Chapter 60: Epilogue

Bella walked from the kitchen where she finished an after-school snack and slowly wandered into the living room, peeking around the couch to see little arms and legs flailing and kicking around at the plastic toys and mirrors that hung above its head. She sighed with relief as she sauntered further into the room and knelt down to the floor next to the baby gym.

"Thank god." She sighed "I was tired of being quiet while you napped, mom said I was dead if I woke you up."

The big blue eyes followed the sound of her voice and they stared at each other for a long minute, Bella smiled and smoothed her hand over the soft brown curls that clung to the baby's head.

"You know you're kind of cute." She giggled "But I'm not surprised, after all, you are MY baby sister. Mom and dad might say you get your good looks from them, but you get them from me…just thought you should know the truth."

Bella giggled as she tugged at the chubby cheek and the baby cooed at her and flashed her a small gummy smile. Bella started to smell something not so pleasant rise up from the floor and scrunched up her nose.

"Ew!" she gagged "That is not so cute." She turned towards the doorway "MOM!"

"I'm cancer free!" Meredith gasped as she'd sat behind the desk of her oncologist, her hair was down to her shoulders now and she weighed 30 pounds less than she needed to, but she was glowing.

"You are." The doctor congratulated her.

"No more cancer." Meredith grinned as Derek sat next to her squeezing her hand "I guess we can make that baby now."

"Well maybe not right… right away." Derek flushed as he knew his wife had no shame and would jump him in the hall given permission. He heard what the doctor said and wanted to make sure she was in good health before they tried for a baby, after all she'd been sick the past few weeks and that worried him. "Maybe we should wait until you get over your bug."

"It's just a bug." Meredith rolled her eyes and addressed the doctor "How soon can we try for a baby?"

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that." She mumbled.

"I can't." Meredith's face instantly fell, and she felt tears burn her eyes, it surprised her seeing as she wasn't normally an emotional person, but cancer had changed a lot about her... "That's what you have to say, I can't have kids, my time has passed."

"No." the doctor chuckled "Actually it's quite the opposite."

"What do you mean?" Derek frowned.

"When we did your bloodwork, we noticed that your Hcg was elevated to 23,000."

"Ok." She frowned and felt her head a little cloudy as to what to think, Derek fell back into the back of his chair with a thud "What…what does that mean?"

"You're pregnant Meredith." She smiled "I'm no gynie but I'd say you're in the middle to late trimester."

"I'm…" she gasped and felt a sudden jolt of anger "Pregnant!" she turned and glared at Derek "What the fuck! Your little swimmers couldn't wait a few weeks could they, just had to fucking invade my egg farm right away didn't they!"

"Hey!" Derek scoffed "I didn't exactly tell them to give it a go. And you certainly didn't protest either!"

Meredith huffed and sat back into her chair as she crossed her arms, the oncologist looked at them in shock and gulped as she slowly got up.

"I um… I'll give you two a little alone time."

"MOM!" Bella yelled through the house "MOM!"

"What the hell is on fire, Bella!" Meredith hissed from the kitchen as she stormed through the house "I told you to be quiet, so you don't wake the baby!"

"She's awake." Bella said as Meredith reached the room "And she…. stinks!"

Meredith frowned as she walked into the room further and then turned up her nose "Oh god…she does." She sighed "Ok well babies…well they…. they poop. Its normal."

"That smell…is so not normal!" Bella said as she pinched her nose and groaned.

Meredith looked at the baby and hesitated and then looked at Bella "You know how to change diapers right?"

"What!" Bella scoffed "No!"

"But you've watched Dad change them."

"Ew, no!" she shrieked "You're the mom…you change it."

"I…" Meredith hesitated "I…I don't know how. I've never done it before."

"How can you not have done it before?"

"In the five months we've had her Dad's always done it so no, Arabella, I have no idea how to change a diaper!"

"Sorry it took me so long." Derek breathed as he set the bag down on the counter of the kitchen "The clerks at the supermarket aren't exactly in a hurried mood at two in the morning."

"Well they should be." Meredith muttered as she rubbed her swollen belly and tore the items from the bag. "Sardines, waffles, strawberries, pineapple, green olives, pimentos, whipped cream, and vanilla ice cream."

"I didn't forget anything this time, did I?" Derek asked nervously, she looked up at him fiercely and then frowned.

"No." she mumbled "Have I been that much of a bitch?"

"Um." He gulped "No?" she glared at him "Maybe just a little, but it's completely understandable. I'm more than HAPPY to get up at two in the morning to go get you and the baby whatever you wish to eat. It's no problem really…I just don't want to make another five trips to the store. I think they're starting to know me by name."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she got the blender out and plugged it in. Derek felt repulsed as he imagined what she was about to do.

"Mer," he asked hesitantly "Are you going to put all….ALL of those items in the blender?"

She looked up as she started tossing things in "Yeah…why?"

He forced himself not to gag and smiled "No reason, um…did you need any more help, I think I need to get back to sleep, early surgery."

"You are weak." She scoffed "You just can't stand there and watch me eat absurd things after you go and knock me up…fuck, you should be eating them with me!"

"I…" he mumbled as he searched for a way out, but let out a sigh "I would love to."

She smiled as she turned the blender on, he cringed inwardly but painted on a smile and tried to not think about what he was about to consume.

"When is Dad going to be home?" Bella asked.

"He got called into an emergency on his way out the door." Meredith sighed "He could be hours."

"Crap, we're so screwed." Bella groaned.

"We're not screwed." Meredith scolded

"Can we just leave her in it?"

"NO!" Meredith hissed "Would you like to sit in your own shit for hours?"

"What do we do then?"

"I need a diaper." She sighed "You know where they're at right?"

"Um..no!" Bella muttered "Again, I don't change diapers."

"Shit." Meredith sighed "I don't know either." The baby started to fuss and wiggle uncomfortably and Meredith puckered her lips as she lifted the baby and held her out in front of her "Hang on little one, we'll…figure something out."

"What should we name him?" Derek asked as they sat in the waiting room. Meredith flipped the page of her magazine and looked up, raising one eyebrow.

"Him?" she asked, "What makes you think it's a boy?"

"Just a feeling." He grinned as he ran his hand over her large belly "It feels like a boy."

"I'm the one feeling it kick the shit out of me more than you are." She scoffed "I say we're having a kangaroo." She snorted as she flipped another page "Maybe we should name it Roo."

"Or Rudy." He said.

"Or Ruby." She retorted and gave him a sharp look.

"Dr. and Mrs. Shepherd?" a nurse asked.

"I guess we're about to find out."

They both got up and followed a nurse to a dark room and waited as the ultrasound tech rolled jelly and a wand over Meredith's large overgrown stomach, getting all the measurements and pictures that she needed for the obstetrician.

"Everything looks great." She said after about ten minutes "Would you like to know what it is?"

"Yes," Meredith said "But I want Derek to tell me."

"Can you read an ultrasound screen?" the tech asked.

"I'm only a world renown neurosurgeon." He scoffed "I think I can handle it."

Meredith rolled her eyes as the tech got out of the way, Derek moved the wand over her belly and looked intently at the screen as he tried to figure it out, then broke into a bright grin.

"It's a Rudy, isn't it?" Meredith grumbled.

"No." Derek laughed "I was wrong… we're having a Ruby."

"A girl." Meredith felt her eyes spring water almost immediately "We're having a girl?"

"Yes." He said leaning in to kiss her "Looks like I'll be living in another house full of women."

"Oh God, we don't have to name her Ruby." She sniffled.

"I know." He laughed.

"Shh, it's okay Ellie." Meredith soothed as she supported her in the sink of tepid water, she held the five-month-old with one hand and sprayed with the sink hose using the other hand. "Just cleaning off your little toosh since you made a royal mess of it. I have to say, you do that quite well, I can't imagine how well you'll do other things."

"Is it over yet?" Bella asked from the doorway.

"Yes." Meredith glared "No thanks to any help from you."

"I just couldn't watch." Bella frowned "Can I help now?"

"Go get me a towel and my medical bag from my office."

"Medical bag?" Bella frowned "Is she hurt?"

"No, but we're going to have to put SOMETHING back on her."

"I'm going to be pregnant forever." Meredith groaned as she waddled to the couch and slowly lowered her huge ass down to it "This baby is taking up a permanent residence."

"You're not going to be pregnant forever." Derek chuckled as he handed her an iced lemonade and a kiss on the forehead "Dr. Montgomery said it's only a few days past your due date, its normal to go overdue, and if you want she can induce after next week's appointment."

"I'm not trying to be one of those bitchy pregnant women who are ungrateful of having a human life inside of them…but it's a hundred degrees outside and humid as fuck. I'm feeling a little ungrateful."

"Just think, you can relax now, when you go into labor the last thing, you'll be able to do is relax." He soothed, she looked up at him and gave him a death glare "That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." She growled.

"I'm sorry." He sighed and sat down, he picked her feet up and started rubbing them softly "I know you're miserable, and I wish there was something I could do."

"I know." She gulped and rubbed her hand over her whale sized belly "And I should be grateful, we came this close to this not happening, I should be grateful." She felt a cramp and then a huge gush, Derek's eyes grew wide as he jumped up, she looked down to see that her water had broken and groaned "Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus!"

"You want me to do what with the gauze?" Bella asked.

"Just roll it around her legs as I hold her up." Meredith said as she dried the baby off on the counter "And around her hips and ass, just cover her up like a diaper."

"But..."

"You want to be a doctor?" Meredith raised her brow "This is good practice."

Bella sighed with defeat and Meredith held the baby up and made goofy faces at her to keep her happy and giggling as Bella rolled the white gauze around her hips and bottom until it was all covered.

"Ok, now what."

"Take the medical tape and rip a piece off to fasten the gauze." Meredith instructed, Bella nodded and did so.

"Done!" Bella grinned, Meredith held the baby up and inspected it.

"Good job." She smiled and then cradled the baby in her arms "We did it!"

"Push!" Derek encouraged Meredith as he sat by her side and coached her "Come on Mer, one more."

"I am pushing god Damnit!" she groaned as she grunted down "You don't think its good enough then YOU get down here and fucking do it!"

"Meredith." Addison said softly, Meredith looked down and saw as Addison delivered the baby's head "There's your baby, one more push and she's yours."

"Oh god." Meredith gasped, she took in a deep breath and then bore down and watched as the baby slid out and cried immediately. She felt her eyes flood with tears as Addison placed the baby on her chest "Oh she's here, she's so pretty and she's here."

"And you thought she'd never come." Derek smiled as he leaned down and kissed them both.

"Congratulations." Addison smiled "What's her name?"

Derek and Meredith grinned at each other and then looked at the little one "Elenore," Meredith sniffled "Elenore Grey Shepherd."

Meredith had the baby in her arms, wrapped in a towel and her 'gauze-diaper' and Bella cheering as they danced around the kitchen when the front door opened. Derek heard the excitement and smiled as he walked in.

"What's the celebration?" Derek chuckled.

"We did it!" Meredith grinned as she walked over to him.

"Did what?"

"We changed Ruby's diaper!" Bella giggled.

Derek frowned and looked to see the mass of taped gauze around the baby's bum and fought to hold in his laughter "And so you did."

"You've really got to show me where the damn diapers are." Meredith muttered as she handed the baby over to Derek, he took her and planted several kisses on her cheeks, making her giggle and croon "I had to…improvise."

"I see that." He chuckled "But you did a good job." He sighed "Come with me."

She followed him up the stairs to the nursery and he walked over to the changing table where a long pillowcase looking thing hung with a slit up the middle was. He pointed to it.

"This thing right here? It's a diaper hanger." He said and reached in and pulled out a small white rectangle "And it holds diapers." He held up a few items off the table "Baby wipes, to clean her dirty bum, baby powder to keep moisture off and avoid diaper rash, and Desitin in case she does get a rash."

Meredith took it all in as Derek re-changed the baby's diaper, she felt a lump form in her throat and tears sprang out of her eyes as did a sob, Derek looked up at the strangled sound and frowned.

"Mer?" he asked "Babe, what's wrong, you did a great job, I was just telling you. And I'm only changing her because diapers usually hold up better than gauze."

"I know." She sniffled "I just…I should know already. I should know this."

"It's my fault really." He soothed as he finished up the diaper wrapping "I just like doing this kind of stuff, so I never let you have the chance."

"But I'm thirty-one years old!" she sobbed "And a mother of two and a half and I still don't know how to change a fucking diaper…how pathetic is that!"

"Mer its…" he started to say then stopped and frowned, "Two and a half?"

Her tears stopped and she sniffled, she let out a sigh and pulled a white stick out of her sweater pocket "Oh yeah, I forgot." She held it up and gave him a sheepish smile "I'm pregnant."

"Well that's good." He smiled hesitantly, not sure how she felt about it yet. He scooped Elenore up and bounced her in his arms as he stepped towards her, "It's good right?"

"I don't know." She started to cry again "I'm a bad mom, I can't change a diaper, and she likes you better than she likes me and… I never even had Bella as a baby and I..I…"

"Hey." He whispered as he stopped in front of her, "Stop." Ellie looked up at Meredith and reached out for her, Meredith whimpered as she took the baby and held her tight, kissing her on the head as Derek wiped away the tears "You're tired and overwhelmed and…hormonal." She glared at him "It's true."

"Yeah." She sniffled "It's true."

"So close your eyes and remember what you always told me when I needed reassurance." He said softly as she closed her eyes "Where do we go when we need it to be just us, when we need to get away from the world."

She felt her tears dry and her sobs calm and smiled as she felt relief and certainty wash over her, she smiled softly and whispered.

"Somewhere only we know."

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