Division

Death, Little Death, Zwei, and Drei all looked at the plate of cookies. The cookies were the last from this particular temple, and all of them were still feeling a little bit hungry. It helped that the cookies had been baked by the finest cookie-maker in at least several mortal centuries.

"I suppose we should split them evenly," Death pointed out, silver eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "There are six left, so we should each get one and a half."

Little Death, who wanted more than just one and a half cookies, did what children both mortal and divine had been doing since time immemorial. She pulled out the puppy dog eyes. Given how adorable she was, and how much Death was a pushover when it came to her daughter, the older goddess did the smart thing. She grabbed Zwei and brandished him at her daughter.

The dog immediately replied with his own puppy dog eyes, and there may or may not have been a rip in the space-time continuum as quite possibly the most adorable young goddess in the divine realm found her puppy dog eyes facing the originator of the expression. Of course, Little Death wasn't about to give up. She picked up Drei, and the three-headed dog unleashed his own puppy dog eyes.

And unlike Zwei, he didn't have just two eyes. He had six.

Alas, Little Death and Drei had made a crucial error. For Zwei was no mere dog. He was the Watchdog of the Abyss, one of the most powerful of the Divine Beast in Creation. His puppy dog eyes were on an entirely different level, and the younger pair were soon forced to admit defeat.

"Heh." Death smirked. "You two have got a long way to go before you can beat Zwei." However, her smirk faded as Zwei turned… and directed his puppy dog eyes at her. "Seriously?" She summoned a cloth and tied it over Zwei's eyes. "There. Now, I don't have to worry about…" She trailed off as Little Death and Drei resumed their cuteness-based assault.

Several more cloths later, and Death was finally safe.

Or so she thought.

When cuteness failed, Little Death demonstrated that she was Bureaucracy's daughter just as much as she was Death's. The young goddess pointed out that as a young goddess, she still had plenty of growing to do. Wouldn't it be better for her development if she got more of the cookies? After all, Death was already fully-grown. She didn't need the cookies as much as Little Death did.

Drei added his own argument. Everyone else only had one mouth to feed. He had three heads, which meant he had three mouths to feed. The fairest division, in his opinion, would be to give him three cookies – one for each mouth – and for the rest of them to get one each.

Death pointed out that even if Drei had three heads, he still only had one stomach. Likewise, if Little Death was so eager to grow, then Death would be only too happy to procure some wonderfully healthy vegetables for her.

It was at that point that Death realised she had made a grave miscalculation. While she'd been arguing with her daughter and her daughter's dog, her dog had made off with the cookies.

"Zwei…" Death vanished in pursuit of the dog with Little Death and Drei right behind her.

They arrived in Bureaucracy's realm to find Zwei sitting on Bureaucracy's lap. The dog was eating three of the cookies while the goddess enjoyed the other three.

"…" Death's eyes narrowed ominously, as did those of Little Death and Drei. "You'll pay for this treachery, Zwei." She paused. "And so will you, Weiss!"

X X X

Author's Notes

As always, I do not own RWBY. I'm not making any money off of this either.

Heh. Nothing like some time with Death!Ruby and her kid. Luna (the kid) takes more after Ruby than Weiss, but she's not afraid to draw on some of that Weiss-style arguing when she needs to. Unfortunately, Zwei is the perfect combination of cunning and cute. He just so happens to use his cuteness so often that people forget how dastardly he can be when he puts his mind to it.

If you enjoy my fan fiction, you might want to check out my original fiction on Amazon. You can find me there as L. G. Estrella.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.