of the year—there had been a very close call. Roger, Sabrina's father, had been akumatised and not only had Adrien been forced to fight an Akuma while the laminarity was bugging him, but he had also needed to deal with Chloé who had sided with the Akuma willingly and made this particular task all the more difficult. It had all been Plagg's fault anyway. Him and his stupid obsession with Camembert cheese.

"Finally, we get to hang out without screaming children or snow storms," Alya said as she lay with her head on Nino's lap. The two of them had eventually stopped being frustratingly oblivious and started dating. Them, Marinette, Félix and he were currently in the middle of enjoying the last day of the spring holidays. The last relaxation they would get before school started again with the much dreaded final exams.

"Don't jinx it, Al," Adrien said and closed his eyes. He would also love to lie down with his head on Marinette's lap, but he couldn't do that. He loved her, but he couldn't risk their friendship…yet. Back on Valentine's Day he had originally wanted to confess: he had spent a lot of time trying to write the perfect poem, but then Dark Cupid had happened. There was no way he could confess to her in good conscience after what he had done back then, even though she didn't know it had been him. It was hard to believe that it had already almost been three months since that horrible day.

"I'm just saying. This past month has been hectic as all hell. Which reminds me, Agreste, you still owe someone an extra model spot in one of your next photoshoots."

Adrien opened his eyes again to see Alya wiggling her eyebrows at him. He tried to glare at her but by the way she was smirking he was probably blushing instead.

"Alya!" Marinette threw in and one look at her told him that she was blushing as well.

"We could ask Nathalie to schedule something," Félix unexpectedly said.

"Fé!" Adrien's blush probably worsened.

"Yeah, do that, bro!" Nino agreed and held out his fist for Félix to bump. He did, having grown more comfortable with such mundane gestures ever since they started going to school. "I always thought Marinette belonged in the modelling business."

"I don't know. I'm not a model and I don't know if those clothes would even fit me since they're tailored for taller people and I wouldn't know what to do at all and—" Marinette started rambling at lightning speed.

"Adrien can teach you," Alya interrupted her with a wink. "Right, Sunshine?"

"I–uh–maybe?" Adrien stammered.

"Anyway," Marinette said, a little louder than strictly necessary and stood up, "I wanted to walk around the park a little for inspiration."

"I'll come with you," Adrien said and jumped up as well. As much as he wanted to keep lying in the sun, he didn't want to risk the teasing that was no doubt going to ensue in Marinette's absence if he stayed behind.

"Oh? O-okay then," Marinette said and fidgeted with the string of her bag. Against his will he sensed her nervousness, which probably meant that she was as eager to get away from the gentle teasing as he was. A little walk through the blooming trees seemed perfect.

Adrien bowed. "Lead the way, Princess," he said and had to smile when it made her giggle. When a pebble lightly hit his shin, the smile turned into an accusing frown that was directed at his brother. Félix feigned innocence though. When he looked up, Marinette was throwing a similar frown towards Nino. Adrien couldn't believe that after ten months neither Nino nor Félix had stopped with this childish game.

Things quieted down once they were out of earshot of their friends and only the general noise of other park goers and the city beyond the trees surrounded them. Adrien couldn't take his eyes off Marinette, who was practically dancing through the blooming trees. A wind gust made white petals fly off a tree he didn't know the name of and surround her like snow while she laughed. He would burn this image into his memory to hold onto on dark days. She was so beautiful and full of life.

He loved her.

"How is the inspiration coming along?" He asked after she re-joined his side once again. For the past few minutes she had been darting around beyond the park's path to take pictures of flowers and blossoming trees or to just look at them.

"Amazingly!" She said, her eyes sparkling with joy. "I was thinking that a white dress with pink accents and maybe lace would be nice. I've never sewn lace before so it would be a nice challenge! Oh, and I could use differently coloured threads for it, so that it isn't just one colour!"

Adrien smiled. She was so cute when she was inspired.

"That sounds very cute. Will I get to see you wear it?"

Marinette grinned mischievously. "Maybe. Unless you would rather want to wear it instead?"

He snorted. "I still have last year's outfit, so I'm good. We'll definitely have to do that again now that the weather is getting warmer though. It would be a lot of fun to have Alya along as well."

She giggled, as heavenly of a sound as ever. "Yeah, that'd be fun. But it's not quite warm enough for that yet," she said and tugged at his jeans jacket—another Marinette original he had commissioned from her. He loved wearing clothes that she made and not only because they looked amazing and fit him perfectly. She put so much effort into them, so he wanted to show her talent to the world. He was so proud of her.

"Maybe we could make a bet with Fé and if he loses, then he'll be the one who'll have to disguise himself as a girl this time," Adrien snickered and a mischievous smile took over his face. His brother would, of course, never agree to such a thing, but the thought alone was amusing enough.

"I don't think he'd agree to a bet like that. He has a reputation to uphold after all," Marinette said with an equally amused expression.

Comfortable silence settled on them until Marinette let out a delighted gasp and ran forwards again. Adrien first thought that something inspirational had caught her eye once more, so that he was absolutely unprepared when it turned out to be someone.

"Mel!" Marinette called and Adrien absolutely froze. Only for a moment though, because he quickly caught up to her and the blonde that was now turning around with a smile.

"Oh, hello dearie. Out for some fresh air?" She asked and then her eyes met his. "And Adrien too! I haven't seen you in months! How are you and Félix holding up?"

Adrien tried his absolute hardest not to frown. He knew that Mélusine knew Marinette and he also knew that Marinette knew that Mélusine knew Félix and him. But to address him in public while Marinette was right there was risky anyways. Then again, it was the middle of the day, so most of the fair folk were probably asleep. Which begged the question why Mélusine was up and about.

"We're doing good," he said shortly and then gently tugged at Marinette's arm. "Maybe we should go back, otherwise Nino will eat all the cake."

Marinette blinked at him, confused. "In a minute," she then said and turned back around to Mélusine.

"Do go on, dearie. I have errands to run anyways. Maybe stop by for some tea next week though?"

"I'd love to!" Marinette practically beamed.

"Adrien, can I have a word with you? It's been a while and something has come up," Mélusine suddenly said and Adrien swallowed.

"I'll catch up in a minute," he said to Marinette who just nodded with a smile—ignorance truly was bliss.

"I'm just gonna go over there for a bit," she pointed to her right. "I saw a nice flower garden that way earlier and wanted to check it out," she said and just like that she was off.

"You're horribly reckless, kitten," Mélusine said once Marinette was out of earshot and he flinched.

"What?"

Chloé's very similar words from Samhain ghosted through his mind.

"Stop being so reckless. You're putting us all in danger."

"She noticed that you tried to get her away from me. If you want her to stay ignorant, you have to be more subtle about pulling her away from the fair folk."

Adrien blanched. She was right. He hadn't considered that at all, only thinking as far as getting Marinette away from any fae influence and then inventing a fitting lie for any weirdness afterwards. Now that Mélusine pointed it out, it was horribly obvious.

"I'm glad I just saw it and could point it out to you since you don't have the luxury of making any mistakes."

His mind immediately offered the image of an absolutely insane Chat Noir from the Dark Cupid fight. Videos of it were all over the Ladyblog so that he had the opportunity to observe his biggest slip up yet from an outsider's perspective.

"I know," he said guiltily and looked in the direction Marinette had disappeared into. Mélusine patted his head.

"Cheer up, kitten. Now that you know it, you can avoid it. And with the Akuma attacks you even have good excuses for a lot of weirdness, so that works in your favour."

Adrien wore a strained smile. That would work if Marinette didn't also happen to be Ladybug. He could feel Plagg squirm in the pocket of his jacket.

"I hope you will visit me again soon. It seems like not only Félix needs some advice and education."

And with a last fond ruffling of his hair, she was off, basking in the beauty of this sunny spring afternoon.