Forever and Always

This isn't the End

Casey was in the house, their back door was open, and he could hear the birds twittering. He knew if they weren't careful, they'd catch Midnight's attention. Both cats were currently bathing in the spring sun on the porch, lying flat out and content. Casey could just see Pumpkins tail through the open door, he was sitting on the couch, reading, only stopping when his phone pinged.

It was a message from Severide, telling him to come out to the end of their yard. He frowned in thought, as far as he was aware, Severide was still at the boat yard. Nevertheless, he got up and walked out into their garden. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight that greeted him.

"Oh my God! You finished it!" he exclaimed, smiling as he saw Severide standing, shirtless, hitching a boat to the jetty. "When did you finish it?"

"Made the final touches this morning, and she's seaworthy for sure. Is your vision complete now?" Severide asked him, arms out, emphasising their whole house.

Casey grinned. "Almost."

"Good. We need to christen her, name her," he enthused.

"I've never named a boat before," Casey responded.

"Well, there's a first time for everything…"

"Kelly, it's brilliant," Casey spoke, grinning as he continued to look at the boat.

"Should be, it's taken me fifteen years!" he exclaimed.

"How do you christen a boat then? Do I go get that bottle of champagne we have in the refrigerator? Feels like a waste to smash it…"

"Just some wine, and glasses," Severide told him.

He paused. "Wine's ok?"

"It's fine, Matt," Severide answered, smiling at Casey's sudden concern, but he understood it.

"Ok, just checking," he responded, nodding.

Severide smiled, rolling his eyes as Casey turned and made his way back up to the house, and a few hours later they were out on the lake. Severide was at the helm, looking proud of his creation, looking back at Casey every so often, his heart content.

It was three weeks before their wedding and Casey was sitting in his doctor's office, he'd been feeling more and more lightheaded recently, so he'd had to come in for more tests, worried about his heart and lungs. He had more pulmonary function tests, and scans of his heart, the results weren't great. His lung capacity had decreased, not drastically, but it shouldn't be decreasing at all. His doctor booked him in for another lot of pulmonary function tests, wanting to keep a closer eye on the matter. His heart scans showed a slight decrease in function again, which was expected, and most likely the cause of his increased lightheadedness. An operation was mentioned to increase his heart's ejection fraction more than his medication could, but Casey had shook his head. It wasn't something he wanted yet, even though he knew the time would one when he'd have no choice if he wanted to live.

Severide held his hand throughout the appointment and they drove home in silence, and when they arrived home, Severide took Casey over to the couch, tucking him in a blanket before quickly nipping to the kitchen to grab him a bottle of Gatorade.

He smiled gratefully when Severide put the drink down next to him. After a few moments of sitting together in comfortable silence, Casey took Severide's hand. "My heart is gonna get worse, we knew that, probably why it's called heart failure, I've still got a long time with you yet. And they can operate, they can do magical things to increase its oxygen capacity, keep me going longer than you," he teased, offering Severide a warm smile.

"You're feeling ok?"

"Aside from those dizzy spells last week, I'm feeling good," Casey told him honestly.

"Good, good," Severide responded, giving Casey's forehead a quick kiss.

"Movie?" Casey suggested as he moved to grab the TV remote.

Severide stopped him. "I've actually got you a present."

"A present? What for?" he asked, eyes lighting up.

"Does there have to be a reason?" Severide dug behind the cushion and pulled out the wrapped box, he'd hid it when Casey had been distracted by the drink.

"What is it?" Casey continued enthusiastically as he took the small box.

Severide chuckled. "Open it and you'll find out."

With the boyish grin that Severide loved so much on his face, Casey tore the wrapping open. "A watch?"

"Yeah, an Apple watch," he confirmed.

"Aren't these ridiculously expensive?"

"It's a refurbished one, but perfect condition," Severide explained.

Casey peered at Severide. "There's a reason."

"A few weeks back Shay was telling me 911 were alerted by this guy's watch, he'd come off his bike on his way home from work, it was the early hours and no one had noticed or had been around, but this guy's watch realised he wasn't moving and the SOS system sent a 911 alert," he said, still clearly impressed by the technology.

"Cool… I'm not gonna be falling off a bike though," Casey responded.

"No, but if you fall or are noticeably still for too long, or your heart rate changes dramatically and you don't tell it not to send an alert, it'll get emergency services to you. Well, it will once we've sorted the settings out," he clarified.

Casey raised his brows and smiled. "So, it's like an ultra-fancy fall alarm?"

"Yup… you don't hate it do you? It does all the other cool stuff Apple watches do so…"

"It's really sweet, thank you, and it'll help put you at ease as well," Casey said.

"Good, I'm glad you like it."

Severide smiled as he caught Casey dozing on the couch, Pumpkin was curled up contentedly on his chest. They were in the exact spot Severide had left them in when he'd decided to go to the grocery store, wanting to get something nice in for dinner, to treat Casey after the hospital appointment that morning. He snapped a photo of the two of them before getting onto his knees and gently waking Casey.

"Hey… you're back," Casey greeted him, smiling tiredly.

"I got us some steaks, and I've treated us to some cheesecake," he told him, watching as Casey woke slowly.

"Cheesecake," Casey repeated.

"You like cheesecake…" he said, suddenly worried he'd chosen the wrong thing.

Casey nodded. "Just a bit weird, isn't it? Is it cheese or is it cake?"

He grinned. "Well, you're a bit weird too. How are you doing?" he asked as he sat down, moving Casey's leg so it was over his own lap.

Casey nodded again.

"How are you doing?" Severide repeated, making Casey smile.

"I'm ok, like I said, we know I'm only ever gonna get worse. I just guess I hoped that wouldn't happen. I still want a family, but I think that's selfish."

"I'm willing to steal a kid from DCSF for you," Severide teased. "Or do anything to make you happy. We could just have an army of cats and be crazy cat people. You know I'll do anything for you."

"I am happy," he said.

"Happier then," Severide corrected.

"Not possible," he responded, reaching out to Severide and giving his hand a squeeze.

"Want me to get dinner going?" Severide asked him.

"I can help," he suggested, propping himself up with his elbows, causing Pumpkin to move down onto the couch cushion.

"You made dinner yesterday, it's my turn."

Casey just smiled as he watched Severide stand again, he relaxed back into the couch. Pumpkin moved back onto him, and he idly stroked her soft fur as he listened to Severide humming from the kitchen.

"Shit!"

"Kelly?" Casey was already sitting up and grabbing his crutches as Pumpkin scrambled away. He made his way over to the kitchen as quickly as he could, then he saw the reason for Severide's panic. "Kel… shit… hold your hand up," he instructed, trying to focus on Severide's face and not the blood on the kitchen counter.

"S'ok, baby, I know what to do, I'm fine," Severide insisted, grabbing a towel and trying to wrap it around his hand.

The towel was quickly becoming saturated with blood. "We're going to the hospital…" he said, hoping his truck would start as it had been a while since he'd driven.

"It's fine, I'm fine," Severide insisted.

"Seriously? C'mon, let's go…"

In the ER, Casey was left standing in the waiting area. Severide had been seen to almost immediately, which Casey was grateful for, but it also worried him because it meant it was serious, and there had been so much blood. He'd not even seen the wound, and he could only assume that Severide had somehow caught himself with one of the large kitchen knives, the ones that Casey insisted on keeping sharp.

He recognised the nurse that had taken Severide to be seen by a doctor. He got her attention and walked up to her. "Do you know if I can see Kelly yet? Could you tell me where he is please?" he asked, leaning heavily on his crutches. He should have sat down whilst he'd waited but he was far too anxious to sit still.

She looked at him for a moment, seeing the worry on his face. She offered him a smile. "Follow me," she said.

He was taken down a row of curtained off bays. She pulled back the final curtain, revealing Severide. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand was lying across a table and the large cut he'd sustained was being carefully stitched together. "What did you do? Stab yourself with the knife?" Casey began, eyes wide at the sight of the wound.

Severide smiled at him. "I'm fine, Matt. Aren't I?" he asked the junior doctor who was concentrating on the stitches.

"He's fine, very lucky that it's superficial, it'll probably scar but it'll heal well," the doctor responded, glancing over to Casey.

"Good, good," Casey said, nodding with relief. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"Water would be great," Severide told him, knowing he'd feel better if he was doing something that felt like he was helping, because that's exactly how he felt with Casey was in the hospital.

"All right, I'll be right back," he responded, turning away.

As Casey picked up the bottle of water from the vending machine, a familiar voice caught his attention. "Matt, are you all right?"

He stood up and saw Kendra smiling at him. "I'm fine, for once it's Kelly, not me… he's fine too, he's getting some stitches," he answered.

"What did he do now?"

"Almost chopped a couple of fingers off," he told her, giving a small eye roll at the worry he'd felt over something he'd now found out was superficial. He'd always worry when it came to Severide though.

Severide was lying awake late that night, his hand was all bandaged up, and he was in pain, although he doubted it was much at all compared to anything Casey had been through. Still, he was in pain, and he was tired but unable to sleep because of it.

Another ten minutes passed by, and Severide's pain no longer mattered. Casey had started muttering in his sleep, letting out small moans that quickly escalated to groans. Severide got close to him and spoke gentle, soothing words, reminding Casey that he wasn't alone.

"Kel…"

"I'm here, I'm right here," he responded right away, reassuring him.

"My leg," Casey groaned, eyes scrunched shut.

"You're all right, I promise, you're all right," he soothed.

Casey was gritting his teeth and gripping Severide's arm hard enough that it was sure to leave a mark.

"Matt," he began calmly. "I need you to let go so I can reach over and get some painkillers. Can you do that for me?"

"What?" Casey responded, frowning.

"Just let go of my arm for a moment, I'm not going anywhere though, I just need to move. I'll be real quick," he explained, hoping his words were penetrating through the fog of pain Casey was shrouded in right now.

"Kel?" Casey said again, his grip only increasing.

"I'm going to make the pain stop," he told him.

"K…"

"Let go so I can make the pain stop," Severide said.

Casey's hand fell limply down onto the mattress.

"Good," Severide said as he reached over Casey and into the drawer on his nightstand. He grabbed the strongest painkillers as well as the bottle of water. "All right, sit up a little for me," he instructed as he slipped his arm under Casey's back, ready to help prop him up.

Casey did as he was told with Severide's help, and he swallowed the pills down with a few sips of water from the bottle Severide held to his lips. Severide let out a breath, relaxing a little knowing that it wouldn't take too long for the painkillers to kick in.

Suddenly Casey's body lurched. He was coughing up a storm, his eyes were streaming, the water and the pills he'd just swallowed came back out, landing on the bed covers. Severide could do nothing but gently rub his back and wipe away the drool from his chin as the coughs subsided.

Casey's breaths steadied and he relaxed into Severide's embrace. "Sorry…"

Severide just continued comforting him, he could spend a lifetime telling Casey not to apologise for things that weren't his fault, and it wouldn't make a difference.

After a short while, Severide spoke up. "Think you can try again?"

Casey shook his head.

"Just one pill, just to try and take the edge of the pain," he continued.

Casey shook his head again, closing his eyes.

"Do it for me?" Severide said as a last resort. He hated to bribe him, but he hated that he was in pain.

He opened his eyes and nodded wearily.

"What if this happens before the wedding?" Casey asked quietly as he lay in Severide's embrace. He'd managed to take two more painkillers, separately and a few minutes apart, but he'd done it and it had pleased Severide.

"The wedding's in the afternoon, you can sleep all morning if you have a bad night," Severide told him.

"What if I ruin it?"

"How could you?" Severide responded softly.

"I… I don't know… what if I get sick, what if I'm in pain, what if…"

"You're panicking," Severide stated.

Casey shrugged his shoulders a little. "Maybe."

"Who are you marrying?"

Casey frowned, the answer was obvious. "You."

"And who's gonna be there? People who hate you, or people that love you?"

"I just want it to be perfect for you, I'll mess it up," Casey responded. The pain he felt was starting to melt away and Severide could feel his shoulders unwind as the tenseness eased.

"It's already perfect," he said.

"You don't know that," Casey retorted.

"Yes, I do. The day will be all about us, about you and me, and our love, our lives. And besides, if it goes too smoothly, I'll be suspicious that something will go wrong," he added with a chuckle.

Casey smiled, letting out a quiet sigh of relief and relaxing down onto his pillow.

As their wedding crept closer, the days seemed to last forever. Everything had been finalised for weeks, everything had been payed for and organised, all the RSVP's had been returned. Severide was going to surprise Casey with a short getaway after the ceremony. He was going to take him out into the country for a week, they could go walking, fish, or simply relax together. He'd thought about going abroad again, but he knew Casey wouldn't be keen on putting their girls in a cattery for the duration, and he'd feel guilty if they asked Shay to look after them. This way, they could come along as well, and they'd enjoy the new scenery too, even if they just remained safely inside the cabin.

Casey was with Severide at the hospital when they checked up on his wound, it had healed well, especially with Casey's care.

"Why are you smiling?" Severide asked him.

"Just nice that we're here for you, not me," he answered, still smiling. "And that it's nothing too serious."

"It's nothing serious at all," Severide said.

"It was when there was blood gushing from your hand," he pointed out.

"Gushing," Severide repeated. "That's a little overdramatic."

He raised his brows. "You sprayed the kitchen cupboards with your blood."

The nurse was smiling with them both as she cleaned up. "You're done, Kelly. No need to keep covering it up now, just keep it clean," she told him, looking at both of them as she did.

"Thank you," Severide responded. "Let's get out of here," he said, turning to Casey.

"Fancy grabbing a take-away on the way home?" Casey asked him as they headed to the exit.

"Mmm… sounds good," he replied, suddenly feeling hungry at the thought.

"My treat," Casey said.

"We have a joint account now. Don't tell me; you've still not put the card in your wallet?"

"Oh yeah, I did put it in there… I just keep forgetting about it," he responded.

"Use it, I keep using it… doesn't seem fair if you don't too," Severide told him.

"All right, all right, I'll use it."

Casey was covered in scars from his head right down to the toes on his only leg. But they didn't matter, not to Severide, and on the morning of their wedding day he traced Casey's scars as he often did. Casey slipped off his mask and turned to face Severide on the bed, he smiled.

"Good morning."

"Morning," Severide responded, his own smile widening. "You look beautiful."

Casey's cheeks flushed. "I'm sure my eyes look like racoons after last night." It had been another tough night, though it was mainly nightmare induced rather than caused by pain. They'd both probably only had about three or four hours of sleep.

"Meds," Severide said simply.

"I know, I know…" He turned back over so he grabbed his pill organiser and water bottle. After a short while, he managed to take all of his morning medications.

Severide watched him with admiration in his eyes.

Once Casey had put down the water bottle, he looked back to Severide, lying on his side, head hitting the pillow. "Are you nervous?" Casey asked him quietly, taking his hand.

"No. Are you?" he responded, suspecting he that Casey was worried.

"What if I trip? What if I fall?"

"I'll hold you up, I'll catch you," Severide reassured him.

"I am looking forward to everything," he responded, not wanting to Severide to think he didn't want the day to happen. He wanted it more than anything right now.

"So am I," Severide said, smiling. "Now, go back to sleep, long night big day, rest up."

He shook his head. "I'm too excited now, don't think I can sleep."

"You barely slept last night…"

"I'm on an adrenaline high or something, I can't wait, too happy, too excited,"

Severide was grinning now. "If you slept this afternoon would come around quicker," he suggested.

"I want to sleep, I know I'll crash later… much later though, tonight, you'll have to carry me bridle style through the door because of it," he joked.

"I know it's no traditional wedding, but you know we're totally gonna have to consummate it, you can crash after that," Severide responded, smiling.

Casey was grinning at him. "I can live with that."

The tip of Casey's tongue poked out between his lips as he concentrated on adjusting Severide's bowtie. Severide had not been able to stop smiling all day. They were out by the lakeside now, in the distance they could see the small number of chairs set up, and their guests, all ready for their small gathering on the grass, ready to celebrate their love. Severide's father was amongst them, along with Christie and Violet. Most of their guests were made up of their 51 family, plus a few others from the CFD, the Chaplain was sitting beside Boden. Evan and few others they'd become friends with from the wheelchair basketball team were there, along with Ty and his wife.

Casey cast his eyes over to their guests.

"I don't think she's here," Severide told him softly as he turned Casey's head back so he could give his forehead a quick kiss.

Casey shrugged. "Didn't think she would be, but…"

He smiled when Casey trailed off. "I know, baby, I know."

"I love you," Casey responded, looking at him with awe.

"Aren't we supposed to be saving the 'I love you's for the ceremony?" he teased. He glanced over to their small setup again. "Shall we do this?"

Casey chuckled. "What, before I change my mind?"

Severide just shook his head, grinning.

"Hold me?"

"I'm not letting go," Severide assured as he took Casey's arm.

Everyone stood and faced them as they walked through the rows of chairs, gentle music played in the background, a playlist of both Severide's and Casey's favourite music. Casey's cheeks flushed, and Severide's smile only grew as they made their way to the civil servant who would be making their partnership official in the eyes of the law. It was a simple civil ceremony, neither of them had wanted anything ostentatious, they just wanted a small celebration of their love, and lives, especially after everything they'd been through over the last few years.

They both signed the register, concluding the official part of their partnership. Severide could not stop smiling, and it was infectious, Casey's eyes were firmly focused on him, and everyone felt their joy. There was a round of applause as they kissed. Casey's heart was pounding with excitement, and Severide could feel him trembling, but he knew it wasn't anything to do with his health.

"Feels like the end of an era…" Casey said as they broke their embrace.

Severide shook his head. "This isn't the end, it's just the beginning. You're stuck with me forever now. This is it… forever."

"And always," Casey continued. "I love you, Kelly Severide."

TBC