A/N: A big thanks to SirenBanshee. You are one amazing beta!
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An hour later, Ember met up with him and Phasma, and they walked towards the training hall.
"Have they all gathered?" Kylo asked.
Phasma sighed. "It would seem Shadow has disappeared again, sir."
He glanced at Ember, who shrugged. "I was able to find her earlier and deliver the order. I doubt she left in between then and now."
Kylo grumbled and worried his lips. "I'm not going to force her into anything," he said, "but I can't let this go on either. We'll discuss how to deal with this later."
They arrived at the hall and, as was his habit in general, he regarded the room with all his senses, including the Force. He steeled his face as he noticed a discrepancy between his eyes and what the Force told him.
Slowly, he allowed his gaze to roam the room again, with the pretence of checking the four Knights assembled and the cushions strewn on the floor. It was only a very slight shift of the darkness' quality that told him Shadow was standing in the far corner. He allowed his gaze to pass her without lingering.
He turned to look at Ember and saw her frowning. Her eyes were zipping through the room and her stance was stiff. Kylo caught her gaze, nodding once. Ember blinked and nodded back before relaxing. It warmed him that she would simply trust his word.
Facing the Knights, he addressed them. "Ember has relayed to me that there are questions about what the next steps would be if you were to accept my offer," he said. "More specifically about the reason for meditation."
He summoned one of the pillows and promptly sat down. Ember followed suit and the creak of armour told him that Phasma had done the same. He would tell her she was free to leave if he weren't sure she would flat-out refuse. It was very clear to him that she still didn't trust the Knights.
"Seat yourselves," Kylo prompted when the Knights remained standing.
They stared at him, various looks of confusion in their eyes. It was a telltale sign of how confused they really were that he could recognise it on their faces at all. Eventually, surprisingly, it was Dot who lowered herself down first.
One by one, the others followed.
"As you all undoubtedly know," Kylo started once they were all seated, "we speak of a Light side and Dark side of the Force. Historically speaking, the Jedi were representatives of the Light side, the Sith of the Dark side. Both, however, use forms of meditation to enhance their connection with the Force.
"When I reconnected Ember with the Force, I did not teach her how to meditate first. One of the first exercises, however, once you learn to connect with the Force, is to recognise both sides of it and learn how they coexist."
He glanced at Ember to ask her permission. Seemingly understanding what he was asking of her, she shrugged at him.
Kylo took a breath. "I almost lost Ember to the Dark."
"I almost lost myself," she ventured.
The four Knights' heads snapped towards her, betraying their shock.
"But, you didn't?" Burman asked her before turning towards Kylo. "You managed to pull her back?"
"I managed to snap her out of it, yes, but barely." Kylo shook his head at the memory. "This is why I think it's prudent you learn how to meditate before I attempt to reconnect you. The lure of the Dark will be strong in all of you. It preys on emotions of anger, and on bad memories."
He paused, watching realisation sink in.
"If you are familiar with the techniques of meditation, I'm hoping you'll be able to focus better and be more guarded against the Dark's lure."
"I thought you were part of the Dark," Shadow's voice said from the back.
The four Knights plus Phasma shot up from their seats and took up defensive positions. Kylo remained seated, as did Ember. Upon seeing this, Phasma settled back down as well.
"You knew I was here all the time?" Shadow asked.
"Yes," Kylo answered simply. "Come, join us." He waved a hand towards the cushions, then dragged it through his hair. "Snoke was definitely a Sith lord," he said, then faltered.
He hated having to admit what he was about to say. It still felt as a weakness to him, even though he no longer agreed with the doctrine. The changes in his thinking were too fresh. Still, he knew that he would have to be a hundred percent honest in order to convince the Knights.
"One of my shortcomings," he said once the four Knights had settled down again, "was that I was still too susceptible to the Light. I was never able to fully surrender to the Dark. It made me … unstable."
Daze snorted once, then froze both in face and posture, undoubtedly realising what he'd done. Kylo gazed at him for a bit, surprised at the—for a Knight—completely outrageous reaction, then turned away to watch Shadow finally sit down next to Burman. The latter gave her an encouraging nod.
"So, to answer your question: No, I never fully belonged to the Dark. It used to be my goal. Now, it no longer is."
"What is?" Dot asked brusquely.
He looked at her, wondering what he could answer to that. The balance between what was safe to say and gaining their trust was a delicate one.
"Finding a better way," he finally answered.
The five Knights' gazes felt heavy. He knew they were sizing him up, trying to determine his worth.
"Change is seldom this clear," Quicksilver said.
Daze hummed in agreement.
"I don't get what you just said," Burman said, turning to regard Quicksilver.
"You never get anything, Burman," Ember sniped.
The Knight didn't seem offended but merely turned to Shadow. "Did you get it?"
Shadow shrugged and mumbled something. Kylo thought he heard 'later' among the few words but wasn't certain. Dot's eyes were still trained on him.
Kylo regarded the group in front of him and felt something akin to fondness swell in his chest. Even though he barely knew them, he was starting to sense how they would work together. If he could get them to open up, there was the potential of them becoming good friends. There was hope.
Blinking, Kylo tried to dispel the feeling. He wondered when he'd become so emotional. Deciding to take matters back into his own hands, he spoke up.
"Despite the fact that you're welcome here and can take all the time you like to overthink my offer, I will not allow you to be idle any longer," he said.
The Knights all stiffened slightly, but he was glad to see they didn't fully go into what he was starting to call 'droid-mode'.
"First of all, I would appreciate it if you all would train my Guard."
He had discussed the matter of his Guard wanting to be able to fight Force-users with Phasma, even though he still hadn't found the opportunity to bring it up with Rey. Phasma had answered that she couldn't help him with the aspect of fighting the Force, but that she thought it would be a good start if the Guard learned how to fight the Knights' peculiar fighting styles.
Apparently, two of them had requested Ember for a spar and had been thoroughly beaten. Ember had told them they were quite good for Troopers, but they'd been appalled despite her assurance. It had given them the idea that they could only take on the Knights if they were vastly outnumbering them.
"Train them?" Shadow spoke up. "Like, we get to have a go at them? Do you really mean your Guard is going to attempt to take us on. Really? We can kick their butts? That should be fun. That should be really fun. I think I'm in. Yes, I am."
Kylo stared at her. Her chattering would take some getting used to. However, he was happy to hear her speak as he figured it meant she was more at ease.
"Train them," he finally answered, "not beat them to a pulp." He shook his head. "Please don't damage them."
Ember snorted. "They're not that bad," she said. "Don't think of them as mere Troopers. They're much better than that."
"They seem nice as well," Burman said.
"That's beside the point," Ember sighed, rolling her eyes.
"They are my Guard," Kylo spoke up, wanting to prevent the two of them from getting into an argument. "At this moment, they are discouraged by the realisation that they would, indeed, not stand a chance when it comes to a one-on-one combat with either of you. Therefore, I would like you all to train them. Make sure they can hold their ground."
"Sensible," Daze muttered.
Quicksilver nodded.
"Teach them whatever you please," Kylo added. "The more they know, the better. Also, keep in mind that other Knights will at one point arrive at this base as well. Teach them to defend against anything and everything you can come up with."
"Yes, sir," Shadow said with a greeting. The others followed suit.
"Secondly, I will start training you all in meditation starting today. This is separate from your answer to my offer. Apart from the Dark versus Light explanation I gave you, meditation will also be beneficial in general. It will help you with awareness and to direct focus. It will calm your mind without turning it into a blank canvas. It can help to order your thoughts."
They seemed unimpressed and Kylo sighed.
"It's also a good way to spend your time if you're getting bored," he added.
Ember burst out laughing and Kylo smirked at her.
"Okay," he said. "Let's get started. Make sure you're comfortable. Remove any restrictive clothing or weapons that poke or prod you."
The Knights stared at him in disbelief, then all turned their shocked eyes to watch Ember take her swords from her back and place them within easy reach on either side of her. Slowly, as if not entirely sure of his own actions, Daze unclipped the blasters on his sides and the one at his ankle, and placed them next to him as well. Dot put her bow on the ground and loosened the quiver a bit so it didn't pull at her leg.
"Good," Kylo encouraged. "Sit in a comfortable position. Standard is to sit cross-legged, with your hands on your knees, but any position is good as long as your back is straight and you can keep it up for a long time without having to put any tension on your muscles."
If the meditation hadn't been so very important, Kylo would have laughed at the way the Knights were doubting his instructions, yet were unwilling to defy them. Although they kept their faces neutral, as always, the way they moved around to settle in a comfortable position betrayed how they felt.
"Meditation isn't about emptying your mind," Kylo started explaining. "It's about accepting all and everything you think without giving it any attention. There are multiple techniques to achieve this goal.
"If you have a visual mind, you could try to hold an image in your mind. This can be anything, from your favourite weapon to a view of the stars. Hold onto the image as a focus point. Thoughts and emotions will come up—our mind is never truly silent—but let them pass. Once you notice you're giving them attention, you return to the image in your mind.
"Another option is to imagine a moving image instead of a still one. Think of your thoughts and emotions as clouds floating past, or ships flying by. Just watch them go by. Again, if you notice you're giving one of them attention, return to the image.
"A third option is to focus on your breathing. Count your breaths up until ten, then start again from one. Again and again. Breathing is one of the most important aspects of meditation. By breathing in a controlled manner, in through your nose and out your mouth, you calm both your body and mind."
He looked at the Knights. They all gazed back at him with a blank look in their eyes. Turning to his right, he saw that Ember had already sunk into her meditation. He was grateful to her for both showing what it was about and that she'd indeed learned.
"Don't be discouraged at first. It is not an easy thing to learn and it will only get better by repetition. You'll probably also find it tiring in the beginning. Your minds will wander often. When that happens, return your mind to whichever technique you've chosen.
"The key is in repeating it often, not in trying to meditate as long as possible. Today, we will meditate for 10 minutes only. The coming days I will meet you every day after lunch and we'll gradually start meditating longer.
"Now, I would like you all to choose one of the techniques I mentioned and close your eyes. Keep your breath deep and even. Phasma will keep guard. I trust her with my life. Additionally, I will also use the Force to keep an eye on any movement outside."
They all seemed highly uncomfortable, their muscles tensing at the idea of not being able to survey their surroundings. Every one of the five Knights glanced at Ember before reluctantly closing their eyes. Kylo closed them last and made good on his promise. Stretching his awareness with the Force, he kept a close eye on the occupants of the training hall, as well as the hallway beyond.