A/N: So, this one is a big one in many, many ways. I'm very curious what you guys think. As a writer, I always want to surprise my readers, and this one will be a huge surprise. I'm not sure if it's a good surprise considering all your reviews, but this is the way I had it pictured in my mind when I started writing this story and it just has to be like this. Let me know what you think, the bad, the good, and the ugly. But hey, please bring it kindly, hihi. X Milou.

Forty-eight: Job done.

"God, look at the kid," Kate rolls her eyes while she nods towards John. "Even the professionals want to close their curtain."

I chuckle as I watch John, who is having the time of his life while walking around the red light district in Amsterdam. He is taking everything in very intently to make sure he doesn't miss a thing, literally. Christian has pulled him away from a window twice because the girl behind it got pissed that he blocked the view. I've also snatched his phone from his hands because he tried to take pictures while that's obviously not allowed.

How he and Christian are best friends is beyond me, to be honest, and his behavior does concern me. He is the complete teenage hormonal bomb, not taking the privacy or the fact that this is the job of the girls behind the windows seriously.

And Christian has just told him about our thing.

I have no idea why Christian is so sure that John won't open his mouth and tell the whole school about how his friend and his math teacher are having an affair. I get that their friendship goes way back, but it's obvious that Christian is the mature one, and that doesn't really reassure me.

Outside of the fact that John seems reckless and the 'you only live once' type of guy, he also seems to have a good bond with Leila which can be disastrous.

Especially now that I know she has seen the whole thing between José and Christian as well. I'm her red flag, but Christian is obviously her weakness, and now she has seen us in a situation together. A situation that told John enough to find out about what's going on.

There is no doubt in my mind that the moment Leila gets the chance, she will confront us about what happened. I know Christian and I are going to have to have our stories right, but now that Sara and John know as well, we don't have full control anymore, and it freaks me out.

And not to forget that Leila knows things about me that I didn't even know until yesterday. She knows the woman Colton slept with while he was in a relationship with me. Her fucking half-sister for God's sake.

A part of me wants to just walk up to Leila and demand her to tell me what she knows that can help me with my divorce. I want to ask her why she hates me so much. I know the reason for her hate towards me lies somewhere in the whole half-sister affair as well. It has to be.

But the rational part knows that it won't end well if I do that. I have to be careful, especially because at this point, people that I don't trust know about Christian and me.

Christian said that he is trying to figure out more about what Leila knows, and I adore him for it, but at the same time, I curse him because I know what it will entail. If Leila will give him information, she'll want something in return.

It's not hard to guess what that is.

Last night in the shower was so overwhelming and intense, that Christian and I didn't even talk about the whole Leila thing. At the time, nothing seemed to matter but us and our connection, but now I can kick myself that I haven't talked to him about that when we were alone.

I doubt we will have a moment to ourselves once we are joining the whole group again. I know that I'm not taking the same risk as I did last night, especially not now John knows as well which means my only change is now.

But I doubt we can get another moment alone because as I'm still looking at John, who is obviously in heaven right now, I don't think Christian will leave his side until we are at least ten miles from the red light district.

"Do you think it's a good idea that John knows about you and him?" Kate voices my thoughts, and when I look at her I see the same concern as I feel.

"No," I tell her honestly, "but I can't do anything about it anymore now. Christian says that he trusts him, so I guess I have to trust Christian that he knows what he is doing."

"You know that what happened today with Rodriguez will have consequences right? Consequences that will involve teachers and students? The fact that I saw how protective and jealous Grey acted, means that everyone else saw as well. That might be easy to explain to people who don't really have an interest in you or him, but there are people who have."

I sigh and close my eyes for a second to clear my thoughts. "I know. Leila's going to be a problem and I even doubt if we heard the last of José. But what can I do about it now, Kate? I'm completely stuck in this situation."

"Well, for starters you can stop kissing and hugging him." She raises her eyebrow, obviously referring to what she saw just moments ago. "You can stop sneaking out in the middle of the night so the chances that you get caught are less, and-"

"Goddamnit Kate, how do you even know that? I thought you were asleep." I interrupt.

"The fact that I wasn't should tell you enough, Ana. Jesus, be happy it was me and not some other colleague," Kate bites back, obviously not planning on letting me turn the attention onto her.

"You're right," I sigh, defeated.

"I know," she agrees. "Listen, instead of acting like a lovely couple out on a holiday, you might want to take this opportunity to talk to him, one on one. You have to get your stories straight, and you have to tell him that you can't sneak around anymore."

I'm a bit stunned by what Kate says because it is exactly the thought I had just moments ago. At the same time, I'm in awe. This is what it feels like to have a friend. A real friend, that wants what's best for you and is willing to plot up with you because of it. Who is willing to go through the mess you made to make sure it'll be okay. Who puts you into place.

"You're right. Will you give me a moment with him to discuss all that?"

"Only because I seem to have grown quite fond of you," she sighs, pretending to be annoyed. "You owe me a huge dinner once we're back though. I seriously want to strangle the boner." She looks at John again, her eyes full of real annoyance as he strides towards us with Christian chuckling next to him.

Without warning, I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her into a short hug. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you help me."

Her arms squeeze around me briefly before she pulls away. It's good that she does because John had witnessed the hug and his eyes are now glimmering, telling me exactly what kind of dirty things are running through his mind.

"Ladies," he grins. "How about you two do-"

Christian stops him from finishing that sentence by punching him hard in his side. "Shut up, Flynn."

"What?" He asks, fake innocence washing over his face.

"Listen,'' I start, suddenly feeling the need to put him in place to make sure he shuts his mouth. "You might know something that not a lot of people know, but Miss Kavanagh and I are still your teachers. The fact that you share a secret with us doesn't mean you can act like we are some girls of your age, so I suggest you start acting like the perfect boy your parents think you are, or else they might hear how you acted just now."

John's eyes widen slightly, obviously not expecting my outburst. When he has recovered from the shock, he holds up his hands. "Jesus, relax. I was just messing around. Probably the fall on my head."

"Right. Let's leave it at that for now," Kate snorts humourlessly. "Come on, let's get back to the bikes." She grabs John's arm and pulls him along while she gives me a knowing glance.

Just like when we walked to the red light district, Kate and John walk in front of Christian and me. Even though the streets are crowded and there isn't any privacy, I know that I have no choice. I have to talk to Christian now because I won't be alone with him like this again.

"We need to talk," I start, and in response, Christian looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay," he responds, his tone surprised but worried.

"We need to have our story right. Once we join the others, Leila will comment on what she saw, and I want to know what you're going to tell her."

"The same thing that I've told Brown. It's no secret that Rodriguez made you feel uncomfortable, Ana. Everybody saw that, even Leila."

"But Leila will never be okay with only that, Christian. She hates me and wants you, and on top of that, it wouldn't surprise me if she saw the way you looked at me before you got hit by José. Kate said you looked possessive and jealous as hell. How will you explain that to Leila?"

Christian stays quiet for a moment while he thinks about what I've just said. "I don't know," he eventually mumbles.

"How did you plan on finding out what more Leila knows about Colton and her half-sister?" I ask, hoping that he had an idea for that.

"I was planning on hanging out with her and shit. But I'm not going to do that anymore now, Ana," he immediately says, sounding determined.

I roll my eyes, knowing exactly what he means with 'hanging out and shit'. Fucking Leila is such a slut for him, it's fucking crazy.

"If Leila makes a scene and starts asking questions, I think she'll ask them to both of us while the whole group is present. She wants something on me from the first moment she met me, and I think she'll use what she saw even though she has no exact idea of what it was. We need to have a story, and we need to be sure that John or Sara won't talk to her."

"Okay," he nods. "So what do you suggest then? What should we say."

I think about it for a moment, and I can only think of one thing. I hate it, but the only thing that Leila wants more than bitching on me is Christian.

"Maybe you should continue with the plan you had and give her the attention that she wants from you."

Christian's eyes widen in alarm as he stops walking immediately. "What?"

"I mean, it's the only thing I can think of how we can get the attention away from what she saw. The only thing she wants more than destroying me is you." Jesus Christ, saying it out loud makes me feel as if I'm in a horribly bad teenage drama film. How the hell did I get into this situation?

"Are you fucking insane? You know that Leila doesn't just want to hold hands right? I'm not fucking her, Ana." He still sounds determined, but he also sounds mad now. Anger that is aimed at me for suggesting it.

"Besides," he continues, not caring if I want to reply. "She'll still want to know why I defended you like that in front of everyone."

"Can't you tell her that you did it because you wanted to mess with José?" I say, remembering that José and Christian have a history that started long before I started working at Port Bellevue. "That you saw it as an opportunity to rile him up just to mess with him. That it wasn't about defending me but provoking him."

"I could. She knows I hate him and that he hates me. But I'm not sure if she'll believe it."

"You have to try, Christian. If Leila finds out, it's over. You know that, right?"

He nods his head. "I know."

"And I really think you should stick to your plan for now. You don't have to do very drastic stuff with her. I don't want you to either, but you can be friendly to her, right? Maybe she'll tell you more about Colton and Valerie as well." I try to give a positive swing to my plea, a small smile and all, but it works the opposite way.

"Don't fucking say his name," he growls. "Is that what you want then? You want to have that information so bad that you are willing to accept that I hang out with Leila, alone, with all the consequences that hang on that?"

"Christian, that information might be my ticket to my divorce," I bark back, losing my patience as well.

"It always comes back to that," he barks, frustrated. People around us even notice it.

"Because that's the fucking reality," I counter, the volume of my voice higher as well. "I'm married, Christian. I hate it, you hate it but it's the reality. And if you want me to be with you, I'll have to get divorced first. And since the guy, I want to divorce from isn't letting me go, I need everything that can help me. I don't understand why you suddenly are so appealed about doing it anyway since it was your plan all along."

"Because I fucking told you I love you. Because we weren't in a good place when I planned it. Because we didn't share a fucking intimate shower that still has me buzzing. Fuck sakes, Ana." His hands grip his hair, frustratingly pulling at the strains.

"Listen," I breathe, grabbing his cheeks so he looks at me. "I understand but you also said that I'm your goal. If you want me all to yourself, Christian, and if you want to help me, then you need to do it like this. You can't help me any other way."

Everything he just said about the shower we shared warms my heart, and it's the confirmation once again that I need every piece of information there is about Colton so I can divorce him. I want to be with Christian too, but I want him to be my only one.

"I want you, Christian. But I want to be only yours. You deserve that and if I don't divorce him, I'll always be his on paper."

Christian lets out a deep breath and closes his eyes before he leans his forehead against mine. "You have to promise me that you won't hate me for it."

"I promise. I won't hate you for it, just like you don't hate me for pretending to be married still." I show him my wedding-and engagement ring.

After we were done in the shower, it was Christian who picked them from the floor and grabbed my hand to slip them back on my finger. Right then and there he showed me how serious, and probably more mature he was at that moment than me. He remembered while I would've walked out of that shower without them.

He places a kiss on my nose. "Fine. Let's do it."

I let our relieved breath. "Thank you for doing this for me."

"I'd do just about anything for you, Ana. That's what fucking concerns me right now."

The rest of the day Kate and I showed Christian and John Amsterdam according to the schedule. Kate contacted our colleagues a couple of times to ask them where they were, but every time we decided to take our own tour since our colleagues didn't find it a good idea to wait for us with impatient students which we understood.

I kept my word to Kate and let Christian walk and bike with John. We didn't have a moment after our talk, and although it felt weird, we both know it's best for now.

It's around five when we arrive at the hostel again. According to the schedule, today's dinner will be take-out since it's the last evening. We figured that it wouldn't be a good idea to mess up a whole kitchen since we want the students to be in their rooms before nine so they can pack and then go to sleep.

Tomorrow we'll fly home, and we are expected to be checked in at seven, which means we need to leave the hostel around six-fifteen in the morning; a challenge for most students.

When we enter the dining area, all the other students and colleagues are already present. It's loud chaos, and Lopez is trying to get them to shut up so he can speak. On the table are a few papers with menus, so I think the whole discussion is about what we're going to eat.

José is nowhere to be seen, and when we ask Diana Zarkis where he is, she informs us that he took a cab to Schiphol Airport about an hour ago and that he'll fly back to Sea-Tac at eight tonight.

As Christian and John join their classmates and start participating in the discussion on what to eat, Kate and I walk to the kitchen to grab something to drink. I honestly want to stay out of Leila's view for as long as possible, and I hope that Christian will work on his plan right away so she doesn't get to me.

I hate feeling like this. I hate that fear of being confronted with what happened today. I also hate that I had to ask Christian to basically get it on with her so he can find out information that will help me with my divorce. I fucking hate that I'm married.

At this point and after a day like this, I seem to hate everything.

And even though I haven't thought it through properly and it's just based on what happened today, quitting seems to get more and more appealing.

It's six months until Christian graduates. Six months is a long time to not be in any kind of contact with him, especially when I'll see him on a daily bases at work. On top of that, six months is also long to keep Leila in check. Too long, for Christian and for myself.

It is why the idea of me quitting is starting to become the best option for both of us. Thus far, four people know about Christian and me, three of which are at Port Bellevue as much as I am. It's too risky.

If I quit, I can completely focus on my divorce with Colton, Christian can make sure he graduates without being distracted by me or by pretending with Leila, and if all three persons in question will shut their mouths, nobody will ever know that Christian and I started seeing each other while he was my student.

If I quit and if I'm able to divorce Colton sooner than he is aiming for, it's only six months until Christian and I can be together. Only six months until we can get to know each other properly, without sneaking around.

I feel the huge need to talk to Hannah about all this. I miss her. Just like Kate, she is the only adult who can give me her honest opinion about this whole thing, and I need it badly.

If I quit, it also gives me time to find out what I want to do in the future. I'm beginning to think that I took this job because I needed to get out of that house. An escape from being the housewife that smiles pretty and says amen because I needed to show Colton I could do it, rather than because I wanted the position.

"Did you two have a good talk?" Kate asks while she gives me a glass of sprite.

"Yeah, I think so. You were right about the six months, but honestly Kate, I don't know how we are going to pull that off if we see each other every day. Can you imagine how hard that will be? I know you don't understand how and why I fell for him, but think about it. How am I supposed to ignore him for six months while he is about the only good thing in my life right now? He is the one that pulls me out of all the chaos around me and allows me to be me. I feel free when I'm with him. I feel free and myself for the first time in a very long time, maybe even my whole life. Everything around me, my whole life, it's a mess and unsure, except him and what he feels for me and how he treats me."

Kate's eyes widen as she sees my eyes tear up. "God, Ana, come here." She opens her arms and I walk to her without thinking twice. Her arms wrap around me, her hand stroking my back to calm me down. "Was your life before him really that bad?"

"I'm beginning to understand that I didn't have a life at all before him, Kate. I didn't have friends or a social circle except for Colton, my two brothers, and their partners, I didn't have a job. I hardly got out of that house except for lunches, events or red carpets. I thought that working at Port Bellevue would automatically change all that, but I'm seeing now that it never could. Christian did. He somehow, without actually saying anything about it, gave me the courage to end things with Colton, he challenges me in ways I seem to need and puts me in place when I'm behaving like a stupid, spoiled bitch, and I've learned so much about myself because of him. About what I like and what I want, and most importantly; what I don't want. He is not just a terror kid to me," I sob, completely losing control over my breathing. Everything is coming out; the anger, the insecurity, the fear. The whole mess.

"Okay, okay," Kate mumbles. "Breathe. Come on."

I will myself to calm down while Kate keeps rubbing my back. When the heavy sobs are somewhat under control, I pull back a little. "I'm sorry. I've just never had someone to talk to like this."

"That's okay. You can always talk to me," Kate smiles. "If you don't think you can wait six months while you see him every day, and you can't keep sneaking around like this, there is only one other thing you can do."

"Quit," I say before Kate says it herself. "If I quit, Christian can focus on school, and I can focus on my divorce. And if he still wants me after those six months, nothing is in our way."

Kate nods her head, a sad expression covering her face. "but you'll be back to sitting at home all day."

"I know," I agree. "But it won't be the same. I have you, and I'll make sure I have my own place, and I'm not with him anymore."

"You have to think about this carefully, Ana. I'm happy that you see that you and Grey can't continue like this, but quitting is a drastic decision. It's an irreversible decision and you need to be a hundred percent sure," she says seriously.

I nod my head once again while I wipe my cheeks with the sleeve of my sweater. "I know. I'll think about it and I'll talk to Hannah about it as well."

"Good," Kate nods while she squeezes my upper arm once. "We should probably help others out." She nods her head towards the door, which barely keeps the loud noise out. Sounds like they still haven't figured out what's for dinner.

"How do I look?" I ask her while wiping my fingers under my eyes to collect all the mascara that I've cried off. "Am I presentable?"

Kate snorts and moves her hand to my left eyelid before she takes some mascara away with her thumb. "You look fine. I doubt anyone will notice we walk in any way since it's feeding time."

I giggle and take the last few sips of my sprite before putting my class on the counter and following Kate through the door. As soon as I walk in, my eyes scan the group to see where Christian, and maybe more importantly at the moment, Leila is sitting.

I first notice how Lopez is writing orders down on a piece of paper. I hear some students yell different flavors of pizza, which means the choice has fallen on Italian. When my eyes reach the group of terrors at the end of the table, I first notice how Sara is sitting next to John, and how Dave and Leila are nowhere near them. It's a relief because for now, it means they aren't giving them information.

Across from Sara and John, are Christian and Leila, and I'm shocked and equally surprised when I see how Leila is hanging against Christian. His arm is loosely draped over her shoulder while he looks at something she is showing him on her phone.

I'm not sure what has happened in the short time that I was in the kitchen, but I'm flabbergasted by the charms of Christian Grey once again, as well as how easy Leila Williams seems to be. I knew she was a slut for him, but this a whole other level. I almost feel sorry for her.

"Ah, Miss Kavanagh and Mrs. Davies," Lopez smiles when he notices us. "Good to have you back."

Some of the students look at us as Lopez acknowledges our presence. Christian eyes move to us as well for a split second before his attention goes to Leila again, who didn't even look up from her phone.

"Indeed," Kate nods. "So, Italian I hear?" Kate walks over to Lopez determinedly, no doubt with the attention to see if there will be enough food. It's chaos and I doubt Lopez is in control.

Just as I want to walk over to them as well, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. When I take it out and look at the caller-id, I immediately frown.

It's Taylor.

I slide the green button to the right and move the phone to my ear, holding a finger against my other one to block out the noise of the hungry students.

"Hi, Taylor."

"Rabbit," he says, and the tone of his voice immediately tells me something is wrong. "Something terrible has happened."

"What?" I demand automatically. The panic rises in my throat, making it difficult for me to breathe. I've only heard Taylor's voice sound like this once before, and that was when I called him to tell him dad had fallen onto the ground.

"It's about Colton, Ana. He... He died."

For a moment I feel like I'm free falling. I feel that the color drains from my face while all the noise around me seems to fade. The only thing I hear is the beat of my heart, which seems to beat irregular all of a sudden. My vision blurs but I'm not sure why.

"What?" It's the only word I can get out. What as in what the hell? What as in what do you mean? What as in what happened?

"You need to come home as soon as possible, Rabbit. It's bad. Seriously bad."