Something Endearing

The spinning, humming, strawberry-pudding-feast mess of Fuwa Sho had woken him up at 2 am to drink all his beer and declare himself not scary. He felt like he should be angry, but instead he was intrigued. Whisky and men indeed. He looked at Sho- tousled blond hair, spike-ridden jacket strewn over the armrest, leather pants ending in slippered feet. He was wearing an outfit similar to the one he'd had on the day they met at the studio, which made all of his playfulness tonight even more bizarre. Not in a bad way, though, Koga admitted to himself. There was something endearing about a man in leather joyfully licking strawberry pudding off a spoon. Certainly not the drunken companion he'd imagined, though. Koga let out a short laugh. At least he wasn't alone.

Sho was fiddling with the label on his empty bottle. A small smile flitted across his face when Koga laughed, then disappeared into an unfocused stare. He glanced sideways, catching Koga watching him. He leaned back against the couch, keeping steady eye contact as he shifted. Sho's gaze drifted down to fixate on his lips. By reflex, Koga licked his lips. Sho's eyes widened intriguingly at the movement.

He could kiss him.

He could almost convince himself everything tonight was on purpose. Sho's sudden appearance. His casual touches. That look he gave him in the kitchen. And if he was wrong— worst case, he could blame it on the alcohol. Or the pudding.

Why not?

Koga leaned forward, setting his bottle on the table as he closed the distance between himself and Sho. He glanced at Sho's lips parted as if in anticipation, then back up at his eyes.

Eyes clouded with uncertainty. Koga cursed at himself and grabbed Sho's empty bottle out of his hand as an excuse for his movement, setting it down on the table. He could swear he heard an exhale-of relief?- from Sho.

Focus. It didn't matter that Sho had come here on his own. Koga remembered the way he'd left. There was no way in hell he should open himself up to another straight man this soon- especially not just for a friends-with-benefits type relationship with someone who smelled like strawberries. Definitely not with a man so obviously struggling with the simple fact of accepting Koga's sexuality.

Koga hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck. Distraction needed. He grabbed the remote and clicked on the television, flipping channels until he found a B-grade horror film halfway over and just getting to the gruesome parts. Sho stood up without a word and stumbled into the kitchen, emerging with an armful of beers and pudding. He sat back down next to Koga and ripped open two puddings simultaneously. The light of the screen reflected off their faces, their only reactions the occasional grunt or chuckle at an especially random or poorly shot attack.

Soon, the table was covered with empty beer cans and pudding containers. Koga leaned back against the sofa, finally relaxed. He could handle friendship with a straight man. It would be easy enough to keep it separate since sober Sho was so clearly awkward around him. Drunk Sho was another matter. Koga gave him a side-eye. The younger man's eyes were heavy-lidded as he slumped against the back of the couch, still trying to focus on the movie. The last pudding container rested empty against his leg. Koga promised himself to keep strawberry pudding stocked just in case an inebriated Sho popped up needing distraction again. Better overindulgence in sugar than having to dig himself out of the mess of temptation the drunken singer's constant physical attentions created.

Sho sighed sleepily next to him and shifted over in the seat, slumping sideways. He plopped his head down, using Koga's lap as a pillow without so much as a please. Koga started to shove him off, but Sho groaned, swatting at him.

"Make me move and I'll puke," Sho threatened.

"Puke on me and die," Koga snarled. This was exactly the type of blurred lines he was trying to avoid.

"Don't make me move then," Sho retorted, his muscles relaxing as he sank further into a comfortable position. Koga bit his lip. He wanted to just kick him off but was genuinely afraid for his lap - and his carpet - so he left him. Sho wouldn't remember anyways. And Koga would make sure he didn't take it for more than what it was: a drunk's convenience.

The movie ended, but Sho didn't move. Koga glanced down at him. He was fast asleep, his features still and peaceful as he lay on Koga's legs. The cool light of the television made him look paler than usual, more fragile. Koga let his fingers rub gently along the shaved side of Sho's head. He loved the feeling of a fresh buzz cut, smooth but fuzzy. Sho stirred, shifting his head farther back in Koga's lap. Koga froze, trying to ignore the shift in pressure that came with Sho's move- then snapped as he saw the wet spot of drool Sho had left on his leg. He pushed Sho up and off him, startling the singer awake.

"Hey!" Sho yelled, then clutched his stomach, doubling over. Koga shoved him toward the bathroom and stood to wipe off his pants as Sho relieved himself. Multiple times.

Several minutes later the groggy and definitely bedraggled singer emerged. Koga handed him a glass of water and an Advil, then pointed at the guest bedroom. Sho shook his head, grimacing.

"Now," Koga said.

"Not alone," Sho replied, surprising Koga. Koga scoffed to cover up his reaction and pushed Sho in front of him, opening the door to the bedroom and shoving the man onto the empty bed. Sho flopped flat, a smile finally crossing his face again. Koga turned to leave but Sho's hand reached out and grabbed his, pulling him backwards.

"I didn't want to say congratulations," Sho whispered. Koga stood very still, his eyes on the door. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the next words. "I don't think he's a good man."

Koga turned his face away, tugging his hand out of Sho's grip.

"Stay," Sho said, his voice anxious. Koga turned to look at him. Sho was flushed, his hair askew and his eyes strangely bereft as he reached out for Koga.

"No," Koga said softly. I'm gay, and you're not being fair, he wanted to say, but he left it at the one syllable.

"Please," Sho said, his eyes closing in slumber. Koga hesitated, taking a step toward the bed. Comfort- just comfort in company. That's all. He could rationalize it.

He's a straight man, his heart cried. Who is not going to understand why you're there with him in the morning.

Koga ripped a body pillow off the floor and tucked it in next to Sho, who smiled happily and snuggled himself against the full length of the pillow, falling into deep sleep almost instantly. Koga's fingers twitched, aching to steal the body pillow's place, realizing the full force of warmth he could wrap himself in and shove the consequences to goddamn tomorrow where they belonged.

Sighing, Koga turned and left. He closed the door with a soft click, resting his forehead against the wood. "Not scary, huh?" he whispered into the paneling. With a self-deprecating laugh, he pushed off the door and headed for his own, cold bed.