*Chapter 5: La La Law-Special Warners Unit*

On one particularly warm day and not a cloud in the sky, Dr. Scratchansniff walked out of a pharmacy only to discover that his car was being towed away.

"Vhat's thees?" he cried. "Officer, vhy are you toweeng avay my car?! I put enough money een za meter thees time!"

"I'm sorry, sir." said the police officer. "This here area has become a tow away zone."

Scratchansniff was rightfully outraged.

"VHAT?!" he cried. "Vhere on earth does eet say tow avay zone?!"

"Just doing my job, sir." the officer smoothly and calmly insisted. "We'll be seeing you at the impound lot."

The cop handed the flabbergasted p-sychiatrist a ticket displaying the traffic violation and a fine to which Scratchansniff gave an aggravated cry.

xxxxxx

Later on that afternoon, following the twenty minute bus ride that he was forced to take back to the studio, Scratchansniff went straight to his office and flopped onto the therapy couch nursing an headache. He nearly forgot that he had an appointment with a certain quartet when he looked up to find them sitting rather cheerfully behind his desk.

"Oh...right." he sighed. "Eh, keeds vhy don't ve take a rain check, ja?"

"Why?" the siblings asked coyly.

"Well, as you can plainly see, my insane cohorts..." Rem said. "...our dear p-sychiatrist has a migraine."

"...Thank you, Mees Roth." Scratchansniff muttered. "Vhile eet's not exactly a migraine, eet's still a very beeg headache..."

"But for the sake of the argument, why do you have a headache this early in the day?"

"I've got another tickeet."

He held up the yellow sheet that the Burbank police department had given him earlier. Yakko took it and read the fine print with a scrutinizing gaze.

"Aw, c'mon. This is just an insult." he ranted. "You're a law-abiding citizen! We'll just have to prove your innocence again as your lawyers!"

Of course, Scratchansniff did not like the sound of that.

"No, no, no. Not thees time." he declared. "Vhile I'm grateful for za last time, thees time, I'm goeeng to pay za fine. I mean, perhaps zey just had a sign somevhere und I just meesed eet."

"Nonsense!" Dot replied dismissively. "We'll get your case cleared up straight away."

And on that note, she and her brothers whirled into professional attire and each carrying a briefcase. Rem on the other hand was the only one amongst them not feeling so confident.

"Um, I've never studied law, guys." she said. "I only know stuff from Law and Order."

"And that's all you need to know, dearie." Dot told her sweetly yanking the teen along with her as the siblings marched out of the office.

A disheartened p-sychiatrist could only lay on his couch and watch them leave.

"I theenk my headache just became a migraine..." he whimpered.

XXXXXX

The very next day, Dr. Scratchansniff appeared in the Burbank Traffic court without his 'attorneys'. He was fully prepared to pay off the fine without challenge or incident. The middle-aged, yet graying judge read the charges at his bench from a clipboard handed to him by the bailiff.

"Well, Doctor Otto Scratchansniff." the judge began. "You're charged with a parking violation...again. As such, you can pay the fine right here and now, or you can try to prove your innocence."

"Eh-heh-heh, vell, I've got my check book vith me." Scratchansniff replied dutifully and pleasantly. "So, I'll just get right to eet, und-"

"FIGHT!"

Suddenly, the studio shrink began trembling at the sound of that all too familiar voice.

"Oh no..." he whimpered.

The judge on the other hand was a bit perplexed.

"Who said that?" he loudly inquired.

Then, Yakko abruptly appeared bursting out of the Judge's water pitcher.

"I did, your judgity!" the elder Warner declared cheerfully as his two siblings also appeared and proceeded to give the judge a smooch.

"Ugh!" the judge recoiled, pushing them away before realizing who he was dealing with. "Oh no, not you three again!"

"Of course, your judgity!" Yakko replied valiantly as Wakko and Dot played kazoos with the American flag flowing behind them. "As long as we're around, we'll always defend our client from injustice! And by the way, it's us four now."

"Us four...?"

A few seconds later, Rem entered the courtroom clad in a white oxford collared shirt, a black tie, and a formal navy-blue skirt.

"Sorry I'm late." she announced. "Took the scenic route, because there's no way I'm gonna make an entrance like that."

"Allow us to introduce our attorney in training, Miss Rem Roth!" Yakko declared.

"I see..." the judge mused, scratching his chin in thought.

"Where's the jacket I got for you?!" Dot exclaimed after noticing her charge's attire.

"It's 90-ass degrees outside, and you want me to wear a jacket?!" Rem ranted.

"Excuse, me! But can we have some order here?" the judge interjected irately as he brought down his gavel.

The siblings then whirled into food service uniforms with a grill in front of them. Dot leapt up to the judge's bench with a note pad.

"Alright, what'll you have?" she asked. "The Hamburger Deluxe, or the Sunday Monster Special?"

"...Sunday Monster Special?" the judge asked, bemused.

Dot then pulled out a small white box, which upon opening, a xenomorph popped out and roared into the judge's face before shrinking back inside.

"Thank you." Dot said sweetly. "That'll be a buck fifty."

"Now see here!" the judge angrily exclaimed.

"Ooo, where?" the siblings replied. "Where?"

Rem shifted uncomfortably with Dr. Scratchansniff.

"Can we cut the screwing around and get on with this?" she quietly ranted.

Yakko gave her a funny look and threw a kiss.

"Mwaah! Goodnight, everybody!"

"...shut up." Rem snapped as her face went slightly red.

"I will have everyone in this courtroom come to order this instant!" the judge demanded, banging his gavel again.

"You know, preeson can't be vorse zen thees." Dr. Scratchansniff whimpered before turning to Rem. "Can eet?"

"I wouldn't count on it." Rem told him.

A few minutes later, everyone was seated in their respective places as the court got into session.

"Now then." the judge began. "Before we start, I assume your trainee knows all there is about due process of law and all that?"

"Maybe a little..." Yakko replied. "...but eeeeehhhhh, she does the entire length of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera in Japanese."

"FUCK YOU." Rem snapped furiously, the red blush returning to her face.

"Order!" the judge declared in a warning tone. "I'll have none of that in my courtroom."

"Pardon us, we nearly forgot." Dot purred.

She and her brothers then proceeded to slap a 'CENSORED' tape over the teen's maw.

xxxxxx

As the 'trial' carried on, the police officer who issued Scratchansniff the traffic violation ticket was called to the witness stand. He took off his cap once he was seated.

"Please state your name and occupation for the record please." the judge requested.

"I'm Mitchel Schmidt and I'm a traffic officer."

"Thank you. Your witness."

Wakko got up from his chair with a book and presented it to Officer Schmidt.

"Do you swear?" he asked.

"Yes." Officer Schmidt declared, placing his left hand on the book and raising his right.

"Well you shouldn't. It's not nice; just ask Rem."

Rem in response stuck her tongue out at him as the middle Warner waltzed away from the witness stand. Dot daintily got up from her chair and walked over carrying a clipboard.

"Mr. Schmidt...were you at the Kitty Kat club last Wednesday night?!" she demanded.

"...No." replied the officer, quite taken aback.

Dot blankly glanced at her clipboard and flipped through a few pages before shrugging and returning to the defense table.

"Well, I've got nothin' else." she said. "Your turn, Wakko."

Wakko started up from his chair again, revved up his feet, and simply walked over to the witness stand. The middle Warner had started to ask a question but stopped to think about. He repeated that process a few more times, until the judge finally got annoyed.

"Will you get on with it?!" he exclaimed in a tone loud enough to make Wakko slightly dizzy.

After straightening his red cap, Wakko asked his question.

"Mr. Schmidt, do you...like candy?"

"Well, er...on occasion." Officer Schmidt replied.

"Do you have any?!" Wakko inquired again, excitedly jumping onto the witness box.

"Well, no."

Disappointed, Wakko got up from the witness box and walked back to the defense table.

"I'm through." he muttered with melancholy. "Your turn."

"Why thank you." Yakko replied sarcastically. "I have so much to go on."

"Break a leg, Warner." Rem shot back.

Yakko marched himself right up to the witness box.

"Officer Schmidt..." he began. "Did you give Doctor Scratchansniff a ticket on the 18th?"

"Why yes." the officer replied. "He was parked in a no parking zone. It's a violation of the Burbank penal code, you know."

Yakko grimaced.

"The what?" he sputtered.

"The penal code, the penal code!" the cop repeated.

"Hey Roth, I think I've found your soulmate." Yakko called over to the teen jokingly.

Rem responded by pulling down her eyelid and sticking her tongue out. The judge became flabbergasted.

"Let's not start that again!" he demanded irritably.

"Excuse me, but I actually got a question for the witness." Rem suddenly spoke up. "It's been brought to our attention by our client that there was no signage in plain view declaring the site as a no parking zone. Care to explain why?"

"Hmmm, that is a very good question." the judge replied, sternly folding his arms and giving the officer a look. "Is that true, Officer Schmidt?"

"Er...well, I suppose so." the policeman confessed, nervously twirling his cap.

"Well then how on earth is the Doctor or anyone else for that matter supposed to know it's a no parking zone with no proper notification? We're running a city her, man; not a cartoon!"

Suddenly, the siblings leapt into the judge's arms.

"Well, we wouldn't say that." Wakko commented smoothly as he and his siblings' eyes began to sparkle before they all laid big smooch on him.

"URGH! Get off, before I find you in contempt!"

After straightening himself out, the judge gave his ruling.

"I hereby declared Doctor Otto Scratchansniff innocent by a technicality, and the case dismissed." he announced, bringing the gavel down.

"There, Scratchy. You can take a load off." Yakko said

"We won again!" Wakko cheerfully added.

"And you did marvelous, young padawan." Dot mused, turning to Rem after whirling into a Jedi Knight's attire and pinching her cheek.

"Gee, thanks." Rem muttered.

AN: Happy new year, folks! Thus ends Act XXIV. Tune in next time for more! ;)

=Song List=

-Sinjitu No Uta by Do As Infinity

-Tai Chi Meditation by Suzanne Doucet & Gary Miraz

-Shake Your Coconuts by Junior Senior