A/N: For those of you are worried: I won't stop writing The Senior until it's finished. I promise! It might take me a little longer to update sometimes, but I'm having too much fun with this one, so don't worry! You're all dying to know what happened to Colton, right? Sorry for the cliffy, but I'm sure it makes this one so much better. I want to point out that there is a flashback in this chapter. You'll know it when you read it! Thank you for all the reviews and as always: Enjoy! X Milou.

Forty-nine: All out.

FROM FAIRYTALE TO NIGHTMARE: COLTON DAVIES DIES AT AGE 28.

Colton Davies, CEO of Davies & sons Media, died on the night of thirty to thirty-one October. His family confirmed in a statement sent to this newspaper, that he was found dead around one-thirty yesterday morning. More information hasn't been brought out about the tragic death of the young, promising millionaire and the family asks for privacy and time to deal with their loss. Remarkable is that Anastasia Davies, spouse to Colton, wasn't mentioned as one of the consigners in the statement.

Davies, born November fifteen, 1990, was married to Anastasia Steele, who reportedly wasn't with her husband when he was found. Many questions are still unanswered but trusted sources close to the couple claim that the two were going through the process of divorce.

The source also claims that Davies was found in Club Calor, an exclusive, adult club known for its explicit themes. The source doesn't want to share what Davies was doing there and how he was found, but he assures us that he wasn't with his wife.

The paper is snatched from under me, making my head shoot up in surprise.

"You shouldn't read this, Rabbit. It'll only fuck with your mind. Besides, you have more important things to do today," Taylor says, folding the paper and throwing it on the kitchen counter behind him.

I know he is right but for some reason, I can't stop looking at all the articles. It's like I need it to know it's real. The fact that my phone is more ringing than not doesn't make it any easier.

After I got the call from Taylor, I immediately went to my room to pack. I didn't cry, I didn't ask why it had been Colton, I think I barely felt anything. Because Taylor didn't want to get into detail over the phone, I just wanted one thing: going home.

While I was packing, Kate called Brown in my name and informed him about the situation. Of course, he agreed that I needed to fly back as soon as possible. Taylor texted me in the meantime that he arranged a seat for me in the plane that would depart at eight. The same one as José.

After I'd packed, I went straight into the cab to Schiphol Airport which is why I didn't have the chance to say goodbye to my other colleagues and the students. When I passed the dining room, the door was open and I did hear some students mention my name when I passed. Kate assured me that she would explain.

The seat Taylor arranged for me was in business class, and because of it, I didn't see José at all. The flight was comfortable, but it still felt like it took days to get to Sea-Tac. When we finally landed, I practically jumped out the moment the doors were open.

Luke and Hannah picked me up and went straight to Taylor's house after that. It was around eleven when we arrived, and Taylor and Gail were waiting for us. Then, I finally got all the details about what happened.

"I hate that we have to tell you this," Taylor starts, rubbing his eyes in the process. He looks tired with dark circles under his eyes and his hair unstyled.

We are all sitting around the table, Gail and Hannah on each side of me, Taylor and Luke across from me. Luke's face is pale as well while he looks at something nonexistent on the table. Hannah's hand is moving up and down my back, while Gail holds my hand.

Everybody looks affected by what happened, and I feel guilty because I can't seem to show any kind of emotion. I feel passive, and I have no doubt that my face shows that as well.

"Just tell me," I demand when they stay silent. Even now, when my husband just died, I feel like they still want to protect me from things.

Taylor looks at Luke and gives him a small nod. In answer, Luke nods as well while he takes a deep breath. "Hannah and I were in Club Calor yesterday night. Do you know that club?"

I frown at his question. "No, I don't. Why? And what does that have to do with this?"

"Club Calor is an exclusive BDSM club in Seattle," Luke continues, obviously hating that he has to tell me this. "Since recently, Hannah and I go there sometimes to..." He waves his hand, no doubt hoping that I can fill in the blanks.

"Okay, I get it," I tell him as I realize what he wants to tell me. I really don't want him to finish that sentence and by Hannah's expression, she doesn't want him to either.

Next to him, Taylor can't seem to look at Luke. He looks at the table now, his finger drawing something on the wood. It's suddenly a very awkward atmosphere, and I feel bad for Hannah since I know that she wasn't even into all this shit before she met Luke.

Luke nods, relief washing over his face for a moment before his expression darkens. "We were about to leave the room we used when there was a commotion in the hallway. A man was screaming for help. It was a scream that oozed panic and fear, so I went to the hall to help him with whatever was going on."

"I opened the door and saw that the man was indeed completely panicked. He was crying, his face was pale and he was shaking as well. He didn't say anything about the reason for his screaming, he just cried and kept pointing to the room to his right," Luke says, his expression almost as if he is going to be sick and it makes me fear the worst.

"So, I went in with another guy that came to check on what was going on. That's when I saw Colton."

My eyes widen, but somehow that's the only reaction I'm able to show. What the hell is happening? How can my life turn in this direction?

"And?" My voice is soft and fragile, the conflict clearly audible.

Luke's face turns a little paler, and I can tell his mouth is dry because his tongue is darting over his lips non stop. "His wrists were bound with ropes which were attached to the ceiling. He was naked, and there were a few other items attached to his body that made it clear that they were in the middle of a scene. His body hung there, completely limp with his head down, obviously unconscious, maybe already dead."

Luke and Taylor look at me intently, gauging my reaction. I'm just staring at them with a null expression on my face because how am I supposed to react? I have no idea.

"It was clear that Colton was that man's submissive," Luke clarifies as if I didn't catch that part. "The man that was screaming in the hall was his Dominant."

"Clearly," I snap, my arms crossing in front of me. Where there was nothing moments ago, I now feel the anger rise. Anger and confusion. Anger because how can Colton do that to me? Confusion because I just never in a million years thought he would do something with a man.

"Right," Luke says. "So, I pressed the emergency button which sends an alarm to the security and then went back to his Dominant, who was still standing in the hall in shock. Hannah stood next to him, trying to calm him down. I asked him what happened, and he sobbed that they were in the middle of a scene when Colton suddenly seemed absent. When he asked him if he was okay, he rambled complete nonsense. He tried to form sentences, but his Dom didn't understand him at all. A few seconds later, the complete left side of his body started to spasm and it seemed like he lost all control. That's when his Dom panicked and ran out of the room."

"Who was he?" I ask, surprising everybody, including myself. I have so many questions at this point, but somehow I want to know if I know that Dom.

"Someone from England, his name is Alan. Colton and he just hooked up that night, he didn't know him."

"Okay." It's all I say. Again, I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what I expected when Luke started talking about a BDSM club, but I certainly wasn't expecting Colton with a guy.

"Okay?" Taylor frowns, no doubt surprised by my reaction and lack of showing any type of emotion. "Rabbit, is that all you have to say?"

Somehow his question triggers me. The anger that I felt towards Colton, suddenly seems to turn into a rage at the whole world. Rage, impotence, confusion, and somewhere deep, deep down, also grief.

"What do you want me to say then?" The anger rises in my throat, but the sentence is out in a half bark, half sob. "How sad I am that my husband, who not only cheated on me with women but apparently also with men, died while he was hanging at the ceiling in a fucking BDSM club?"

My whole family is looking at me with wide eyes. They're lost on what to say too because they know that nothing will make what happened better.

"I'm so confused," I sob. Hannah immediately wraps me in her arms once more, and for the first time since I heard the news, I properly cry. Not because he died, but because he left me with this mess.

"I know that this is hard, Rabbit," Taylor says, his voice a little stern. "But there is more."

My head shoots up from Hannah's shoulder. I see Luke and Taylor in a blur because of my tears, but even then it's clear that this might not have been the bad part Taylor told me about over the phone.

"Hannah and I left the moment security arrived at the room because I knew it would be a matter of time before it would leak to the press and I obviously don't want my name mentioned in combination with this. So, I don't know what the paramedics said about his condition, but those symptoms usually mean that there is something going on in the brain." Luke's expression is worried and underneath the worry is definitely a little guilt as well.

"You hit him with that bottle that night, and I've punched him as well. I have no idea if the things are connected, but it is fucking weird that a healthy guy like him suddenly dies."

Jesus, I didn't even think about that. "And you don't know what the cause of death is?"

Both of them shake their heads. "We don't but you're still his wife which means you are allowed to go to him. I'm not even sure why the paramedics or the police didn't call you," Taylor answers.

"Does his family know? His parents?"

"They do. I've contacted them after I called you, but they already knew so I think they heard from the hospital."

It doesn't surprise me that I haven't heard anything from them. Colton and I hardly ever saw them. He wasn't close to his family at all. Colton was quite the loner now that I think about it. He didn't really have friends, outside of the woman he screwed around with. What I am surprised about, is that the hospital called them instead of me.

"Do his parents know about what's going on between you and Colton?" Gail asks, speaking for the first time since we started this conversation. Her hand has grabbed mine again, her thumb slowly moving over my knuckles.

"They didn't hear it from me. I don't think so though. Colton desperately wanted to keep it quiet. He wanted to stay married to me for some reason, so why would he tell his parents?" I sigh and rub my hands over my face. I suddenly feel exhausted.

"Do you want to see him?" Taylor asks. I can tell he has postponed the question as long as possible.

I think about it for a moment. I can't think of any reason why I would. After everything I've heard from Taylor and Luke, I actually doubt if I ever knew him at all. But for some reason, a tiny part of me wants to see him, just to know that this is really happening.

So, I slowly nod my head, surprising my brothers. "I think I do."

Both of them nod their heads. "Do you want me to make the call?" Dear Taylor. Always the big brother.

"I'll do it," I tell them. "But will you two come with me?"

"Of course, Rabbit. We'll be there."

When I finally went to bed after that long talk, it took hours for me to fall asleep. Everything that Luke and Taylor told me kept running through my mind. I have so many questions, most of them related to who Colton actually was. How is it possible that I never notice that he was into guys as well? Did he want to stay married to me because he is gay? Is he bisexual? Was it just a one-time thing or maybe even an experiment? Did he go to BDSM clubs regularly?

I think I have a part of that last answer already since he knew about Luke and his preferences, but how is it possible that Luke didn't know it about Colton? And how did Colton hide the fact that he is submissive this good? All he did was try to control me and boss me around. I have so many questions and the realization that I likely never get an answer now that he is gone, almost makes me panic.

"Do you need anything?" Hannah pulls me out of my thoughts. I didn't even notice that she and Luke walked into the kitchen.

"Can I have an Advil? My head is killing me." My fingers rub my temples, hoping to soothe the constant hammering.

Hannah nods and walks to the cabinet while Luke takes the stool next to me. "Are you ready?" He asks while wrapping his arm around me.

"I don't know. It all feels unreal," I tell him honestly.

I called the mortuary this morning and they told me I could come over at eleven after the section on Colton's body was done. It's now ten-thirty, and I'm dreading it more and more.

While Hannah hands me a glass of water and an Advil, Taylor says, "We should go."

I nod my head and take the Advil, closing my eyes as I seem to have trouble swallowing the pill. We need to go to our house first so I can grab a suit for Colton. The mortician asked for clothes that he can wear since he isn't wearing anything now.

I nod my head and stand from my stool. I'm feeling a little dizzy, my stomach is rumbling and my eyes burn. I'm literally sick of everything that is happening.

"Let's go."

"Do you want us to go in with you?" Luke asks. We are sitting in the waiting area and the receptionist is letting the mortician know that we're here.

I shake my head. "No, I'll go alone. If I need you two, I'll let you know."

For some reason, it doesn't feel right to go in with Luke and Taylor. I have no idea what to expect, and Luke has basically seen him dead already, but I still feel like I need to do this alone.

"We'll be right here." Taylor squeezes my hand before he lets go.

"Mrs. Davies?"

I look up and find a short woman looking at us. We are the only ones waiting, so she knows I'm the Mrs. Davies she is looking for. I stand from my chair and grab her outstretched hand.

"I'm Petra Langman. I've taken care of your husband since he was brought in here. The section on your husband has just ended, so you are able to see him now. Please follow me."

I take a deep breath and take the suit I brought along from Luke. I then follow Petra to the elevator. "The mortuary is in the basement," she explains before she gets in and presses the minus one button.

I ignore the shiver that runs through me and just nod my head. "How does he look?" My voice sounds unsure and it's exactly how I feel. I'm scared to see him.

The only dead person I've ever seen is dad, and I remember how that got to me. He was so pale and so cold. The longer I looked at him, the more I hoped that he would move. Back then, Luke and Taylor were with me, and we saw him in a suit since we decided to let the mortician take care of that before we saw him.

Now, I'm alone and I have no idea what to expect. The only thing I know is that he died in the middle of a BDSM scene. I don't know much about BDSM, but I do know that those scenes can be quite rough. What if I see the traces of it on his body?

"He looks okay." Petra gives me an encouraging smile. "We've provided the first care."

"What does that mean?"

"We've made sure his eyes and mouth stay closed and we've washed him. During the section, the pathologist anatomist made incisions on his head and his chest. The ones on his head are neatly covered by his hair but the ones on his chest and abdomen are visible," she explains. "Don't worry, he looks peaceful."

I frown but once again nod my head. I find it hard to believe that he looks peaceful. How can he look peaceful after how he died?

"When do I hear the results of the section?"

"As soon as they've reached the conclusions," she smiles, not saying anything else. I think she isn't allowed to say anything since it's an investigation.

The doors of the elevator open and I'm met with a white hall that seems to go on for miles. Petra walks straight to the second door before she opens it, waving her hand to let me know I can walk in first.

I close my eyes for a second, the penetrating scent filling my nostrils. The scent smells like death and it reminds me of when we saw dad.

When I open my eyes and walk into the room, I immediately notice an aluminum table in the middle of the room. On it clearly lies a body, a white sheet covering it from head to toe.

Petra walks pass me and to the table. "Are you ready?"

I nod my head, not able to say anything. My eyes are focussed on the white sheet. I can make out his legs and chest, just as his nose.

The moment Petra takes away the sheet, the air is knocked out of my lungs and my eyes instantly start to water. Everything suddenly seems real. I'm not sure what's shocking me all of a sudden. He is pale, his lips grey and his nails and fingertips blue, just like his back. The incisions on his chest are very clearly visible. They're big, covering his whole chest and his abdomen until his bellybutton.

He looks very young, his expression neutral. On his wrists are faint blue marks, just like on his nipples and I can't help but shiver at the evidence of how and where he died.

"Here, let me take this from you. You can touch him if you want," Petra says while she grabs the suit out of my hands.

I take three steps until I'm standing next to him. From up close, I see faint reddish-blue stripes across his chest and abs. It's not hard to guess what these marks have caused and it once again reminds me how and where Luke found him.

"Why?" I sob while my hand moves to one of the marks on its own accord. His skin is cold but soft as I trace the mark. Emotions overtake all my senses as I look at him. The anger and the hurt, the confusion, and yes, now that I'm touching his cold body like this, also sadness and grief.

My hand moves to his, his fingers stiff as I move my hand around his. It feels years ago that I held his hand, and therefore it feels awkward. "I hate you for dying like that."

Just like my reaction to how he was found, I find myself at a loss of words now that I'm standing next to him. There isn't anything I want to tell him. Not even that I loved him before he first cheated on me.

"You know," I whisper while I lean over him, my hand squeezing him as hard as possible, "I never really loved you. I thought I did once, but I didn't. I know that now because I love someone else. I love him like I haven't loved anyone in my life. And he loves me, completely and intense. You failed, Colton. And I might be married to you forever now but you never had my heart. It belonged to him since the first time he fucked me."

I make sure Petra doesn't hear me, keeping my voice as low as possible. For her, it will no doubt look like I'm saying my goodbyes to him, to my husband, and in a way I am.

"Bye, Colton. I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart that I won't miss a single thing about you or our life together. I hope you'll burn in hell." I place one kiss on his cold lips to seal the deal. To let him know that I really mean it.

Then I turn around. "Thank you for giving me this moment," I tell Petra.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Davies. Do you want to put his suit on yourself?"

"No, thank you," I smile politely. The idea alone is making me gag. "I trust he is in good hands. Thank you again."

Petra nods and smiles before she opens the door for me. The moment I step out, it somehow feels like a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders. For the first time since a long time, I feel free. Free, just like how I feel when I'm with Christian.

When I arrive on the main floor again, Taylor and Luke are still waiting for me in the waiting area. The moment I step out of the elevator, they both stand and open their arms. Without a word, I walk in their embraces.

"How was it?" Taylor asks when we pull back, his thumb moving over my cheek.

"Fine," I mumble while taking a deep breath.

"Were you able to find a little closure?" Luke asks before kissing my forehead.

I nod my head. "Yeah, I did."

"What do you want to do now? Do you want to go home?" Taylor squeezes my hand while he and Luke direct me to the exit.

I shrug. "Just home is fine."

I know exactly where I want to go now but I know that I'll have to wait a little longer before I can see him again. A few hours to be exact because then he will be back in the States and right now, all I want to do is be as close to him as possible.

Right now, all I want to do is tell him I love him. Because I finally can. Because I'm free.