Song Writing

Sho groaned in agony, rolling on top of the giant pillow he'd found next to him. Such a nice, fluffy, giant warm pillow. He wanted it to eat his head and swallow his headache down into it's fluffy center, safe and protected from the obscene banging and rattling coming from the other side of the door.

The door which he didn't recognize. Sho sat straight up, then almost fell straight back down again, wincing against the blinding pain in his temples.

"Shit," he muttered, holding his head in his hands. "What did I drink." He looked around him, not recognizing the sparse furnishings of the room. "And where the eff did I land myself." Sho looked down. Fully clothed, still—unfortunately. Leather sucked to sleep in. He winced again as he stood, walking gingerly over to the closet. Track jackets and jeans and athletic pants. A hint of where he might have landed himself started to creep into Sho's dull morning brain and he winced a third time. "Shit."

He tried his best to replay the events of last night while he undressed. He had definitely come back to Tokyo, but why? His hotel in Jodogahama was an even better place to get wasted. Sho suddenly remembered and moaned at the stupidity of his own plan. He had wanted to congratulate Koga on snaring Tsuruga. It had seemed like a perfectly genius way to deny everything he was struggling with.

Idiot. If Koga saw through him and realized how messed up he was over the whole Tsuruga thing-how the whole idea was some desperate way to cover up his own desires... "Shit." Sho said again, the word muffled by the shirt he was pulling over his head. He pulled on a pair of Koga's track pants, irritated by how the cuffs covered his toes and dragged slightly on the floor behind him.

Unleashing his frustration on the door, Sho barged out of the guest bedroom and into the living room, blinking at the sharp brightness of daylight.

"Morning, Berry Boy," Koga called from the kitchen. "Tired of the chafing?" His tone was slightly mocking as he gestured with a frying pan at Sho's newly acquired outfit. Sho just grimaced at him, making his way over to the kitchen table gingerly, holding one hand against his head. He sank into a chair, watching Koga suspiciously for any signs he'd betrayed himself last night. There's no way Koga wouldn't flaunt his knowledge.

Koga brought in one plate full of breakfast delights and a second with dry toast and a glass full of tomato juice. Sho reached for the full plate and got a hand smack. He glared at Koga but took the toast and juice. "Hangover remedy?" he said.

"Diet options," Koga said around a mouthful of ham, eggs, and rice. "You consumed way too much sugar last night."

Sho stared at him in disbelief, then launched himself across the table to grab at the full plate. Koga whacked him with his fork this time, scooting his chair backwards and carrying the plate off with him. Sho's head pounded in revenge for his rapid movement. He sat back down, snatching the toast off his plate and gnawing at it furiously, covering his aching eyes with his hand. He finished first and went to stand up but Koga tsked him, gesturing at the plates.

"Your job," he said. "Kitchen too." Sho's jaw dropped. Koga merely pointed out into the living room. "I cleaned up your pudding containers. You do breakfast." Sho snarled but grabbed up the plates and cups, stalking into the kitchen and running hot water. He needed soap, right? And some kind of a rag or something. He muttered to himself as he banged around under Koga's sink, looking for supplies.

"Top of sink, left."

Sho mimicked his words childishly, grabbing a dish rag and soap from top left and diving in. He did a freaking fantastic job for his first time cleaning dishes ever. They were all almost sparkling, and sort of dry. Or not. Good enough. He wiped his hands on Koga's pants and threw the rag in the sink. Koga was sitting on the couch, watching television again.

Suddenly feeling awkward, Sho stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Maybe he should go clean the dishes again. Actually make them clean. He turned to go back.

"Still not done?"

Sho hesitated, caught.

"It's fine," Koga said, waving dismissively without looking away from the screen.

"I'm gonna head out. You probably have plans."

Koga looked over at him, his face curious. He shrugged.

"Not particularly," he said. "Unless you count finishing this show. I like to finish what I start."

"Not seeing, ah, Tsuruga?" Sho said, trying not to pause before saying his name.

Koga's eyes narrowed as he turned to look at Sho. "What's your game?" he said, his tone cool. Sho held his hands out in surrender, stepping back a pace.

"Nothing, nothing. Just figured you'd have plans. I don't have any problem with it," he said lamely. Nothing he was willing to share, anyways.

Koga seemed to deflate slightly, turning back to face the television. "No plans. Not today, and probably not ever."

A heartbeat passed as Sho's mind caught up to his hearing. His head jerked up as he processed the potential opening. "Ever?" he said, his voice too high for his own liking. He coughed and resaid it, lower. "Ever?"

Koga stood, shoving his hands into his pockets. He turned away from Sho and walked over to the window. Sho followed to stand beside him, wanting to see his expression clearly. He poked Koga's arm with a finger partially covered by the too-long track jacket sleeve. Koga looked over at him, taking in his entire oversized outfit. He finally cracked a smile, the first one this morning, and Sho beamed back at him.

Koga repeated the same word, his expression carefully masked as he watched Sho's reaction. "Ever."

Sho punched him in the arm, grinning ear to ear. "Ever!" He shoved Koga, making Koga stumble backwards in surprise. He followed after him, punching him again in the other arm, drawing Koga to raise his hands in mockery of a boxer's defense. Koga started walking backwards faster, grinning at Sho as he started to dodge and weave. Sho blurted out a laugh and chased after him, but his foot tangled on the cuff of the track pants and he stumbled, cursing as he fell into Koga. Koga tried to brace himself, but their combined backwards momentum pulled them over and they landed in a heap.

Sho pushed himself up, sitting on top of Koga, still beaming. He punched him in the shoulder again for victory rights before he realized he should definitely get off.

He heard himself ask a question instead.

"Why did you kiss that man?"

The words fell out of his mouth like a bomb. He almost jerked his hands up to cover his mouth but forced himself to keep them resting on his legs. His pulse was racing like wildfire; he could swear his face had already turned crimson. Koga hadn't answered yet, his eyes flickering back and forth, studying each of Sho's eyes in turn, his own hands calmly laying on the floor. Sho couldn't make himself say it again. He could still feel the question hanging thick in the air between them, starting to sour the joy of the moment just before.

Koga's mouth barely moved with his reply. "He was attractive to me. Do I need another reason?"

Sho swallowed hard. His mouth felt dry. Too dry. He wanted to shove himself up and run for a drink but he held himself steady. A thousand alarm bells were ringing in his head, every instinct screaming at him to not let the next question drop. The damn words fell from his tongue too easily, like poison. Changing everything.

"What about me?"

Koga's reply was swift and ruthlessly direct. "You're straight."

"I could… try…"

Koga pushed Sho off him and stood, wiping his hands off. Sho sat on the floor, watching as Koga slowly balled his hands into fists by his side, his head hanging back to look at the ceiling. He felt like his chest was being compressed by Koga's fists, tightening and slowly forcing all the air out as he waited.

"I'm not some," Koga paused, gesturing in the air as if searching for words. "F*ing horny virgin. I don't need your- whatever this is. Sympathy offers."

Sho stood. He reached his hand out, then let it fall by his side. "It's not." Koga shook his head. "It's not," Sho said, more insistently.

Koga turned to face him, his face twisted in anger. "So you just want to see what it's like to kiss a man? Have some great gay experience you can write into a song and laugh about over beers with your friends?"

"No," Sho said, startled. Koga scoffed at him, his eyes dark with hurt. Sho scrambled for words. "I don't want to see what it's like to kiss a man. I want to see what it's like to kiss... you."

Koga's eyes went wide. He seemed to pause, his features frozen as his gaze went blank. Sho raised his hand to touch him but Koga drew a deep, shuddering breath and looked straight at Sho. His face was full of torment.

Sho took a step backwards, stunned by the depth of the other man's reaction. Koga reached out and grabbed him by the collar, slamming his back against the window. Sho felt his lips crash against his own, hot and sudden, and he gasped. He pushed back against Koga instinctively but Koga growled, slamming him into the window again as he shoved his tongue into Sho's mouth. Koga's tongue swirled around his own, pulling on it as his lips crushed Sho's almost painfully. He was drowning, and dizzy.

He raised his hand, his fingertips shaking as he traced them over Koga's jawline, finding the spot where his skin dipped in when he kissed. He moaned, pressing himself against Koga as his fingers hovered over the dip, feeling the life and movement of his jaw as he started to kiss Koga back, his lips moving in hesitant, willing answer to the actor's passion.

Koga broke off, his breath ragged and eyes closed. Sho reached for him but Koga turned away, pushing off the glass to stand upright.

"Write your damn song," he said, his voice harsh. "I'm leaving."