Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.
Pink and Gold
Peach was dusting a vase, humming to herself when Toadsworth came running in. "Princess! I have bad news!"
"What is it? Did Bowser finally beat Mario?"
"No! It's worse!"
"We're being invaded?"
"Worse than that!"
"Fuzzy overpopulation?"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's WORSE than that!"
"Would could be worse than Fuzzies?"
"Aheheh… remember the Mario Kart 8 tournament and uh… Metal Mario brought a friend over?"
"Yeah…?"
"She's coming to visit."
Peach's eyes widened. "What?!"
Suddenly, the doors swung open. "Hello, organic sister of mine!"
Peach groaned. "We are not sisters."
"Ha! That's what you think, but look at us, we're practically related!"
"You were practically made by metals forming together and then dyed in pink and gold colors. I was actually born into this world."
"At least I'm not organic. I'm far superior than you are."
"What's THAT supposed to mean?!"
Pink Gold Peach smirked. "I'm far more durable, I basically have a metal boyfriend, I don't even let myself get kidnapped… what's your excuse? You let yourself get kidnapped, your boyfriend is non-existent… and you're not made of metal, which last I checked, is way better than your skin tone. I mean, look at you, you practically get sunburned in the summer heat? Me? I just get hot… and that's that."
"Well, at least I'm the more popular princess!" Peach countered. "No one even likes you!"
"That is not true. I have the most respectful fanbase."
"Who's in this so-called fanbase… yourself?"
Pink Gold Peach glared at her. "Oh ha ha, very funny… come here!" She yanked Peach straight to Toad Town against her will. "You see, Peach… I'm far superior than you. You have a time limit with age… but with me? Me and Metal Mario will last forever, I'll take over your kingdom when you die… and everyone will bow down to me."
"Like anyone would bow down to metal."
"Oh yeah? Watch." Pink Gold Peach turned to the crowd who were minding their own business. "HEY EVERYONE! I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM WHEN THIS PATHETIC LIFEFORM DIES!"
"…Who is she again?" A Toad asked.
"Got me. Probably a Peach cosplayer." A Koopa shrugged.
"A Peach cosplayer that sucks… they didn't even get the face right. Looks like really bad aluminum foil."
"Oh yeah, they're definitely bowing down to you." Peach snarked.
"Give 'em time. Pretty soon, I'll have a metallic army, and then I'll have metal subjects. We'll be invincible."
"Holy smokes!" A voice exclaimed as they saw Wario jawdropping at them and he ran over. "Peach! Where did you get this gorgeous statue?!"
"Ah! Wario, you remember me from the Mario Kart 8 Tournament, right?"
"Eh? I don't remember seeing you."
"Uh, hello? Pink Gold Peach? Girlfriend of Metal Mario?"
"Nope, I only remember Metal Mario."
"Ugh… of course your primitive simple mind would forget about me. I mean, it's no matter, I'll just dispose of you and everyone else when I eventually take over."
"This metal… it's pure Pink Gold! It's incredibly rare and worth a fortune!" Wario exclaimed.
Pink Gold Peach smirked and turned to her doppleganger. "You hear that? I'm worth a fortune!"
"Yeah! I'll just have to melt you down and then I'll turn you into pink gold coins… and then sell them to where I'll be rich! FILTHY RICHER THAN I ALREADY AM!"
"Yeah! Melt me down! That's how much… I'm… worth… wait what?"
"Come along, you're coming with me!" Wario said and picked up Pink Gold Peach.
"H-hey! Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!"
"I'M RIIIIIIICH!" Wario took off running.
"No! NO! PUT ME DOWN! HEEEEEEEEELP!"
"At least we humans don't get melted to coins!" Peach called back and then laughed. "Sucker."
New Kid In Town
Wii Fit Trainer paced around her studio. "I don't understand it! Why haven't any of my clients been coming in lately? This doesn't make sense."
"Have you seen the news lately?" The Wii Fit Board asked.
"No? What happened? Has there been an epidemic?"
"Weeeell… just take a look." The Wii Fit Board pressed its foot on the TV Remote.
"In other news, a lot of people are getting a lot more fit from this new trainer in town. This lady in question is known as the Ring Fit Trainer, where she gets people active by squeezing this Ring Con with their body, giving a lot of people proper exercise. We haven't seen anything like this in years. This is Lisa Lavender signing off… because I'm about to do this Ring Fit craze myself!"
"What… excuse me, I'm the Wii Fit Trainer, I've been getting people to exercise for years! What's so special about this Ring Fit lady anyway?"
"Well, apparently, this Ring Fit Trainer is a spiritual successor to you. You were on the Wii, this is on the Switch."
"What, so I'm yesterday's news?!"
"That's not what I meant."
Suddenly, the doors burst open. "Oh my, what a lovely studio!"
The two of them turned their attention to the Ring Fit Trainer making her way through the studio. "You must be the old trainer, Zee Fitty… was it?"
"Wii Fit." She folded her arms. "And who are you?"
"I'm the new Ring Fit Trainer, the new lady in charge of exercising."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"You moved on that Wii Balance Board. I get a lot of people exercising by not having some gimmicky piece of plastic."
"Hey!"
"I'll have you know that I turned an entire island into an exercising wonderland known as Wuhu Island!" Wii Fit Trainer shot back. "What's your excuse?"
"I have an adventure. You just basically do nothing while standing on that piece of junk."
"Who are you calling junk?!"
"Hey, that is no way to talk to him like that!" Wii Fit Trainer scowled. "I got a lot of people moving!"
"And I got a lot of people moving off of a board. I also have a final boss. Meanwhile, you have people driving around on a Segway popping mole balloons. In what way is that exercising? Oh, and then there's your so-called ski jump, walking on a tightrope on a high rise, sitting down on the board while trying not to have a candle fizzle out… I could go on. Oh, and there's that Advanced Step where you're moving to the beat of a song… on the Wii Fit Board." Ring Fit Trainer folded her arms with a smirk. "I'd say I have you beat."
"I also do yoga and stretching, you know!"
"Hmph! You do your little baby version of exercising, this is for competitive exercising… and now if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking over this studio and making it my own."
"What?!"
The Ring Fit Trainer brought out her Ring Con and pressed her hands together, making a shockwave that knocked her and the Wii Fit Board out of the studio. Before their very eyes, they saw the Wii Fit Studo's name being changed into the Ring Fit Studio.
"…What do we do now?"
Wii Fit Trainer got up, scowling. "The only way possible."
"That being?"
"War."
Fishy Surprise
"Ah crud, they left me behind on accident!" Morgana exclaimed. "Oooh, I knew I shouldn't have slept in!" He groaned. "Gah, how do I make it up to them?" He rubbed his chin in thought and then noticed a poster on a wall. "Hmm?" He walked over to the poster to see what it was.
"Animal Village's Annual Fishing Competition! Come gather as many fish as you can!"
Morgana drooled. "That totally works! I can give them fish to make it up to them! …But how do I do that… I can't do it alone…" He mused and then pounded his fist into him palm. "OF COURSE!"
Later, at the Animal Village…
Isabelle turned her attention to some footsteps approaching her. "Oh hello there! I see you want to be part of the competition?"
"That is correct." Morgana nodded.
"Team of three?"
"Yes!" Morgana nodded, as his teammates consisted of Blake and Incineroar.
"Alright, have at it!"
"All of that glorious fish!" Blake drooled.
"Roar!" Incineroar licked his chops.
"Hey hey! Focus! We're doing this for my team. We shouldn't get ourselves distracted by this!"
"O-Oh, right." Blake sheepishly rubbed her cheek. "Let's do it."
"Yeah!" Morgana nodded as they headed to the pier.
"Here are your fishing poles!" Tom Nook happily gave them their poles.
"Who needs fishing poles?" Morgana grinned as the three of them dove into the water.
"Oh goodness! That's not what I had in mind!" Tom Nook exclaimed. "…I even had a fishing boat for them and everything!" He mused, watching a fish breach out of the water as Incineroar burst out and attempted to stun the fish by landing on it with his elbow.
"BANZAAAAI!" Blake yelled crazily, hopping out of the water with a fork and knife.
"Mwahahahaha!" Morgana breached out of the water and dove back in.
"That's peculiar… I thought Incineroar was a Fire type?" Tom Nook wondered to himself. "Hmm… maybe I was mistaken."
"Oh no, it's a Fire type." Kapp'n said while chilling in his boat. "I am to believe that Incineroar doesn't really care when he's hungry."
Tom Nook sweatdropped. "I see…" He mused as Morgana came out of the water with a fishing net with a boat load of fish, and Blake and Incineroar both had fish in their mouths.
"This is all I needed!" Morgana grinned. "Come on, you two! Let's head back."
"Riffe."
"Roarf!"
Once they got back to the mansion, they went to the backyard and cooked up all the fish. "Theeere we go! They're gonna love this!" He giggled and then looked at the fish. "Oooh, they look mighty tempting… I'm sure one fish wouldn't hurt."
Sometime later…
"Ah… that's the stuff." Morgana smiled, having a bloated belly alongside Blake and Incineroar.
"We're baaaack!" A voice called out as the Phantom Thieves returned.
"Oh, there you guys are!" Morgana grinned. "I made some food for you guys!"
"Uh, what food?" Ann asked.
"Huh?" Morgana looked to see that the bucket containing all the fish was completely empty. "…Crud! We went overboard!" He exclaimed as Blake and Incineroar both sweatdropped. "Oh, I am so so sorry! I was trying to make it up to you because I didn't go with you guys!"
"Sorry? What are you sorry for? The new museum we went to wouldn't allow cats anyway!" Ryuji said. "Apparently they have this new scanner at the front entrance that scans your bag to see if there's any bad content. Apparently, animals aren't allowed in there, even emotional support animals for some reason, which is total BS!"
"Wait… so, I went through a fishing competition in an attempt to make it up to you guys for sleeping in?!"
"Afraid so." Akira nodded.
"DOUBLE CRUD!"
Pancake Massacre
A camera was inside a fridge, right behind a plate of pancakes. The camera would pick up the sounds of Nora groaning. "I'm so hungry…"
"Hey, you! Stop!" Grif was heard.
"Nora, there are better alternatives to pancakes! This is completely unhealthy!" Sarge was also heard from the camera.
"I don't care!" Nora ran over to the fridge and opened it up.
"Hey, don't do it, girl!" Grif yelled.
"Don't do it!"
"Miiiine!" Nora happily ate the pancakes right when she closed the fridge.
"Hey hey hey! No! No more pancakes!" Sarge yelled.
"Yeah, give me those!"
"Hey! Hands off my pancakes!"
"You are completely obsessed with them! It's time for you to- Nora… put the hammer down! Put that hammer down! OH CRAP! OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAAAAP!"
"Grif! NO!"
"HIYAAAAAAAH!"
"GAAAH! M-My skeleton! She-she hammered out my entire SKELETON!"
"Ooof! Ow! You took out Grif's skeleton! That was supposed to be my job! Agh! Ow! Why, I wanted to take out his spine first so- GAAAAAAAAH! MY SPIIIIIIINE!"
"AAAAAAGH!"
Later…
"Sooo, how did you guys get like this?" Dr. Mario asked as the two of them were in casts. Grif was in a full body cast.
"Don't. Even. Ask." Sarge grumbled.
"Mmph… Mmph."
"Shut up, Grif!"
So, remember that third TF2 skit I teased a while back but I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was? I finally remembered what it was. Ta-dah!