Obi-Wan and the question of the Dark Holocron
"I need to speak to you before we go into the meeting," Buffy said to Obi-Wan, as she walked out of the 'fresher.
After returning from the spaceport the two had gone straight to Buffy's room in the palace. Once out of earshot of Palpatine, Obi-Wan had explained that the call he'd taken was from the Jedi investigators, who'd relayed a message from the Jedi Temple. The Temple needed to speak to them before they set off to the Lake country. They'd scheduled a long-distance holo-call to the palace and were expecting him, and Buffy, to be ready and waiting in the communication room at the given time.
Obi-Wan confessed that he'd no idea what the meeting was about, the investigator had been evasive with his answers and with Palpatine in the same room he'd not wanted to push him for answers. The Jedi suspected it would be regarding the missing skeletons from Jar Jar's room. Obi-Wan also voiced his hope that the Council might have discovered evidence of Palpatine's Sith allegiance. But Buffy knew that was probably wishful thinking on the Jedi's part.
Obi-Wan looked up at her words and then back to the mirror as he took in his reflection. He'd just changed out of his robes into a pair of dark navy trousers, cream shirt, and a black waistcoat that Buffy had picked out for him. He'd even added a low slung belt with a blaster attached to his leg since they were going undercover and he'd need to hide his lightsaber. The Jedi wasn't impressed with the look.
Buffy had told him the outfit would make him look like a young and cute 'Han Solo', whoever that was. Obi-Wan scowled at himself in the mirror, there weren't enough pockets in this waistcoat and he looked like a smuggler or a spice runner. The spaceport authorities would most likely stop him and search him dressed like this. He gave his beloved brown robe a longing look before reaching for the short leather jacket and his utility belt.
"What do you want to talk about?" he asked, only half attending as he took the Sith holocron from out his robe pocket. It wouldn't do to leave that lying around unattended.
"You," Buffy answered. She cast a considering eye over the outfit he wore. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not now. Maybe she preferred him in his robes after all, although those trousers did hug on his butt snugly. "What was going on with you when we were touring the new ship? It's not like you to look at a bedroom and say you've got the sudden urge to drag me in there and make love to me." Obi-Wan flushed and Buffy continued, " And it's extra weird to do it when a guy you know is a Sith is almost standing next to us."
Obi-Wan went even pinker. "Er..."
Seeing he'd become choked up with mortification, Buffy went over and smoothed out the neckline of his shirt, before caressing his cheek. He was a Jedi, stolen from his family as a baby, and being in a relationship was a new experience for him. She knew he needed careful handling where his feelings were concerned. Standing on tiptoe she placed a soft kiss onto his lips.
"It isn't that I don't like you telling me," she reassured him. "Because I do. I feel the same way about you and it's totally normal with someone you're in love with. What bothered me is that it isn't like you to say it. And doing it in front of Sid..." Her words trailed away, letting her words sink in. "Was it the ship affecting you? Or did Palpatine say or do something beforehand to make you lose control?"
Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around her. Through his clothing, he felt the warmth of her body, her physical touch a soothing balm after so much contact with the Dark Side. He breathed out, releasing the anxiety and frustration that until now he hadn't realized he'd been harboring and feeling himself relax.
"I didn't lose control," he replied, placing a light kiss in her forehead. "That's what I was thinking at the time."
His brown creased on realizing what he'd just said. A Jedi didn't voice all his thoughts. A Jedi monitored his words, weighing them up before speaking out loud. He wasn't a youngling. All those years spent with Qui-Gon learning how to negotiate difficult peace treaties had taught him the discipline of keeping his mouth shut, especially when in the presence of politicians. Buffy was right his behavior had been decidedly odd.
Obi-Wan's arms curled tighter around her, pulling her in even closer, seeking more reassurance. He could feel the softness of her body under one of his hands and hardness of the holocron that he held in his other. The holocron had been in his hand when he'd made that comment to her. Had its energies affected him? Had it made him speak his deepest feelings aloud? Obi-Wan remembered the comments he'd said to Palpatine before they'd boarded the ship. He'd told him the Sith were ugly, scuttled in the shadows like roaches, and needed eradicating from the galaxy. He winced. Was that the effect of the holocron, the Sith, the ship, a combination of all three or something else entirely?
Pressing his forehead against Buffy's. His arms tightening around her, breathing in the fresh, clean scent of her and thought over what had happened. The holocron had lain forgotten in his pocket all day and he hadn't spoken aloud his deepest desires earlier. That had only happened when he'd held it. He held it now. Did he have the urge to speak his deepest desires?
Obi-Wan waited, reaching into himself, searching for any hint of something untoward. He felt nothing amiss. Not realizing that at the moment he'd no deep desires or fears that he needed to remain unvoiced; forgetting that everything he wanted was in his arms and the Sith lord was out of sight.
"It might have been the ship," he said slowly. "Yes, that must have been it. One of the masters was sent to check the ship after it had been discovered. I believe he reported it gave him the urge to go off on un-Jedi like adventures into the unknown zone."
"Ah, that explains it. Sid asked me if I'd developed any odd urges when we were on board the ship. I thought he was being skeevy at first. Then he asked me if I'd got the dark urges." Buffy took a step back, untangling herself from Obi-Wan's arms.
As she pulled her warmth and calming presence away from him, Obi-Wan felt a sharp pang of emptiness. He opened his mouth, the words 'don't leave' hovering on his tongue. He closed his mouth again. Buffy was only turning away to pick up her coat so that she was ready for the meeting. She wasn't leaving him. What was wrong with him?
Obi-Wan looked down at the small, pyramid-shaped holocron lying in his hand and hurriedly slipped it into his coat pocket. It may have been the ship or it could be the holocron causing him to speak without thinking. Perhaps, it would be better if he didn't handle this holocron too much in the future.
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