THE PAST

June tried to be happy for her friend, she really did. She however believed Jordy could get much better than Emilio. She hadn't forgiven him for what he had done to Erik — not for a bit. She'd promised Erik not to tell anyone, but it was hard. Emilio had shown some cross-border behavior before, but in her eyes this had been a serious offence and it didn't sit right with her that Jordy was oblivious to this dark side of him. Although she doubted knowing truth would really change Jordy's opinion about Emilio, for she clearly saw him through rose-colored glasses. Also, better than anyone did June know how it felt when your friend wasn't supporting your relationship, and the last thing she wanted was following in Beth's footsteps.

Jordy's relationship with Emilio however made her spent even more time with the boy. Not only during school; now it was weekend, Jordy invited Juan and her over to hang out at her place. June felt a little guilty because she'd tried to come up with excuses to decline Jordy's invitation to watch a movie. The twins however were at home and her mother needed no extra help, and so, she had eventually agreed to come while she was trying not to show Juan how reluctant she felt. Juan liked to hang out together. He was happy his friend was finally in a relationship, convinced that Jordy could only have positive influence on him. June decided to keep her thoughts to herself; she knew how important his friendship with Emilio was.

By now, June had been so many times at Jordy's place that she came around the back, using the spare key that was was hidden under the same stone for years. As always, the large house felt empty. Actually, June couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen Jordy's parents. The thought that her friend was so often alone, made her sad, and so she told herself once more that it was for the best that she was having a boyfriend now — even when Emilio was that boyfriend.

June and Juan hanged up their coats in the pantry. The last time the both of them had been inside the house, was during Jordy's pool party when they had been in a fight because Juan had tried to make her jealous by flirting with some other girl. The knowledge that Erik had been the reason for his behavior while they now knew he was gay, made it even more ridiculous.

They had been in quite some fights, June thought as she looked back to the past months. Nevertheless, the warm feeling in her chest hadn't left; now Juan's fingers were lacing with hers, she still felt butterflies.

They entered the door to the living room, where the other couple was sitting on the couch. A bit awkwardly June looked away; Jordy was on Emilio's lap and they were kissing quite passionately, whereby Emilio's hand had disappeared below Jordy's dress. Uncomfortably, she stared at her shoes.

"Hey, knock it off," Juan said, although his tone told her he was smirking.

"We thought it'be good to get you in the right mood, y'know?"

The right mood? For what?

"We don't need your help with that." Juan squeezed her hand.

Emilio snorted, but instead of making a comment, he cried out in pain. As she looked up, she saw him rubbing his ribs while he was glaring at his girlfriend.

"June and I will pick the first movie. Go get us something to drink," Jordy said, pushing Emilio off the couch.

Juan decided to help his friend and June walked over to Jordy, who was standing in front of the dvd rack. They had watched a movie so many times that June believed she knew what movies were in it by heart, but she said nothing.

"What do you think?" Jordy asked. "Something romantic? 10 Things I Hate About You is still my favorite."

June got it. Just like Grease had always reminded her of her own situation with Juan, Jordy recognized her own parallels with this movie.

"Fine by me."

Jordy put the disc in the dvd-player. Crackling sounds left the kitchen; apparently the boys had found the chip bag instead of their drinks.

Not much later, the four of them were sitting on the U-shaped couch, a couple at both sides. Juan had wrapped his arms around her, giving her small kisses. Emilio tried to tie Jordy's hair to the heating pipe next to the couch while she complained about his stinky socks. Nevertheless, they were both laughing. She had to let go of it, she knew it. Maybe they would be all right. She couldn't affect the outcome anyway.

The movie started and June tried her best to focus her attention at the screen while leaning against Juan. Now she thought about it, they hadn't watched a lot of movies together. But she liked it, lying in his arms while the rest of the world seemed to disappear.

After the first movie the boys wanted a smoke break. Since the weather was good, Jordy and June decided to go outside as well. Emilio and Juan lit a fire in a fire pit, and the girls sat down at two chairs while they talked about June's birthday which she would celebrate within two weeks.

"You ever been high, June?" Emilio asked, sitting down next to her and offering her a blunt.

"No, thanks," she muttered.

She believed Emilio was annoying enough when he was not intoxicated.

"Ah c'mon girl, live a bit for once! My homie loves to trip with his chick."

Her eyes shot to Juan, who was also holding a joint.

He winked at her. "If that was really true, I would have told you and not him."

June intertwined her fingers, feeling uncomfortable. She had never seen Juan smoke spot, even though she knew he did it occasionally.

"He only tells you that because he's such a gentleman," Emilio said in a teasing soft tone, while he leaned over her to give Jordy a joint. "But secretly, he wants you to go wild for once."

While he was still hovering over her, he started to kiss Jordy in a way that made her feel sick. Pushing him away from her, June glared at him.

Emilio just chuckled and continued to poke the fire. The smell of pot was so strong it exceeded that of the burning wood, and its scent made her feel nauseous.

"You neither want a hit?" Jordy asked.

June shook her head. She didn't feel happy about the fact that her friend was so easily joining them. As far as she knew, she had never smoked pot before she got together with Emilio. When she decided to go to Jordy's house, she never expected to be around three people who wouldn't be sober halfway the evening. June didn't say much while the other three started a conversation about all the stupid things they had done when they were high or drunk. It wasn't something she could participate in; she had never done that herself.

All in all she was relieved when they went inside to watch a second movie. She however didn't expect to understand much of the movie, for Jordy laughed exuberantly about everything Emilio said, and Emilio's voice was even louder than usually. Which was in contrast to Juan, who was just clingy, leaning against her the whole time.

"You don't mind do ya babe?" he whispered in her ear. "That I lit up one? 's Not that bad, y'know?" He kissed her earlobe, hugging her so tightly he almost crushed her.

June suppressed a sigh. She didn't like it and pushed him away with her shoulder.

He pouted. "You don't like me anymore?"

"You smell of pot," she grumbled.

He chuckled. "Guess I taste of it too. You want a taste?"

"No."

June was inclined to go home if he kept acting like this, but she couldn't give him a really good reason. She just wasn't sure what influence this would have on him; she didn't like him not being completely himself.

In an attempt to distract herself she looked at the screen. Another movie was playing, one promising a lot of action. Not something she liked a lot, but it had been up to the boys to choose a movie this time.

June kept her eyes on the screen. After a while Juan's head dropped on her shoulder and he breathed out deeply — he had fallen asleep. From the corner of her eyes she looked aside. His face was peaceful, and he had clutched his fingers around hers.

She let him be, hoping the effect of the pot would be gone once he woke up when the movie was over.

Not much later, June discovered that she was the only one watching the movie — even though she didn't even like it. She heard Jordy giggle, and when she turned her head aside, she saw that Emilio's hand had slipped underneath her dress again.

Again, she started to feel sick. Stubbornly she looked forward, but when she heard someone moan, she snapped her head aside. She only did so to convince herself she had heard it wrong, that she felt so awkward that she was imagining things, but when she saw that Jordy had tilted back her head and that Emilio was whispering in her ear while Jordy's dress was rolled up so high it exposed her legs completely, she felt shocked.

There was a sting in her stomach when Emilio caught her glance and smirked.

"If you want Juan to wake up you should shove his hand inside your pants. You're gonna love it, trust me. Just look at your friend, huh?"

Jordy chuckled quietly, mumbling words June couldn't hear.

June had enough of it. Tears were stinging in her eyes — she never thought she would feel so uncomfortable around two people who meant the world to her. Pushing Juan aside, she got up.

He slumped aside but didn't wake up.

June turned around, rushed to the kitchen and grabbed her coat. Hot tears glided down her cheeks while she closed the door behind her. All alone, she started to walk home.

Nobody — not her best friend, nor her boyfriend, cared about it.