Chapter 55: Is This True?
Meredith walked into her office and tore her scrub cap off; her hair fell long against her back as she paced in an irritated manner around the walls of her office. Her eyes burned as tears started to form and she looked at all the placards on the wall, all the achievements that she won and won and earned rightfully so. She had lived a good life, and achieved a lot in her twenty-eight years, but she still felt as if she had just begun.
Sure, she did become a good doctor an excellent surgeon, she was sought after all over the world and her name was published in medical books. But she had a daughter that she was just getting to know, and a husband of only a few months. She knew now that life wasn't all about surgery, and there were more important things than cutting.
She felt robbed, her life was finally starting to mean something significant, and all of the sudden it was a train wreck of the possibility of losing it. She heard the office door open swiftly and slam shut, she didn't have to turn around to see who it was, she already knew. Slowly she turned to face his watery deep blue eyes, so full of despair.
"What the hell was that?!" Derek demanded.
"What the hell do you think it was?" Meredith glowered back. "Apparently Addison still hasn't grown into keeping her mouth shut."
"Were you going to tell me?" he started to feel his voice shake. How long have you known, I mean, were you going to tell me at all!"
"Of course, I was going to tell you!" she shouted as tears pooled in her eyes. "I had just found out myself for god sakes. I was at least going to wait until after surgery!"
So, it's true then? He gulped at the knot in his throat.
"Yeah." She sniffled as her voice trailed off into a squeak. She sunk down into the office chair behind her desk as the tears broke through and started running down her face. She leaned forward into her hands and felt her chest shake a few times before his hand caressed up and down her back.
"It's ok." He whispered into her ear, "It'll be ok. There are lots of options and we will do whatever we have to, to keep you alive.
"I'm not afraid of death, Derek." She cried and looked up at him "I already know that I'm not going to die."
"Oh." He said, unaware of what else to say.
Meredith let a sob out and then took in a deep breath "I'm pissed!
"You're pissed?" he frowned.
"Yes," she shrieked. "This is such a fucking inconvenience! Do you know how many surgeries I'm going to miss, do you know how many times Bella will come home crying over a boy or wanting to know how to put make up on and not look like a hooker, and I might not be there because It'll be throwing up chemotherapy or here getting my boobs butchered! So yeah Derek, I'm pissed!"
"You're pissed." He said.
And then to both of their surprise he broke into a fit of laughter. She stared at him precariously and soon burst into her own laughter. They laughed hard, and the more they tried to stop they laughed harder. He pulled her into him and soon they were laughing so hard their cheeks were wet with tears, the laughter died down and the tears still flowed but they held tightly onto one another.
"I can't believe this is happening." She sniffled.
"I know." He whispered as he placed a kiss on her temple. "We'll get through it."
"I mean," she sighed. "I smoked a pack a week at least for ten years, I screwed everything with a pulse, the one thing I haven't damaged with poor choices are my boobs and now they're trying to kill me?" she sighed heavily It's just not fair."