Hidden Tales From The Chamber of Secrets - 83 Raspberry
by Polydicta
A continuation of the fruit theme. Harry has developed a bit of a silly habit ...
Disclaimer:
All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.
There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.
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Hidden Tales From The Chamber of Secrets - 83 Raspberry
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Harry had developed a bit of a silly habit. He would get himself confused when speaking (particularly when angry), and in order to clear the tubes, so to speak, he would blow a wet raspberry and try again.
He knew better than to do this when using magic, but ...
The first time it happened was leaving the Shrieking Shack when that arse Snape was being his usual cretinous self with a hate-on for Sirius Black, anyone named Potter and Remus Lupin.
As Snape was getting into high gear, Harry's temper got away from him. He snatched up his wand and ... blanked.
"PBPBPBPBPBPBPBPB!"
There was a ripple of magic and Snape's robes were shredded, turned bubble-gum pink and the vile man himself took on the appearance and consistency of a 3-day old lump of fluorescent ,bile-green Silly Putty with a sour face and noisy flatulence.
Not ten minutes later, Peter Pettigrew attempted to escape. Harry's temper was still seething over the Git Snape, and once more he blanked, letting out an extended raspberry as he swung his wand between Professor Lupin, Sirius Black and Pettigrew.
Lupin became a wolf-faced turkey with wings instead of legs, Sirius Black became a heaving, purple dollop of what could only be semi-sentient blackcurrant jam. Pettigrew was transformed into ... well, it was sort of mottled green and yellow, vaguely rat-shaped with far too many footless legs sticking out of its back, a tail shaped like a morning-star mace made out of blue rubber, legs made out of something distinctly oozy and a head that was pulled back so that it could only look at the sky past it's six-foot long, crumpled nose.
This was the scene that greeted Albus Dumbledore as he emerged from the castle to see what the fuss was all about.
Suffice it to say that when the Minister of Magic, one Cornelius Fudge tried to have Black kissed by a dementor, he ended up becoming a vile-green bowler hat with clown-feet and an enormous, bulbous, potato-like nose (with a bushy moustache) whose irritatingly squeaky voice kept ranting about how he would "make him pay for this".
Strangely, no one ever managed to undo Harry's transfigurations of The Minister or Professor Snape.
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