Disclaimer: All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This is purely for my own amusement.

National Absurdity Day

There are a lot of things Kagome could say that could make people look at her oddly and then there are times like—more specifically—today were she wonders why she says the things that come out of her mouth.

Let's talk about today and how she ended up in a straitjacket.

8:00 AM

She was getting some breakfast and coffee at a nearby coffee shop that Sango worked at. "Hey bestest friend!" She smiled widely.

"You're not getting free coffee."

"Damnit…" She ordered what she wanted and asked for something that would wake her up. "Um, could you also grab something for lunch? I probably won't be able to get anything today."

Sango furrowed her eyebrows. "Your boss won't let you go out? I'm sure he would at least let you get some food."

"No, no, nothing like that," she said, laughing nervously. "Today is a special day and it needs to be perfect!"

"Does this have anything to do with your crazy holidays?"

"It has everything to do with that." Kagome grinned as she was handed her items from her friend. "And they're not crazy!" she defended, clearly offended Sango said such a thing.

Her friend shook her head in amusement. "Well, good luck with that and have a nice day!"

Kagome stared at Sango with a blank look and huffed, "Don't tell me what to do!" She whirled around and left.

"Sango, was that—"

"Jun, don't ask who that was…"

x

9:00 AM

It was an hour before she had to go to work so she thought she would get some groceries done in the meanwhile. Kagome searched for everything on the list in a record time since she was on a time crunch and paid for everything.

Her last thing she needed was to start her day with a little crazy. She walked over to the deli and grabbed a bag of sliced chicken.

"What have they done to you?!" she screamed, gaining the attention of everyone that was around. People froze at the scream, thinking that something was terribly wrong, but it just appeared it was some weird woman.

Kagome placed the food back down and left the building.

x

10:00 AM

She made it to work and without her boss noticing. It was like she was a ninja! It felt amazing! It was only after she sat down behind her desk that the ding to the elevators alerted her that someone was here.

"Hey Inu, Touga," Kagome greeted when the two of them walked off from the elevator. They looked over to her and smiled. "Have you ever wanted to work in a coffee shop?"

"I have," Inuyasha nodded. "I always wanted to come home smelling like coffee."

"Ooh! That would be a lovely bonus!" The way it was said, made it sound like she didn't even think about that in the first place. Inuyasha chuckled at her as his father merely shook his head. "I tried to apply for a job at a local coffee shop. Do you want to know why I got rejected?"

"Uh… sure?" He didn't sound very confident with his reply.

"They wouldn't let me work at that coffee shop because my boobs weren't big enough! Hello, my boobs are awesome!" Twin stares watched her and couldn't believe she just said that.

"That's boob bias," Inuyasha said lightly before he inched towards the door where his brother was in. It was an attempt to get away from crazy.

Kagome's eyes lit up after hearing that. "Exactly! Finally, someone who understands!"

"Is Sesshomaru available?" Touga questioned in a tone that practically screamed for him to change the subject. He followed his son, wondering how the hell Sesshomaru manages to deal with her.

"Yup! Go on in~"

x

11:00 AM

Sesshomaru had given her the task to take a survey for employee satisfaction and the best place she decided to do this was the cafeteria.

She did her chore first before moving onto her side task. Finding a group talking to one another about something she couldn't exactly hear, she walked over to them.

The first thing that came out of her mouth as she leaned down to a guy that was eating a sandwich was, "Are we gonna kill him or what?"

The group gaped at her as their eyes ended on their friend. "Aki, what is she talking about?" Kagome almost felt sorry for the poor guy; he looked shocked and scared.

"I don't even know who she is!" he denied immediately.

"She's Sesshomaru's secretary you dumbass."

"Doesn't mean I know her personally!"

"Well you kinda have to if she asked you that specifically!"

"Dude—hey wait, where did she go?"

Kagome left the group questioning Aki and had to laugh at herself. Today was turning out to be good!

x

12:00 PM

Kagome found her brother wandering the halls, carrying a stack of books. She, herself, was merely looking for something to play with…

The second she saw him though, she shouted, "You're one of them!" Miroku blinked at her shout as he watched bemusedly as she then ran away in a different direction, away from him.

Running in heels was never a good idea, so with that in mind, he saw her feet trip over themselves. He had half a mind to yell, timber, but he wasn't about to get caught up in whatever it was she was doing today.

Now that she had tripped, she proceeded to crawl away slowly as if this scenario never happened in the first place. Once she disappeared behind a desk, he chuckled at her antics.

She sure made life more interesting.

x

1:00 PM

Kagome called her best friend, Sango, during her lunch break for the sole purpose to announce, "I think part of a best friend's job, should be to immediately clear my computer history if I die."

Her friend didn't respond right off the bat since it was clear she didn't know how. But then she said, "I believe that works both ways."

"Yay! Glad to know I have someone covering my back!"

x

2:00 PM

She managed to stumble across Miroku once again. However, this time and judging by his face, he was clearly unhappy or grumpy or a combo of both.

Giggling to herself for what she was about to do, she decided to march up to him. He looked at her like he wasn't in the mood to deal with her but then Kagome held out a Snickers bar in front of him.

"What are y—"

"You're not you when you're hungry," she stated with a knowing smile. Then, with a hop in her step, walked away.

Miroku felt a twitch for around his lip.

x

3:00 PM

"Wanna hear a joke?" she asked the first person she saw after she had come back from bothering her brother. The person happened to be her boss, who was narrowing his eyes on her. It was clear that he didn't want to hear this joke but she continued anyways, "I tried to catch fog yesterday. I mist completely."

Sesshomaru turned around and went about his assignment as if she didn't say anything at all.

That was a horrible joke in his book. He heard her whine when he didn't comment on it and had to smirk at that.

x

4:00 PM

She was out, getting a coffee for Sesshomaru. He seemed to only like the way it was made only at that place specifically. She found it kinda adorable.

And it gave her a perfect reason to be outside.

She first went to a pet store. Kagome didn't really have a need to be there; it wasn't like she was getting anything for Vex but she did have a very serious question that she needed to ask.

Finding a store employee, she quickly got their attention. "Do you have cows?"

The startled look that washed for the person's face made her hold in her laughter. "Um… ma'am, perhaps you would like to ask the manager? I for sure know that we don't sell… cows," he told her, seemingly confused.

"Are you sure? A friend told me that this was the pet store that sold cows." Maybe she should go into acting; she was a natural, in her opinion of course. Kagome waited for another minute but the employee didn't know what to say to that.

Just to confuse that poor thing more, she took leave and went in search for Sesshomaru's favorite coffee shop. She knew she left the person thinking, what just happened. There was no way they couldn't be not thinking that.

x

5:00 PM

"Who on earth came up with the brilliant idea of calling the fear of long words hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?" she asked her boss as he was getting ready for a meeting.

Hearing her say something that wasn't in everyday language made him pause and turn to her. She stared back at him, waiting for his answer. Shaking his head as he continued back to putting papers into his briefcase, he said, "Someone that clearly felt the need to be a little sadistic."

"That would make sense," she agreed with a nod of her head. "Are you afraid of long words? You did take a little while to answer me you know."

"I don't have fears like that. Don't you have to get ready for the meeting as well?"

Kagome blinked and bit her lip. "I should probably do something about that, shouldn't I?" Sesshomaru rolled his eyes at her.

x

6:00 PM

Sesshomaru finally took a break for himself, just to allow himself a little bit of peace. He glanced through the e-mails in his inbox for some down time. However… there were a lot of e-mails that were showing concern regarding his secretary.

Now that they mentioned it, Kagome was obviously going out of her way just to be extra weird. Should that be a sign that he should be worried?

Only an hour ago was when he noticed anything remotely weird-like. How did she even find that word? Well, he might as well and see for himself just how weird she can get.

He got up from his chair and walked over to the door to open it. Kagome was typing away on the computer with a phone to her ear. Now when she was like this, there didn't appear to be anything wrong with her.

It had to have been when she was alone or maybe it had to be when she was around someone she knew really well? Even down the line like this, he still couldn't figure out where this craziness came from. It was clear that neither Bankotsu or Souta had any of this behavior. Miroku was questionable at best.

Kagome was like an entirely different group all together.

She glanced up to him and smiled, making a motion with her hand to tell him to wait. She finished up with the phone call and nodded to him in greeting.

"Would you like to get something to eat? We're going to be staying until ten today," he asked then told her. She immediately hopped out of her seat with a beaming smile.

"Lead the way!"

They ended up in the break room, which was two floors down. There were at least six other people in the vicinity without counting the cooking staff. Sesshomaru pointed to a table that was free, which she quickly claimed and waited until he came back.

In the meantime, she eyed the people in the area. Well, more like she was scanning for a victim… Her boss didn't need to know about that.

He came back with a couple of sandwiches and two sodas. She grabbed the closest sandwich and munched on it. Both of them ignored the eyes that were on them as they ate.

Perhaps coming here wasn't the brightest idea on his part even if it did serve good food…

As they were leaving, Kagome grabbed Sesshomaru's arm and yanked him back to point at someone that was two chairs away. He looked at her with a stunned expression. Where did she get that strength to do that? "What?" he inquired, narrowing his eyes in suspicion about something.

"I want that one Sess!" she stated with an air of excitement. The person in question, looked up and squeaked. Kagome turned back to her boss. "Please! I promise to take good care of him!"

The head of the company blinked in bewilderment. Then he lost all emotion and deadpanned, "No, you can't keep another human. You already have your son."

"Are you saying that Shippo is a pet?"

"I did not say such a thing."

Kagome judged him for a second then she had to make sure. "Are you sure I can't keep him?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Aw man."

x

7:00 PM

"I ran out of bad news!" she shouted to the people in the hallways.

"That's nice dear," a little old lady said to her, going back to her business.

Well, at least someone answered her. That was kind of them.

x

8:00 PM

"It's happening again!" Kagome gasped out. She was with Sesshomaru in the lobby, telling the lady at the front desk about something to do with an important client. She wasn't really listening…

Sesshomaru turned to her with a raised an eyebrow to her in question. "What are you talking about?"

"Can't you feel it?"

"No?"

What was she doing now? Did she not realize that they were in a work environment? Surely she had to realized that she could easily be fired for… whatever she was doing. Then he would be out of a secretary and that would be bad.

"It's happening again!" she repeated while he observed as she pointed to a random person that was coming into the building. Then she aimed her finger towards the revolving doors.

"Is she all right?" asked the lady behind the desk, eyeing Kagome with worry before glancing up to the male in charge.

He wasn't really sure at this point nor did he know how to respond to the woman…

The lady seemed to understand and dropped the subject before turning her attention back to the original question.

Kagome ignored everything and everyone to gasp every time the doors spun.

x

9:00 PM

The second to last thing she did before her work day was up was when she was getting some document for her boss and had to go find her brother to finish the task.

She found him right away but didn't acknowledge that she saw him. Instead, she yelled out to anyone that was around, "Hey who wants to tie my shoes?!"

Some people didn't even bother to look over to her. The eighth floor had caught wind that she was acting weirdly today and wanted nothing to do with her when they were working. Others merely glanced over to see her in action.

Miroku was the only one that responded to her by pointing out, "You're wearing heels, Kagome." His sister looked down to her feet and laughed loudly at her silliness when she was realized she didn't have shoelaces.

"Well, then, I guess that means everyone's off the hook!"

"What am I going to do with you?" he mumbled to himself as his sister went off to complete whatever she was here for.

x

10:00 PM

It was the end of the day and Kagome had packed up everything she had. Her boss said that he would be another couple of minutes before he was planning on leaving. She cackled to herself.

Time to put her plan into action!

She grabbed a desk and hauled it over and into the elevator. Quickly, she then grabbed a chair. Kagome dashed back into the elevator, grinning as the doors closed. She started making her descent down to the lobby.

A minute had passed when the doors opened and made people freeze when they saw her. "Do you have an appointment?" she asked with a smile on her face. There were only about three males that were standing in front of her, all of them looking at the other, wondering what was going on.

"Uh… you know what, I think I'm going to take the stairs," said one employee as the other two immediately took after him at the idea.

Kagome laughed when the doors closed again. She managed to do this six more times before she got to the lobby. Literally no one joined her for the ride.

As she was about to get ready to get out, she felt the equipment move in a forced way and suddenly she was going back up to the top floor.

Now she was confused. What was going on?

The doors opened as she saw her boss turned boyfriend with his arms crossed over his chest and looking unamused. She laughed nervously as she noticed his eyes glance over the desk, then the chair, and then over to her. "What are you doing?" he asked dryly.

"Well…" It wasn't like she had an excuse. She just wanted to have a little fun. "Do you have an appointment?"

Sesshomaru was unimpressed. "Get out and act your age. You haven't left the building." He watched as she took the desk and chair out of the elevator. Now she was standing in it with a anxious air to her as he walked in as well. "Don't think I haven't noticed what you have been doing all day."

Well… it started out as a good idea…

x

11:00 PM

Sesshomaru had gone home after work with his girlfriend. But it turned to be clear that the day wasn't over as she suddenly had a weird glint in her eyes. She wanted to do one last absurd thing before the day came to a close and her boyfriend was her perfect victim!

Grabbing his hand and forcing it to her chest, she said, "Underneath all these clothes… I am completely naked."

There was a twitch that formed on his eyebrow. "What are you doing?" he asked once again, pulling his hand away from her. There was no way he was going to be doing anything with her when he had yet to figure out why she was acting way more crazy than normal.

"Don't you get it? I'm naked under—"

"I heard you the first time. If you're asking for sex, it's not happening." He left her standing at the doorway in disquiet.

She gaped at him. "I didn't even have that on my mind!"

x

12:00 AM

"Hey dad? Are you busy?"

Touga looked up from his papers to see his oldest standing at the door, looking ready to throttle something. "I am a little but I can pause for a moment. What do you need?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in wonder.

His son seemed to be trying to think of a way to form his words since he took a little while before he actually said anything. In the end, he settled for cautioning, "Do you, by chance, have a straitjacket?"

"Do I really want to want why you need one?"

"No… no, you don't."

There was a moment of silence before his father admitted, "There is one in my closet in the way back, right behind some old memorabilia. It should be behind the box that says, Inuyasha's Ballerina Days." Another stretch of silence occurred as Sesshomaru stared at his father in apprehension. Seeing the look, he added, "Don't ask."

He slowly backed out of the room, seemingly more traumatized after asking than the thought of just needing something to help him with a problem.

But on the upside, there might be more blackmail material he could use to one up his brother.

Now he had to chase and catch his girlfriend…

x

1:00 AM

Sesshomaru had finally caught his girlfriend and trapped her in the straitjacket. He had to make do with what he had and it was pure coincidence that his father had one in his closet.

He didn't question why his father had it but boy he was glad that he did. Securing Kagome from the back, he glanced back at his work. She was pouting and struggling to get out. For once, he was pleased that he knew that she wouldn't be able to get out of it. "Do you have anything to say for yourself? Or have you accepted your fate?

"It was National Absurdity Day! I was supposed to be weird!" she told with a huff.

"You haven't been weird though," he pointed out. Kagome raised an eyebrow to that; she knew she was weird today though. What was he talking about? "You have been a downright nightmare. The desk in the elevator at the end of the day was the breaking point."

She practically rolled her eyes. He was being ridiculous. "That was a classic!"

He stared at her with an expressionless look before shaking his head. He picked her up and set her down on the bed in the middle of the room. "I'll let you out after you have some time to think about what you've done." He left her alone after saying his piece.

"What if I have to use the bathroom?!"

There was no answer to her question.

x

2:00 AM

Her boyfriend locked her in a room, wrapped up in a straitjacket, making her think about what she did that ended her up at this point.

She tried to tell him it had been National Absurdity Day but he wasn't having it. Kagome really thought by telling him that it would let her off the hook…

x

3:00AM

"Have you thought about what you did?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"I don't see anything wrong with what I did."

The door shut once again.

x

4:00AM

She had fallen asleep when Sesshomaru appeared the next time. He watched her sleep for a few moments before expertly getting her out of her punishment without waking her up.

Well days were getting extremely odd for him. Technically yesterday, was the icing on the cake. Where did she get these ideas?

On second thought, he didn't want to know. He fell asleep next to her.

The straitjacket lay innocently on the floor, forgotten.

Words: 3,715

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