Hi. Happy New Year!
I'm… still stuck and busy. So, I wrote a K/Z scene that was torturing me before I go back to the grind and trying to plot.
Chapter 117: Kaname and Zero
by lightpathetic
SARA STOOD there on the street and let the cold thread of fear slice through her until she was able to take hold of it, push it down to some dark manageable place, which she imagined were the legs of her deep aquamarine wedge boots with gold tips and heels accents which impeccably complemented her crimson tube dress, matching jacket and fuchsia and gold broach accessorised pill-box hat, all before turning to Seiren. She did strike a very stylish and colourful figure on the dusty street in … surrounded by her more soberly dressed guards and personnel on the now quiet street in the dead of night.
"Nothing. There's nothing left."
"Yes, my Queen."
"They've burnt it thoroughly."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Air-lifted them from the vehicle after opening it up like a sardine can."
"Yes, Ma'am."
Seiren said nothing else. She knew the Queen had seen the reporting. The eye-witnesses reported a police helicopter attending the crash. No one thought to question it, even though it did turn up very quickly after the car had hit the wall. Perhaps they were criminals?
Sara sighed and pretended to look around for clues again. They had pulled their lifeless bodies from the wreckage and flew off. Into nothing. No trace anywhere.
She knew it! She knew she should have never let him out of her sight. What was she to do now without her mate? This fucking stupid situation. Who turns into a girl, huh?! Who…?!
"Ma'am…?"
Sara looked back at Seiren. It was her tone. She sounded concerned. She glanced at a soldier behind Seiren's studiously calm visage and noticed the flop sweat and struggle to keep from trembling. The place was humid. To be expected from these regions. They should probably return to the hotel and the blessing of air conditioning. It's not like there was anything out here to see.
"I'm ready to go."
"Ma'am!"
Seiren ordered the car brought forward and the Queen turned to await its arrival, seemingly deep in thought.
"We'll need help, Seiren," Sara uttered as she resisted the call to the open cavern of the armoured but luxuriously appointed SUV. "Perhaps… the one that had helped find Zero that time."
Claude.
Seiren nodded and bowed.
It was already done.
KANAME sat down in the corner of the cage again and sucked absently on his bleeding finger. The act itself was oddly comforting. Familiar. Even with not having the craving for blood anymore. He was exhausted and frustrated. Desperate. He had to calm down and think. He liked to believe his success thus far in his life was due to more than his abilities where brute force was concerned. He'd outwitted giants of commerce and politics in his lengthy lifetime.
Think. Ignore the pain. The panic that Zero may never wake…
Kaname closed his eyes on this and tears began to seep again.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
He hated being this fragile. This weak. If he could peel off this skin and reveal himself, he would. In a heartbeat. Even if… he lost…
No!
He was sure. He wanted to be sure. He'd watched the beam of light from the one window near the roof of this… this dungeon make its way leisurely from his left to his right, over derelict cobwebs in the wooden beams overhead, to the myriad crates to his left in the corner, over Zero's right boot as he lay in his cage, over to the steps to the first floor to his right, before disappearing on the dark stone wall to the hours that claimed the light into dusk, eight times. Eight long days. His last… period… was two weeks before that. He had one more week to be absolutely sure…
Right?
He'd hoped, given the circumstances, to not have to contend with that on top of everything else. But now… he had to contend with what that meant on top of everything else.
"I think we'll take a break now, Juri. That rivet is a grim motherfucker."
His mother's name. He didn't particularly care what the sex of the child was but the thought of his mother soothed him far more than thinking his stoic and distant father had taken up residence in his stomach. And no, it didn't occur to him to make up some other persona for his child.
He wanted to give this child his parents' namesake. A child of Zero's and his seemed more… personal… given all they had been through together, and personal to him meant bestowing his family's legacy onto her or him in a tangible way. He'd planned to broach his desire when their first child was safely born, hoping Zero wouldn't recoil at the thought of naming their child after such prominent vampires. But it was not to be... Now, it seemed, they had another chance. He was already imagining how she would relate to her stronger siblings, knowing she would be far weaker, almost human. But… she would be his favourite.
His heart…
What was he thinking? None of that would matter if he didn't get out of here!
Kaname looked over to the meal tray and felt the resurgence of his appetite. Yes, he should eat. Keep up his strength. His weight. Even if he nearly always choked on the constant, inevitably cold SPAM sandwiches.
He fought to hide his suspicions of being with child, knowing it could be used as leverage in whatever was being done. He was now certain that they were hostages. Every day they took videos of him and Zero with a live newscast playing on an epad in the frame. Once… they'd threatened to set fire to them both to make him confirm he was alive into a cell phone…
He tried to tell himself it wasn't weakness that had made him give in. He had to live. Do what was required to… let them survive.
So Juri might.
Otherwise, he would have other options.
Kaname pulled his mind from what his raw fingers meant. The sharp edges of the cheap animal cage he was being kept in. He'd lived long enough. He could remove their leverage with one stroke…
But it wasn't that simple.
He consoled himself with his plan for them if he ever got out of here. Beginning with that cruel bitch and her ineffectual partner.
Kaname had figured out that they were in a remote location. He heard no other sounds save the odd cries of a bird and simply because these two were the only people he heard and saw. They were assigned to this task, such as it was. It was a good choice. Vampires could pick up a scent on a rotated person going back to their lives.
His eyes grew cold as he thought of all the ways he had gotten leads in the past on certain individuals. No doubt they had been learning as well.
How to hide from him…
He took some solace in having done his part to make them as terrified as they obviously were. Of course, it had also backfired spectacularly in the most insane fashion…
Kaname reached for the sandwich, inhaled to gather strength and bit into it, forcing his mind away to something else. He was tired wondering about Sara, Kei, those he loved, the throne… Everything. Tired of it all zinging through his head with nervous intensity and perfect futility. He chose instead to think on what did make him happy in all of this and gave a mirthless chuckle at the irony of naming his child with a human after his mother, the ultimate, strong pureblood Queen of Vampires. To amuse himself he would wonder what she would have said about it.
"Absolutely not. Charitable endeavour is one thing, but we have an example to set for our people. To degrade our standards is…"
"… an unacceptable weakness that could lead to our…"
Deaths.
Kaname focused on this thought, his eyes seemingly looking into a past and events long gone. They had worked so hard to be worthy of their people, sacrificing so much of themselves for higher service, but in the end... just one mistake, just one misjudged attempt for peace. With...
Kaname felt sucked into a swamp of regret based on his experiences. A dangerous exercise for a being so old. His parents had each other, the support of an equal and they had perished. What hope did they...?
"You don't have to be so afraid all the time. I'm stronger than you think, Kuran."
Kaname smiled as he leaned onto the cage near where Zero slept on, patting his stomach, surprised that his mind had unearthed this memory from the depths of his positively complicated subconscious, from practically nowhere, remembering as he did why it had been said.
Pure irony was definitely a thing…
- About two hundred years ago -
"AHAAHH!"
"Move back, please! Let them pass! Sunako-chan! Move behind the line or I swear I'll…!"
It was the usual scene during the evening, as the sun dropped out of sight to begin its efforts on the rest of humanity, these mysterious students of stunning visage and grace surfaced from the Moon Dorms and began a journey of their own to the Evening Classes. It was a welcomed treat to watch these… angels, dressed as they were in white uniforms with black trim, a complement to the Day Classes' own uniforms, walk amongst them briefly.
Several moments of heaven after a long hard day, in her opinion.
"Sunako-chan! I mean it!"
"Aw, Zero-kun! I can't see back there! And Idol-chan said he would say…"
"Aidou," Zero responded pointedly, "says a lot of things you shouldn't take heed of. Now get…"
"AHAHHAAHAH!"
"Hello, ladies," came the deep timbre to his left, "did you miss me?"
"AAAHAHAHAHHAH!"
Zero opened his eyes from wincing at the higher pitch and volume and turned to the other pain in question with prominent canines on his left…
"There," Aidou punctuated, as he removed his fingers from Zero's neck, or should he say, the "sticky" bandage dotted with a pattern of ripe strawberries which was the only one available in Cross' medicine cabinet this morning. Zero blushed as he moved away and tried to grind it into his neck, as if that would help it adhere. He was still healing from Kaname's last bout of opportunism – he'd had to leave Kaname before he could feed and heal himself - and he'd prefer being teased about hickeys than having to explain bitemarks.
"Get to class, Hanabusa-kun. You'll be late." Zero was grateful for the assistance with his medical situation, as you could tell.
"I have a few more moments for these lovely ladies. Mmmm, Mariko-chan," Aidou growled turning to a swooning redhead in front of him and taking her hand, "were you in Culinary Arts today? I lo-ove what it has done to your scent…"
"AAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!"
"Oh my God…" Zero covered his ears and reflexively pulled away from the conversation. It was all the more puzzling when the line of screaming students began to move away from him. Slowly but decidedly.
Zero frowned in confusion before realising what was happening. One just knew from Mariko's distraught gaze that she was involuntarily being separated from her Idol-chan. It didn't help matters that Aidou was already turned and bowing low to someone behind him.
Zero coloured in embarrassment as he too turned his back to the students in his line and met the eyes of… well.
At this time, they could be described as "dating"…? Sometimes, Zero would more accurately described it as an armed truce with mutual benefits. They were still negotiating being more intimate with each other but still thought, or hoped, it was not public knowledge. Their completed bond was still relatively fresh and Kaname often wavered between heartily resenting Zero and himself for becoming enslaved by him and being floored by some consequence that made him near desperate for... a certain surly ex-human vampire. The thing was, sometimes, you never knew which mood you would encounter to just look at him…
"I'm fine, you twit. Let them go," Zero said under his breath, still red from embarrassment, still concerned that everyone will find out what Kaname was trying to do. And why. Like he needed to be protected from a bunch of screaming children…
Aidou held his bow even as he heard Zero essentially try to call off his partner, a rather perturbed pureblood prince. The Night Class, many members of which also stood uneasily nearby – even Takuma, who had followed Kaname on his detour, seemed in two minds on whether to distract Kaname enough to let the two escape – knew quite well what was unsaid. Not much about Zero's comings and goings and… a pureblood in torment, or exquisite ecstasy, could be hidden from them. Like now. Zero and the humans around him may not be able to sense it but, though he seemed just mildly curious about the disturbance around him, Kaname's level of irritation had spiked in the last few moments. Aidou suspected he needed to show a lot of deference now given his role in Zero's nearly being stampeded.
"Aidou. Aren't you coming to class?"
"Yes, Kaname-sama. I was just saying 'hello' to some friends…"
"Save it for another time."
"Yes, Kaname-sama!"
They all stayed where they were, even the curiously subdued students behind Zero, some holding their breaths, Zero grinding his teeth, until "Kaname-sama" deigned to resume his trek to class.
This student was the most beautiful of them all: large brown eyes you could drown in, glossy thick black wavy hair that seemed to come with the urge to sink your fingers in it, porcelain-smooth skin, high cheekbones, supermodel-perfect limbs and red full inviting lips. But that was where it ended. The invitation. The Day Class students were afraid of him, not that most of them could articulate why. The ones that tried would begin at how he didn't seem to have much of a sense of humour, enlarge into being given a serious case of the creeps and end at how their other "angels" seemed to be ready to pee themselves when he so much as glanced at them. When his brow furrowed, they would tremble. They surmised it was for good reason. Maybe his father was the craziest head Yakuza?
Only Yuuki had gained any affection from him. In fact, they always watched in stunned reverence for how he would interact with her each day as he made his way to class. Whether it was a smile or a nod, a rare touch or words of greeting and encouragement. Yuuki's line on the other side of the procession was always orderly. Always. Students spoke of the chills they felt when "That One" looked at any of them in censure. Probably thinking of ensuring the enduring health of their families…
Therefore, it was equally a point of reverence that only Zero seemed to want to antagonise him. There was awe of his very evident death wish. But then, he was an orphan of some tragic history. The students always waited to see if today was the day Zero's dream would be granted. But as "That One's" unnerving gaze left Aidou, inspected the prefect head to toe as if deciding whether to have him killed today – as was his custom – before lingering on the garish bandage on his neck in distaste. More breaths held before "That One" eventually turned to continue to class, heading towards where Yuuki stood watching with evident curiosity about the delay, the students behind Zero heaving a sigh of relief. As well as the two vampires nearest them, for various reasons.
Aidou only gave Zero a knowing look before blowing a kiss to his fans and turning to head after the retreating brunette. Zero continued to grind his teeth as Aidou turned back to him.
"What is it?"
Aidou was frowning at him in confusion.
"Your bandage…"
Aidou turned away quickly as Zero realised, his eyes widening as he tugged up his collar and touched his neck. NO! He looked around him frantically, searching for even the trampled remnants to save him. Where was it?!
"Leave it, Zero-senpai. Nothing we haven't seen before…"
"Alright! The show is over!" Zero suddenly bellowed, ignoring the blushing and giggling girls. "Anyone still here in thirty seconds will be placed on dishwashing detail for a month! One…!"
"EXCUSE ME."
The entire Economics class stood, including the lecturer, when Kaname rose and exited the class, only waiting until he had to resume the lesson. It was not unusual. They all understood he had other responsibilities. He knew he didn't have to explain or care. That he was exceptional. But he tried not to be one of those purebloods. What Zero would describe plainly as "an ass-hole".
He knew without quite knowing where he was going, if that made sense. He was already "locating" him and deciding which exit to use to get there. He was running on instinct now and it both appalled and titillated him. He couldn't stop thinking of Zero standing there with the evidence of his possession on him like that, which Aidou had the audacity to help cover. To touch that area… He was trying not to show his irritation with the noble and trying not explode in impotent frustration of hiding what he really wanted to do… Zero should be with him. In Night Class, in the Moon Dorms, beside him.
With him.
Stop it. Pull yourself together.
This bond was making him regress to certain instincts that were best left buried in this day and age.
But there was more than that. His body was alive to something it needed. Sought. As he neared his mate it was becoming intense. He should leave and figure it out. He should go back to his rooms…
Kaname closed his eyes as the breeze buffeted his face as he stood on the roof of the North building, exactly where Zero was doing his rounds before heading off to dinner. He clenched his fist closed so tightly on the ruined sticky bandage in his hand, blood seeped between his fingers.
Leave. Don't do this.
Resist this…!
Kaname stepped off the roof and dropped to the ground.
ZERO turned with the two volley balls in his arms that he'd noticed under the bleachers in the school's gymnasium as his bite area began to tingle.
Shouldn't he be in…?
"Kaname!" Zero voiced in a stage whisper as he spied the brunette standing across the court, watching him with something akin to irritation. "Why are you here? What's wrong?"
Zero looked around for other students as he tossed the balls into the ball cage and headed over to his… well… you know.
Kaname didn't respond, staying where he was until Zero came all the way to him, his hands in his pockets. Zero noticed though, the slight tremble of his arms.
"Are you alright? Do you need me to…?"
Zero was puzzled, concerned, given he'd just been with Kaname. He shouldn't need him this soon. Were his cravings getting worse?
Kaname said nothing. He only looked at him, his face sullen. Not unusual. Kaname sometimes hated his need, tried to resist when Zero had no problem accommodating him. Perhaps, "no problem" was too strong a term. He wanted to help and wanted to make Kaname feel welcome. But the timing could be inconvenient to say the least. There were still students milling around after practice!
"Why don't you go back to your apartment? I can meet you th…"
"Don't you dare dismiss me," Kaname hissed, his eyes beginning to glow in warning. Zero stepped back in reflex. Kaname's tension and release seemed to smack him. His anger began to rise but then he noticed Kaname's turmoil…
"Kaname…?" Zero tried again, raising his hand to cup his face. To touch him, but Kaname pulled away, walking away only to return to pace in front of him in an explosion for tension and frustration. Like… a caged beast…
"Kaname, what...? Is it… Yuuki!?"
Kaname stopped at this and began to approach him. Zero backed away for some reason, concern marring his features. Until he was brought up by the wall next to the door. Kaname came in close, going to smell Zero's hair, then his right hand came up to push down Zero's collar and…
"Kaname, please tell me…"
"Shh. Don't move."
Kaname touched the marks on Zero's skin, tracing them gently before leaning in to lick them, his neck…
Zero moaned at the stimuli. It was that sensitive. But not here!
"Kaname. Please. Take us to your…"
"Why do you hide them? Maybe… if you hadn't hidden them…"
"What?"
Kaname began to trace the twin healing scars on Zero's neck again. He seemed mesmerised by them.
"You were trying to hide my bite…"
"Is that why you're so angry? I can't go around with vampire bites on my neck, Kuran! It's a secret, remember?"
Kaname moaned and pressed his body to Zero's urgently, almost squeezing the ex-human flat into the wall. He replaced his fingers with his lips then his hot, rough tongue, laving the marks sensuously as his body threatened to… burst.
"Fuck! Kaname! We can't…!"
"Zero-senpai?!"
A student had come in to look for him to close up the gym. Kaname pulled away suddenly and snarled. His face changing…
"Kaname! No!"
"AHHH!"
The student turned to run but didn't get very far. He was "seized" and rendered unconscious before Zero had even realised Kaname had moved.
"Kaname! No! Wait!"
Zero ran to where the child lay on the mats near the nets, checking him over.
"He'ss ffine. Assleep."
"You attacked a student! Why!"
"He startled me. I reacted…" Badly…
"What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this…?"
Kaname covered his face with his hands and shook. He only uncovered it when he felt Zero's hands on his own.
"I don't know, Zero," Kaname finally managed as Zero had watched him for what seemed like an eternity. "I can't think straight. I can't…"
"What?" Zero asked as he trailed off.
"I don't…"
"Just spit it out, damn you!" Zero growled, shaking him. "You always make this so fucking complicated. If you need a bit of blood, just tell me. There's no need to hurt anyone!"
Zero only meant to jar him out of his paralysis. But Kaname, already scared, angry and steeped in frustration and… something else, stabbed at Zero's throat and squeezed to shut him up, to subdue him. To dominate him brutally, his eyes alight with the euphoria he felt as he watched Zero's struggle to…
Zero next found himself on the floor next to the waking student, coughing to get his breath, the diminishing sensation in his neck telling him what he already knew.
He was gone.
ZERO CLOSED the door to his room seemingly on the rough day that he'd had. He leaned against it for a long while before kicking off his shoes, then pushing off into the room and beginning to undress.
The room was dark, indicating his roommate had already turned in or was off doing some late studying with a friend. Zero was used to being stealthy and negotiating ably in the dark so he thought nothing of merely going over to his bed and sitting, a brief respite before taking his shower and hitting the sack.
They were good for each other, the roommates. They both said little, were neater than most and kept to themselves. The small issue of Zero's vampirism didn't come up given Zero's diurnal habits and long hours. He was up and ready before his roommate awoke and returned after he was asleep. Any other inconvenient signs were offset by the fact that he was now stable and well supplied with blood.
At least he had been until recently.
Which brings up the question of the affair with the resident pureblood.
Zero mostly went to the Moon Dorms and Kaname's own apartment. It was spacious and private. Besides, he was the one that wanted blood and Kaname would not have condescended to approach him. However, things had changed considerably with the bond and Kaname found himself visiting the teen in his room far more than he should, the roommate beneath his consideration as he was usually unconscious or in that condition by the time Zero noticed Kaname was present…
"Kaname! Kaname?"
Zero suddenly grew more energetic and looked around him. His bite area was going nuts… But the room was small with twin small beds, cupboards and desks, being all the furniture that would fit. There was nowhere to hide a person. Zero pulled the door and looked out into the hallway and stairs, then retreated thinking he was being wistful because he missed him. Because… he was so worried about him…
Zero went to open the window, stuck his head out looked around, then up…
"I knew it!"
Kaname couldn't help himself. A smile touched his eyes as he saw Zero's reaction, his big smile. The relief he tried to hide.
"May I come in?"
"Of course."
Zero backed away from the window and waited as Kaname appeared in the room, a blur of motion was all he was allowed to see of the indignity of Kaname crawling through a small window into the Sun Dorms. He went over to his bed and sat as the elegantly dressed visitor cast a dismissive eye over his surroundings.
"When did you get back?"
"Small talk, Zero? Are my good manners finally rubbing off on you?"
Zero stayed silent and waited, too happy to rise to the bait. He'd been gone almost three weeks and Cross would not rule out completely if he would stay gone. There had been no word.
Kaname finally stopped his pretence of scoping out his current limited circumstances and moved to sit on the small wooden chair near one desk, turning it to face the teen.
"I only just got back, Zero. Thank you for asking. I put my bags down, had a meal and headed here when I'd realised you'd retired for the night."
Silence descended again as Zero waited. Eventually, Kaname would provide the reason for his visit. Questions sometimes just provided a reason for him to get angry, stubborn and resentful. He wasn't used to being questioned or scrutinised openly. And Zero was a unique thorn in his pride. Usually, Zero didn't give a damn about any of those points. However, right now, Zero was just too happy he was here to want to antagonise him.
Kaname watched Zero's unusually disciplined silence for a while before leaning forward and slowing shrugging off his black suede jacket. When it nestled in his hand, he looked around dramatically for a place to put it before tossing it onto the bed next to Zero. He watched as realisation dawned in Zero's eyes as he began to unbutton his cuffs. Leisurely, quietly, as Zero watched, the only other indication of what was about to happen was the slight acceleration to their breathing. Kaname next loosened his tie and slipped it over his head then began on the buttons on his shirt-front. Soon, he began to shrug out of it as well, revealing his broad shoulders and nicely honed torso, which tapered in lean enviable symmetry to the belted waistband of his trousers.
However, Zero licked his lips and swallowed, having eyes only for one aspect. He was salivating something fierce, his eyes fixed to Kaname's long pale neck as the shirt was flung beside the jacket and tie. Kaname noticed Zero's state, his fierce eyes and suggestive poke of his teeth, his own hand unsteady as he raised it and trailed his fingernails up his neck and held back his hair as he tilted to his right. He closed his eyes; his breaths audible as he knew… what would happen.
Kaname only gasped as he felt his lap fill with the welcomed warmth and weight of his bond-mate and the urgent preparation of his neck. He closed his arms around him, supported him as he bit, as the teen groaned in longing too intense to suppress as blood filled his mouth and throat until the loud, almost painfully greedy swallow. It was followed by several more and Kaname sighed contentedly, his body finally relaxing as Zero fisted his hair, crushing him to him, not letting him go until he was satisfied.
"DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?"
Kaname stirred reluctantly from the sweet lull of his satiated body. He then tensed as he thought about the reason for the question.
"No."
"We should…"
"Shhh, Zero. You know how much I loathe to argue right after we…"
He did. Zero also knew there is no better time. This was when he was weakest and most cooperative. When he most remembered Zero's importance to him. He pressed on.
"You attacked a student," Zero said softly, "and me."
Kaname made an irritated noise in his throat and forced himself to sit up from lying on Zero's chest and being caressed sublimely by his talented fingers. Zero loved everything about the texture of his hair and Kaname loved the resulting massage. He got over the indignity of being petted very quickly when Zero's fingernails first raked his scalp… He'd been blissfully unaware he made a low purring sound from a few minutes into it until he'd made a rather ill-advised denial during an argument and Zero remarked it was a shame because he'd miss "that weird sound" that made his entire body vibrate…
Kaname moaned as if in pain as the cooler air hit his chest, emphasizing his loss acutely. His limbs felt heavy and lusciously languid, his muscles refused to work properly. He'd paid and been rewarded for leaving Zero this long in equal measure, the resulting overload of sensation making him fall from the chair and into unconsciousness. He'd awoken on the floor with Zero staring into his eyes with concern which changed to a note of smugness when he saw the familiar glaze in his eyes. Zero was learning too much far too quickly, he thought. But he was an enthusiastic and voracious pupil, his youth sparing him most cares but the immediate and also imbuing him with an avid and insatiable fascination about him and his unique qualities that would make a toddler jealous. He was eager to make him comfortable with what he needed and perhaps, make up for the sacrifice that made itself more and more evident each day. And there was the hint of payback as well, he was sure. He knew well how far to go before Kaname lost himself to pure sensation. He also knew what he could have done to spare him.
It didn't help that simply being in contact with Zero calmed him completely. Just to hold him, to place his body between him and the world brought him peace. All the considerations of why they should be separated, secret, tended to draw his ire every time he thought of them and seemed trivial in comparison.
Now, with all of this going on, Zero wanted to start a fucking conversation…
"Zero, please. Can't we do this lat…?"
"Just tell me, Kaname. Please. I'm not trying to lecture you about it. I know it was out of character for you. That you already hate yourself for doing it. But…" Kaname just looked irritated at this. Zero continued quickly, "I just want to know what I did to make you…"
"Just drop it, Zero. It doesn't matter. It won't happen again."
"Of course, it does. I've never seen you so agitated or afr…"
Kaname gathered himself with admirable determination. He stilled immediately meeting Zero's eyes.
"You dare to suggest that I was…!"
"What should I think, Kaname! You were freaking out and then you…"
"I've had enough of this." Kaname stood and yanked his clothing from beneath Zero's body in some violence. "I've seen to you. I'll go now…"
"No! Fuck it…"
Kaname already had on his shirt and jacket by the time Zero'd said this. Zero stopped and took a deep breath as the pureblood paused by the window, his back to him. The brunette seemed torn as well. He loved being here. With him. Even standing here like this in anger. He loathed to admit how much he'd missed him. How he thought of him every day even as he'd tried to forget. To save himself and, perhaps, Zero. To examine why he'd behaved as he did that night. But it was like someone had taken over his body. No reason came to him. Just need. Desire. The scent and feel of Zero's flesh and blood. An obsession with joining with him. He felt euphoria take hold when he'd tasted him and… reacted badly when someone threatened to take him away…
That was as far as he got after several days of thought. Then he'd realised he was aching for him again. That he longed for his scent and smile. The feel of him against him. His gentle considerate nature. After days of that to come here to leave so soon almost physically hurt. So, the desperate command worked. Any excuse to… stay. If only Zero would let his shame wither away and be lost to time and just… let him hold him.
"Kaname. Please. Just… tell me what happened…"
"I don't know, Zero," Kaname finally replied, almost an exhalation of breath from a weary soul. He turned back to where Zero stood looking at him in fear and concern. Kaname turned away from his gaze, a brief view into his mental tortures surfaced onto his face before it disappeared into a type of resignation. "That's the truth.
"I left to protect you from it and to think. I'm no closer to a reason. But then with many things to do with our nature, reason rarely has anything to do with it.
"In any case. I'm resolved to never have that circumstance occur again."
"What do you mean?" Zero queried urgently, thinking the worst. Would he leave again? Zero moved forward to touch him, hold him in case he…
"I mean, Zero," Kaname responded, hiding his happiness as he easily adjusted to the contact, but only daring to trace his fingers along Zero's brow line to sweep his hair from his eyes, tenderly. "I've figured out it has something to do with my… bitemarks being visible on you at that time. The solution is therefore quite simple.
"I won't bite you again."
"What?" Zero uttered in disbelief, pulling away slightly, thinking Kaname was probably still delusional.
"You… heard me, Zero," Kaname confirmed, dropping his hand as he looked away from Zero's accusing eyes, hardening his resolve. "I don't need to. You're the one that needs fresh blood, not I. I was breaking the rules, anyway. Being self-indulgent. Weak. It's what got us into this…"
"Mess?" Zero volunteered as Kaname fell silent.
Kaname raised an eyebrow at Zero's characterisation but offered no other, leaving it to hang in the air like a welcomed critique or rancid condemnation. Zero felt his embarrassment acutely.
"Anyway," Kaname finally continued, sticking his hands into the pockets of his trousers as he turned away from Zero, as if to restrain their possible betrayal, "that will change."
"You're saying you won't b…"
"Correct," Kaname interrupted. It didn't help to keep saying it, especially as he was now beginning to feel the effects of Zero's meal.
"…Even when we…?"
"You doubt my resolve, Zero?" Kaname threw over his shoulder, with all the contempt he could muster. Zero delayed his response, only going to the bed and retrieving the forgotten tie.
"No, Kaname," Zero said, going around the pureblood to lift the article of clothing over the brunette's head to his collar and then slowly tightening it. Kaname let him, staying still, enjoying the contact. "I don't."
Kaname watched Zero's face for a while, as if searching for the lie, before pulling away slowly. He should go…
"I'll see you tomorrow, then? Are you going to class?"
"…Yes," Kaname answered at length, as he sometimes did to direct questions, as though his honour would dissolve into the wind if he lowered himself to being quizzed on his intentions. Zero had learned to ignore it.
"Good."
Kaname had turned to go to the window when he felt Zero grab him, he had to "stop" himself to avoid an accident. Didn't the boy ever learn? The times he'd thrown him half across the room by his mere momentum just because of attempts to hold him when he wasn't paying attention…
His anger left him when he felt Zero had settled into a hug of sorts, his body pressing into him hungrily. Kaname closed his eyes on the inevitable sensation that gripped him, his face, his nose going, seeking Zero's hair, inhaling…
Zero sighed as Kaname turned and held him back, too tightly, crushing him close into his body as if famished for just his contact. They fell into this easily, instinctively, searching for the comfort only these two could give the other. Zero became bolder, licking Kaname's soft neck, threading his fingers into his hair, the silky strands giving easily to his erratic caresses. Kaname groaned deep and guttural, losing himself to just what he'd craved for so long. He no longer felt shame in melting when Zero touched him. He felt everything else. Desperation, pleasure, acceptance, desire, safety… His nerves thrilled with needs that just Zero's merest breath on his skin, his touch could quench.
Zero…
Kaname lifted him into his arms as their lips finally touched, then…
Zero groaned into his mouth, his toes curling as Kaname's tongue twirled restlessly inside of him, his flavour beginning a welcomed assault on his senses. He did wonder if the bond affected him as well. Maybe it was so slight he didn't notice under ordinary circumstances. But when Kaname kissed him… It was as though he was shot clear of this earth.
Like… the first time…
IT WAS ONLY WHEN he was much older did Zero think back on the day twenty weeks prior to this and wonder how much of what it meant was shielded by his naivety. He and Kaname were both vampires. They were hungry for each other, the essence of each other, even before it became the subject of emotional investment. They took such intimacy as an aspect of survival, as an essential need like eating and sleeping. When it was over, he left. So, when... it had happened, it wasn't like his first kiss had been with Yuuki. Like a huge step that shook his foundations. No. It had been almost… natural. To taste him. Each other. The blood and flavour lingering there, inside. To share more of his excitement of having fed, the taste of Kaname's blood mingling with his exhilaration. Zero just knew satisfaction, a pleasure most essential to his senses when Kaname had first opened his mouth to him after going to clean the spillage from his lips and chin, as the pureblood had done before, but this time presenting a delicate, off-hand invitation the ex-human heeded, following that warm tongue inside the pureblood's mouth to let them both relish the aftermath. They were so intimate by then, even before the bond, sometimes liberties were taken that didn't feel that way. Their skin, their blood, their bodies belonged freely to the other during feeding… it was natural to explore, to find other delights for their senses, to savour each other in divine satiety…
Yet, he'd been very slyly seduced by this other dimension that had been carelessly tossed into the mix.
So, it had been jarring to him when Kaname had pulled away suddenly, leaving Zero in a state of… he didn't know. He'd felt bereft. He'd moaned and followed for more… of his flavour. It had been almost... electrifying...
"Kaname…?"
"You should go. I trust we're finished here?"
He was so cold, Zero fought to recover himself, to leave, before he caused further offense.
"…Y…yes. Thank you."
He'd gotten to his feet from the sofa in Kaname's quarters where they had chosen to do "it". Kaname was already sat forward and avoiding his gaze, his body tense, the steel in his demeanour suggesting that further intimacy would not be tolerated. Still, Zero thought of making up for his weakness.
"Do you want me to get you some blood tablets…?"
"I'll be fine. Give my regards to Yuuki."
At this, Zero pursed his lips and turned to go. A timely reminder of who they truly loved. It tended to dash the requisite cold water on whatever spell was cast when Zero fed, as Kaname well knew. It quelled the rush of elation that practically scored his veins afterwards and allowed him to try focusing on other cares besides the allure of a certain pureblood vampire...
But it was the oddest thing, when his hand reached for the doorknob, he came into contact with the slender digits of the pureblood himself.
"Well? What do you want?" he demanded, not looking up. Zero was puzzled by this action, but not by the huskiness to his tone, the blur to his vision. Dammit…
Then Kaname's reached for his face and lifted it, wiping the stupid tears. Then, leaning in slowly, to run his lips against the tracks of them. Zero watched in rapt attention, quite disbelieving and not a little embarrassed. He had been crying.
"Stop it, Kuran. I'm fine. Let me go…"
Zero had tried for the door again but it was no longer behind him. He turned in a panic and realised he was airborne…
"Wha…?"
It was then Kaname pulled him into his body and flipped them, Zero screamed like a little girl as he ended up settled onto and balancing by his own efforts onto Kaname's body, the white buttoned shirt with a vivid spot of red at the collar sliding precariously as Zero fought for purchase.
"Kuran!"
Kaname did seem quietly amused by this as Zero found a way to settle onto his body that didn't involve sliding onto the floor several metres below – Zero did admire the high ceilings in Kaname's decidedly old-fashioned quarters on occasion, it being far from his mind to have this unique perspective.
"Kuran! Put me down!" At this time, Zero disliked heights with the same passion he had for his distaste of vampires.
"I will. When we're finished."
"Kuran…!"
"You'll get a lot further if you ask me what I want."
Zero realised Kaname was in the mood to torture him, so he pressed his face into his chest, all the better to not see the floor and took deep breaths. Fucking fucker…!
"Vat go you moff…?" Zero's voice was muffled by a warm chest.
"Sorry?"
"What... do you want, Kuran?" Zero enunciated carefully, his face still nestled between Kaname's pectorals.
"No... It's no use. You'll have to ask me nicely."
The hell he was going to call him 'Kaname-sama'. Zero lifted his head and peeped to gauge the drop… but he never saw it. This was when Kaname slid lower and their faces matched.
"Where were we?" Kaname breathed, his lips temptingly close. Zero frowned not understanding.
"What?"
"I see. Isn't no fun without my blood on my lips? I can fix that."
Zero was just uncomfortable. He was scared witless, too many metres off the floor for his comfort and Kaname was in a teasing mood he never experienced enough before to take for granted. Then Kaname bit his lip and watched his face intently as the stream began to flow, snaking beguilingly from the wound to the corner of his mouth and then…
Zero moved to trap the trickle before it would drop to the carpet below. He slid his tongue back, along the soft cheek to Kaname's lip and tugged it away for the savage canine to suck until the wound closed, his tongue lapping at the area in grim frustration. Zero caught himself then, what he was doing, but he soon lost himself again when Kaname changed from cradling his head to trapping it for access to his mouth, their breaths mingling, catching, issuing as tongues fought for entry, to taste, to devour.
Zero remembered nothing but sweetness and light, sly pulses of pleasure and hunger for more of this flavour. In his fervour he bit Kaname's lips and tongue again and again, adoring the texture and taste. He yanked his shirt and collar away from the soft neck with mindless greed, which neck that was offered as a respite by the trembling pureblood. The rush of blood in his temples sounding loud as he licked and nipped the area, seeking more of his devastating essence.
Zero's hands roamed freely, sliding with abandon under his partner's shirt, inside his waistband, groaning as he felt his warmth, the intimate heat and a new scent that made him curious about how it would taste. He was lost in a spell he couldn't break free from because it could never occur to him to break it. But it did dispel spectacularly when Zero's hand curled inside the warmth so carelessly, his fingers sank deeply into a welcome heat and Kaname cried out in desperation… just before they slammed into the floor and Zero screamed for another reason…
Anyway, when Zero's arm had healed and he was in the mood to notice anything else besides his pain, his eyes met a brunette who wouldn't return his gaze and whose colour seemed higher than usual. And who escaped to the kitchen too eagerly to retrieve some blood tablets for himself when he was satisfied Zero was okay and resting comfortably on his sofa. Zero had probably drained him to exhaustion, he was sure. He hadn't been able to stop himself! He wondered at it and at Kaname's letting him to do it, whatever he wanted and wondered if that was what being a vampire couple meant…
It was only much later did he realise how pivotal that was. Not so much a first kiss as an awakening, shoving past barriers into a deeper understanding of who, or what, they were. Kaname, of course, knew what it meant. If he hadn't given in to temptation then - one part carnal and one part atonement and a desire to show Zero what he felt was natural and should not be the subject of his disgust - who knew where they would be now? But he had given in. And since then, all they'd wanted was more. And not long after that did Kaname lose himself and tried to devour Zero the same way... with quite devastating consequences...
AND HERE THEY WERE.
Now Kaname wanted to put the spilt blood back into the vein, as it were. Long after they'd found such pleasure in each other and became lost to it, to each other, each time.
"Kaname…!"
No…!
He'd stopped kissing him, removing his tongue from being bitten then sucked by Zero as though the teen had wanted to draw him inside him, the ex-human using his grip of Kaname's hips with his knees to full advantage, leveraging himself higher to plunder Kaname's mouth with indelicate savagery... which the pureblood always encouraged, especially when the ex-human assaulted his fangs, their roots, with his tongue with positively reckless abandon, goading him into... Kaname trembled at the plea, his firm resolution slipping away to a half-forgotten notion as his entire being throbbed with need, with desire so intoxicating it stripped him of his will. All he wanted was to drown. In him. In his…
Yesss…!
Zero's legs fell bonelessly from Kaname's waist as he was licked there… He curled into Kaname's grip helplessly, his body alive to what was to come. His bite area sang with a chorus of sensation that skittered in sharp bursts through his body. Zero pressed into Kaname, willing him to ease his suffering. To take him. To bi…
Zero moaned headily as it came, his eyes sightless, rolling until the whites had nothing left. Zero's arms found strength after the initial pain, but as he felt the first draw of his lifeforce, he held Kaname's head to him, his breaths loud to his ears. He had few thoughts, buffeted as he was by sheer bliss, his and Kaname's, feeling as their bodies prepared for afterwards, beginning a tense ache that characterised people starved for the other. Kaname knew as well as he did what it was like, what they were like together. Blood sharing was more than necessity, it was bound up in who he was as a vampire. With a voracious appetite for his mate…
"AAAHH!"
Zero screamed in pain as he hit a surface. Hard. His eyes swam immediately as his entire being surged in pain. It took him a while to open them, his confusion complete as he strove to figure out why…
"Kaname…?"
Zero forced himself to meet the fierce red gaze opposite him. He'd been slammed into the wall, quite painfully, the force of the blow shoving his breath clear from his body. He could hear the commotion at the noise. The students running into the hallways to investigate or escape.
"Put me… down, Kaname."
Kaname took a while to respond. His mind seemed to be all bloodlust, rage, pounding heartbeat, loud breaths…
Fear.
"Kaname. Please. It hurts…"
The fog seemed to clear and Kaname realised… himself belatedly, "releasing" Zero and turning away, his breaths frequent, rasping. He'd defended himself against… Zero!
Why?!
He was not well…
"Don't go, Kaname." Came the firm voice. Almost calm. Just the merest hint of a tremor. "Sit down. I'll be right back."
He should go. Leave the school. He was losing his mind. How could he trust himself to stay among humans, among children, the most vulnerable of them…
Go!
Yet he stayed. Going to Zero's bed and sitting, pulling the pillow before he could think better of it to bury his face into its depths, drawing deep of his scent. He absently listened to Zero's efforts to calm the startled students, explain he had accidently knocked over his cupboard. He was scolded for being clumsy and inconsiderate, was enquired about any injuries, the whispered speculation about the odd way he held the collar on his jacket but eventually the door again opened to the room and Kaname heard as Zero exhaled in relief to find him still there as he'd been… told to do. Kaname told himself it was the least he could do since he'd hurt him…
Zero went over to the bed and went immediately to nuzzle Kaname's soft hair as he sat sightlessly staring at the twin desks. He seemed defeated.
"I hate when I hurt you," Kaname finally whispered, "I hate it."
"I know, Kaname. Look, I'm fine. See for yourself."
Kaname, who had closed his eyes on his spate of self-loathing, opened his eyes and looked over at the teen. Zero encircled him in his arms and squeezed, sighing into his hair.
"I wish I could figure out how to make you happy, Kaname. I want so much to be worthy of you. But all I seem to do is prove how inadequate I am."
"Zero, it's not you…"
"Of course, it is. If I hadn't bitten you…"
"Stop it. I won't go over this again. It was necessary. It was all necessary…"
"Yet you're afraid to touch me. To b…"
"Stop this wallowing in pity. I can't… stand it," Kaname bellowed, going to stand, to pull away from what he wasn't ready to concede. He saw the hurt in Zero's eyes but felt the safety of his retreat. Still…
"Yes, I'm afraid, Zero. All the time. You're so frail compared to me. Yet, what I feel for you… is untamed. Violent. I don't know how to control it sometimes…"
"You don't have to be so afraid all the time. I'm stronger than you think, Kuran.
"The problem is, you don't trust me."
"This bond should have been with my equal. Someone that can take its demands…."
"Aren't you being condescending, Kuran?"
"I am merely speaking the truth."
"Kaname, I have met all of your needs so far, haven't I?"
"Actually…" Kaname began stiltedly. Zero made a noise born of exasperation.
"Alright, then most of them?"
"Yes, Zero. You have."
"Then tell me what I did..."
"Nothing, Zero. I promise."
"Then why did you leave like that?"
"I needed to. I might have done something… I would seriously regret. But I came back, to your side. As I'll always do. Don't worry about it."
Kaname tried holding his gaze reassuringly but the teen looked away in anger.
"I hate when you treat me like a child."
"You are, Zero. Especially, compared to…"
"...You. I know. You think I'll never understand…"
"How could you when I don't?"
Zero continued his scrutiny of his roommate's bedspread, his irritation growing with the pureblood. He always condescended to him. Yet, this ex-human was capable of making him tremble in need for him in ways that mattered, despite his age and status. When they were together and Kaname begged him for release, he didn't look at him with this hauteur. After all they meant to each other, being at the very least bond-mates, couldn't he trust that as much as Kaname wanted to protect him, he wanted to do the same for him as well? Even from pain. And Kaname had seemed in pain. That was what had haunted him most these last weeks. The look Kaname'd had before he'd disappeared. There was something he'd wanted from him. Something more than usual. And Zero couldn't provide it for some reason…
Zero gasped and touched his neck. He met Kaname's amused eyes.
"You're already healed. I didn't take that much."
Zero fought tooth and nail to hide his disappointment. "It" had had something to do with the bitemarks. If only he hadn't fed…
"Leave it, Zero. Please?"
Zero's shoulders hunched in defeat and he nodded. Kaname came over and dropped a kiss on his bowed head and turned to go.
"Do you have to go tonight, Kaname?"
"Yes, Zero. I'll see you tomor..."
...row.
Zero lay on the bed and held his neck, his body still aching for his touch. What should he do? Should he leave it or, should he try to find a way to help? He didn't know.
All he knew is he didn't want to lose what he had. And he didn't like how… lonely Kaname'd looked just now.
IT WAS TWO more weeks before he saw him alone again.
Zero was feeling it too. He'd begun to look Kaname's way without wanting to, especially as he had sworn to ignore him as much as he was being ignored. To stand there pretending Kaname wasn't passing close behind him as the Day Class students shoved to get closer was its own torture, but he was nothing if not stubborn. It was clear Kaname wanted to cool their interactions to the basic, not even allowing him into the Moon Dorms to see him.
He'd decided all by himself to end what was starting to grow.
Zero, had begun to despise even his room now. There were too many memories. It was just cold and barren now when he turned in. Before, for too many weeks he would come upstairs to find a white uniformed guest with a sly mischief, and more than a hint of red, to his gaze as he came in the door, his roommate provocatively out cold or absent and Zero would drop everything and mount him as they would only have fifteen minutes before Kaname's next class began. And he would insist he had to make it. Now it taunted him with its emptiness or quiet when he went inside.
Still, Zero did the best he could to cope. During his absence he had grown even closer to Yuuki, telling himself it was for the best, as he sought a solace only she could provide with her tender, kind heart. He was more human than vampire. And he did know he loved her. As did Kuran. Her delicate, generous nature a welcome contrast to what they both held barely in check….
"Zero."
"Oh! The hell…!"
So, it had startled him when he turned from the stationery cupboard and found Kaname standing behind him. He didn't even have warning. He and his fucking stealth and speed…
Zero grabbed at the notebooks he'd been asked to retrieve, half of which had begun a clumsy descent to the floor, but they all lifted from his grasp, ordered themselves and returned to the self, all as Kaname stood there looking at him, his hands clenched in his pockets.
"Yes?" Zero asked rudely, coldly. "What do you want?"
As if he didn't know.
Kaname's jaw worked as he looked away from Zero's belligerent gaze. He could tell the teen was hostile as well as hungry. He tried to stay calm. He supposed he should understand. He hadn't dealt with this in the most sensitive way. Just the necessary way.
"We'll need to be quick. It wouldn't do for them to come looking for you."
"Nicely done, Kuran. Thinking I wouldn't have the time to make you return the favour…?"
"Stop it, Zero. I want to be mature about this…"
"Fuck you. Fuck. You. Go to hell."
Kaname stepped towards Zero causing him to back away to separate them.
"I never said I would not take care of you. I just think the other demands…"
"'Demands'?"
"...are not necessary."
"I'm fine, Kuran. I've already tapped other resources. You needn't trouble yourself further."
Kaname tensed at this, his eyes narrowing, his arm muscles bunching as his fists tightened. He wouldn't dare… Kaname looked away and took a deep breath. Zero did know quite a bit about him. Including just what to say to make him lose his…
"It's no use trying to make me angry. I can sense your hunger. You're even trying not to tremble."
Kaname raised an eyebrow as Zero failed to conceal a slight tremor, the glow of his eyes already making them a lilac hue.
"Still, I would rather die. Thank you."
"Why are you making this so difficult. I explained why…"
"You are a moron. You think you can just cast me aside when it suits you…?"
"You think it suits me, Zero?" Kaname seethed, going closer. "Is that what you think?"
"You're an ass! I'm done with you! Leave me alone!"
"You know why. I can't trust myself with you…"
"I'm not going to touch you again. I told you I wouldn't the third night you turned me away. I meant it then and now…"
"Zero. Just drink, damn you. Just…" Let me protect you.
"No. I can't trust you, remember? I touch you, feel your body against mine, taste you, absorb you and then you're gone and I am left to be tormented by this stupid yearning for you until you deign to show up again. Or maybe you'll decide all by yourself you won't. No, thanks. I can get blood elsewhere. From people who give a shit about me…"
Zero gasped as Kaname's aura turned dark, the atmosphere stifling, but he held his stare. He would not cooperate under these terms. Kaname came to a grim decision. If he already hated him. Well…
Zero saw it, in his eyes before…
"No! Don't you…!"
Zero eyes became vacant as Kaname removed his jacket and loosened his shirt. He closed the gap between them and held Zero gently as he forced him to bite, only closing his eyes as Zero began to feed, the tension and ache in his body releasing upon joining with his bond-mate.
Zero didn't know what was best for him.
He did.
"KANAME-SAMA. I apologise for my intrusion…"
"It's okay, Chairman. Come in. I was about to get up anyway to deal with some correspondence. What's wrong? You seem…"
"It's Zero. Do you know where he is? He didn't attend his classes today and he is not in his room. Yuuki's worried because he avoided her last evening and now, he's missing…"
The Chairman saw as Kaname's eyes seemed to look inward before focusing on him again. He had a hunch Kaname was closer to Zero than he would admit to him. He'd once walked into the living room to see Zero had arrived for dinner and had merely sat to speak quietly with the waiting pureblood, whilst he and Yuuki finished their preparations. Zero would never have tolerated that before and Kaname had looked too relaxed. No doubt they'd thought it too usual an activity to hide: pre-dinner small talk. But from then, Cross had gained perspective on too many other events involving the two. He'd welcomed it, considering Zero was a young vampire and also, had been tragically bereaved by a pureblood vampire.
"I have a hunch I know where he is headed. Leave it to me. He'll be back by dinnertime."
Kaname closed the door on the pacified Chairman Kaien Cross before he went over to the telephone.
ZERO JERKED awake feeling as though someone had walked on his grave. He rubbed his eyes and peered out of the window of the train but calmed as he saw the familiar landscape from his youth.
His family was buried here. He belonged here. It was a good place for his ashes.
He felt better now he'd decided to do this. It seemed right somehow.
Zero closed his eyes again and pulled his coat close around him, carefully ignoring the other passengers of the car as he tried to settle again. When he slept, he didn't think about what he was leaving behind. Or who. He didn't think about his longing for a life he would never have. He was a level "D" vampire, who probably would continue to deteriorate to level "E" anyway without…
Without…
Zero jerked awake again as he felt the train slow down. His head swam from yet another dream of… him. Kaname kissing him, happy, lying on him as Zero traced his back, caressed his hair…
Stop it. Stop it. It's over.
Over.
Zero bent to reach under his seat for his bag. He felt nothing. Wakefulness came urgently as he looked under the seat and then around him for the bag. The bag. He couldn't lose it. It contained…
"Looking for this?"
Zero winced, closed his eyes and took a deep, deep breath. He didn't turn around to face him. He rather hoped he would go away.
"Where are you going?"
No. He was too furious, too hurt right now to speak to him.
He heard nothing for a long while, during which time Zero just stared out into the night. He wasn't going back. Eventually, he'll realise he was a waste of his precious pureblood time and leave. He was no longer a threat to Yuuki and he can get someone else worthy to be bonded to.
Kaname did eventually move from his seat behind Zero to sit beside him on the recently vacated seat. He wondered if Zero'd noticed how quiet it was in the car. So, they could talk. Not that it mattered. Nothing else matter but…
"Zero…?"
No response. He was sitting there with his eyes closed, his fists clenched, with all the tension of a coiled snake. Kaname tossed the bag onto the seats beside them and reached to touch him, to caress his hair…
Kaname easily parried the resulting fist to his face, allowed the other to his arm but ended the matter neatly by grabbing the boy's arms and pushing him back against the window.
"Listen to me…"
Zero growled and began to kick him instead. Or tied to. The foot was also "parried" and Zero ended up thrown over a certain brunette's shoulder as he grabbed the bag and headed towards the back of the car to the exit.
"ZERO. ZERO!"
Zero fought the fog of slumber as he responded to Yuuki's voice. Was it a dream? Or was he…?
No. He remembered what happened now.
He sat up and opened his eyes on the room. He was in the room in the Chairman's apartment in which he stayed when he overnighted. The next thing he noticed were the occupants.
"He's alright, Yuuki. Don't fuss…"
"Zero, are you okay? Kaname said he had to knock you out."
"He did? Did he say why?" There was a distinct edge to his voice.
"He would only say you were being you. What happened?"
"I'm sorry, Yuuki. I just wanted to…"
"Collect your gift from the seamstress in the next town. Yuuki knows about it now, unfortunately."
"You should have told me, Zero! I was so worried…"
"That would have ruined the surprise, Yuuki," Kaname said reasonably.
Zero looked away from Kaname's steady gaze, daring him to tell them the truth, that he was so weak, so pathetic, he was going to... Zero forced himself to meet Yuuki's scrutiny and nodded, trying to smile sheepishly.
"I'm sorry to worry you all. I forgot to tell Chairman because I was too worried about missing the train."
Yuuki hugged him then, relief flooding her body. She didn't want to examine the lie too closely. She'd seen how Zero was yesterday, but the whole truth would come out later. After he got over whatever this was while she watched him like a hawk. Zero scented her tears and held her back, his coming as well.
He swore he wouldn't do this to her again.
The Chairman turned then and squeezed Kaname's shoulder before leaving the room, his relief clear to see. Kaname's jaw worked as he watched Yuuki and Zero hug but after a while he reminded them of his existence.
"Yuuki, may I speak to Zero alone?"
"Now? Can't you scold him later?"
"It can't wait. I have to go soon, anyway. I'll be gentle, I promise."
Yuuki turned back to Zero, who only tensed and looked away but didn't show any other signs of objection. She stood and nodded, thinking to leave the two vampires alone. For a few minutes.
Kaname couldn't do too much damage in such a short period of time.
ZERO KEPT HIS EYES on the poster of a rock musician which, between that and pop idol on the wall near the door, was Cross' idea of what a teenaged boy would put in their room. Zero was grateful now to focus on the screaming face of the neon green haired singer as Kaname came over and sat on the bed beside him.
"We've made this far worse, haven't we?"
"'We'?"
"You contributed with your stubbornness."
"What?!" Zero demanded, turning finally to look this idiot in the eye.
Kaname waited a few beats then looked down to the bedding.
"I'm sorry."
"'Sorry'," Zero repeated listlessly. "What are you sorry for, Kuran?"
"Zero…"
"You're about to make this catastrophic, Kuran."
Kaname closed his eyes briefly before looking into Zero's red-rimmed ones again.
"What I did to you was wrong. I shouldn't have 'made' you drink. I shouldn't have stopped seeing you like that. What happened scared me and I was cowardly. Unworthy of you. Please… forgive me."
"No."
"No!?"
"I hate you. I hate you so much."
"Zero…"
"You took me over and forced me…"
"You needed blood and I needed you…"
"You tried to forget everything. Forget me. Even…"
"Don't be absurd, Zero!" Kaname seethed, getting up to pace away from the boy in agitation. "I can never forget you. I'm aware of you every waking moment! But you know that. That's why you waited until the sun hit my windows and tried this… this stunt…!"
"Stunt!? Stunt? You ass-hole. You fucking…"
"It didn't work, did it? I came and retrieved you. I came after you. Can't you understand what that means?"
"Why? Is it some other higher vampire shit you won't bother to explain to the peasants? Why did you stop me, huh? Why? I could have ended this 'mess'. You would have been finally free of me…"
"Free? You think it's as simple as killing yourself? Don't you think I haven't already considered…?"
Zero gasped as Kaname trailed off. He tried to get up to leave. Kaname came back to the bed, to stop him.
"Leave me alone…!" He bellowed.
"Zero, that didn't come out right. I'm trying to say it would never be that easy and you know why. You of all people know… why."
Zero turned away again but Kaname enveloped him, held him tightly.
"I was so scared I'd lost you until I realised you were still 'there'. I never want to know such fear again."
"I thought you really wanted to be free of me..."
"No, Zero. The opposite is true. I wanted you to be free of me."
"Why? I've never said I wanted…"
"Zero. You are so young. A child. I've lived many human lifetimes over. I've loved freely and benefited from it. To have you trapped to me like this when you hardly know what you want. I wanted to spare you. To figure out a way to free you… of me…"
"You're wrong, you know. I do know what I want."
"I know you think you do, Zero. But this is just physical. I can't even tell you where the physical effects on your body, which begin just because I'm a pureblood, end and you, just you, begin! And it's worse because... I can't even begin to be objective about this to help you. But you know the truth. You know who you truly love…"
Zero grabbed Kaname's face then, the one that struggled to stay composed as he tried to explain to Zero why he was bad for him, and pressed his lips to his and kissed him. As mentioned, it would be years later before Zero realised how precious this moment was. The difference between what they did before and a kiss born of affection, love and true tenderness. This he bestowed on Kaname, mostly to shut him up but also to finally confess the truth. He was in love with… him. Quite desperately.
Kaname, felt it immediately, however. He pulled away, but his forehead stayed touching his mate's…
His lo…
"No..." Kaname shook his head as he closed his eyes, trying not to want this. To give him a chance…
"Kaname, it hurts far worse when you shut me out. I want you to rely on me, trust me and I want to be able to rely on you. You made me... rely on you. Every stunning, breath-taking inch of you. You can't stop me now. It's impossible. You might as well kill me."
Kaname held him again, squeezing him tightly to him. He'd messed up. Reeled in a remarkable person before he'd realised what he'd done. Now, he wanted to fix it. He could probably still do it. If he concentrated…
RAP! RAP! RAP!
"Kaname! Zero!"
Yuuki tried the door. It didn't open.
Kaname pulled away guiltily from Zero's arms and stood. He didn't meet his eyes.
He couldn't do it! He couldn't face…
"What about Yuuki?"
Zero looked towards the door then. He knew well to what Kaname referred.
"I also love her. I think… there is room in my heart for you both…"
"Really?"
Kaname stuck his hands in his pockets again. He was not sure he trusted himself just then.
"Anyway, I already know she is safer without my loving her like that…"
Zero's breath caught as he looked up at Kaname's sad, knowing eyes.
"I didn't mean it like that! At least you can fight off a hungry level "E" vampire."
"A fight would not be necessary," Kaname deadpanned to the struggling teen.
"You know what I mean," Zero confirmed, flushing in embarrassment at the unintended slight. "I'm saying that Yuuki feels like a lovely dream I have when I miss being human. The hunger pains wake me up soon enough."
Kaname sighed and turned away from Zero's melancholy to the vibrating door, the future conversation with her playing in his mind. He dreaded it.
"We'll talk later. I have to go."
"Wait."
"What?"
"I want something from you. If you are truly sorry…"
"Is it not enough for me to say it?" Kaname retorted, fully offended. Did he think he apologised to just anyone? He forgot his focus on the vibrating door and Yuuki possibly hurting herself.
"I think you know how you felt that night but you don't want to trust me with it. Am I right?"
Kaname remained silent. This was neither the place or time even if he wanted to go into it, which he didn't. Zero sighed and nodded.
"Open the door, Kaname. Cross is trying to talk her out of going for an axe…"
- presently -
KANAME found his mind back to the present and looking without enthusiasm at the half-eaten SPAM sandwich.
Zero hadn't pressed it. He'd just waited. He just had to wait until… the inevitable. Until Kaname gave into his basest desires and well… he did find out what it was about. Kaname remembered Zero, still damp from his shower – he'd needed one after Kaname was finally able to move away from him covered as he was in bruises, teeth and claw marks but the shower was really for… something else he was covered in - came over to where Kaname sat in self-loathing on the freshly changed bed and kissed him, deep and uncompromising in his love. Their love, he should say. Then and since. Zero only made some joke about how it was all wasted on him as a male vampire. Of course, Kaname wouldn't have had it any other way.
Until now. Kaname laughed mirthlessly. Now he was the one possibly knocked up. Figures. Has anything in his life been normal since Zero charged into it?
Kaname tossed the sandwich back onto the tray to be faced at a later time. He thought of a bath, having been in the same clothes for over a week now and he felt uncomfortable. He could use some of his drinking water on a piece of cloth and pretend he was camping.
He removed his shirt and jeans, sighing in relief, when he heard a noise by the stairs.
Kaname got to his knees and peered across the darkened room to where he could just make out someone…
"Do you want a shower, Girl?"
That was their name for him. Or various derogatory terms. He didn't offer an alternative.
Kaname thought to refuse. Something about the way he was looking at him… Still, he recognised a wonderful opportunity to gain more information on their location and even, an opportunity to escape. Still he played it cool. It was probably also an attempt to manipulate him.
"I was about to have one, yes. May I have another bottle of water?"
The dim figure came downstairs and approached the cage.
"I can do better than that," Donovan offered, his eyes roaming over the breasts Kaname genuinely forgot to cover. "I can take you upstairs to the bath. Shelagh is gone for a few days. She was the one that wanted to be unreasonable.
Uh-huh, Kaname thought. This play was older than he was….
"Just the water. Thanks."
Donovan scratched his chin in thought for a while – Kaname supposed the gears were rusted from disuse - then took the keys from his belt and opened the cage and pocketed the padlock before turning to head upstairs. Kaname's eyes popped open at this, all manner of actions racing through his mind.
He could get Zero!
He could try for the window!
He could finally stand erect outside a cage for the first time in fucking days!
"You have twenty-one minutes before they check in. You have to be in the cage when that happens. You can empty the bucket and wash down your little palace as well if you want to. However, if you don't move, I'll lock it in a couple minutes. Your choice."
Kaname closed his eyes and took a deep breath. No wonder this shit worked. Desperation made one do stupid things.
Kaname pushed the door to the cage open and crawled outside for the first time since he got there. He went over to Zero and inspected him, noting he was indeed breathing, noting there was nothing in his pockets. He pulled him to inspect his skin for a symbol, a reason for this stasis. But then he heard keys and jumped to his feet.
"Alright! I'm coming."
Kaname stroked Zero's cheek and turned to grab his clothes and headed for the stairs, his eyes filled with disappointment having found nothing to use as a weapon but he hoped there was something to use upstairs.
to be continued
lightpathetic wrote this but these main characters are not mine. They belong to "Vampire Knight".