"And that one's definitely no good." Buffy flung the low cut top onto the heap of clothing on the bed and turning back to her closet with a sigh.
Obi-Wan was hiding in the refresher, taking a call on his comlink and staying well away from her muttering. Not that he was any help when it came to making important clothing choices. When she'd asked his opinion, his teasing suggestion of 'why don't you wear your Jedi robes?' had gone down like a lead balloon, or whatever this dimension's version of a lead balloon was.
"Jedi robes!" Buffy muttered to herself, throwing the offending robe onto her bed. "As if!"
She screwed her nose up, frowning at her limited wardrobe. She was due to meet Palpatine in... literally minutes, but was having a hard time deciding what to wear. Being this dimension's version of Lord Vader created a whole new set of clothing problems that Anakin Skywalker never had to deal with. To start, Anakin never had to worry about Dark Sid leering down his top. Nor did he have to worry about showing too much skin. Mini skirts were very much out because Sid had nasty creeping hands and Buffy could just imagine what that would lead to. The thought made her feel a little sick. She shuddered.
So she needed to find something safe to wear (trousers and a roll neck), and then she needed to think color. For instance, that cute white combat suit she'd bought simply because it reminded her of something Padmé had worn in one of the films? That one was out. It made her look like a clone trooper and she didn't want to give Sid ideas. She flung the cute outfit on the bed behind her and frowned at what remained in the closet. Last night's slaying outfit was also out. A full black outfit was too Vader-y. Dark Sid might not know Darth Vader's theme tune but she did. She didn't want to be humming it as she marched along at Palpatine's side.
Oh, and that reminded her! What if Sid asked where the Vader helmet had got to? The last time she'd seen it was in Obi-Wan's Temple bedroom; her crazy Jedi had claimed it, saying he was impressed with all its useful features. Andrew had been really unhappy. He'd claimed Obi-Wan Kenobi should be kept away from Darth Vader's helmet as it was an insult to George Lucas and Star Wars fans in general. Personally, she thought it more likely that he was sulking about not being able to claim it for himself.
She'd no idea why either of them would want to go near it. It gave her claustrophobia, not to mention flat hair.
The door to the 'fresher slid open with a soft whoosh and Obi-Wan appeared, hovering in the doorway. He was dressed in his usual Jedi robes and clutching the creepy wooden box they'd found the night before.
"The Jedi investigation team have contacted me," he said, making his way across to her and carefully not looking at the heap of clothing strewn across the bed. "They're on their way to the palace right now and it's important I meet them. I'll be handing over the artifacts we found and then they'll research their significance further and get back to us."
"That's good they're coming to collect. I really don't like that bone."
Obi-Wan nodded, knowing how creeped out she felt about the Sith relic. He didn't like it either but hadn't admitted the depths of his own dislike for the Sith's appendage.
Last night, Buffy had made him lock the dead man's finger inside a small medical cabinet inside their refresher. She'd told him she was worried in case it reanimated into a full finger and crawled around the bedroom during the night. Obi-Wan had done his best to play down her fears. He'd assured her that fingers coming to life wasn't something that normally happened in his dimension and she needn't worry. But as usual with Buffy's suggestions, it played on his mind. Before going to bed he'd gone back into the 'fresher, barricaded the medicine cabinet door and then lain awake listening for odd scratching noises.
Obi-Wan placed his hands on either side of her face and planted a lingering kiss to her lips, before saying, "It will mean I shan't be able to accompany you to the meeting with Palpatine. However, don't leave without me. Delay him and stay in an open and public place. I don't want you going anywhere alone with him and I shan't be too long."
"I won't," Buffy promised him. She could feel the Jedi being torn between his duty to the Jedi Order and his concern for her.
After a swift kiss goodbye, Obi-Wan left her. It was getting close to the dreaded appointment time and she was still no closer to being ready. Normally being late didn't worry her, but this time it did. If Sid came looking for her, and found her half-dressed, he might think she'd given in and was planning on seducing him. He wasn't the sort of guy who took subtle hints. Not once he got something buzzing inside his head.
In the end, she chose navy leggings, boots, a gauzy tunic in rainbow fabric and covered everything with a soft Nabooan cloak. She wore the cloak mainly to hide all the weapons she carried. It wasn't as if she enjoyed carrying so many different weapons, it was more to do with being prepared for anything this dimension might throw at her. Something she'd learned first hand after finding herself on Jango Fett's hit list...
…
When Buffy arrived at the entrance hall she was relieved to find the Supreme Chancellor wasn't already waiting for her, tapping his foot impatiently. She looked around, the main hall thronged with people at this hour, but Buffy knew even, as she looked about her, that Obi-Wan wasn't here. She couldn't sense him in any of the rooms beyond this one either, which meant he must still be tied up with the Jedi investigation team. Hopefully, he'd arrive before Palpatine.
She spent several minutes being jostled from one side of the hall to the other by the bustling crowd, until she spotted an empty chair by one of the doorways. She took a seat next to a family of rowdy long-eared Gungans. Daddy Gungan, Mommy Gungan and two baby Gungan's all bickering happily away together. After a while, they were called into a nearby office and it became much quieter. A few other people wandered through the hallway, but there was still no sign of Palpatine or Obi-Wan.
Buffy fiddled with the neckline of her cloak. Was she in the right hallway? She'd been sure this was the right one, but it was odd that neither Palpatine or Obi-Wan were here. Had something happened? She didn't want to mind-buzz Ubi in case he'd been held up by the Jedi team. She'd need to wait a little longer.
Finally, she spotted one of the Queen's handmaidens coming out of a side room. They all looked alike, especially when cloaked, but she was fairly certain this one was Sabé. Jumping from her seat she blurted, "Do you know where the Supreme Chancellor's is?"
Sabé crossed over to her in a swish of orange-red robes. "The Nabooan news crews are here. He and the Queen are being interviewed," whispered Sabé. "I have to go now. Oh, I like your hair, by the way. Trix did a great job." She gave Buffy a quick smile, before darting off to another office at the back of the hall, leaving Buffy sitting all alone again on her heavily padded chair.
After what felt like ages to Buffy, a door opened and the Supreme Chancellor appeared, dressed in the Nabooan outfit of padded breeches, doublet and a long navy robe. His dark eyes immediately focussed on the Slayer and he set off towards her, a crowd of people following on his heels.
"Buffy! Sweetheart, so sorry to keep you waiting!"
Feeling uncomfortable, she rose slowly to her feet trying not to look at the onlookers standing behind him. The Sith simpered, grabbing both her hands in his and placing a tender kiss on both her cheeks. Keeping the fake smile fixed on her face and repressing a shudder, she clearly heard soft crows of delight coming from the watching people. Not to mention comments such as 'Oh he's so sweet' and 'isn't he romantic?'.
"These are journalists from Nabooan News Daily, along with several camera crews," Palpatine whispered in her ear. "Turn around, smile, and play nice."
Tugging her possessively against him, his arm clamped around her waist, he leaned his cheek towards her and kept the simpering smirk on his face. Cameras clicked, film rolled, and questions began.
"Lord Vader, have you come to Naboo for personal reasons or in a professional capacity?"
"Lord Vader! Is it true you and the Supreme Chancellor are planning a secluded holiday at your love nest on the Palpatine estate?"
"Lord Vader, what do you know about the murder of a guard and the desecration of priceless artifacts at the Jafan museum last night?"
"Lord Vader, is it true that you're about to launch your own brand of make-up and lingerie?"
Buffy tried to maintain the false smile as she blinked at the torrent of fast questions. "Er, I'm only here for the flower festival. Because, I... er, love all kinds of flowers."
"That's will be all for now. The interview with Lord Vader is over," growled Palpatine in a voice that tolerated no argument.
The camera crew and journalist melted away. Buffy thought it a pity Sid's arm hadn't melted off at the same time. She was sure she could feel his hand inching its way down from her waist.
With a quick sideways step, she pulled from his clutches and turned with a questioning raised brow. "What's the what?"
The Dark Lord regarded her sourly, all pretense of the simpering lover gone. The air chilled around them and Buffy sensed darkness moving in. "What's the what?" he repeated. "That really should be my question, Lord Vader. You neglected to inform me those vampires you fought were in the museum lower storage rooms. My ownpriceless artifacts have been ransacked and destroyed!" The Sith spat the words, his face dark and uncompromising. "I've treated you well, took you on as part of my staff and, in return, all I ask is absolute loyalty. Not to find that you've been withholding information. That makes me angry. Very, very angry."
Buffy noticed his hands were twitching and the atmosphere between them was electric. The hall was empty since he'd sent everyone away. Would he zap her and tell everyone he'd found her dead with her finger stuck in a power outlet?
"Did they steal anything important?" She kept her voice even, refusing to apologize or back down to the Sith Lord. Knowing instinctively he'd see it as a weakness and seek to control her.
Sid looked shifty. "Priceless items have been damaged. Nothing seems to be missing."
"Ubi and I managed to kill four of the six vampires who were smashing up artifacts. The others ran off while we were fighting. We both stayed to speak to the authorities, but we'd no idea whose property they'd damaged or if the vampires had stolen anything." She tried to look innocent and asked, "Do you think they were after Sithy stuff?"
Palpatine's eyes bore into her, his tongue coming out to moisten dry lips. "We both know the Jedi have a love of getting their sticky pads," Buffy had a feeling he meant Yoda by the pads comment, "on Sith items. I imagine Sith artifacts would be no less tempting to Jedi vampires." His expression became introverted and he mused, "Inside the Jedi Temple there are many rooms crammed with artifacts stolen from the Sith. You live there, Buffy. Don't you feel them calling out to you? All that power, all that knowledge..." He was swaying, almost drooling. "They simply beg to those of a certain 'calling' to break-in and free from them from the confines of their Jedi prisons."
"Andrew got caught trying to jiggle the lock of the forbidden holocron room when we were searching for information on Vengeance demons," replied Buffy. She knew she wasn't telling him anything new, Jocasta Nu had been very vocal about Andrew's antics to anyone who'd listen. "Do you think the Jedi have Sith skeletons hidden away in there as well?" Maybe the Sith Lord would let something slip regarding Sith rituals that involved the use of skeletons?
"Who knows what they have locked away in there," murmured Sid. "I've often thought about how much pleasure I'd have investigating those forbidden rooms." He gave her a dark grin. "Perhaps, at some point, the Jedi will feel the need to 'downsize' and we can make the place our home. I've often looked at the building and thought with some redecorating it could become quite a palace. As it is now, it's a depressing, monstrosity of a building that should..."
"Supreme Chancellor! Please accept my most sincere apologies for being so tardy," called Obi-Wan, his voice cutting through their conversation as he hurried along the hallway towards them. He came to a stop beside them and gave a polite, if stiff, bow to the Sith, before looking over at Buffy. Worry darkened his eyes and there was a crease between his brows. "Have I missed anything?" he asked.
"Nothing exciting," replied Buffy.
She sensed agitation from Obi-Wan. The Jedi wanted desperately to tell her something and wondered what it could be. It must be something the Jedi Investigators had told him. Something he didn't want to say or mind-link in case Sid overheard or sensed.
Buffy went on, "The paparazzi were here earlier taking photos and asking about the vampires we found smashing up the museum. The Supreme Chancellor says that there's nothing missing." She gave Obi-Wan a significant look, to let him know Palpatine was either hiding his theft or hadn't realized the items were there in the first place. She'd love to know if this was a deep game the Sith was playing or if the vampires were more devious than him. "I guess, we must have been in time to stop them stealing anything."
"But not in time to stop the desecration of countless irreplaceable antiquities," Palpatine scowled at Obi-Wan. This was no doubt all the Jedi's fault. "Next time, Kenobi, if anything similar happens, make sure I'm informed straight away. Lord Vader should have come straight to my room. Instead, you stopped her from performing her official duties. Wasting her time with your pathetic hairdressing attempt." With a haughty smirk, he added, "Buffy need not worry about a frosty reception if she comes banging on my bedroom door in the middle of the night." He licked his lips. "It isn't as if she's a stranger to seeing me in a state of undress."
Buffy cringed, her cheeks flooding with a combination of mortification and outrage. That was said purposely to upset Obi-Wan! She felt a flash of anger from the Jedi before it was quickly smothered.
"What a pretty shade of red your cheeks have become, my pretty," crooned Palpatine to Buffy.
To an onlooker, it would seem the Slayer held his full attention, yet the Sith's senses were riveted on the Jedi next to him. That flash of quickly stifled anger had betrayed the Jedi's feelings. Was the apprentice setting himself up as a rival to a powerful Sith Lord? A mere weakling of a Force user with nothing to recommend him except unblemished skin?
Palpatine regarded the Dark Jedi, a sneer curling his lips. "What's wrong Kenobi? Does the fact that Lord Vader is intimately acquainted with me offend you? Are you... perhaps... jealous?" he chuckled.
~Please stay calm. If he knows he's got to you, he wins.~ Buffy sent a wave of reassurance to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan had no intention of allowing the Sith to goad him. He gave the man an almost pleasant smile. "Indeed not, Supreme Chancellor. Buffy is a free agent and can do as she likes. I'm merely disappointed you found my hairdressing skill so lacking in finesse. Your censure only shows me that I need to try harder." He flashed Buffy a warm grin that showed his dimples. "And that I need to practice far more often. I'm lucky Buffy has been so forbearing during my first bumbling efforts, but, as with anything, the more you practice the better you become. There's no doubt, with her continuing help, I'll soon have full mastery of a skill I've been missing out on for so long."
The Sith Lord's eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared and his hands twitched. He glared at the Jedi, vibrating with suspicion and building rage. Kenobi responded with unwavering tranquillity. The Jedi was baiting him. He could sense it but wasn't able to prove it. His hands twitched. How he'd love to release his powers on Squeaky Clean Kenobi! Only the long-established control in hiding his secret identity held him in check now. Kenobi needed to go. Buffy would have to find herself a new apprentice. He'd no doubt she'd soon have another Jedi trotting around at her heels, there were, after all, a number of Jedi-Scoobies who'd would take that position.
"So what's this surprise gift you've got for me?" asked Buffy, who was beginning to choke on testosterone fumes.
"Hmm?" Palpatine pulled his eyes away from Kenobi. "Gift? Ah, yes!"
Palpatine's anger died down to its usual background simmer as he thought of his gift. That would stick in Squeaky Clean's craw! It would be fun to watch the Sith Queen's reaction when she saw only a sample of what he was could offer. If he'd read the Slayer correctly, she'd be as excited by it as his other apprentice had been. Of course, with Buffy, there was the added bonus of how she might like to thank him. A small cackle of delight escaped and he quickly put a hand to his mouth. Becoming over-excited in a public place would not do.
Once he'd got himself back under control he drawled, "I've got a speeder waiting to transport us. I'll collect my black cloak and we can be off."